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Saturday, February 16, 2008

Valentine’s Day…

Subbing on candy holidays isn’t high on my list of favorites.

Halloween and Valentine's Day are usually to be avoided at all costs. But since the schools are out all next week, I accepted this two day fifth grade assignment hoping for the best.

Could have gone better if:

  • …The lesson plan for math wasn’t titled “Valentine Candy Math”. The first instruction on the worksheet was “DON’T EAT THE CANDY HEARTS UNTIL YOUR TEACHER SAYS YOU CAN!!!” As suggested, I repeated this instruction to them even before they entered the classroom. The two page math worksheet had them sorting, listing statistics on number, color and graphing the contents of the box of “SweetHart Candies” on every kid’s desk
  • …They hadn’t had a class party the day before. They had seven (7) full size bags and assorted flavors of leftover chips that the teacher said to hand out at recess. She didn’t want them left in the classroom over the vacation due to previous problems with mice in the classroom.

Another math problem: Equally divide 7 different sized bags of chips by 32 kids. Can’t do it? Neither could I.

So, at recess time, I took all seven bags and lined them up outside the classroom door. My final instruction before opening the door to the impending stampede was: “Don’t return with any leftovers as they are not coming back into the classroom”.

I was sure the chips would have been devoured by recess end, but I was wrong. Four kids had somehow managed to hoard partial bags of “Flaming Hot Cheetos” and “Ranch Flavored Chips”.

As promised, I confiscated the remnant chips and, to the chorused horror of 32 fifth graders, scattered the hoarded remnants to the seagulls patrolling over head.

Problem solved…

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