Must Be Nice…

I subbed two 5th grade classes on Monday & Tuesday this week. The first was a tough day, the second pretty easy.

Those were the only subbing days I’ve worked since the Thanksgiving break. Five days of vacation break followed by an additional seven days of no calls.

“Must be nice”, she said going out the door to work while I’m lounging in my PJ’s.

My wife has one of those regular jobs where they expect you to show up for work on a regular basis. She’s also into a ton of extra curricular, non-paying activities that most times make for some real long days away from the house.

She’s tired and stressed. She’s got too much to do and not enough time to do it all. I understand completely what she’s feeling. She’d like to have more time to herself. She’d like an unscheduled day, week or even a month off. I know I enjoy it!

I don’t have to ask for a day off or “get it approved” by anyone. I don’t need a reason. I don’t have to prepare for someone else to do my job for me in case I have to cancel at the last moment. It’s actually pretty stress free most of the time.

While regular teachers DO get a lot of time off, I get even more. I get the three months of summer plus 3-4 weeks during the school year for the scheduled holiday weeks. I also get any days that I can’t work due to personal commitments and days where I simply “don’t wanna go”. Add to that the days I don’t work because I’m not needed and it sometimes seems like I’m not working at all!

So when she says: “Must be nice”, I know I’m supposed to feel guilty. To assuage that guilt, I simply state that she could have all those same benefits (plus low pay) that I have. All she has to do is quit and start substitute teaching too!

But…she reads this blog and “must be nice” doesn’t much come to mind compared to her current job.

Valentine’s Day…

G5
Subbing on candy holidays isn’t high on my list of favorites.

Halloween and Valentine's Day are usually to be avoided at all costs. But since the schools are out all next week, I accepted this two day fifth grade assignment hoping for the best.

Could have gone better if:

• …The lesson plan for math wasn’t titled “Valentine Candy Math”. The first instruction on the worksheet was “DON’T EAT THE CANDY HEARTS UNTIL YOUR TEACHER SAYS YOU CAN!!!” As suggested, I repeated this instruction to them even before they entered the classroom. The two page math worksheet had them sorting, listing statistics on number, color and graphing the contents of the box of “SweetHart Candies” on every kid’s desk
  

• …They hadn’t had a class party the day before. They had seven (7) full size bags and assorted flavors of leftover chips that the teacher said to hand out at recess. She didn’t want them left in the classroom over the vacation due to previous problems with mice in the classroom.

Another math problem: Equally divide 7 different sized bags of chips by 32 kids. Can’t do it? Neither could I.

So, at recess time, I took all seven bags and lined them up outside the classroom door. My final instruction before opening the door to the impending stampede was: “Don’t return with any leftovers as they are not coming back into the classroom”.

I was sure the chips would have been devoured by recess end, but I was wrong. Four kids had somehow managed to hoard partial bags of “Flaming Hot Cheetos” and “Ranch Flavored Chips”.

As promised, I confiscated the remnant chips and, to the chorused horror of 32 fifth graders, scattered the hoarded remnants to the seagulls patrolling over head.

Problem solved…

Hot, Now Cold …

The subbing business seems to be running hot and cold.

The first three months of this school year, it was HOT. It seemed that I was getting 5-6 requests for the 3-4 assignments a week I was able to take. I had to turn down a few advance requests two weeks in advance because of prearranged assignments.

Now with the onset of winter the subbing assignments, like the weather, have turned COLD. Just one assignment per week for the first half of November and one assignment per week scheduled for the rest of the month.

If the week long school vacation in November is the cause then the months of December through the end of March aren’t looking much better. There is a scheduled week off during each of those months also.

Teachers are discouraged from extending vacations by calling in sick, so the substitute caller line tends to be quieter the days immediately before and after school vacations. Things should pick up again in non-holiday months of April and May.

I have a disappointment in store for teachers desperate to burn off those remaining union contracted sub days before the summer vacation in June.

I’m taking MY two week vacation to Hawaii mid-May because…I can!