We’re in the last week of the 2009/10 school year and getting ready for the summer break. You may or may not have noticed but I haven’t written anything for the last couple weeks. That’s because I took a break from the blog and school to vacation ten days in Hawaii. Substitute teachers can do that with a simple call to enter a “period of unavailability” at any time for any reason.
The reason to vacation two weeks early was intended to beat the airlines at their own “un-fare” game. Claudette and I booked our flights to Hawaii before the predictable increase in air fares when the real teachers go on vacation.
The plan was working perfectly until we encountered a different kind of unexpected “break”.
Claudette fell off one of her “really cute new shoes” and broke her foot entering the hotel the day we arrived on Kauai. We still had a great time except for the “urgent care” facility visit.
Rotten break!
Showing posts with label break. Show all posts
Showing posts with label break. Show all posts
Friday, June 04, 2010
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Pre-Teen Tattle Tales…
G6
If there’s anything worse than Kindergarten tattlers, it’s got to be tattling 6th graders. The group I had today was infested with them.
All day I heard:
“Can you tell him/her to stop bugging me?…”
“She said…”
"He said…”
“She did…”
“He did…”
Stud: Can you go tell Monica to stop telling rumors that I “like” her?
Me: Why?
Stud: Because it’s not true!
Me: …and this is causing problems how?
Stud: Because my girl friend believes it and is mad at me now!
Me: How old are you?
Stud: “Twelve”, he replies with a smirkin’ grin.
(…insert my long, astonished look here…)
Me: Oh, just go away…
Boy, am I glad it’s a minimum day and the start of Spring break week...
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Spring Get Away Friday …
I know, I know, it’s all been re-PCified to call it “Spring break”, “Spring Bunny”, and “just Friday before Spring break” But, that’s neither here nor there.
One of the unintended perks of substitute teaching is the extended break surrounding the official breaks during the year.
Understandably, the days before and after the actual break are usually pretty bleak for subbing assignments.
There’s probably something in the union contract about requiring a Dr’s note if a teacher calls in sick the day before or after a scheduled school break. I don’t really know but the slowdown of calls around the break week is noticeable.
This means that I have only one day of work this week lined up for tomorrow. I don’t expect to have an assignment on the Thursday before “Good Friday”.
…or as it’s now known, “Spring Get Away Friday”.
Late afternoon update: “…I don’t expect to have an assignment on Thursday…”
Two teachers called me this afternoon to sub for them on Thursday so I guess that blows THAT theory.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
What a great weekend...
Finally a break from the cold rain here in N. California.
We went for a long walk in the hills behind where we live and it's looking a lot like spring!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Turkey Anatomy Search …
So greetings to all you culinary aficionados from such far flung places as:
- Nordrhein-westfalen,
- Hessen,
- Maribor, Slovenia
- Saudi Arabia
- Delhi, India
- Kenya
I hope that using the Google search engine for the key words: “turkey boobs” enabled you to cook and enjoy a traditional American Thanksgiving holiday meal.
If that’s not what you were looking for…sorry weirdo!
Friday, December 22, 2006
Hyper For The Holidays …
EG13-G5
The phone is ringing at
But what the hell, this is a different school and a different grade. Maybe it won’t be so bad. As it turned out, it was a short, short assignment for a full payday.
Once you subtract the 15min school tour of decorated doors, the 40mins where the art prep teacher takes over the class, the 35min lunch, the 40min movie, the 20min recess and the minimum day dismissal at 01:15pm, the actual classroom instruction time works out to about 2 hours.
…AND NO PARTY!!
The kids were hyper for the holidays but still trying not to rate a mention on Santa’s naughty list. All in all, it was a fun, successful afternoon.
Maybe that’s why when the office called at lunch time; I agreed to sub for a class of left behinders four days this February while the rest of the school is off at science camp. If I was wrong about all “last day” assignments, maybe the “left behinder” assignment won’t be too traumatic.
Right?...right?...a little help here…
Monday, December 18, 2006
Pushing My Buttons…
EG7-G4
We returned home last night to five missed calls for subbing jobs for Monday so I wasn’t surprised with this mornings call for a half day afternoon 4th grade assignment. It seems this last week before the Christmas break is a busy time for substitutes.
Lesson plan is minimal and easy.
1. Go over answers to the math exercise they were doing when I arrived.
2. Lunch (40 mins)
3. Make sure they pay attention while Parent/Volunteer reader reads the story.
4. Cursive writing exercise (20mins)
5. Social studies – 6 pages
6. Clean up, Pack up and Go home.
Total class time 2.5 hours! This should be an easy day!
It’s such a short amount of time that any one student shouldn’t have had enough time to find that button that really ticks me off.
This kid has NO impulse control. Whatever thought sails through his head detours out the mouth, hands or feet. Sometimes all three at the same time! Constantly!
Hopefully my report to his teacher will allow me to have the last shot as he spends 20min of recess time on the bench tomorrow.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Inactive Status...
I was complaining earlier this year about the “Silence of the Calls” situation with both of the school districts I’m signed up with. No assignments for almost all of January and several weeks with only one or two calls. Then things started picking up with my favored district.
I let the other district slide, but still wondered why there were absolutely NO call assignments at all for the last four months. Am I on somebody’s s--- list over there? Did the district office discover this blog and not like some entries? (The letter post was about a school in this district).
With today being the last day of EASTER break and some time on my hands, I went to the district office to find out what’s what. To my surprise they had me and about 400 other subs on the “inactive/restricted status” list.
It seems that they installed a new computer that invalidated all our “California Emergency Substitute Teaching Permits” status. They’re working on the problem. I’m now wondering when they discovered the problem and how long they have been working to fix it. Three months? Nahhh….
The substitute coordinator re-checked all my credentials and “reinstated” my status as a substitute in good standing. Sure enough, by the time I returned home, the substitute system called with a couple of jobs for me.
Ahh! The wonders of technology! Good luck to the other 399 subs out there!!
I let the other district slide, but still wondered why there were absolutely NO call assignments at all for the last four months. Am I on somebody’s s--- list over there? Did the district office discover this blog and not like some entries? (The letter post was about a school in this district).
With today being the last day of EASTER break and some time on my hands, I went to the district office to find out what’s what. To my surprise they had me and about 400 other subs on the “inactive/restricted status” list.
It seems that they installed a new computer that invalidated all our “California Emergency Substitute Teaching Permits” status. They’re working on the problem. I’m now wondering when they discovered the problem and how long they have been working to fix it. Three months? Nahhh….
The substitute coordinator re-checked all my credentials and “reinstated” my status as a substitute in good standing. Sure enough, by the time I returned home, the substitute system called with a couple of jobs for me.
Ahh! The wonders of technology! Good luck to the other 399 subs out there!!
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
They All Look Alike...
The schools are out for Easter break (Yea, yea….I know it’s officially “Spring Break” but I don’t have to be all PC, do I?).
Life is good if I can forget that yesterday I depleted the bank accounts to send it all to the state and federal governments to waste on more government pork. No school means no pay this week. It also means no interesting classroom observations and/or shenanigans to relate here.
Or so I thought…
Warm spring weather has finally arrived. I took a walk down to the neighborhood McLibrary to satisfy my diet coke habit for an hour or so and read the latest techno thriller that Tom Clancy takes credit for but didn’t actually write.
I’m settled in, inhaling my fourth free refill, catching up on the latest plotline of the “Netforce” when I’m distracted by a couple of boys across the restaurant pointing, waving and calling out “Hi! Mr. Homework!!”
While they do look familiar, I haven’t a clue what their names are, what grade or even what school they are from.
I’ve been “sighted” out of class by random students. I respond with a friendly wave and a generic “Hi guys!” response.
Sad but true but out of the classroom context they all look alike to me…
Life is good if I can forget that yesterday I depleted the bank accounts to send it all to the state and federal governments to waste on more government pork. No school means no pay this week. It also means no interesting classroom observations and/or shenanigans to relate here.
Or so I thought…
Warm spring weather has finally arrived. I took a walk down to the neighborhood McLibrary to satisfy my diet coke habit for an hour or so and read the latest techno thriller that Tom Clancy takes credit for but didn’t actually write.
I’m settled in, inhaling my fourth free refill, catching up on the latest plotline of the “Netforce” when I’m distracted by a couple of boys across the restaurant pointing, waving and calling out “Hi! Mr. Homework!!”
While they do look familiar, I haven’t a clue what their names are, what grade or even what school they are from.
I’ve been “sighted” out of class by random students. I respond with a friendly wave and a generic “Hi guys!” response.
Sad but true but out of the classroom context they all look alike to me…
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Kindergarten Caught!...
E3-G6
This is the last school day for this sixth grade class before the Easter week break.
It’s pretty much a “do nothing” day as evidenced by the major items on the lesson plan.
It’s the kind of day that doesn’t provide much in the way of interesting BLOG material to share until….
Toward the end of the day a messenger arrives with citations issued to two of the boys in my class. Citations are issued for anything from youthful school yard mayhem all the way down to chewing gum on campus.
My two sixth grade clowns were caught stealing “Easter eggs” from the Kindergarteners Easter egg hunt.
Me: “Well guys, any comments?”
Egg thieves: “No….”
Me: “Do you think your teacher is going to be disappointed about this?”
Egg thieves: “Yes….”
Me: “Do you think your parents are going to be disappointed about this?”
Egg thief #1: “Yes…”
Egg thief #2: “I dunno…”
That last response stunned me more than the actual crime!
I related this exchange to another sixth grade teacher. He said that what he knows of the second kids’ parents, he wasn’t surprised…
This is the last school day for this sixth grade class before the Easter week break.
It’s pretty much a “do nothing” day as evidenced by the major items on the lesson plan.
- Silent Reading
- P.E.
- Watching the movie “Finding Nemo” for their science lesson about sea life.
- Extra recess at the end of the day
It’s the kind of day that doesn’t provide much in the way of interesting BLOG material to share until….
Toward the end of the day a messenger arrives with citations issued to two of the boys in my class. Citations are issued for anything from youthful school yard mayhem all the way down to chewing gum on campus.
My two sixth grade clowns were caught stealing “Easter eggs” from the Kindergarteners Easter egg hunt.
Me: “Well guys, any comments?”
Egg thieves: “No….”
Me: “Do you think your teacher is going to be disappointed about this?”
Egg thieves: “Yes….”
Me: “Do you think your parents are going to be disappointed about this?”
Egg thief #1: “Yes…”
Egg thief #2: “I dunno…”
That last response stunned me more than the actual crime!
I related this exchange to another sixth grade teacher. He said that what he knows of the second kids’ parents, he wasn’t surprised…
Monday, April 10, 2006
Might Be Measles!...
E3-G5
With today’s class, I now have subbed in all the of the 5th grade classrooms in this school.
Spring break starts next week but you wouldn’t know it by the weather. It’s mid-April and it’s STILL raining here in Calif. Today is no exception.
Expecting another rainy day session indoors, I was glad to see a break in the cloud layer just as I took the class to the cafeteria for lunch. The kids were finally going to get outdoors to let some of that pent up energy dissipate.
Toward the end of MY lunch, the school PA system makes an general announcement to “…ALL teachers please return to class. Recess cancelled due to rain!”
I opened the door to the teachers lounge and see that is, indeed, raining. Not just normal rain, rain. All I see is tons and tons of unending, waving sheets of HARD RAIN and HAIL.
My classroom is in the outer most building…on the end…facing away from the main buildings.
I will have to travel the longest route possible from the teachers lounge to my classroom. There is no covered walkway to reach my classroom. I have no umbrella or rain gear. I have the only key to the locked classroom in my pocket.
…Damn…
By the time I arrive, I’m soaked. Thirty kids huddled in front of the door are soaked, cold and getting soggier.
Trying to restore some sort of order is impossible. Several kids don’t want to “sit” because “everything’s” wet. I turn up the heat in the classroom and after a while there is a distinct odor of wet animal in the air.
While I’m squishing back and forth in my shoes wondering how I’m supposed to restore some sort of classroom order, one girl starts complaining to me about another girl making fun of the rash on her arms.
I take a look from a distance. Both her arms are dotted with pin prick sized red dots. I asked her about the rash and how long she’s had it. She said she has had it for a couple of days and it is a reaction to a medication she is taking.
Relieved, that she seems to have been diagnosed, I give the other girl a “knock it off” look and take a step to return to the front of the room.
That’s when “rash girl” says with a grin: ”…or it might be some kind of measles.”
Lord save me from wet, smelly, diseased 5th graders.
With today’s class, I now have subbed in all the of the 5th grade classrooms in this school.
Spring break starts next week but you wouldn’t know it by the weather. It’s mid-April and it’s STILL raining here in Calif. Today is no exception.
Expecting another rainy day session indoors, I was glad to see a break in the cloud layer just as I took the class to the cafeteria for lunch. The kids were finally going to get outdoors to let some of that pent up energy dissipate.
Toward the end of MY lunch, the school PA system makes an general announcement to “…ALL teachers please return to class. Recess cancelled due to rain!”
I opened the door to the teachers lounge and see that is, indeed, raining. Not just normal rain, rain. All I see is tons and tons of unending, waving sheets of HARD RAIN and HAIL.
My classroom is in the outer most building…on the end…facing away from the main buildings.
I will have to travel the longest route possible from the teachers lounge to my classroom. There is no covered walkway to reach my classroom. I have no umbrella or rain gear. I have the only key to the locked classroom in my pocket.
…Damn…
By the time I arrive, I’m soaked. Thirty kids huddled in front of the door are soaked, cold and getting soggier.
Trying to restore some sort of order is impossible. Several kids don’t want to “sit” because “everything’s” wet. I turn up the heat in the classroom and after a while there is a distinct odor of wet animal in the air.
While I’m squishing back and forth in my shoes wondering how I’m supposed to restore some sort of classroom order, one girl starts complaining to me about another girl making fun of the rash on her arms.
I take a look from a distance. Both her arms are dotted with pin prick sized red dots. I asked her about the rash and how long she’s had it. She said she has had it for a couple of days and it is a reaction to a medication she is taking.
Relieved, that she seems to have been diagnosed, I give the other girl a “knock it off” look and take a step to return to the front of the room.
That’s when “rash girl” says with a grin: ”…or it might be some kind of measles.”
Lord save me from wet, smelly, diseased 5th graders.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Second Graders Can Be So.......Childish!
E16-G2
Finally! After a one week Presidents Day break and two idle weeks, I was able to pick up 2nd grade assignment.
The lesson for the last class I had before this one had a section about making the “right choices” when it came to nutrition. I guess the schools are getting the kids ready for the big change over to no more junk food in school.
We had been reading a story about a family and their breakfast habits, doing a work sheet on differentiating the “good” from the “bad” stuff.
“Can anyone tell me why what we eat for breakfast is important?”
-- no hands and silence ---
“A good breakfast provides you the energy you need so you are alert and won’t poop out before lunch!”
As soon as that “p” word left my mouth, I mentally tried to snatch it back but it was too late. It was out there and the kids must have HAD that good breakfast because they were all alert enough to catch it.
Yep, the substitute teacher said the word “poop” in class and they were ALL animated with giggles and comments.
I then had to spend a few minutes explaining that **THE PHRASE** simply meant “tired out”.
Talk about “wrong choices”… Yeeessh!
So with today’s second grade class, I was paranoid (Was my three week suspension, punishment for the “poop” incident?) and on the lookout to avoid more verbal poop.
Part of today’s lesson was presenting some of the science projects the kids were making. One of the projects was on “Our Solar System” and I immediately spotted a potential verbal #2.
The planet Uranus!
Not sure what words seven year olds are familiar with, I read the description replacing the planet “Your-anus” with “Your-in-us” without a hint of their poopie, bad word, recognition radar getting a fix.
It was at the end of the presentation, during a short Q&A time when I posed the following:
“Now, which planets you can see with the naked eye?”
Second graders can be SO childish….
Finally! After a one week Presidents Day break and two idle weeks, I was able to pick up 2nd grade assignment.
The lesson for the last class I had before this one had a section about making the “right choices” when it came to nutrition. I guess the schools are getting the kids ready for the big change over to no more junk food in school.
We had been reading a story about a family and their breakfast habits, doing a work sheet on differentiating the “good” from the “bad” stuff.
“Can anyone tell me why what we eat for breakfast is important?”
-- no hands and silence ---
“A good breakfast provides you the energy you need so you are alert and won’t poop out before lunch!”
As soon as that “p” word left my mouth, I mentally tried to snatch it back but it was too late. It was out there and the kids must have HAD that good breakfast because they were all alert enough to catch it.
Yep, the substitute teacher said the word “poop” in class and they were ALL animated with giggles and comments.
I then had to spend a few minutes explaining that **THE PHRASE** simply meant “tired out”.
Talk about “wrong choices”… Yeeessh!
So with today’s second grade class, I was paranoid (Was my three week suspension, punishment for the “poop” incident?) and on the lookout to avoid more verbal poop.
Part of today’s lesson was presenting some of the science projects the kids were making. One of the projects was on “Our Solar System” and I immediately spotted a potential verbal #2.
The planet Uranus!
Not sure what words seven year olds are familiar with, I read the description replacing the planet “Your-anus” with “Your-in-us” without a hint of their poopie, bad word, recognition radar getting a fix.
It was at the end of the presentation, during a short Q&A time when I posed the following:
“Now, which planets you can see with the naked eye?”
Second graders can be SO childish….
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Where’s the Common Sense (Bi-Partisan Rant)?...
No subbing assignments since last weeks winter break so there’s plenty of time to visit the funny pages, and I don’t mean the comics, in the local paper.
From today's MurkyNews: High Hopes For Tech Agenda
“..Republicans and Democrats are competing furiously to be the party of U.S. global competitiveness, and Silicon Valley's high-tech industry couldn't be happier…”
“…President Bush proposed his own 10-year, $136 billion American Competitiveness Initiative'' last month to respond to the economic challenge from India and China. With both parties practically tripping over themselves to back legislation to increase federal basic research funding, extend a research tax credit for high-tech companies and improve math and science education…”
"...But Democrats were quick to respond. They criticized Republicans for not including increased broadband access, patent reform and more visas for high-skilled foreign workers in their competitiveness agenda..."
Haven’t these clowns (BOTH Democrat and Republican politicians) figured out that our “competitiveness” isn’t due to the lack of skill in science and math, but the willingness and ability of foreign workers to do the job for less? This is simply supply and demand economics on a global scale.
Even if $136 billion somehow successfully churned out an ample supply of eager math and science wiz kids, would they be employable if the global going rate for their services is only $25K a year?
Why don’t we just put the entire country up for bid on eBay and be done with it.
From today's MurkyNews: High Hopes For Tech Agenda
“..Republicans and Democrats are competing furiously to be the party of U.S. global competitiveness, and Silicon Valley's high-tech industry couldn't be happier…”
“…President Bush proposed his own 10-year, $136 billion American Competitiveness Initiative'' last month to respond to the economic challenge from India and China. With both parties practically tripping over themselves to back legislation to increase federal basic research funding, extend a research tax credit for high-tech companies and improve math and science education…”
"...But Democrats were quick to respond. They criticized Republicans for not including increased broadband access, patent reform and more visas for high-skilled foreign workers in their competitiveness agenda..."
Haven’t these clowns (BOTH Democrat and Republican politicians) figured out that our “competitiveness” isn’t due to the lack of skill in science and math, but the willingness and ability of foreign workers to do the job for less? This is simply supply and demand economics on a global scale.
Even if $136 billion somehow successfully churned out an ample supply of eager math and science wiz kids, would they be employable if the global going rate for their services is only $25K a year?
Why don’t we just put the entire country up for bid on eBay and be done with it.
Friday, February 17, 2006
What's the Opposite of No Lesson Plan?...
EG16-G3
What’s the opposite of “no lesson plan”? How about too many plans?
I’m back at the country club school in a different 3rd grade class, I picked up the class folder at the office to find a set of “extra lesson plans!” inserted.
In the class room there are instructions to locate the file box with not one but two large lettered signs labeled: “Canned Substitute Lesson Plans!” The box contains an entire year of pre-canned plans to use. Instructions were simply locate the current week/day number and go for it.
After I located the week #7 set, I wasn’t too happy since they were pretty vague about where I was to find the materials and books referenced.
It was then that I spotted a table in the back of the room with a large sign labeled: “Substitute Teachers Desk!” where there was a personal note from the teacher and yet a different lesson plan for today.
This is the one I was what I was expecting, so we returned the “canned set” to its’ proper file and started our day.
This was, once again, the easy day with a good group of kids.
The schools are out this next week for winter break, so I’ll have more time for the eBay auction business.
What’s the opposite of “no lesson plan”? How about too many plans?
I’m back at the country club school in a different 3rd grade class, I picked up the class folder at the office to find a set of “extra lesson plans!” inserted.
In the class room there are instructions to locate the file box with not one but two large lettered signs labeled: “Canned Substitute Lesson Plans!” The box contains an entire year of pre-canned plans to use. Instructions were simply locate the current week/day number and go for it.
After I located the week #7 set, I wasn’t too happy since they were pretty vague about where I was to find the materials and books referenced.
It was then that I spotted a table in the back of the room with a large sign labeled: “Substitute Teachers Desk!” where there was a personal note from the teacher and yet a different lesson plan for today.
This is the one I was what I was expecting, so we returned the “canned set” to its’ proper file and started our day.
This was, once again, the easy day with a good group of kids.
The schools are out this next week for winter break, so I’ll have more time for the eBay auction business.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)