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Monday, May 22, 2006

Compare & Contrast...

Last Friday and today, I had two consecutive 4th grade classes. Different schools in different districts. The following are a few observations.

See if you can group the observations to my school of preference:

Class size: 29 kids

Class size: 35 kids

No whiteboard space left to use as it is plastered with “Genealogy of the entire Donner Party

The kids had an assembly featuring a “Rain Forest Musical” featuring native made musical instruments followed by an offer to sell the CD ($15/ea) or Tape ($9/ea). No successful sale to any 4th grader was observed.

At recess time some of kids ask me: “Can you come out and play with us?”

Confiscated student comic drawing during class featuring a guy asking “Who wants a blow job?” and also provides the following: “def: sucks balls and dicks as a hobby.”

This schools PTA holds an annual “Black Tie Formal” affair to auction off donated items bringing +$100k/year to the school. You can name your own street for the year if you have the highest bid.

Teachers lounge has free chips, salsa, jumbo burritos and sodas for the teachers (and me!)

Staff lounge has NO vending machines of any kind. I was informed that having a soft drink anywhere in school in the district is illegal. Funny, all the other elementary schools that I’ve been to in this district HAVE at least a soda machine in the staff lounge.

Teacher lunch - $3.25: One pizza slice measuring EXACTLY 6”x6” with EXACTLY three pepperoni slices, 4floz carton of apple juice. I didn’t even know juice cartons that small existed!

I encountered “Smencils” in class. These are smelly pencils that come in a variety of odors. Most of the kids had at least two each.
Flavor list: Root Beer, Chocolate Milk, Cherry, Hazelnut Latte, Orange, Peppermint, Cinnamon, Cookie Dough, Grape and Bubble Gum.

Teacher in the staff lounge indicates there is a demand for private one-on-one tutors by parents at this school. Rate is $50-$120 per hour.

I need a code and my own paper to operate the copier.

I can make as many copies as I want.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the Smencil shoutout! I've never heard of them before, but I checked the site and they look like a cool product. I may order some one day and hand them out as rewards.