Answer the question!

...if there is one

Longest question ever for McCain

Who's the Substitute?

Pro-Choice in Education..

But not the way you're thinking. It seems that "choice" is only good when it doesn't threaten the public unions. Click the link to the full Wall Street Journal story.

From the WSJ: Putting the Children Last
June 11,2008

"...Democrats in Congress have finally found a federal program they want to eliminate. And wouldn't you know, it's one that actually works and helps thousands of poor children.

...We're speaking of the four-year-old Washington, D.C. Opportunity Scholarship Program that provides vouchers to about 2,000 low-income children so they can attend religious or other private schools. The budget for the experimental program is $18 million, or about what the U.S. Department of Education spends every hour and a half.

...These are families in heavily Democratic neighborhoods. More than 80% of the recipients are black and most of the rest Hispanic. Their average income is about $23,000 a year. But the teachers unions have put out the word to Congress that they want all vouchers for private schools that compete with their monopoly system shut down...

...The reason unions want to shut the program down immediately isn't because they're afraid it will fail. They're afraid it will succeed, and show that there is a genuine alternative to the national scandal that are most inner-city public schools. That's why former D.C. Mayor Anthony Williams and current Mayor Adrian Fenty, both Democrats, support the program.

...Hopefully," says Mr. Chavis, "Congress will focus on the kids, not the politics here." Barack Obama might call that the audacity of hope, if he finally showed the nerve to break with the unions on at least one issue and support these poor D.C. students.

..."

Also check out Mark at Carpe Diem for comments about which "choices" Congress does and doesn't like.

I Thought I Was Done...

The last week of school is pretty much a “do nothing” week.

Field trips to the water park, Great America theme park and year end parties dominate the educational scene. There usually haven’t been many calls to substitute the last week in previous years. So I was surprised Monday afternoon by a call to sub for a 3^rd grade class on Tuesday.

The teacher’s additional note announced: “Tuesday is field day”.

Of course I took it. It’s one last “pay day” before the financial summer drought.

Dressed appropriately in jeans and running shoes, I ran soccer relay races for half a day in the warm (ie: low 90F’s) California sun followed by an afternoon in the air conditioned classroom watching: “Garfield the Movie”.

Now, I'm done...

Obama Won't Win...

---

...if it's up to the Clinton's

With school out and time on my hands, I thought I'd float my own conspiracy theory to see if it has potential.

Clinton wants to be president. She's not gonna get it this time. That's a fact.

The next best shot for Clinton is 2012, but not if Obama is an incumbent running for 2nd term.

I predict that Hillary&Bill will be working behind a facade of cooperation and support for Obama's to hopefully engineer his defeat without exposing their back door support for a McCain win in 2008.

Daily Double...

It’s Tuesday and the last day of this four day assignment in 5^th grade. It’s probably the last day of any subbing assignment for me this school year. The last day of school before summer is next Friday. No more pay checks until school starts again in September.

Not a whole lot for the kids to do today. It’s mostly busy work and they know it. Yet, it’s my job to hand it out and attempt to get them to do it. My real job today is attempting to minimize the noise levels and chaos that naturally erupts from boredom.

The only bright spot today was when I got a call from the office asking that someone send the backpacks for Mr. Attitude and Gang-ster to the office as they wouldn’t be returning to the classroom today. It seems that they were throwing gum at a yard duty person at lunch recess. At least that’s the explanation I got.

There’s probably more to the story but I felt like I had won the daily double at the track. My afternoon just got considerably more pleasant without these two.

Anti-Social Studies...

This is the third day (Monday) of my four day subbing assignment in this 5^th grade classroom.

The school district has a no tolerance policy about gang related dress, references, art or threats of any kind. Of course, the classroom wannabe gang-ster was violating just about everything in a one page notebook production instead of doing the social studies assignment this afternoon.

Note the irony here? Anti-social studies? Get it? Nah, he didn’t either.
I let the principal try and explain it to him that last hour of class.

Benched...

They say the most common fear for people is: “fear of public speaking”. Fear of the “unknown” is probably up near the top of many lists also.

As a substitute teacher without any experience or information as to what to expect, walking into a classroom facing 20-30 new faces can generate a bit of anxiety. When I decided to try substitute teaching after the layoff, I knew that I’d have to face both of these personal demons myself.

Curiously, my fear of public speaking is limited to the adult population while talking to kids comes easy. …One down, one to go.

In my previous professional career, I discovered a technique that worked to help overcome the “fear of the unknown”.

I’d gather as much information about what I was supposed to do, ask friends what they might know about the situation I was considering and then finally ask myself the following question: “What’s the worst thing that could possibly happen?”

If the answer didn’t involve death or major injury, financial bankruptcy, or losing the respect of family and friends, I felt good to go.

And so each time I accept an assignment in a new school or a class I haven’t had before, my answer to that question is: “I experience five classroom hours of total tortured chaos and then I go home.”

That I can live with!

Last Thursday was the start of a four day, 5^th grade assignment where the teacher’s lesson plan gave me the following information:

On the whiteboard was a list of names that made up 1/3 of the entire class and was marked “Benched!!” For what reasons, I didn’t know why the benchees were to have no recess that day but my anxiety level was spiking just imagining what I was in for with these kids.

When they arrived that morning, I dispensed with my usual easy going classroom attitude and went for the “no nonsense” approach to gain the upper hand. I let them know what their teacher said and that I’d follow through on all threats she had listed for them. At recess time, I read the bench list and told them they’d better behave.

The usual offense that earns sitting on the bench during recess is missing homework or a missed deadline for class work. The idea is to have the kids complete the work on the bench while the other kids are at play.

After a short break in the teachers lounge, I went to find my “benched kids” only to discover four of them missing. I asked the others where they were and they told me they were out playing football.

I collected names of all who were there and considered what punishment to mete out.

Back in the classroom, I waited until all the kids were seated and then calmly walked over to the names listed on the whiteboard and put check marks next to the four names that skipped out on me.

The classroom was dead silent when I turned around and asked each checked kid why they didn’t report as required. One claimed he did but the others ratted him out by saying that I had collected names of everyone on the bench. A second kid with attitude claimed that his name shouldn’t have been on the list in the first place and so it didn’t apply to him. The other two just said that they didn’t think I’d check.

In addition to the usual homework, I assigned the bench skippers to write a letter of explanation (200 words minimum) for their teacher as to why they skipped their benching. I told them that an action like this was not helping to get back “FIELD DAY” for the rest of the class. I also told them that they still owed me a bench day on Friday.

Friday morning I received the following letters of explanation from three of them. The fourth kid is going to spend Monday on the bench again.

Guess which one is from Mr. Attitude

What's that?

The phone is ringing at Oh-Five-Dark-Thirty Tuesday morning. I know it’s a subbing job. I’m not totally coherent that early in the morning. Add to that the sometimes bad audio quality of the SubFinder system audio and it could come across something like this:

Lyrics from: 'o fortuna' by carmina burana.

Back from the Beach...

Back from twelve days in Kaua'i, Hawaii...



...and not quite ready for that next four day tour in 5th grade starting Thursday.

On Vacation...

One of the best "perks?" of substitute teaching is the vacation time.

It's my time. I can take time off any time I feel the need. No permission needed, no arrangements needed for a someone to take my place. Just do it.

And so, until further notice...Aloha!!

Best Commencement Advice...EVER

Los Angeles Times Opinion - May 4, 2008
"Commencement advice you're unlikely to hear elsewhere"
By: P.J. O'Rourke
Excerpts...

Well, here you are at your college graduation. And I know what you're thinking: "Gimme the sheepskin and get me outta here!" But not so fast. First you have to listen to a commencement speech.

Don't moan. I'm not going to "pass the wisdom of one generation down to the next." I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom.

1. "Wealth"
Go out and make a bunch of money!

There's nothing the matter with honest moneymaking. Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. In a free society, with the rule of law and property rights, no one loses when someone else gets rich.

2. "Idealism"
Don't be an idealist!

Don't chain yourself to a redwood tree. Instead, be a corporate lawyer and make $500,000 a year. No matter how much you cheat the IRS, you'll still end up paying $100,000 in property, sales and excise taxes. That's $100,000 to schools, sewers, roads, firefighters and police. You'll be doing good for society. Does chaining yourself to a redwood tree do society $100,000 worth of good?

Idealists are also bullies. The idealist says, "I care more about the redwood trees than you do. I care so much I can't eat. I can't sleep. It broke up my marriage. And because I care more than you do, I'm a better person. And because I'm the better person, I have the right to boss you around."

3. "Politics"
Get politically uninvolved!

All politics stink. Even democracy stinks. Imagine if our clothes were selected by the majority of shoppers, which would be teenage girls. I'd be standing here with my bellybutton exposed. Imagine deciding the dinner menu by family secret ballot. I've got three kids and three dogs in my family. We'd be eating Froot Loops and rotten meat.

But the problem isn't politicians -- it's politics. Politics won't allow for the truth. And we can't blame the politicians for that. Imagine what even a little truth would sound like on today's campaign trail:

"No, I can't fix public education. The problem isn't the teachers unions or a lack of funding for salaries, vouchers or more computer equipment The problem is your kids!"

4. "Fairness"
Forget about fairness!

We all get confused about the contradictory messages that life and politics send. Some are rich while others are poor. We'd better close that 'income disparity gap.' It's not fair!"

Well, I am here to advocate for unfairness. I've got a 10-year-old at home. She's always saying, "That's not fair." When she says this, I say, "Honey, you're cute. That's not fair. Your family is pretty well off. That's not fair. You were born in America. That's not fair. Darling, you had better pray to God that things don't start getting fair for you."

5. "Religion"
Be a religious extremist!

So, avoid politics if you can. But if you absolutely cannot resist, read the Bible for political advice -- even if you're a Buddhist, atheist or whatever. Don't get me wrong, I am not one of those people who believes that God is involved in politics. On the contrary. Observe politics in this country. Observe politics around the world. Observe politics through history. Does it look like God's involved?

The Bible is very clear about one thing: Using politics to create fairness is a sin. Observe the Tenth Commandment. The first nine commandments concern theological principles and social law: Thou shalt not make graven images, steal, kill, et cetera. Fair enough. But then there's the tenth: "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's."

Here are God's basic rules about how we should live, a brief list of sacred obligations and solemn moral precepts. And, right at the end of it we read, "Don't envy your buddy because he has an ox or a donkey." Why did that make the top 10? Why would God, with just 10 things to tell Moses, include jealousy about livestock?

Well, think about how important this commandment is to a community, to a nation, to a democracy. If you want a mule, if you want a pot roast, if you want a cleaning lady, don't whine about what the people across the street have. Get rich and get your own.


(...and thanks to Carpe Diem for the find)

Real STAR Students!...

Last Friday I was at the same school, same grade level, but in a different 6th class…and a world of difference. These guys did their work, didn’t act up and made for an easy day.

Just for fun. See how long it takes you to complete the following worksheet:
(Click to enlarge)



All done? Did you double check your work? I hope so because there is one final question. Don't cheat and click until your work is done.

(Click the comments for it...)

EB - rare children's disease

I hadn't ever heard of this condition until my friend, Mike sent me this email to help get the word out. As a parent and grandparent, I can't imagine how I'd cope if I had a kid or grandkid with EB.

...
All,

Lorraine is a good friend of mine from my Lockheed days. She is the mother of Garrett who is featured in the video along with his Dr.

Please take a few minutes to watch this video. If you are so inclined, please feel free to make a donation. There is a link at the end of the clip for where to do so. Even if you can't make a contribution, please pass this along for others to see.

The more exposure for EB the better. One problem with EB is that the disease is so rare, it is hard to get funding for it. Things like cancer and Aids affect far more people, so the funding goes there. It makes sense when you look at the problem from a cost benefit analysis. However, when you have a child with a rare disease, you want a cure for that disease too.

Anyway, please watch the video and pass it along. I would appreciate it personally.

Mike...

For more information or to donate, click here: http://dermatology.stanford.edu/research/research.html

STAR Students?...

This is STAR (Standardized Testing and Reporting) week in all the local schools. This isn’t normally a busy week for substitute teaching assignments as teachers are in class drilling their students to perform well for this California mandated school rating exam.

I did manage a half day (actually just two hours) assignment as Kindergarten aide yesterday. As I’m about to leave, one of the 6th grade girls from last week’s class dropped in during recess time.

She’s been sentenced here for acting up in class today. I was little surprised because she wasn’t part of the gang that was giving me a hard time last week. When I expressed my surprise that she was here instead of “Miss Issippi” or some of the others, she confided that they were in trouble also but doing something else.

As I left the parking lot and rounded the corner bordering the grass fields, I saw the “New Beatles”, “Muppet Guy” and “Miss Issippi” dragging black plastic bags while picking up trash.

They saw me and called out. I waved back as I slowly drove by… with a big grin.

How’s It Goin’?...

The last day of this six day assignment has finally arrived! I’ve had enough. My goal today is just to “be standing” at the final bell.

Mid afternoon, the teacher I’m subbing for called me during class.

This is the first time in four years a teacher has ever called me during class. She wanted me to remind them about a project that’s due tomorrow. The project and its due date have been prominently posted on the white board every day since she’s been gone.

I turn from the phone and announce to the class that Ms. (teacher) is calling to say “Hi!...and a reminder about about the project due tomorrow!". I held the receiver out so the whole class could shout back their responses of greetings and happiness.

After class toned down, I returned to our private conversation to wish her congratulations on her wedding and indicated that the kids would be glad to see her back in class.

She then caught me off guard by asking: “How’s it going”? That’s a question like “How are you?”, “Having a nice day?” etc. It’s a normal question. The normal expected response is: “Fine”.

Me: “Uh….It’s going…”
Her: (Long pause) “It’s going?”
Me: “Yea….It’s going...”
Her: “Ok, then. Hope to see you the next time you’re in and we can talk. Bye!”

It was the most natural answer I could give her at this point with 32 kids within listening distance. I just couldn’t say: “Fine…”

I had already written five daily status reports detailing the planned lessons we did or didn’t accomplish, along with the various behavior problems of the last five days. The final report I left for her wasn’t any different. Under “behavior problems”, I just wrote: “--same --”.

I didn’t need to elaborate.

Shirts!...

Saw on the school yard this week:

• Third grade girl wearing a “Hooters Bar&Grill” shirt
• Boy with “408” gang shirt (area code 408 gang)
• Sixth grader with air brushed naked chick shirt under his sweat shirt. He was displaying it to his buds in my 6^th grade class

…only one more day, thank God!!

I Quit!...

…At least that’s how I felt at the end of this day. Two more days of this and I’m outta there!

Even after I booted "Miss Issipi" AND "Ernie" to the office for some alone time with the “Classroom Disruption” essay assignment, the rest didn’t take the hint.

Those two and six others pretty much were a constant disruption team. While I would have liked to, I can’t send 25% of the entire class to the office!

I’m taking Thursday off unless one of the country club schools call. I never have any problems like this over there.

The SubSeeToot Is Back!...

The teacher went off to get married and I’ve just completed the first half of this six day assignment in “The Beatles” 6^th grade class where “Beatle Paul” implored his teacher to not to have me “subseetoot” for her any more.

To review, “Beatles” are four of the worst boys in this class who just happened to be named George, Paul, John and something close to “Ringo”. It saves time and effort just to call out “Beatles! Knock it OFF!” every now and again.

Not much has changed with this class except that “Paul” seems to have gone off to tour solo in another class. “George” and “John” seemed to have “got religion” and crossed over from the dark side to be pretty decent kids. That just leaves just the remaining Beatle, “Ringo”, to deal with this week.

Unfortunately, Ringo seems to have started a new band with a new kid named after one of the puppets on “Sesame Street”. I’ll just call him “Ernie” for the purposes of confidential privacy. Ringo and Ernie are quite a pair. They spend all day goofing off and trying to compete with each other to see who can get me to lose my cool the fastest.

Today’s winner was Ringo.

I sent him off to the office with an essay assignment to complete in the principals office. With a knowing look in Ernie’s direction, the rest of the day went better. Not great, just better.

I found this essay on the internet so I can’t claim authorship but I did add the special instructions touch marked in “red” to make it a little bit more of a grammar exercise

...but mostly to make it take longer.

(Click to enlarge)

Carnival of Education-167

The Carnival of Education has set up it's tent at the Columbus Education Association. Admission is free but the popcorn is extra.