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Monday, May 08, 2006



There are a more than a few things I don’t do well.

Singing, dancing and playing musical instruments are all out of the question while being a guest teacher for the day.

Explaining math, reading aloud, inserting DVD’s are all well within my talents while following a teacher’s lesson plan.

Mixed in with the books for today’s 6th grade assignment included a title called “"What's Happening To Me? A Guide to Puberty…”

The book includes a section titled:

Worlds most embarrassing questions (WMEQ):
  • Why is my chest getting bumpy?
  • What’s an erection?
  • What’s a period?
  • Why is my voice acting funny?
  • Why do I get pimples?
  • What’s masturbation?
  • Why am I getting hairy?
  • What’s a wet dream?
  • Why is mine not like his?
  • What happens next?
Did I forget this is an “illustrated” book?

A VERY illustrated book! No way is this going to work in a mixed boy/girl classroom environment of thirty kids without losing control.

A quick double check of the lesson plan did NOT include any lesson plan assignment involving this book.

That’s very good, because it had already made my current and future “Do Not Do” list.

No Way! No How!


Tara's World said...

I think I would have paid to see that!

Baba said...

This reminds of when I taught 4th grade (full-time) and had to lead the annual "health" lesson on sex and AIDS education. (I'm not sure what I think about the notion that this has to be covered in school in 4th grade [even just for a lesson].) Thankfully most of the lesson was a video. Discussion followed. At least we separated the sexes – I had to host all the 4th grade boys. There was much snorting and giggling. When my regular class reconvened some of them continued asking questions, so we had a little "mixed" discussion after all. They handled it surprisingly well. I kinda' had to "shock" them a little bit with composure and an unembarrassed casualness about the whole thing. A sex lesson wouldn't be an ideal one for a sub', though.

With that puberty book, you don't think one of the kids snuck it into the pile to see if you would read or cover it, or was that not possible? (When I subbed years back, I was victim of some similarly devious pranks.) I doubt the teacher would have put it in the pile as a joke or dare … I don't know any teachers who'd be that sadistic.

The MAN Fan Club said...

For 3 years straight I've had the pleasure of being the instuctor for all 5th grade boys when we watch "the video." Luckily they cut the video right when dad and son start talking about wet dreams.

You dodged that one.