Why I Don't Like Long Term Subbing...

Tomorrow is the last day of a long-term assignment I really didn't want.

The district office called on Tuesday afternoon two weeks ago....

"...We wanted to ask if you are available to work a two and a half week, long-term, 6^th grade assignment at xyz school starting Wed April/2 up to the start of Spring Break".

Now, the best way to preview a possible career in teaching is to take as many long-term substituting assignments as possible.

It's a great way to get a feel for and demonstrate your abilities to others that you can handle the stress of classroom management and the planning work load involved. It's also a great way to gage what grade levels you are comfortable with and even some of the schools in which you might be working.

I am not looking for in a career in teaching. Subbing is strictly a part-time job for me.

I can handle anything for a single day. I can execute the teacher's pre-written lesson plan. I can collect the daily work and leave a daily summary for the teacher to let him/her know what I did/did not complete.

Since I was not available for the 2^nd and 3^rd day of this assignment ( I was previously booked at another school)  I told them I couldn't take the assignment thinking that would dissuade the offer right there.

I assumed, given those conditions, they would pass and get someone more qualified and able to provide the consistency and continuity one instructor for the full term would provide.

That didn't happen. They would get a sub for the two days I wasn't available and put me in for the rest.

First day was a disaster. The "students" were off the wall and out of control and not in any mood for actual class work. This is supposed to be one of the three top schools in the district, but this particular class is not helping that reputation.

Add to that, the detailed daily lesson plan for the entire two weeks was anything but:

Roll call

Reading

Recess

Writing

Lunch

Math

Recess

Science

Clean up

Dismiss

- repeat-

The socializing and students wandering the room is constant. My attempts to DO the 3R's lesson plan wasn't working.  I first had to locate just where they were in each subject before I could assign anything. Even a visit from the principal had little effect after she left the room.

I was already dreading the next two weeks, but at least I had tomorrow and Friday to be somewhere else before I had to return on Monday.

Monday morning arrives all too soon. The automated subbing system is calling at 05:30am to offer me a job in a Kinder class at a different school. That's very peculiar.  I thought my schedule was set for the next two weeks. The system shouldn't be calling to offer any conflicting assignments.

Sure enough, when I logged in to check my schedule, there were no pending assignments listed. After that first class on Wed, I felt a little relieved to think I was "released".

I did what any reasonable person would do at 05:30am with nothing urgent to get up for....I went back to bed.

It's close to 09:30am and the school is calling to see why I hadn't shown up for my assignment.  I explained I checked and wasn't on the schedule. I explained that I took that to mean they had cancelled it. It's happened before.

They double checked, and saw that the person responsible neglected to enter my two week assignment. They asked if I could still make it in today.

I had to turn them down as I had already made alternate plans for the day. They said they would call for someone else to work today and re-assured me that I WOULD be on the schedule for the rest of the assignment.

(...I found out later that "my" class was stranded that morning waiting on the back playground for about 30min before someone noticed and notified the front office)

They Were Too Smart For My Own Good…

I subbed a 6^th grade class the week before the last day of school. As a class they were really good natured and very smart.

They had a full day of work assignments and even a test on the anatomy of the human body. They had to identify the location and spelling of some of the 206 bones in the human skeleton.

That and the other daily assignments convinced me that there would be little if any idle time for them to get bored and restless.

As it turned out, most of the class completed all the work with oodles of time left. I broke out my standby activity for the early finishers: The Night Watchman Maze.

By the time the rest of the class completed their classroom assignments, they joined up in teams to see which team would solve the puzzle first.

Frustrated team member: What’s this thing called again?

Me: The Night Watchman Maze

I didn’t think anything more about the inquirer as he returned to his team at the back of the room until later. I saw that the “team” members were crowded around one of the classroom computers.

While my blog isn’t exactly anonymous, I know of only one teacher who has discovered its existence so far. There may be more but if so, they haven’t told me they read or even know about it.

All that changed in one afternoon. There on the computer screen is a familiar looking "book shelf"  Blogger template

Kids: Hey! Mr. Homework! You’re on the internet! We Googled “night watchman maze" and found this!

What else could I say? -- I lied:  

Me: No, that’s not me. It must be someone else…someone with the same name.

Kids: No, no…Isn’t that your picture right there!

Me: Hey, It’s time to go out for some P.E.

Who wants to play some NationBall?   

If you don’t know what NationBall is, I’m sure you can Google it and find out. It seems like ALL the answers are on the internet….

Haiku To You Too!

I kinda knew that commenting on “fluff lessons” these last few days of the school year was gonna come back and get me.

Karma struck in a 6^th grade assignment. The lesson plan called for teaching “American Haiku” imagery to thirty 6^th graders who had already mentally checked out for the year.

Not that I’m all well prepared to teach Haiku, because I’m not. All I know about the subject is what I read in the teacher’s edition text some 20min before class.

Three 5-syllable, 7-syllable,  5-syllable lines of imagery describing a scene, feeling or thought.  This was to be followed by an art project representing the students’ Haiku poem.

What I got in return were mostly variations on the theme:

I don’t like Haiku,

It’s really boring to do.

Can’t wait until two… (Dismissal time)

At least it was 5-7-5 syllables in three lines.

I didn’t even attempt the “art” project part. Instead went out to join extended P.E. with all the other 6^th grade classes for the rest of the day.

You Know The School Year Is Over When…

I was able to pick up the afternoon half of 6th a grade assignment yesterday. The room was empty when I arrived which means the class is out for P.E. or already at lunch. 

There was no lesson plan for the afternoon on the teacher’s desk, so I went searching the lunch room/yard for the teacher. She was out back monitoring her class playing volleyball.

She gave me a copy of the lesson plan for the rest of the day and indicated that individual students will conduct and teach all the lessons. All they needed me for was “monitoring” until the end of day bell.

Today’s lessons:

·      Crochet

·      Magic Card tricks

·      Volleyball Serves

On the list were “classes” for the rest of the week also:

Wed	Gin Rummy	Paint Ball	Henna Design
Thurs	Baseball Pitching	Basketball History	Making Cupcakes	Iris Folding
Friday	Football	Drawing Cartoons	Cake Pops (?)

At lunch in casual conversation, I mentioned some of the “creative” lessons for the day.

One of the teachers indicated that all the testing and grades were complete for the year.  All the textbooks have been returned to the library. So, while there are still twelve days of “school” left, there was actually nothing left to do…

Complete Lesson Planning…

My 6^th grade assignment did not start very well yesterday. I couldn’t get in the classroom door. It was the right key but door simply would not open.

“Oh, yea. We forgot. You have to give the door a bit of a shoulder/bump action while turning the key. Go out and wait by the classroom and we’ll have the custodian help you get in.”

Now that I’m in the classroom (…and after testing my prowess practicing the shoulder bump door opening procedure to make sure I could actually replicate the result for the rest of the day), I found my lesson plan.

Now, I’ve experienced all manner of lesson plans from the no lesson plan, the tiny lesson plan, the giant plan, the Hi-Tech plan, last minute plan and everything else in between.

I’d have to say that this might be the most complete detailed plan I’ve ever come across. Nine pages long and I didn’t even get to the daily work until page 7.

The last three pages of the plan dealt with what I would consider the “working guts” of the lesson plan.

The first six pages dealt with all manner of emergency drill procedures, procedures needed to address the medical issues with the twelve (of 31 total) students in class with allergies, EpiPens, learning, behavior, physical disabilities and what to do or who to go to in the event I needed help.

It even had instruction on how to “open the door”!

That particular page would have been especially helpful if it had been taped to the outside of the door this morning.

Procrastination Means Work for Me…

My assignment was for two days in 6th grade this week. It came with an addendum note that stated: “…class will be held in the library both days”. When I arrived Monday morning, the office clarified what was going on.

It seems that 6th grade enrollment had dropped over the summer. As a result all five 6th grade classes were under populated. The decision was made to disband one of the 6th grade classrooms and re-absorb the students into the remaining four.

Coincidentally, the 1st grade classes were over populated and the, now the newly surplused, 6th grade teacher was now going to be the teacher for the “over quota” 1st graders.

The “new” 1st grade teacher, under contract, is allowed a two day transition period to dismantle the old 6th grade classroom and setup her new 1st grade classroom. My job is to cover those days and be with her 6th graders until they disperse to their new class assignments.

All this was finalized by the school district on Friday, the third day after the start of the new school year. I found out later via “teachers lounge scuttlebutt” that the district has been “grappling” with situation since mid-summer.

The uncertainty and apprehension among the kids was obvious as I was asked several times both days if I knew which classes they were going into. I had no answers. It was Tuesday afternoon when I delivered them to the 6th grade wing when they finally had the answer while meeting their new teachers.

I can’t imagine that the situation will be much better over in the 1st grade wing come tomorrow.

Reindeer Games …

The phone rang at oh-six-dark-hundred this morning and that could only mean one thing.

Fumbling in the dark, I answered and accepted a half day subbing assignment starting at noon, then happily went back to sleep until 09:00am.

My three hour assignment commenced at the start of lunch for the 3rd grade class. That meant a quiet 40min paperback reading period for me. A book to read in any spare moment is one of the subbing essentials I carry in my backpack.

The lesson plan for the remainder of the day was very light. With only four days until summer break the day was shortened even more by a final hour break for the whole school to attend the annual, end of year “Teachers .vs. 6th Graders” kick-ball/baseball game.

That cut my “in class” assignment to little more than a single hour. What could be easier?

At the appointed time, I had the class pick up their chairs and haul them out to the ball field as every other class was doing. My class quickly disappeared into the mix of other classes lining the field. The teachers not playing in the game were monitoring the boundaries to thwart anyone from wandering off school property or onto the playing field during the game.

The teams gathered on the sidelines and it was immediately apparent that something was wrong. There were only seven teachers on the field. The teachers were outnumbered by a factor of almost 4-to-1.

There was an announcement calling for one or two more teacher “volunteers” to play that went unheeded. All the male staff, including the principal, were already on the field. Some of last year’s female players were on the sidelines in various stages of pregnancy or injury.

Now, substitute teachers are kinda like Rudolphs. We usually aren’t invited to play in any reindeer games with the rest of the herd and I’m happy with that arrangement. I have about 20yrs “advantage” over the oldest of the teacher players. Sitting on the sidelines enjoying the warm sun is AOK by me. But, it wasn’t to be.

I was gently coerced and eventually agreed to play the catcher position to minimize any “running” participation in the game. The teachers then drafted one of the sixth graders to act as pitcher and fill out the rest of the team.

The rules of the game seemed to be a bit free form and biased in favor of 6th graders. The rules are:

Three outs and done for the teachers. The 6th graders get one pass through all of their players and at least three outs before switching sides.

Teachers had eight playing positions including me as catcher.
The 6th graders had twelve outfielders (four in each field), two on every infield position and the rest sprinkled throughout the rest of field.

The game was tied nine each when time was almost gone but the teachers had “last ups”. The principle suggested ending it in a draw, but the guy teachers overruled him to play out the rest of the inning.

Teachers prevailed -- 10-9.

Winding Down...

The last day of school is June/11 for this year. The prevailing atmosphere in the classroom is that most of the kids have already checked out.

I was asked to do a “roving sub” assignment for three of the 6th grade classes yesterday. I was brought in to work 1.5hrs in each classroom to allow the teachers additional time to catch up evaluating the “writing” ability of their students. The teachers need to complete the student writing assessments for final grades.

Each teacher I talked to before my time slot made similar comments about the kids being more talkative than usual now that they’re in the final weeks. The final classroom lesson plan even listed:

“1:50 – 2:30: Science practice book pages xxx to xxx…or just take them out to the school yard for P.E. if you feel the need to get out”

No science practice book pages completed!

Unexpected Surprise…

I mentioned earlier that the 6th grade class I was to have today, had a “low expectation of social behavior” when it came to school demeanor. I knew what to expect.

Well, I’m batting 1-2 in the “expectations” department. Today's anticipated disaster with the 6th graders didn’t materialize!

Since the last time I was in this class, the school had instituted a guideline to remove the class hoodlum whenever a sub was in for the teacher. Amazingly, removing that one kid dispelled the dark forces that permeated the social atmosphere I had witnessed twice earlier this year.

The class was actually fun to be with for a change!

 

School Assemby Programs...

The “school assembly” is the equivalent of the “all hands meeting” in the corporate world. Everyone is required to attend; it isn’t an option. It’s also rarely of any value to the attendees and a big disruption to any actual work getting accomplished.

Come to think of it, that may have been the turning point in my previous career, when at one such meeting soliciting suggestions to boost productivity in the work place, that my pointed suggestion to schedule fewer “meaningless meetings” was not favorably received.

But that’s another story.

The school assembly seems to come in two varieties. The school sponsored rallies like spirit day, fund raisers, and school awards are pretty much choreographed, tame events. The PTA and other parent group sponsored assembly programs bring in an outside professional “performance” for the kids. These performances promote principles like character building, anti-bullying, anti-drugs, eating healthy, stranger danger…etc.

The job of the substitute teacher at these events is usually to sit on a hard metal folding chair at the side and look menacingly in the direction of anyone who is overly disruptive to others around him/her.

Every once in a while the “audience participation”, especially in the lower grades, will surprise the teachers and the actors with an unexpected response to the performance.

So it was, during a last minute switch of class assignments to 6th grade last week and no lesson plan, that the principal instructed me to take the class to the morning PTA assembly for the lower grades. His reasoning was that it would allow me 45mins to review the daily lesson plan he’d be obtaining shortly.

“Just have them sit in the back, behind the 3rd graders.”

The male and female acting duo were presenting the “Arthurian Legend” incorporating the British characters and legends of Merlin, Arthur, Morgana, Sword in the Stone, Templar Knights, the Holy Grail and who knows what else…

I was going over the lesson plan with only partial attention to the stage.

By the sounds of laughter from the audience, the young kids were having a great time with the story. A quick look over at my 6th graders revealed bored, mild attentiveness. Back to the plan!

A shout of “Stab her!!” interrupted my plan review.

On stage, the Templar knight with raised sword was standing over a cowering figure of the witch Morgana .

A second later, the teachers on the other side of the room suddenly came to life as two 2nd graders were on their feet, fist pumping in the air and chanting “Kill her, Kill her…” while other 2nd graders were trying to pull the pair back down into a seated position.

The teachers moved into the crowd and restored order. The play resumed with the “witch problem” taken care of “non-fatally”.

The 6th graders, previously bored to tears, were now highly entertained by the excitement.

If “kid mob” mayhem is what excites 6th graders today, maybe I could suggest the book: “Lord of the Flies” for this group?…

Being Flexible…

Friday was the last day of a three day, pre-arranged assignment for a teacher I really like in a class I really like. The first two days it was actually fun to be there. The teacher had laid out detailed plans with books and materials logically arranged. Since I was to be there for three consecutive days, I even had the advantage of reviewing the next day’s plan before I left the classroom.

Friday, I arrived for my last day of this assignment to a school office in chaos. Thirty percent (10) of the teachers were out and they were scrambling to find subs to fill the last minute sick calls. I was SO glad I already had a class that I knew I was prepared for, a class I knew I wouldn’t have any problems with and that was “fun” to be with.

That was before the principal tracked me down while I was on morning yard duty.

“We’re having problems lining up enough subs for all the teachers that are out today. I’m trying to shift people around and I need you to sub for Ms. N in 6th today. I’ll cover your 5th grade class for the first hour until the sub I lined up for your class gets here.”

My questioning look must have conveyed my wounded confusion.

If you have a sub coming in an hour late and you are going to cover the first hour why does that involve me moving from a great 5th grade class to a 6th grade class where I know there are no plans, is a class known to be the same or worse than the one I previously described as the “day I quit” while she gets MY primo class?

As explained by prince, this sub normally only works K-3rd graders and was reluctant to agree to work with 6th graders. In desperation the prince promised he’d arrange it so she would not have to deal with “big scary kids”.

His solution was to give ME the “big scary kids” and hand over my fun class because: “You’re a guy and I know you can handle them”. As it turned out “handle” is a synonym for “survive”.

Sometimes it doesn’t pay to be flexible…

Update: 03/31/2010

I was at the school and met with the teacher of my aborted three day assignment. She related that the Friday I was switched to 6th, her kids had the school psychologist for the first part of the morning, a sub for the rest of the morning and a different sub for the afternoon! She described her kids’ reactions of that day as “disorienting” at best.

In reality, I thought the school psychologist should have taken my 6th graders for the whole day. She probably could have written a couple of books on “abhorrent childhood behavior” from that one experience alone.

The Day I Quit…

It happened to me last week in a 6th grade class. I’ve worked with this class before when they were 4th and 5th graders. Nothing has changed. If anything it’s gotten even worse.

This class behaves as if every school day is a party day. That’s not to say that everyone in the class behaves this way, but when a good 80% of the class is in full time party mode, the other 20% disappear in the chaos.

After several attempts to get them into the mysteries of bar graphs and histograms for the math lesson, I gave up.

“I see we aren’t going to get much done today so…the text book page for today’s Math is on page 221. Read it yourself and figure it out on your own. The homework assignment is on the board. If anyone has any questions, you can come to the back of the room where I’ll help those who are motivated to do so. I’ll let your teacher know that she’ll probably have to repeat this lesson tomorrow since it isn’t happening today.”

With that, I went back to the teacher’s desk in the back of the room and sat down…waiting to see what affect that had on the class. None!

Not one student came to the back for questions or help. In detailing the events of the day for the teacher to review, I included a note that she would probably have to redo most of the day’s lessons.

“Sorry I couldn’t do a better job for you” was my closing line on the end of day report.

I met the teacher in the teacher’s lounge a couple of days later. She apologized to me for her class and said they are like that for her also and it’s not just an act they put on for subs.

In asking why the school hasn’t tried to break up this group into different classes, she told me that ALL the 6th grade classes are like hers if not worse.

At least I can take a day off after an experience like that. The teacher isn’t so fortunate.

Flemmy Loogies

I worked only two half-day assignments this week. Took myself off the sub list for today to go out and find me some drugs for the hacking-cough-flemmy-loogie thing that’s going around.

Several people I know have had it for a month or more. At Claudette's suggestion I tried Mucinex-D and seems to get me through the night and the next morning. I just hope it gets me through four subbing assignments starting Monday.

I would have taken myself off the list for the next week, but a teacher actually begged me to take her class for two days. She insisted they were a great class.

Wanting to say "no", I agreed figuring I'd still have the rest of the week off.

Then I get a call the next day at home from another teacher at the same school: "I know you're already subbing for Ms. F on Mon/Tues so can I have you for Wed/Thur?"

Now how is it going to look at this point if I already said "yes" to one and "no" to her friend?

So now I'm working MOST of next week and counting pills to see if I can make it through to next Friday.

I wonder how many boxes of the stuff I can buy before the government thinks I’m a PCP chemist?

Young Adults…

I intended to take the day off yesterday. After six straight classes of 5th grade children, I needed a break.

Anticipating a very long weekend until my next scheduled assignment on Wednesday, I declined calls on Friday, Saturday and Sunday to take classes for Monday and Tuesday mornings. After all, being around children constantly can drive a person a bit batty. Just ask any mother of 2 or more school age kids.

Then Sunday night I got a request to sub Monday at one of the three schools in the district I hate to turn down. I hesitate to turn them down because they don’t call that often. More importantly, the quality of student, in general, tends to be more…well…how should I politely say this?...”mature” is an apt description.

There you have it; I passed on several offers to substitute children in favor of one class of young adults the same age.

Now, if only some of the adults I have to interact with wouldn’t act like children most of the time, life would be good!!

Classroom Landmines…

Last week in 6th grade I triggered a “classroom landmine”.

This isn’t the first time I’ve set one off and I don’t really mean to cause explosive situations in the classroom. Teachers are reluctant to inform subs on the lesson plans where the landmines are or just what will set them off. The few times I’ve asked about why I wasn’t informed beforehand, I got the “student confidentially” excuse. As a direct consequence, I’m not ready for the weird reactions I get when I accidentally stumble across the trip wires that cause reactions like Art Guy & Barking Boy.

She was like any other kid in class. Not disruptive in any way. She did use, what seemed to me, an above average vocabulary and word phrasing for a 6th grader. I wasn’t aware that she was, in reality, a classroom landmine. It happened during shared reading time.

I would read a few paragraphs from the novel they were working through and then pick a random Popsicle stick with a name from the cup on the desk to continue the story. If the kid called hadn’t been following the story, it was immediately obvious. We’d all wait until his/her table mates pointed out the right page/paragraph to continue the story. They learn quickly to follow along with the class. This keeps them on their toes to avoid being “not ready” if called.

Her name came up and the “deer caught in the headlights” look told me she hadn’t been reading along and didn’t know where to continue the story. Like several students before her she flustered a bit before her table-mates got her to the correct page and paragraph.

Then it hit.

Instead of starting to read, as others had, she started choking, making gulping noises and frantically pointing at her throat! I’m stunned. I start to panic: "OMG, The kid’s gonna choke and die right here in the classroom!"

The kids see my panicked look and one of the girls at her table informs me: “Oh! She does that when she doesn’t want to read out loud. It happens all the time”. I tell her: “It’s ok, she doesn’t have to read. We’ll just pick someone else.”

As I carefully put her Popsicle stick on the table while picking another Popsicle stick from the cup, “landmine girl” shouts: “No, no, I can read, I can!” Before I can respond she starts reading the next paragraphs so fast that I can’t understand her. I think she finished the chapter we were reading but since I only caught every third or fourth word, I’m sure the rest of the class heard just a blur.

I commended “landmine girl” for reading but I explain that most of the class probably didn’t read as fast so I suggested we re-read the section just to make sure everyone understood the storyline.

As I start to re-read the chapter, “landmine girl” complains bitterly that: “I already that part” and continues with the same complaint as the rest of the class is called one at a time to participate.

I detailed the incident on the end of day status report I leave for the teacher hoping that I handled the situation as best I could and gently suggesting that a little warning would have been helpful.

Classroom tip of the day: Watch your step!!

Odds & Ends

I was informed by one of my loyal readers that it’s been more than two weeks since I’ve written anything related to actual school stuff. I was told that posting videos and math problems don’t count.

So, Gary…from the “Odd things I noticed while at school” diary these last couple of weeks:

3rd grade: Be sure to remove the headphones plug from the cassette player to make the speakers play. I should have tested the player before school instead of the instant I needed it at the start of the reading lesson.

4th grade: Assigned nicknames for a different pair of tattlers – “Toe Jam” and “Arm Pit”

4th&6th grades: Subbed two classes at two different schools in a single day. The 6th graders were better behaved.

The teachers were required to observe each other in their respective classrooms for some kind of teacher evaluation process. I got paid for a single full day instead of two half days which would have paid more.

5th grade: First time I’ve ever seen two sign in sheets for substitute teachers in the office. Twenty out of twenty-seven teachers out in a single day!

1st grade: Dealing with the little Khan man again. I see a little improvement. At least he isn’t pretending not to know English any more.

Inclement Day Session...

I’ve heard rumors about some areas of the country where they cancel school due to heavy snow and impassable roads. I say rumors because I’ve never experienced one. Here, in Silicone Valley California, we rarely get snow. The couple of times in the last 40 years when it actually did snow on the valley floor, it was gone in a few hours. We do have the occasional “rainy day” session where recess and or lunch is held in the classroom but in reality, the weather here rarely interferes with school activities.

That’s why I was surprised yesterday by the office noon time announcement that due to the “cold windy conditions”, teachers should decide if they want to allow the kids to eat lunch in the classroom as there wasn’t room in the cafeteria to eat indoors. Half the cafeteria had been taken over by the Halloween Haunted House they were running this week. I stepped outside to see what “cold windy conditions” the principal was talking about.

The classroom is situated near a small curved stadium like seating area outside the classroom door. It’s in bright sunshine and must have been in the mid 60’s with just a bit of a breeze reaching the bottom steps of the protected seating area.

Eat inside because of rain, falling snow, raging floods, freezing temperatures or even typhoon force winds, I might relent. But, a little bit of Calif breeze? No way!

“But it’s so COLD!!” says the kid standing in front of me dressed in T-shirt, shorts and shoes without socks as I’m locking the classroom door.

“Remember this moment when you get dressed for school tomorrow morning”, was my reply as I lead them off to get lunch.

Coming back to the classroom after lunch, I see that the door to the classroom is wide open and no one around. Evidentially, someone had talked the janitor into unlocking classroom door to allow some kids to eat inside. I don’t know if there was any adult supervision while I was away, but no one closed the door after they left.

Fortunately, the teacher’s laptop computer, portable document camera and, more importantly, my personal subbing bag looked to be unmolested.

I see that it isn’t just kids who seem to be lacking some common sense.