I’m in the last week of the current school year subbing in a 4th/5th combo class. I’m riding herd on 28 kids with no lessons being given. Indoor movies or outside field games dominate the lesson plans for this final week.
During one outside activity with three other classes, one 4th grader boy from a different class comes up and asks: “Do you know about girls?”
I’m pretty sure I misheard his request and asked him to repeat the question. I’m not sure why he’s asking me about this subject. Maybe I’m the oldest adult he knows at school and figures age wise, I might be the best source of “girl information”.
There are a lot of potentially problematic mine fields with a loaded question like that but until I know more…
K4: Do you know about girls?
Me: Uhhh. I know some things. What specifically do you want to know?
(If it’s what I think, he’s going to have to ask ‘Mom or Dad’ or wait till they cover that next year in health class.)
K4: About dancing…
Me: Ok, What about dancing?
K4: I’m supposed to dance with a girl.
Me: …and?
K4: Do you know how to ‘Tango’?
Me: Actually, no. Does your Mom know how to ‘Tango’?
K4: Yea, she does.
Me: I suggest you talk to Mom when you get home. I'm sure she'll help you out.
(Whew!)
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Water Park Field Trip…
Part of the motivation in writing this blog is to answer the question: “What’s it like being a substitute teacher?” Sometimes, it’s not actually teaching anything!
I worked on Monday to stay at school with the “left behinders” from two of the 4th grade classes. I had approximately twenty-five kids, while the rest of the 4th grade classes went on a field trip to the local water park for the day.
Status: Minimal inconsequential busy work. Boring day!
Yesterday, I subbed for the teacher of a 4th grade class from a different school on their field trip to the same water park. We walked to the park from the school and back with about 200 kids and six teachers. We didn’t get back until two hours after school let out.
Status: Longer workday. I sat in the shade reading a book, while the park personnel performed one lifeguard rescue, one vomit victim cleanup for our group. Relaxing day!
Next time I’m taking the swimsuit and getting wet.
I worked on Monday to stay at school with the “left behinders” from two of the 4th grade classes. I had approximately twenty-five kids, while the rest of the 4th grade classes went on a field trip to the local water park for the day.
Status: Minimal inconsequential busy work. Boring day!
Yesterday, I subbed for the teacher of a 4th grade class from a different school on their field trip to the same water park. We walked to the park from the school and back with about 200 kids and six teachers. We didn’t get back until two hours after school let out.
Status: Longer workday. I sat in the shade reading a book, while the park personnel performed one lifeguard rescue, one vomit victim cleanup for our group. Relaxing day!
Next time I’m taking the swimsuit and getting wet.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Snubbed Sub…
“You’d think that seniority would count for something…,” she said exiting the teachers lounge.
I didn’t know who she was when she came in, but she initiated the conversation by asking for whom I was subbing today. I replied, assuming that she was one of the teachers at the school. It never hurts to establish a presence in the teacher’s lounge that might lead to future assignments.
“It’s pretty tough getting assignments this time of year, isn’t it? I’ve only received a few calls all this month…,” she told me.
I agreed that in previous years, the assignments pretty much dried up the last two weeks of the school year, but this month and last was an exception for me. In fact, I told her, I’m subbing the last week of school in a 4th grade class and handing out their final report cards.
“What school district did you work for before retiring and subbing?”
When I disclosed that I hadn’t ever worked in the schools before, she seemed a bit surprised.
“How long have you been subbing since retirement?”
My reply that I had five school years subbing experience under my belt didn’t impress.
“I’ve been subbing for nine years now and even did some long term assignments for several months! You’d think that seniority would count for something...”
I was so dumbfounded by that remark that I didn’t say anything. My tape delayed brain kicked in as the door closed with a mentally conceited rejoinder: “Well, maybe I’m better at it than you! Na Na Na Na Na!!!!”
It was only on the drive home that a different reason came to mind. Maybe it’s not that I’m “better”, but I sure might be “cheaper” to hire than she is.
As a lowly “30-day Emergency Credentialed Substitute”, I am not allowed to work for any single teacher any more than 30 days in any single school year. That means I can’t work any long term assignments in excess of 30 days.
Her comment about long term subbing indicated that she holds an actual teaching credential. As such she most likely gets, as the rumor has it, a higher daily pay rate than I do for ALL subbing assignments.
All else being equal, which would a perpetually, funds-deficit school district prefer to hire for essentially the same job?
Yep, I win…(kinda)!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Sub for the Sub for the Sub…
G5
Subfinder, the automated substitute teacher system, described the assignment as a 5th grade class for “employee name not listed” so when I arrived at the school, I couldn’t answer the question: “Who are you here for?”
When I explained what details I wasn’t given, the office secretary looked it up and informed me that I was “the sub for the sub for the long term sub for Ms. Teacher”.
It seems that teacher was out on maternity leave for the rest of the year and her “long term” was out on a couple weeks vacation while HER sub was out today.
So they get me.
I knew it was going to be a long boring day when I saw the lesson plan:
Play Practice: Crowd control while the other 5th grade teachers conduct play practice.
Math: Strategy and probability. (Let them play card games.)
Silent Reading: 30 minutes
Social Studies: In groups of 2-3, select one of the "First Amendments to the Constitution" and make a poster illustrating what it means.
The Social Studies book did not have the actual wording of any of the Constitutional Amendments. Instead, the book had only a short summary version of each one. Most of the kids selected the amendment summary with the shortest description.
Writing: Write a formal letter to your teacher to about how this year in class has helped you succeed. (I’m not sure exactly which teacher they were supposed to write to.)
PE: Volleyball
The teachers have checked out for the year and so have the kids. In fact I’m already scheduled to work the whole last week, including the last day of school, before summer break.
Let the fun and games begin!
Subfinder, the automated substitute teacher system, described the assignment as a 5th grade class for “employee name not listed” so when I arrived at the school, I couldn’t answer the question: “Who are you here for?”
When I explained what details I wasn’t given, the office secretary looked it up and informed me that I was “the sub for the sub for the long term sub for Ms. Teacher”.
It seems that teacher was out on maternity leave for the rest of the year and her “long term” was out on a couple weeks vacation while HER sub was out today.
So they get me.
I knew it was going to be a long boring day when I saw the lesson plan:
Play Practice: Crowd control while the other 5th grade teachers conduct play practice.
Math: Strategy and probability. (Let them play card games.)
Silent Reading: 30 minutes
Social Studies: In groups of 2-3, select one of the "First Amendments to the Constitution" and make a poster illustrating what it means.
The Social Studies book did not have the actual wording of any of the Constitutional Amendments. Instead, the book had only a short summary version of each one. Most of the kids selected the amendment summary with the shortest description.
Writing: Write a formal letter to your teacher to about how this year in class has helped you succeed. (I’m not sure exactly which teacher they were supposed to write to.)
PE: Volleyball
The teachers have checked out for the year and so have the kids. In fact I’m already scheduled to work the whole last week, including the last day of school, before summer break.
Let the fun and games begin!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
STAR TEST 24…
Update: The API scores for all California schools have just been been posted. Even the one this post is based on...
I’ve signed nondisclosure agreements, submitted to security background checks and memorized codes used to access restricted facilities in my previous profession. It never occurred to me I would require anything approaching that level of security while subbing for 3rd graders.
When I was informed a few weeks ago that I would be giving the Standardized Testing and Reporting (STAR) tests for a 3rd grade class, I didn’t anticipate any big deal. I’ve handed out tests and monitored test taking with several classes before.
But, when the principal handed me a twenty page “excerpt” for the three sections of STAR tests I was to give over the five day assignment, I should have gotten a clue.
The first thing I had to sign was a nondisclosure agreement that said I wouldn’t reveal, copy, publish or disclose in any manner or method any of the test questions or answers.
I was required to maintain the integrity of the test booklets in my possession for fear that someone else might take one or copy it for what ever reason unknown.
I had to sign a daily check-in/check-out sheet for the latched booklet carrying case. I was required to count and verify the number test booklets twice daily make sure I had them all. I was required to monitor and record any instances of cheating during the test taking process.
It was almost like I was a the star character in my favorite TV show…
(My advance apologies to the writers and producers of “24”)
Tink….Tink…Tink..Tink.TinkTinkTink.Tin.Ti.TiT.t.t.t.t.t.t.
(--The following takes place between the hours of 08:00am and 10:50am--)
Agent ‘H’ (me): I’m the STU agent (Substitute Teacher Unit), code name “Homework” you sent for. I’m here to interrogate the suspects.
Security (Office) Secretary:
Sign in here for your secure room key and assignment folder. Your controller, code named “Principal”, will fill you in with all the details. I’ll let him know you’re here.
tink…tink…tink…tink
P: We had an advance team go in and sanitize the target area for you.
H: Yes, that should help. All those grammar rules posters and multiplication tables of secret data would be a deterrent to getting accurate intel from this group.
P: We’ve also set up isolation cells for each suspect. There is no possible way for any of the suspects to communicate with each other. The “privacy folders” are made of state of the art, sound suppressing cardboard!
tink…tink…tink…tink
H: What else we know about this group?
P: All we know at this point is that it is a terrorist cell of 28 individuals known as “The Third Graders”. We don’t know what kind of intelligence they have but we do know that they are reluctant to divulge any information at this point in time.
tink…tink…tink…tink
P: This canister contains restricted questions that we want answered. We have a time commitment to obtain those answers. We cannot fail! Do you understand? Are you sure you can do this job?
H: It might take some “enhanced interrogation” methods to get at the truth, but yes, I’m sure it can be done. A little water hoarding should help things along. No drink or bathroom breaks during the test usually gets to the truth.
H: If that doesn’t work, can I shoot a few in the knees?
P: Unfortunately, no. That would be against school policy.
tink…tink…tink…tink
I’ve signed nondisclosure agreements, submitted to security background checks and memorized codes used to access restricted facilities in my previous profession. It never occurred to me I would require anything approaching that level of security while subbing for 3rd graders.
When I was informed a few weeks ago that I would be giving the Standardized Testing and Reporting (STAR) tests for a 3rd grade class, I didn’t anticipate any big deal. I’ve handed out tests and monitored test taking with several classes before.
But, when the principal handed me a twenty page “excerpt” for the three sections of STAR tests I was to give over the five day assignment, I should have gotten a clue.
The first thing I had to sign was a nondisclosure agreement that said I wouldn’t reveal, copy, publish or disclose in any manner or method any of the test questions or answers.
I was required to maintain the integrity of the test booklets in my possession for fear that someone else might take one or copy it for what ever reason unknown.
I had to sign a daily check-in/check-out sheet for the latched booklet carrying case. I was required to count and verify the number test booklets twice daily make sure I had them all. I was required to monitor and record any instances of cheating during the test taking process.
It was almost like I was a the star character in my favorite TV show…
(My advance apologies to the writers and producers of “24”)
Tink….Tink…Tink..Tink.TinkTinkTink.Tin.Ti.TiT.t.t.t.t.t.t.
(--The following takes place between the hours of 08:00am and 10:50am--)
Agent ‘H’ (me): I’m the STU agent (Substitute Teacher Unit), code name “Homework” you sent for. I’m here to interrogate the suspects.
Security (Office) Secretary:
Sign in here for your secure room key and assignment folder. Your controller, code named “Principal”, will fill you in with all the details. I’ll let him know you’re here.
tink…tink…tink…tink
P: We had an advance team go in and sanitize the target area for you.
H: Yes, that should help. All those grammar rules posters and multiplication tables of secret data would be a deterrent to getting accurate intel from this group.
P: We’ve also set up isolation cells for each suspect. There is no possible way for any of the suspects to communicate with each other. The “privacy folders” are made of state of the art, sound suppressing cardboard!
tink…tink…tink…tink
H: What else we know about this group?
P: All we know at this point is that it is a terrorist cell of 28 individuals known as “The Third Graders”. We don’t know what kind of intelligence they have but we do know that they are reluctant to divulge any information at this point in time.
tink…tink…tink…tink
P: This canister contains restricted questions that we want answered. We have a time commitment to obtain those answers. We cannot fail! Do you understand? Are you sure you can do this job?
H: It might take some “enhanced interrogation” methods to get at the truth, but yes, I’m sure it can be done. A little water hoarding should help things along. No drink or bathroom breaks during the test usually gets to the truth.
H: If that doesn’t work, can I shoot a few in the knees?
P: Unfortunately, no. That would be against school policy.
tink…tink…tink…tink
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Went to the Doctor and the Doctor Said…
Health care is a problem if you aren’t independently wealthy or don’t have access to employer subsidized insurance coverage.
Substitute teachers aren’t included in the school system I work for so we pay for our own coverage. We had to switch from a PPO system five years ago to a HMO system named after a famous cement mogul.
I don’t visit the doctor very often so I’m still trying to get into the groove with Kaiser’s online process. With our old PPO system, I’d call for an appointment and usually see the doctor in a day or two. The new HMO system has an online appointment feature that’s faster and pretty easy to use. I like it.
I’ve been bothered by a blocked ear that’s been driving me nuts for a couple weeks. Since I didn’t have any subbing assignments until Friday, I logged on and requested the first available doctor appointment for any day/time hoping for one today or tomorrow.
I was pleasantly surprised to find several appointments available for Wednesday morning and selected one that allowed me two hours to get ready and be there with time to spare. It was mid-morning and the waiting room had only two other people waiting. GREAT!
It wasn’t until I tried to check in at the clinic that the “first available appointment” the system had offered me was not for today but the middle of next MONTH!
“But, all I need is to get my ear cleaned out. Is there any way you can squeeze me in today?”
She said she could probably work me in but sent me off with a medical technician to record the usual vitals like blood pressure, weight, oxygen levels, and answer questions about allergies and other physical complaints.
After answering all the usual symptom questions that had nothing to do with clogged ears, the guy asks:
MedTech: Age?
Me: uh, 60 (…thinking the system should already be showing him that information. Why is he asking me the obvious?)
MedTech: Who’s the President of the United States?
Me: What? (…completely caught off guard)
MedTech: Do you know who the President of the United States is?
Me: Well, unfortunately it’s Barack Obama.
MedTech: You know what year this is?
Me: (…WTF??? and wondering what this has to do with stuffy ears) “2009”
I suppose that failing to correctly make an online doctors appointment might qualify me as a future Alzheimer's candidate but…come on!
Sure, I don’t remember the names of all 32 kids in class after taking attendance but I WILL know the names of the jerk-offs by the end of class.
It’s not like forgetting to pay your taxes on April/15 before accepting a government job in finance or claiming that you don’t remember being in CIA briefing meetings where they told you secret stuff!
Don’t I get some points for actually operating the computer to make an appointment (even it WAS for the wrong month) and successfully driving a car to the correct address to be there on time?
I suspect that it’s more the fact that I’m officially “old” at 60 that prompted the memory tests, but it’s still shocking to encounter them for the first time.
At least I can still put on my own adult diapers!
Substitute teachers aren’t included in the school system I work for so we pay for our own coverage. We had to switch from a PPO system five years ago to a HMO system named after a famous cement mogul.
I don’t visit the doctor very often so I’m still trying to get into the groove with Kaiser’s online process. With our old PPO system, I’d call for an appointment and usually see the doctor in a day or two. The new HMO system has an online appointment feature that’s faster and pretty easy to use. I like it.
I’ve been bothered by a blocked ear that’s been driving me nuts for a couple weeks. Since I didn’t have any subbing assignments until Friday, I logged on and requested the first available doctor appointment for any day/time hoping for one today or tomorrow.
I was pleasantly surprised to find several appointments available for Wednesday morning and selected one that allowed me two hours to get ready and be there with time to spare. It was mid-morning and the waiting room had only two other people waiting. GREAT!
It wasn’t until I tried to check in at the clinic that the “first available appointment” the system had offered me was not for today but the middle of next MONTH!
“But, all I need is to get my ear cleaned out. Is there any way you can squeeze me in today?”
She said she could probably work me in but sent me off with a medical technician to record the usual vitals like blood pressure, weight, oxygen levels, and answer questions about allergies and other physical complaints.
After answering all the usual symptom questions that had nothing to do with clogged ears, the guy asks:
MedTech: Age?
Me: uh, 60 (…thinking the system should already be showing him that information. Why is he asking me the obvious?)
MedTech: Who’s the President of the United States?
Me: What? (…completely caught off guard)
MedTech: Do you know who the President of the United States is?
Me: Well, unfortunately it’s Barack Obama.
MedTech: You know what year this is?
Me: (…WTF??? and wondering what this has to do with stuffy ears) “2009”
I suppose that failing to correctly make an online doctors appointment might qualify me as a future Alzheimer's candidate but…come on!
Sure, I don’t remember the names of all 32 kids in class after taking attendance but I WILL know the names of the jerk-offs by the end of class.
It’s not like forgetting to pay your taxes on April/15 before accepting a government job in finance or claiming that you don’t remember being in CIA briefing meetings where they told you secret stuff!
Don’t I get some points for actually operating the computer to make an appointment (even it WAS for the wrong month) and successfully driving a car to the correct address to be there on time?
I suspect that it’s more the fact that I’m officially “old” at 60 that prompted the memory tests, but it’s still shocking to encounter them for the first time.
At least I can still put on my own adult diapers!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
No Pee in the Soap Dispenser…
Crisis of the day:
Three of my 5th grade girls came running back to the classroom after the start of recess. “Mr. Homework, Mr. Homework! Someone peed in the soap dispenser in the girl’s bathroom!”
This was a first. While I don’t know the soap situation in the girls’ bathroom, I know the dispensers are mounted on the wall above the sinks in the boys’ room. I couldn’t even imagine, if it WAS true, just how someone could have managed to accomplish such a physical feat.
Me: How do you KNOW it’s pee in the soap dispenser?
Girls: It’s supposed to be pink soap and it’s all orangey, yellow and icky!
Me: Maybe custodian just filled it with different color soap today.
Girls: No, no, no, come see!
Well, I’m not venturing into the girls room for soap viewing, so instead I notified the school office and reported the “pee in the soap dispenser” situation.
Result? Due to swine flu precautions, the school district is requiring all the soap dispensers to be filled with anti-bacterial (anti-viral?) soap. Why it had to be pee yellow, I don’t know but…
There is NO pee in the soap dispensers!
Three of my 5th grade girls came running back to the classroom after the start of recess. “Mr. Homework, Mr. Homework! Someone peed in the soap dispenser in the girl’s bathroom!”
This was a first. While I don’t know the soap situation in the girls’ bathroom, I know the dispensers are mounted on the wall above the sinks in the boys’ room. I couldn’t even imagine, if it WAS true, just how someone could have managed to accomplish such a physical feat.
Me: How do you KNOW it’s pee in the soap dispenser?
Girls: It’s supposed to be pink soap and it’s all orangey, yellow and icky!
Me: Maybe custodian just filled it with different color soap today.
Girls: No, no, no, come see!
Well, I’m not venturing into the girls room for soap viewing, so instead I notified the school office and reported the “pee in the soap dispenser” situation.
Result? Due to swine flu precautions, the school district is requiring all the soap dispensers to be filled with anti-bacterial (anti-viral?) soap. Why it had to be pee yellow, I don’t know but…
There is NO pee in the soap dispensers!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
What's Half of a Minimum Day?
Substitute teachers like substituting on "minimum day". It cuts the school day by as much as 1.5 hours. Since we're paid per day rather than per hour, it's one of the few substitute teacher job perks. Same pay for a bit less work.
Conversely, some substitute teachers don't like half day assignments (...because it's half the daily pay). Personally, I don't mind half days as long as it's the second half. You don't have to get up early and usually the lunch period is included as part of the afternoon half of a school day.
Therefore a "perfect storm" for me in subbing is the afternoon, half day assignment on a minimum day. I haven't ever experienced one...until today!
My day started at 11:30am, went to lunch at 11:45am, in the classroom from 12:15pm to 01:15pm when school ended.
One and a half hours work for a half daily rate works out to better than $40/hr.
Sweet!!!!
Conversely, some substitute teachers don't like half day assignments (...because it's half the daily pay). Personally, I don't mind half days as long as it's the second half. You don't have to get up early and usually the lunch period is included as part of the afternoon half of a school day.
Therefore a "perfect storm" for me in subbing is the afternoon, half day assignment on a minimum day. I haven't ever experienced one...until today!
My day started at 11:30am, went to lunch at 11:45am, in the classroom from 12:15pm to 01:15pm when school ended.
One and a half hours work for a half daily rate works out to better than $40/hr.
Sweet!!!!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Thursday, May 07, 2009
Independent STAR Test Thinking…
California STAR (Standardized Testing and Reporting) testing is in full swing this week. Three days of the five assignment in 3rd grade, had me doing STAR testing for Math and Language Arts .
The test questions are all multiple choice. Everyone knows how to use a #2 pencil to fill in the circle next to the answer selected.
Even so, my job was to read a script, as written, about identifying the list of possible answers to the questions provided and directing the proper handling of the provided #2 pencil to completely fill in the circle bubble next to the desired answer.
This same “fill in the bubble” instruction was repeated at the start of each of the three sections of the test I proctored. I was also instructed to make sure that every question in every booklet had at least one selected answer properly #2 penciled.
What the STAR test instructions didn’t tell me (or maybe it did but I missed it) is what to do with the “independent thinkers” in class.
You know, the student who might:
In both cases, I exercised a common sense interpretation of the rules and instructed them to choose only from the provided test answers listed and erase anything they added to the test booklet.
(…I’m expecting to be hauled away in handcuffs by the STAR police as soon as this confession hits the blogosphere.)
The test questions are all multiple choice. Everyone knows how to use a #2 pencil to fill in the circle next to the answer selected.
Even so, my job was to read a script, as written, about identifying the list of possible answers to the questions provided and directing the proper handling of the provided #2 pencil to completely fill in the circle bubble next to the desired answer.
This same “fill in the bubble” instruction was repeated at the start of each of the three sections of the test I proctored. I was also instructed to make sure that every question in every booklet had at least one selected answer properly #2 penciled.
What the STAR test instructions didn’t tell me (or maybe it did but I missed it) is what to do with the “independent thinkers” in class.
You know, the student who might:
- Carefully draw a line through each of the test provided multiple choice answers and write in “None of these answers” above the list.
- Carefully mark an answer she added to the list of provided possible answers that included an amazingly proper sized circle bubble to mark.
In both cases, I exercised a common sense interpretation of the rules and instructed them to choose only from the provided test answers listed and erase anything they added to the test booklet.
(…I’m expecting to be hauled away in handcuffs by the STAR police as soon as this confession hits the blogosphere.)
Saturday, May 02, 2009
Nose Hair and Ear Wax…
One of the more annoying situations a substitute teacher has to deal with is the constant tattling in the lower grades. The serious stuff we DO have to come down hard on, but the petty stuff really drives me to distraction.
I’m in my second day of a five day assignment when one 3rd grade boy confronts me with an intense attitude and seriously troubled look. He’s tattling about another kid who called him a name. The suspect in question was only three paces behind and chiming in that the first kid had shoved him.
My usual tactic in these situations is to deliver a short lecture about proper behavior at school and have them say “sorry” while shaking hands.
This time I decided to do something different.
Guys! I don’t know who did what first and I’m not going to try and find out. What I CAN do is put both your names on my report for your teacher and let him sort it out when he gets back or...we can settle this in a different way. You decide what you want me to do.
They both decided that “different” was the choice they wanted.
“Ok guys, here’s the deal. From now to the end of the school year you are best friends!”
(…both glaring at each other but not saying a word)
And as best friends, I’m going to give you nicknames to use when talking to each other.
(…both now looking at me with a suspicious look)
Pointing to the first kid I said: From now on your nickname is “NoseHair” and your nickname, pointing to the second kid, is “EarWax”. Now shake hands and apologize to each other using your new names.
Kid1: I’m sorry, EarWa…
(He couldn’t finish because he was laughing.)
Kid2: I’m sorry too, NoseHair!
(He was trying REAL hard not to laugh.)
They then ran off laughing.
Seemingly, whatever problems they originally had with each other appeared forgotten. If it lasts to the end of the year that's great. If not, at least they won't be bugging me again for the rest of the week.
I’m in my second day of a five day assignment when one 3rd grade boy confronts me with an intense attitude and seriously troubled look. He’s tattling about another kid who called him a name. The suspect in question was only three paces behind and chiming in that the first kid had shoved him.
My usual tactic in these situations is to deliver a short lecture about proper behavior at school and have them say “sorry” while shaking hands.
This time I decided to do something different.
Guys! I don’t know who did what first and I’m not going to try and find out. What I CAN do is put both your names on my report for your teacher and let him sort it out when he gets back or...we can settle this in a different way. You decide what you want me to do.
They both decided that “different” was the choice they wanted.
“Ok guys, here’s the deal. From now to the end of the school year you are best friends!”
(…both glaring at each other but not saying a word)
And as best friends, I’m going to give you nicknames to use when talking to each other.
(…both now looking at me with a suspicious look)
Pointing to the first kid I said: From now on your nickname is “NoseHair” and your nickname, pointing to the second kid, is “EarWax”. Now shake hands and apologize to each other using your new names.
Kid1: I’m sorry, EarWa…
(He couldn’t finish because he was laughing.)
Kid2: I’m sorry too, NoseHair!
(He was trying REAL hard not to laugh.)
They then ran off laughing.
Seemingly, whatever problems they originally had with each other appeared forgotten. If it lasts to the end of the year that's great. If not, at least they won't be bugging me again for the rest of the week.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Flu Ready...
I start my five day assignment for 3rd grade tomorrow...just in time for the swine flu outbreak.
I'm ready!
Designer masks
I'm ready!
Designer masks
Sunday, April 26, 2009
The Value of Visibility…
Going into the Spring Break week (April13-17), I had exactly one assignment day pre-scheduled for the week coming back and nothing beyond that to the end of the school year. In previous years, experience showed that subbing assignments after a week long school holiday is pretty dismal for at least the following week.
My one and only assignment last Wednesday was as “roving sub” for seven teachers that had parent-teacher meetings. For one reason or another, these meetings couldn’t be conducted before or after school. Scheduled 40 mins apart, I would be called to the teacher's room when the parents arrived to take over the class while the teacher and parents talked.
Three of those parents meetings were “no-shows”, as it turned out, so I spent most of the day in the teachers lounge reading a book.
I could have gone back to the car to read but I have found that just being visible in the high traffic area of the teachers lounge is an efficient way to pick up future assignments.
“Oh! You’re here today. I was wondering if you are available for the last Thursday before summer vacation?”.
Why yes I am, as I open my assignment book.
“I’m getting married at the end of the month and need someone to cover a five day assignment. Are you available?”
I can do that! Assignment noted.
“Mr. Homework? There is a call for you from a Mrs. N---? Line 2”.
Yes, Mrs. N--- (different school) I CAN sub for you tomorrow.
“I’m glad you're here, did you remember that I need you for June 3?”
(I did vaguely recall, but since it wasn’t firm…)
Ok, I’m entering it right now. We’re all set.
…and so it continued the rest of the week.
I currently have 11 of the final 34 days of school booked, where I previously only had 1 at the start of last week.
My one and only assignment last Wednesday was as “roving sub” for seven teachers that had parent-teacher meetings. For one reason or another, these meetings couldn’t be conducted before or after school. Scheduled 40 mins apart, I would be called to the teacher's room when the parents arrived to take over the class while the teacher and parents talked.
Three of those parents meetings were “no-shows”, as it turned out, so I spent most of the day in the teachers lounge reading a book.
I could have gone back to the car to read but I have found that just being visible in the high traffic area of the teachers lounge is an efficient way to pick up future assignments.
“Oh! You’re here today. I was wondering if you are available for the last Thursday before summer vacation?”.
Why yes I am, as I open my assignment book.
“I’m getting married at the end of the month and need someone to cover a five day assignment. Are you available?”
I can do that! Assignment noted.
“Mr. Homework? There is a call for you from a Mrs. N---? Line 2”.
Yes, Mrs. N--- (different school) I CAN sub for you tomorrow.
“I’m glad you're here, did you remember that I need you for June 3?”
(I did vaguely recall, but since it wasn’t firm…)
Ok, I’m entering it right now. We’re all set.
…and so it continued the rest of the week.
I currently have 11 of the final 34 days of school booked, where I previously only had 1 at the start of last week.
Sucky Jobs...
I know I complain a bit about the job of substitute teacher and the low pay.
...not anymore!
Bricklayers labourer in Bangladesh:
...not anymore!
Bricklayers labourer in Bangladesh:
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Video Day...
Good morning class! My Name is Mr. Homework and I am your substitute teacher today.
Unfortunately, your U.S. government teachers Mr. Diem and Mr. Rightonleft didn't have time to create a lesson plan today, so let's just roll the videos...
Unfortunately, your U.S. government teachers Mr. Diem and Mr. Rightonleft didn't have time to create a lesson plan today, so let's just roll the videos...
Monday, April 20, 2009
Did You Know...
I just added a "Flag Counter" feature to the left column of the blog.
One of the neat things you can do is click the counter block and then click on any of the flags listed to find out more about the country of the visitor.
For example: Pakistan: Population: 176,242,94
The Indus Valley civilization, one of the oldest in the world and dating back at least 5,000 years, spread over much of what is presently Pakistan. During the second millennium B.C., remnants of this culture fused with the migrating Indo-Aryan peoples. The area underwent successive invasions in subsequent centuries from the Persians, Greeks, Scythians, Arabs (who brought Islam), Afghans, and Turks. The Mughal Empire flourished in the 16th and 17th centuries; the British came to dominate the region in the 18th century. The separation in 1947 of British India into the Muslim state of Pakistan (with West and East sections) and largely Hindu India was never satisfactorily resolved, and India and Pakistan fought two wars - in 1947-48 and 1965 - over the disputed Kashmir territory. A third war between these countries in 1971 - in which India capitalized on Islamabad's marginalization of Bengalis in Pakistani politics - resulted in East Pakistan becoming the separate nation of Bangladesh. In response to Indian nuclear weapons testing, Pakistan conducted its own tests in 1998. The dispute over the state of Kashmir is ongoing, but discussions and confidence-building measures have led to decreased tensions since 2002. Mounting public dissatisfaction with President MUSHARRAF, coupled with the assassination of the prominent and popular political leader, Benazir BHUTTO, in late 2007, and MUSHARRAF's resignation in August 2008, led to the September presidential election of Asif ZARDARI, BHUTTO's widower. Pakistani government and military leaders are struggling to control Islamist militants, many of whom are located in the tribal areas adjacent to the border with Afghanistan. The November 2008 Mumbai attacks again inflamed Indo-Pakistan relations. The Pakistani Government is also faced with a deteriorating economy as foreign exchange reserves decline, the currency depreciates, and the current account deficit widens.
(Confession: No, I didn't read it all. Just cut and pasted it)
One of the neat things you can do is click the counter block and then click on any of the flags listed to find out more about the country of the visitor.
For example: Pakistan: Population: 176,242,94
The Indus Valley civilization, one of the oldest in the world and dating back at least 5,000 years, spread over much of what is presently Pakistan. During the second millennium B.C., remnants of this culture fused with the migrating Indo-Aryan peoples. The area underwent successive invasions in subsequent centuries from the Persians, Greeks, Scythians, Arabs (who brought Islam), Afghans, and Turks. The Mughal Empire flourished in the 16th and 17th centuries; the British came to dominate the region in the 18th century. The separation in 1947 of British India into the Muslim state of Pakistan (with West and East sections) and largely Hindu India was never satisfactorily resolved, and India and Pakistan fought two wars - in 1947-48 and 1965 - over the disputed Kashmir territory. A third war between these countries in 1971 - in which India capitalized on Islamabad's marginalization of Bengalis in Pakistani politics - resulted in East Pakistan becoming the separate nation of Bangladesh. In response to Indian nuclear weapons testing, Pakistan conducted its own tests in 1998. The dispute over the state of Kashmir is ongoing, but discussions and confidence-building measures have led to decreased tensions since 2002. Mounting public dissatisfaction with President MUSHARRAF, coupled with the assassination of the prominent and popular political leader, Benazir BHUTTO, in late 2007, and MUSHARRAF's resignation in August 2008, led to the September presidential election of Asif ZARDARI, BHUTTO's widower. Pakistani government and military leaders are struggling to control Islamist militants, many of whom are located in the tribal areas adjacent to the border with Afghanistan. The November 2008 Mumbai attacks again inflamed Indo-Pakistan relations. The Pakistani Government is also faced with a deteriorating economy as foreign exchange reserves decline, the currency depreciates, and the current account deficit widens.
(Confession: No, I didn't read it all. Just cut and pasted it)
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Do-Re-Me
Train station dancing seems to be the in thing these days. More fun at the train station...
(Schools are still out for spring break)
(Schools are still out for spring break)
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Books and Covers
Since I was complaining about American Idol a few days ago, I ran across this:
Can you judge a book by it's cover? Simon sure does. Just watch his expressions...
Susan Boyl - wants to be a singer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY
Can you judge a book by it's cover? Simon sure does. Just watch his expressions...
Susan Boyl - wants to be a singer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Mrs. HOMEWORK?…
As most seasoned readers of this blog know, I use the alias “Mr. HOMEWORK” at the schools I substitute. It works for me as part of an accidentally discovered classroom management technique.
If I tell the kids to call me “MR. HOMEWORK!!” it plants a subconscious seed that misbehavior in class might result in extra work at home. Works for me!
So imagine my surprise, Monday, when some the kids came running up as I was unlocking the door to tell me: “Guess what? Mrs. Homework was here last week!”
Knowing that my wife isn’t in the subbing business and has absolutely no desire EVER to do so, I assured them that they must have been mistaken. I didn’t even know how they would have recognized her since she’s never been near any of the local schools since I started subbing.
“No, no! We had a sub last week and she said we should call her Mrs. Homework!” They then ran off, without disclosing any further details.
Well, that IS an interesting development. Maybe we’ll encounter each other some day on campus and I can uncover the back story to the mysterious “Mrs. Homework”. If it happens, I'll let you know.
If I tell the kids to call me “MR. HOMEWORK!!” it plants a subconscious seed that misbehavior in class might result in extra work at home. Works for me!
So imagine my surprise, Monday, when some the kids came running up as I was unlocking the door to tell me: “Guess what? Mrs. Homework was here last week!”
Knowing that my wife isn’t in the subbing business and has absolutely no desire EVER to do so, I assured them that they must have been mistaken. I didn’t even know how they would have recognized her since she’s never been near any of the local schools since I started subbing.
“No, no! We had a sub last week and she said we should call her Mrs. Homework!” They then ran off, without disclosing any further details.
Well, that IS an interesting development. Maybe we’ll encounter each other some day on campus and I can uncover the back story to the mysterious “Mrs. Homework”. If it happens, I'll let you know.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Got TARP?
I picked up my monthly paycheck at the school district office yesterday afternoon. It’s pretty puny as I logged only six days subbing. I guess it must qualify as my “troubled asset” because I noticed they didn’t withhold any State or Federal income taxes as they normally do.
I must have got some of that TARP money I keep hearing about on the radio. YES!
P.S. I'm currently reading "Atlas Shrugged"
I must have got some of that TARP money I keep hearing about on the radio. YES!
P.S. I'm currently reading "Atlas Shrugged"
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Fringe, the Final Seven
We DVR! Greatest consumer appliance invented since the microwave.
We hardly watch "live" TV anymore.
But...
When the networks run a show over it's scheduled time slot into one of my favorite shows without advanced notice, it's excruciatingly irritating! I could care less about "American Idol". I want to view MY shows please.
In case you were exposed to seven minutes of some lame Idol singer that made you miss the last seven minutes!!!! of the Fringe episode titled "Inner Child", you can view tha last 7 here:
http://www.fringetelevision.com/2009/04/fringe-episode-115-what-you-missed.html
We hardly watch "live" TV anymore.
But...
When the networks run a show over it's scheduled time slot into one of my favorite shows without advanced notice, it's excruciatingly irritating! I could care less about "American Idol". I want to view MY shows please.
In case you were exposed to seven minutes of some lame Idol singer that made you miss the last seven minutes!!!! of the Fringe episode titled "Inner Child", you can view tha last 7 here:
http://www.fringetelevision.com/2009/04/fringe-episode-115-what-you-missed.html
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Keys to the Classroom…
While I haven’t encountered this situation yet, some substitute teachers report that they are not trusted with the key to their classroom for the day. They report that they have to wait for a custodian or a school admin to unlock the classroom door before they can gain access to the room in the morning.
They are not trusted to keep the key during the day for fear that they might lose it, copy it or give it to someone to gain access.
Fortunately, the schools I work for assume I’m a trustworthy guy as demonstrated a couple weeks back when I arrived for my 4th grade assignment.
“We can’t find the key to your classroom so you can use this” the school secretary informed me as she handed over a lanyard of three keys.
“It’s the master set and opens all the doors to the school. It even has the key for the towel dispenser in the mens bathroom. If it’s out, feel free to change it”, she said with a smile.
Trust is a good feeling.
They are not trusted to keep the key during the day for fear that they might lose it, copy it or give it to someone to gain access.
Fortunately, the schools I work for assume I’m a trustworthy guy as demonstrated a couple weeks back when I arrived for my 4th grade assignment.
“We can’t find the key to your classroom so you can use this” the school secretary informed me as she handed over a lanyard of three keys.
“It’s the master set and opens all the doors to the school. It even has the key for the towel dispenser in the mens bathroom. If it’s out, feel free to change it”, she said with a smile.
Trust is a good feeling.
Friday, April 03, 2009
My New Grandson!
My new grandson!! (...who is yet to be named)
Born April 2, 2009. Weight 9 lbs 1 oz, Length 21"
Update: The parents finally settled on a name: Sean (normal spelling, normal pronunciation...)
Born April 2, 2009. Weight 9 lbs 1 oz, Length 21"
Update: The parents finally settled on a name: Sean (normal spelling, normal pronunciation...)
Monday, March 30, 2009
Quake - March 30
We had an earthquake just about an hour ago. Pretty good rockin' & roller at 4.4 Richter. The center was about 8 miles east of my house.
I wonder if they did the earthquake drill at the schools today?
I wonder if they did the earthquake drill at the schools today?
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Classroom Videos…
Friday was yet another easy day in 5th grade. Correct some homework, do the next math lesson, reading assignment and watch a couple videos.
With only about 30mins before class begins, I do not have the time to “preview” any video selections to make sure it doesn’t contain any graphic scenes of violence, sex or other inappropriate visuals that could get me fired, sued or arrested.
Most the time the “video” is a Disney animation feature stretching the definition of Social Studies and History as in Mulan, Pocahontas and Hercules. Others are videos that I have seen before and I know are “ok”.
Friday’s video was one I hadn’t come across before. The description of “The Human Machine” sounded interesting. I didn’t know how it would go over with 5th graders, but if it’s on the lesson plan it must be ok.
Had I seen the unedited cover sleeve (see above), I might have performed a quick scan during recess, but the lower right hand cover graphic was blacked out with a Sharpie pen. It’s on the lesson plan, it must be ok.
The story line has the viewer following a robot/mime like actor as he explores the various functions of the human machine.
From the Amazon editorial review:
…Even the simplest move we make requires a host of complex interactions between our muscles, bones, and brain. DK's Eyewitness: Human Machine lays it all out in a way kids and adults will both love. Their distinctive visual style, using modern special effects, always provokes a "Wow!" from the audience. Examining athletes in slow-motion, microphotography of our tiniest parts, and state-of-the-art imaging techniques for peeking inside the brain, DK shows us what is known and piques our curiosity to learn more. It's rare for a family education video to actually educate the whole family--Eyewitness: Human Machine works and should be a part of any lifetime of learning. --Rob Lightner
While there is nothing visually explicit in the video, it comes close to the “can I get into trouble?” for showing it in class category.
The part on intestines and its end product got a few “oh gross” comments from the crowd. No problem. I think poop is interesting.
The part showing a hairy man in slow motion diving into a pool (…and I mean Sasquatch hairy) got a lot of “icky, gross, eek” comments from the girls, but still not up to the standards of getting myself jail time. It’s on the lesson plan, it must be ok.
The part about the largest human organ, “skin”, had robot man on a beach in southern California watching string bikini bronzed models from the rear. The boys in class got real interested! I think this is the part mentioned in the review about: “always provokes a "Wow!" from the audience!”. I reminded myself: it’s on the lesson plan, it must be ok.
While robot man and I enjoyed the beach visuals, I thought 5th grade boys and girls didn’t need to see four or five transitions to various different views of bronzed beach bunnies in school. The comments from the boys in class confirmed my opinion. I decided not to make an issue of it. It’s on the lesson plan, it must be ok.
We were coming up on the last segment of the video and I started getting nervous about how they would handle human reproduction.
I started walking toward the front of the room so I was within reach of the “Stop” button on the VCR. Fortunately, the video skipped any scenes of hairy Sasquatch guys and beach bunnies getting together. The video skipped directly to microscopic video of embryonic egg development and baby sonograms.
The video ended and I quickly inserted the next video on conservation because:
--It’s on the lesson plan, it must be ok.
With only about 30mins before class begins, I do not have the time to “preview” any video selections to make sure it doesn’t contain any graphic scenes of violence, sex or other inappropriate visuals that could get me fired, sued or arrested.
Most the time the “video” is a Disney animation feature stretching the definition of Social Studies and History as in Mulan, Pocahontas and Hercules. Others are videos that I have seen before and I know are “ok”.
Friday’s video was one I hadn’t come across before. The description of “The Human Machine” sounded interesting. I didn’t know how it would go over with 5th graders, but if it’s on the lesson plan it must be ok.
Had I seen the unedited cover sleeve (see above), I might have performed a quick scan during recess, but the lower right hand cover graphic was blacked out with a Sharpie pen. It’s on the lesson plan, it must be ok.
The story line has the viewer following a robot/mime like actor as he explores the various functions of the human machine.
From the Amazon editorial review:
…Even the simplest move we make requires a host of complex interactions between our muscles, bones, and brain. DK's Eyewitness: Human Machine lays it all out in a way kids and adults will both love. Their distinctive visual style, using modern special effects, always provokes a "Wow!" from the audience. Examining athletes in slow-motion, microphotography of our tiniest parts, and state-of-the-art imaging techniques for peeking inside the brain, DK shows us what is known and piques our curiosity to learn more. It's rare for a family education video to actually educate the whole family--Eyewitness: Human Machine works and should be a part of any lifetime of learning. --Rob Lightner
While there is nothing visually explicit in the video, it comes close to the “can I get into trouble?” for showing it in class category.
The part on intestines and its end product got a few “oh gross” comments from the crowd. No problem. I think poop is interesting.
The part showing a hairy man in slow motion diving into a pool (…and I mean Sasquatch hairy) got a lot of “icky, gross, eek” comments from the girls, but still not up to the standards of getting myself jail time. It’s on the lesson plan, it must be ok.
The part about the largest human organ, “skin”, had robot man on a beach in southern California watching string bikini bronzed models from the rear. The boys in class got real interested! I think this is the part mentioned in the review about: “always provokes a "Wow!" from the audience!”. I reminded myself: it’s on the lesson plan, it must be ok.
While robot man and I enjoyed the beach visuals, I thought 5th grade boys and girls didn’t need to see four or five transitions to various different views of bronzed beach bunnies in school. The comments from the boys in class confirmed my opinion. I decided not to make an issue of it. It’s on the lesson plan, it must be ok.
We were coming up on the last segment of the video and I started getting nervous about how they would handle human reproduction.
I started walking toward the front of the room so I was within reach of the “Stop” button on the VCR. Fortunately, the video skipped any scenes of hairy Sasquatch guys and beach bunnies getting together. The video skipped directly to microscopic video of embryonic egg development and baby sonograms.
The video ended and I quickly inserted the next video on conservation because:
--It’s on the lesson plan, it must be ok.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Truth About Poop …
If things go right, nothing malfunctions, the kids are terrific and I end the day non-stressed and happy, does that make for an uninteresting blog entry?
If so, well…too bad!
These 4th graders were fun to be with today. The lesson plan was clear; the kids responded well to direction; were cooperative and happy; and as a result, made a stress free day for me.
At the end of the day, I rewarded them by reading a few interesting facts from a book I found on the teachers desk: “The Truth About Poop”. Even I learned something new today.
For example: Did you know wolverines will poop on a leftover meal to discourage other animals from scavenging it before they come back to finish it?
Me neither! Who knew? I feel compelled to discover more truths about poop and I will get to do just that.
I sub the same class again on Monday! I almost feel guilty about getting paid for today. Note I did say “almost”.
If so, well…too bad!
These 4th graders were fun to be with today. The lesson plan was clear; the kids responded well to direction; were cooperative and happy; and as a result, made a stress free day for me.
At the end of the day, I rewarded them by reading a few interesting facts from a book I found on the teachers desk: “The Truth About Poop”. Even I learned something new today.
For example: Did you know wolverines will poop on a leftover meal to discourage other animals from scavenging it before they come back to finish it?
Me neither! Who knew? I feel compelled to discover more truths about poop and I will get to do just that.
I sub the same class again on Monday! I almost feel guilty about getting paid for today. Note I did say “almost”.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Chris D(i)dd It.
"I didn't do it on my own...Someone asked me to do it."
I usually hear this kind of "reasons why" from Kindergartners. The amazing thing is, I think they actually believe it when they say it out loud.
This is an example why a line item veto (not a line item amend-o) should be afforded the President on budget legislation.
I usually hear this kind of "reasons why" from Kindergartners. The amazing thing is, I think they actually believe it when they say it out loud.
This is an example why a line item veto (not a line item amend-o) should be afforded the President on budget legislation.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Latest Carnival of Education
The latest Carnival of Education is currently hosted by Right Wing Nation
At Right on the Left Coast, Darren has a class on the probability of being dealt a royal flush in 5-card stud.
...I "bet" it's a popular class!
At Right on the Left Coast, Darren has a class on the probability of being dealt a royal flush in 5-card stud.
...I "bet" it's a popular class!
Random Classroom Observations …
I carry a clipboard with all the necessary paperwork I’ll need throughout the day. This normally includes a copy of the daily lesson plan, a blank substitute teacher report form to fill in during the day and a separate blank piece of paper to jot down “items of interest” that I think might or might not be blog worthy.
This previous weeks’ collection of “interesting items” from various 4th and 5th grade classrooms includes:
Q: What quirky unlabeled Apple notebook computer icon is used to boot up the “SmartBoard™ program” in the morning as instructed in the lesson plan?
A: It’s the blue circle thingy called “Notebook”, of course!
Q: How do you fix the SmartBoard™ when it freezes up during the lesson?
A: After furiously trying different electronic pens, the electronic eraser, and tapping every control icon you can see with a finger (not the finger I’d REALLY like to use), you give up and revert to real whiteboard markers and the tiny bit of actual whiteboard space not covered the idiot SmartBoard™.
Q: Are books written in Hebrew or Spanish allowed during “Silent Reading” time?
A: Unless specifically limited to “English only” on the lesson plan, I say yes! At least they are reading or at least pretending to. Just don’t expect me to help pronounce or know the meaning of any specific word. Especially the Hebrew!
Q: What would possess a kid check out a book from the school library, return it to the city public library and believe the school librarian shouldn’t get all worked up over it?
A: I don’t know. That’s what kids do.
Q: What would possess a kid (different kid) to draw pictures of spacemen and cowboys in a school library book and expect the school librarian to be “ok with that”?
A: I don’t know. That’s what kids do.
Q: Should the class “wannabe gangsta” with a real bad attitude toward other kids and adults be allowed to leave the classroom to do his job as “a conflict manager”?
A: I was sure this had to be a scam, but the office verified it was true!
Q: Should a kid get detention (I had recess monitor duty in the detention room) for drawing the wrong Indian god for homework?
A: I thought “government” and “religion” weren’t compatible in public schools. I guess it’s only with “some” religions the government has a problem.
This previous weeks’ collection of “interesting items” from various 4th and 5th grade classrooms includes:
Q: What quirky unlabeled Apple notebook computer icon is used to boot up the “SmartBoard™ program” in the morning as instructed in the lesson plan?
A: It’s the blue circle thingy called “Notebook”, of course!
Q: How do you fix the SmartBoard™ when it freezes up during the lesson?
A: After furiously trying different electronic pens, the electronic eraser, and tapping every control icon you can see with a finger (not the finger I’d REALLY like to use), you give up and revert to real whiteboard markers and the tiny bit of actual whiteboard space not covered the idiot SmartBoard™.
Q: Are books written in Hebrew or Spanish allowed during “Silent Reading” time?
A: Unless specifically limited to “English only” on the lesson plan, I say yes! At least they are reading or at least pretending to. Just don’t expect me to help pronounce or know the meaning of any specific word. Especially the Hebrew!
Q: What would possess a kid check out a book from the school library, return it to the city public library and believe the school librarian shouldn’t get all worked up over it?
A: I don’t know. That’s what kids do.
Q: What would possess a kid (different kid) to draw pictures of spacemen and cowboys in a school library book and expect the school librarian to be “ok with that”?
A: I don’t know. That’s what kids do.
Q: Should the class “wannabe gangsta” with a real bad attitude toward other kids and adults be allowed to leave the classroom to do his job as “a conflict manager”?
A: I was sure this had to be a scam, but the office verified it was true!
Q: Should a kid get detention (I had recess monitor duty in the detention room) for drawing the wrong Indian god for homework?
A: I thought “government” and “religion” weren’t compatible in public schools. I guess it’s only with “some” religions the government has a problem.
Friday, March 06, 2009
Apology in Advance
A spammer found the blog and posted 17 spam comments to 17 different posts.
After spending a 1/2 hour locating and deleting comments, I've re-activated the "comments verification" feature for a while.
It's not like I had better things to do. February was a busy subbing month. That's changed to no calls for this first week of March.
After spending a 1/2 hour locating and deleting comments, I've re-activated the "comments verification" feature for a while.
It's not like I had better things to do. February was a busy subbing month. That's changed to no calls for this first week of March.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Math as a Foreign Language …
My high school required at least one year of a foreign language for graduation.
I don’t have the gift for foreign languages and being that at least half of the student population in my school spoke fluent Spanish, I figured that I’d never be able to beat the bell curve going that route. Instead I chose French figuring that I had at least an “average” chance of pulling a middle of the road score.
I received a final grade of “D” for my efforts.
While I lacked any talent in the linguistic arts, I was more at home in the logical science of mathematics. The unambiguous rules of geometry, algebra, and trigonometry were more my speed.
So last week I found myself in a 5th grade classroom reviewing the math lesson for the day: Page 453: Area of Parallelograms.
This should be a cinch!
“The area of a parallelogram is the base times its height.”
There you have it. We’re done. How much more simple can it be? Well, as it turned out all I got were a bunch of blank stares and “We don’t get it!” comments.
“Ok, let’s back up for a moment.”
“Everyone knows what the area of a square is (multiply base x height)? Yes!
“Everyone knows what the area of a rectangle is (multiply base x height)? Yes!
“Ok, good.
Now, everyone get out a piece of graph paper and draw a rectangle of 8 squares on the bottom and 5 squares tall. Now, what is the area of that rectangle?”
Most of them responded 40. A few came back with 26.
After explaining the difference between area and perimeter a few more times, I believed that I convinced the “26” crowd that the “area” was, indeed, 40 square units.
I then had them draw a line from the top left corner to any point of the line on the bottom and cut out the resulting triangle as I demonstrated on the doc-camera.
“Ok, now slide your triangle piece to the right until the vertical sides line up. What is the figure now?
Response: “A parallelogram!”
“What is the area of that parallelogram?”
No response.
“Remember, all we did was cut the rectangle into two pieces and move them around. The area of the two pieces is exactly the same as the original rectangle. Got it?
Now, what is the area of the new parallelogram that we made from the old rectangle that is 40 sq units?”
Response: “40?”
Yes, now repeat after me:
“All rectangles and squares are parallelograms. The area of any parallelogram is the base times it’s height.”
They started in working some of the exercises until recess. I could tell by the number of hands up and requests for individual help that at least a third still “didn’t get it”. I just didn’t know how to explain it or demonstrate it more clearly.
Having some of them repeat the mantra while writing down the numbers helped a few but clearly, I wasn’t getting through to everyone.
After recess they were supposed to continue math exercises. I hoped the repeated mantra was still embedded in a few memory cells, so I decided to see.
Me: I have a prize for the first person who can tell me what the area of a parallelogram is!
Kid #1 Response: 40!
Kid #2 Response: 26!
Oy Vey!... (pardon my French)
I don’t have the gift for foreign languages and being that at least half of the student population in my school spoke fluent Spanish, I figured that I’d never be able to beat the bell curve going that route. Instead I chose French figuring that I had at least an “average” chance of pulling a middle of the road score.
I received a final grade of “D” for my efforts.
While I lacked any talent in the linguistic arts, I was more at home in the logical science of mathematics. The unambiguous rules of geometry, algebra, and trigonometry were more my speed.
So last week I found myself in a 5th grade classroom reviewing the math lesson for the day: Page 453: Area of Parallelograms.
This should be a cinch!
“The area of a parallelogram is the base times its height.”
There you have it. We’re done. How much more simple can it be? Well, as it turned out all I got were a bunch of blank stares and “We don’t get it!” comments.
“Ok, let’s back up for a moment.”
“Everyone knows what the area of a square is (multiply base x height)? Yes!
“Everyone knows what the area of a rectangle is (multiply base x height)? Yes!
“Ok, good.
Now, everyone get out a piece of graph paper and draw a rectangle of 8 squares on the bottom and 5 squares tall. Now, what is the area of that rectangle?”
Most of them responded 40. A few came back with 26.
After explaining the difference between area and perimeter a few more times, I believed that I convinced the “26” crowd that the “area” was, indeed, 40 square units.
I then had them draw a line from the top left corner to any point of the line on the bottom and cut out the resulting triangle as I demonstrated on the doc-camera.
“Ok, now slide your triangle piece to the right until the vertical sides line up. What is the figure now?
Response: “A parallelogram!”
“What is the area of that parallelogram?”
No response.
“Remember, all we did was cut the rectangle into two pieces and move them around. The area of the two pieces is exactly the same as the original rectangle. Got it?
Now, what is the area of the new parallelogram that we made from the old rectangle that is 40 sq units?”
Response: “40?”
Yes, now repeat after me:
“All rectangles and squares are parallelograms. The area of any parallelogram is the base times it’s height.”
They started in working some of the exercises until recess. I could tell by the number of hands up and requests for individual help that at least a third still “didn’t get it”. I just didn’t know how to explain it or demonstrate it more clearly.
Having some of them repeat the mantra while writing down the numbers helped a few but clearly, I wasn’t getting through to everyone.
After recess they were supposed to continue math exercises. I hoped the repeated mantra was still embedded in a few memory cells, so I decided to see.
Me: I have a prize for the first person who can tell me what the area of a parallelogram is!
Kid #1 Response: 40!
Kid #2 Response: 26!
Oy Vey!... (pardon my French)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Winter Break Optimist…
When I was a kid and we had a week off from the classroom, the last place my friends and I would think of hanging out was “the school”. Evidentially, there are a few who think otherwise.
After a week off, I approach the 5th grade classroom which had the word “Bitch” written in large yellow crayon on the blue classroom door.
I’m pretty sure the message wasn’t meant personally but after unlocking the door, I called the office and got the principle.
Prince: Yea, we got hit sometime last week, I thought we had it all cleaned up but I guessed we missed one. Did they at least spell it correctly?
Me: Actually, yes and it was even in legible cursive!
Prince: Well, I guess that’s ONE positive, isn’t it?
After a week off, I approach the 5th grade classroom which had the word “Bitch” written in large yellow crayon on the blue classroom door.
I’m pretty sure the message wasn’t meant personally but after unlocking the door, I called the office and got the principle.
Prince: Yea, we got hit sometime last week, I thought we had it all cleaned up but I guessed we missed one. Did they at least spell it correctly?
Me: Actually, yes and it was even in legible cursive!
Prince: Well, I guess that’s ONE positive, isn’t it?
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Winter Break…
I was previously scheduled for only Monday and Thursday (same school) this past week before winter break. But it didn’t turn out that way. Either checking into or out of the school office every day, they had additional requests from teachers for me.
I ended up subbing every day this week for two 3rd grades classes, one 2nd and two 5th grade classes. Additionally, I’m already assigned to two classes the first week they come back.
Random items of note from this past week’s assignments:
From the Monday lesson plan for 5th grade:
“…I have a group of extremely active students who lack self control and common sense. Nice but immature”
Ugh!!!
Tuesday lesson plan for 3rd grade:
09:15 morning recess duty
01:15 afternoon recess duty
02:35 bus duty (…in the rain as it turned out)
…grrrrr! Karma!!
Friday lesson plan for 5th grade (same class as Monday):
09:15 to 10:00 – Ms. I will conduct the Cornerstone reading lesson. You have this time off, enjoy!
11:15 to 12:00 – Science prep, Ms. H will conduct science lesson and then dismiss the class for lunch. You have this time off, enjoy! (This means an 85 minute lunch “hour” for me!!)
This was the first time I’ve ever encountered two, free time “prep” periods for the same class. I think the teacher was feeling sorry for leaving me with “students who lack self control and common sense…”
I ended up subbing every day this week for two 3rd grades classes, one 2nd and two 5th grade classes. Additionally, I’m already assigned to two classes the first week they come back.
Random items of note from this past week’s assignments:
From the Monday lesson plan for 5th grade:
“…I have a group of extremely active students who lack self control and common sense. Nice but immature”
Ugh!!!
Tuesday lesson plan for 3rd grade:
09:15 morning recess duty
01:15 afternoon recess duty
02:35 bus duty (…in the rain as it turned out)
…grrrrr! Karma!!
Friday lesson plan for 5th grade (same class as Monday):
09:15 to 10:00 – Ms. I will conduct the Cornerstone reading lesson. You have this time off, enjoy!
11:15 to 12:00 – Science prep, Ms. H will conduct science lesson and then dismiss the class for lunch. You have this time off, enjoy! (This means an 85 minute lunch “hour” for me!!)
This was the first time I’ve ever encountered two, free time “prep” periods for the same class. I think the teacher was feeling sorry for leaving me with “students who lack self control and common sense…”
Thursday, February 12, 2009
My Two Cents Worth...
Actually, it's .002 cents worth...
If you fail math in school, you might end up working for the phone company!
-- or making new advances in field of government mathematics --
...PALO ALTO, CA - An international mathematics research team announced today that they had discovered a new integer that surpasses any previously known value "by a totally mindblowing shitload." Project director Yujin Xiao of Stanford University said the theoretical number, dubbed a "stimulus," could lead to breakthroughs in fields as diverse as astrophysics, quantum mechanics, and Chicago asphalt contracting.
"Unlike previous large numbers like the Googleplex or the Bazillionty, the Stimulus has no static numerical definition," said Xiao. "It keeps growing and growing, compounding factorially, eating up all zeros in its path. It moves freely across Cartesian dimensions and has the power to make any other number irrational."
Read the whole news release over at the IowaHawk
HT to Darren for both finds at Right On the Left Coast
If you fail math in school, you might end up working for the phone company!
-- or making new advances in field of government mathematics --
...PALO ALTO, CA - An international mathematics research team announced today that they had discovered a new integer that surpasses any previously known value "by a totally mindblowing shitload." Project director Yujin Xiao of Stanford University said the theoretical number, dubbed a "stimulus," could lead to breakthroughs in fields as diverse as astrophysics, quantum mechanics, and Chicago asphalt contracting.
"Unlike previous large numbers like the Googleplex or the Bazillionty, the Stimulus has no static numerical definition," said Xiao. "It keeps growing and growing, compounding factorially, eating up all zeros in its path. It moves freely across Cartesian dimensions and has the power to make any other number irrational."
Read the whole news release over at the IowaHawk
HT to Darren for both finds at Right On the Left Coast
Friday, February 06, 2009
Odd Subbing Assignment…
I wasn’t quite sure what I was agreeing to after Tuesday night's call from a 4th grade teacher.
“…Tomorrow is our “Walking Wednesday Lunch”. If you are available and willing, you would take my place walking the class to the park for lunch tomorrow.”
This sounded interesting so I agreed to sub for her class the next day.
“…Be sure to bring your lunch to eat there! There won’t be any lesson plan because I’ll do the classroom instruction.”
Sure enough, with bag lunch in hand I checked into the office and found the teacher in the staff lounge.
“…I’m just getting over this bad cold and yesterdays walk out to the car after school exhausted me. I knew I couldn’t make the walk to the park today and I didn’t want to disappoint the kids. Thanks for coming and helping out.”
So my job Wednesday was to just help out in the classroom doing one-on-one help with the math problems and anything else she directed me to do. About 10:30am, we assembled all four of the classes and the other three 4th grade teachers on the blacktop before beginning the trek through the neighborhood streets to the park about 1.5 miles away.
We had lunch, the kids played in the park a couple hours and we got back to the school with about 20 minutes before the dismissal bell.
A very easy, non-stressful day but by the time I got to my car that afternoon, I was exhausted!
I need to get in better shape!!…
“…Tomorrow is our “Walking Wednesday Lunch”. If you are available and willing, you would take my place walking the class to the park for lunch tomorrow.”
This sounded interesting so I agreed to sub for her class the next day.
“…Be sure to bring your lunch to eat there! There won’t be any lesson plan because I’ll do the classroom instruction.”
Sure enough, with bag lunch in hand I checked into the office and found the teacher in the staff lounge.
“…I’m just getting over this bad cold and yesterdays walk out to the car after school exhausted me. I knew I couldn’t make the walk to the park today and I didn’t want to disappoint the kids. Thanks for coming and helping out.”
So my job Wednesday was to just help out in the classroom doing one-on-one help with the math problems and anything else she directed me to do. About 10:30am, we assembled all four of the classes and the other three 4th grade teachers on the blacktop before beginning the trek through the neighborhood streets to the park about 1.5 miles away.
We had lunch, the kids played in the park a couple hours and we got back to the school with about 20 minutes before the dismissal bell.
A very easy, non-stressful day but by the time I got to my car that afternoon, I was exhausted!
I need to get in better shape!!…
Bullshitistol...
"Take Stimulis once every election cycle or whenever you're in need of economic enhancement..."
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Wanted...
Since I last checked in about those last two, trying, terrible, 6th grade classes, I filled out this last week with 3rd graders once, two 5th grade classes, one really odd day with 4th graders and today with 2nd graders.
Because I hadn’t subbed for the 3rd grade teacher before, she was a little worried about turning her class over to me. An office staff recommendation went a long way to reassure her that I wouldn’t damage her kids too much.
She had left me detailed plans, notes, and extra work if needed (I didn’t). Her class was terrific, I had a good time with them and I left a good report. I encountered her in the teachers lounge yesterday and she was telling me how much the kids liked me.
“They even drew a red heart around where you wrote your name on the board!!”. Are you available for next Friday? They have a field trip to the Winchester Mystery House and I’ve seen it so many times and all those stairs are tiring!
Before I could answer, a teacher I had already arranged an assignment with on the same date spoke up: “He’s mine! I reserved him two weeks ago!”
It’s nice to be wanted, but the field trip sounded much more fun than 5th graders…
Because I hadn’t subbed for the 3rd grade teacher before, she was a little worried about turning her class over to me. An office staff recommendation went a long way to reassure her that I wouldn’t damage her kids too much.
She had left me detailed plans, notes, and extra work if needed (I didn’t). Her class was terrific, I had a good time with them and I left a good report. I encountered her in the teachers lounge yesterday and she was telling me how much the kids liked me.
“They even drew a red heart around where you wrote your name on the board!!”. Are you available for next Friday? They have a field trip to the Winchester Mystery House and I’ve seen it so many times and all those stairs are tiring!
Before I could answer, a teacher I had already arranged an assignment with on the same date spoke up: “He’s mine! I reserved him two weeks ago!”
It’s nice to be wanted, but the field trip sounded much more fun than 5th graders…
This Week's Odd Name Update...
Odd kid names for the week:
Vyvy - girl (pronounced Vee-Vee)
Benz - boy
Chanel - girl
Xochili - girl (Pronounced ???)
Vyvy - girl (pronounced Vee-Vee)
Benz - boy
Chanel - girl
Xochili - girl (Pronounced ???)
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Feel Like Dancing?
After a pretty poor start this week, the last two classes (3rd and 5th grades) for the week make me feel like dancing!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Classroom Capitulation...
Just when I think I know how to handle a class, along comes a couple of 6th grade classes to let me know I don’t know shit.
I thought yesterday’s class was pretty loud and out of control, but it was just mildly chaotic compared to today’s class. This teacher is new to the school and this was the first time I’ve taken her class.
While I can’t prove it, it seems that the senior teachers take this as an opportunity to stack the deck in terms of offloading the known rebels into a single class as some sort of hazing ritual for the newly arrived educator. I recognized more than a few memorable slackers and instigators as they entered the room.
I accomplished absolutely nothing related to “education” today. It was simply crowd control and I can’t say I was even good at that.
If my experience today is any indication of how it is every day for this teacher, and some of the kids say it is, then it’s no wonder that she came down with (probably) a stress related case of the shingles after only half way through her first new school year.
I have 3rd graders tomorrow...
I thought yesterday’s class was pretty loud and out of control, but it was just mildly chaotic compared to today’s class. This teacher is new to the school and this was the first time I’ve taken her class.
While I can’t prove it, it seems that the senior teachers take this as an opportunity to stack the deck in terms of offloading the known rebels into a single class as some sort of hazing ritual for the newly arrived educator. I recognized more than a few memorable slackers and instigators as they entered the room.
I accomplished absolutely nothing related to “education” today. It was simply crowd control and I can’t say I was even good at that.
If my experience today is any indication of how it is every day for this teacher, and some of the kids say it is, then it’s no wonder that she came down with (probably) a stress related case of the shingles after only half way through her first new school year.
I have 3rd graders tomorrow...
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Lite January Payday...
The current pay period ended Friday (Dec-26 thru Jan 25). The check for this month will be for just three days work. The month of February is looking better as I already had three days booked when this email arrived today:
(Click to enlarge)
It’s nice to be appreciated.
…and in case you’re wondering, my preference is “Diet Pepsi”.
(Click to enlarge)
It’s nice to be appreciated.
…and in case you’re wondering, my preference is “Diet Pepsi”.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Carnival of Education Virtual Inaugural Ball
While virtually everyone else on the planet seemed to be in Washington this week, the rest of us could only get reservations at the Carnival of Education Inaugural Ball where I invited my good buddy "The Freeze Faker" for show and tell.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Hi-Tech Classroom Substitute...
The job as substitute teacher is difficult at first because there is little or no training provided.
Fortunately, door key use, light switch activation, using a phone, overhead projectors, and using books are all intuitive functions that most people over the age of five can handle without instruction. I would have included operating heat and air conditioning controls to the previous list but there was that one time…but that’s another story.
Over the last year or so, I’ve seen the introduction of some hi-tech gear introduced in the classrooms. In addition to the Apple computers (for some reason IBM/PC’s aren’t so popular) for the kids to use in web searching and reading tests, the document camera is the newest addition to the classroom.
This is the Hi-Tech replacement for the overhead projector that required teachers to make transparency pages to display on one of those pull down movie screens in the front of the classroom. The idea is the same, but this technology displays any image placed under the camera using a high quality video projector.
This major technology leap eliminates the time and materials “making transparencies” step. I’ve encountered these in about a third of the classrooms this year. It’s a positive, direct, intuitive replacement for an older technology (overhead projector). I like it. On the plus side, the video projector can be shared with other devices like…the “SMARTBoard ™”!
A more recent classroom development is the introduction of the “SMARTBoard”. This is the interactive whiteboard replacement. In the simplest use, it’s just a white screen you write on with one of four electronic pens and an eraser. When attached to a computer, it’s an interactive touch screen extension of your computer.
You can see a demo here:
Each teacher receives (or should receive) extensive training on how to operate the board and interface it to the classroom computer. Almost every piece of paper a teacher needs for a lesson can be stored in electronic form and presented using the SMARTBoard.
So, what happens when you have a substitute with no training on the SMARTBoard try and run the class? That’s what I got to find out in last Friday’s in a 4th grade classroom.
The computer was already running (good) when I entered the classroom and the PowerPoint lesson plan was on the computer screen. Fortunately, there was a hard copy paper printout for reference. I did a dry run through the lesson before the kids arrived.
Plan note: Touch the math book picture to start the lesson.
Result: Error screen indicating a broken link to the desired book.
Plan note: Touch the Social Studies book to start at chapter 5.
Result: Social Studies book opened to a template where chapter 5 should have been but wasn’t.
Plan note: Touch worksheet answer spaces one at a time to reveal correct answers.
Result: (that worked ok)
Final score: 33% success
As a result of these problems, I had to scrounge around to find the actual Math and Social Studies books. In a non-tech class, the books should have been stacked on a table with a paper copy of the lesson plan.
After fiddling with the computer in an attempt to “fix” the broken things, I had somehow inadvertently switched windows being displayed on the SMARTBoard and could not figure out how to switch back to just a blank white screen so I could use it as a plain old whiteboard.
It was only after class that I discovered that it was the “document camera” that had controls for which source to use with the projector. Had I found this earlier, I could have selected the DocCam source and placed a sheet of computer paper under the camera for display on the SMARTBoard.
Needless to say this day didn’t go so well…
What would have happened if there had been a power outage during the night? Janitors are notorious for turning off everything in a classroom at the breakers.
Would a substitute know the password to the reboot the computer after a power failure? Would a substitute know how to restart the SMARTBoard application? Would the computer automatically have recovered to the “lesson of the day”? All good questions and I still don’t know the answers.
I imagine that, over time, I’ll get proficient using this new classroom technology but for now, I suppose, it’s no different for those first time users of “THE BOOK”:
Fortunately, door key use, light switch activation, using a phone, overhead projectors, and using books are all intuitive functions that most people over the age of five can handle without instruction. I would have included operating heat and air conditioning controls to the previous list but there was that one time…but that’s another story.
Over the last year or so, I’ve seen the introduction of some hi-tech gear introduced in the classrooms. In addition to the Apple computers (for some reason IBM/PC’s aren’t so popular) for the kids to use in web searching and reading tests, the document camera is the newest addition to the classroom.
This is the Hi-Tech replacement for the overhead projector that required teachers to make transparency pages to display on one of those pull down movie screens in the front of the classroom. The idea is the same, but this technology displays any image placed under the camera using a high quality video projector.
This major technology leap eliminates the time and materials “making transparencies” step. I’ve encountered these in about a third of the classrooms this year. It’s a positive, direct, intuitive replacement for an older technology (overhead projector). I like it. On the plus side, the video projector can be shared with other devices like…the “SMARTBoard ™”!
A more recent classroom development is the introduction of the “SMARTBoard”. This is the interactive whiteboard replacement. In the simplest use, it’s just a white screen you write on with one of four electronic pens and an eraser. When attached to a computer, it’s an interactive touch screen extension of your computer.
You can see a demo here:
Each teacher receives (or should receive) extensive training on how to operate the board and interface it to the classroom computer. Almost every piece of paper a teacher needs for a lesson can be stored in electronic form and presented using the SMARTBoard.
So, what happens when you have a substitute with no training on the SMARTBoard try and run the class? That’s what I got to find out in last Friday’s in a 4th grade classroom.
The computer was already running (good) when I entered the classroom and the PowerPoint lesson plan was on the computer screen. Fortunately, there was a hard copy paper printout for reference. I did a dry run through the lesson before the kids arrived.
Plan note: Touch the math book picture to start the lesson.
Result: Error screen indicating a broken link to the desired book.
Plan note: Touch the Social Studies book to start at chapter 5.
Result: Social Studies book opened to a template where chapter 5 should have been but wasn’t.
Plan note: Touch worksheet answer spaces one at a time to reveal correct answers.
Result: (that worked ok)
Final score: 33% success
As a result of these problems, I had to scrounge around to find the actual Math and Social Studies books. In a non-tech class, the books should have been stacked on a table with a paper copy of the lesson plan.
After fiddling with the computer in an attempt to “fix” the broken things, I had somehow inadvertently switched windows being displayed on the SMARTBoard and could not figure out how to switch back to just a blank white screen so I could use it as a plain old whiteboard.
It was only after class that I discovered that it was the “document camera” that had controls for which source to use with the projector. Had I found this earlier, I could have selected the DocCam source and placed a sheet of computer paper under the camera for display on the SMARTBoard.
Needless to say this day didn’t go so well…
What would have happened if there had been a power outage during the night? Janitors are notorious for turning off everything in a classroom at the breakers.
Would a substitute know the password to the reboot the computer after a power failure? Would a substitute know how to restart the SMARTBoard application? Would the computer automatically have recovered to the “lesson of the day”? All good questions and I still don’t know the answers.
I imagine that, over time, I’ll get proficient using this new classroom technology but for now, I suppose, it’s no different for those first time users of “THE BOOK”:
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Friday, January 09, 2009
Freeze Faker…
I subbed a 4th grade class last Wednesday. Mostly good kids with the usual few “characters” in the mix. Nothing out of the ordinary except for…“Freeze Faker”.
The lesson was pretty straight forward, single page worksheet:
"...Read the story and highlight the title in green, highlight explanations in yellow and highlight facts in pink. You can work in table groups"
FF: Do I have to work with my table group?
Me: If you want to work by yourself, go for it!
After a little while, one of the narcs at his table quietly notifies me that FF was doing it all wrong and was now bothering them to copy their work. So I wander over to see what the situation was. I take a peek over FF's shoulder to see that everything, title, explanations and facts on his work sheet are hi-lited in green, where his table mates are making use of all three colors on theirs.
Me: Ok, FF, what's the problem here?
FF: They won't let me copy their papers!
Me: (thinking: WTF??) You said you wanted to do it alone. Why do you want to copy theirs?
FF: Well, I don't know what to do.
Me: I see that you marked everything on your paper in green. Is that what the instructions say?
FF: I don't know.
Me: Were you listening when we read the instructions together?
FF: (no answer)
Me: Well, let's read the instructions again, shall we?
No answer, no movement to pick up the worksheet, he's staring straight ahead across the table and not looking at me.
Me: FF, let's read the instructions together so you know what to do.
No reaction. In fact, he's not moving. No squirming, no fidgeting, no movement at all!
Me: Come on FF, let's go. Pick up the worksheet and let's read together ok?
Nothing!
Other Kid: He's frozen. He does that sometimes. The teacher has to make a loud sound to unfreeze him.
I make a few more unsuccessful attempts to communicate but nothing works. One of the other kids claps his hands and FF looks startled and starts looking around.
Oh, brother! I got kid with one of those weird three-letter acronym-istic, conditions that no one told me about.
Now that he's listening again, I start over in attempting to get him back on track with the lesson at hand. He freezes up on me again. He's holding his hands still as stone, in front of him, just a couple of inches off the table.
I walk around to the other side of the table so we're face to face and I notice something odd. I move a little left and then back a little right, then left again.
Me: You know, FF, it's amazing. Everything is frozen. No reaction whatever.
FF: (no answer)
Me: Nothing moving...except your EYES!! They're following me!
FF: (Slight twitch at the corner of the mouth)
I lean slowly across the table getting nearer and nearer, watching his eyes start to cross as I'm almost nose to nose with FF.
Me: (whispering) You're FAKING, aren't you!
FF: (Busts out laughing)
The lesson was pretty straight forward, single page worksheet:
"...Read the story and highlight the title in green, highlight explanations in yellow and highlight facts in pink. You can work in table groups"
FF: Do I have to work with my table group?
Me: If you want to work by yourself, go for it!
After a little while, one of the narcs at his table quietly notifies me that FF was doing it all wrong and was now bothering them to copy their work. So I wander over to see what the situation was. I take a peek over FF's shoulder to see that everything, title, explanations and facts on his work sheet are hi-lited in green, where his table mates are making use of all three colors on theirs.
Me: Ok, FF, what's the problem here?
FF: They won't let me copy their papers!
Me: (thinking: WTF??) You said you wanted to do it alone. Why do you want to copy theirs?
FF: Well, I don't know what to do.
Me: I see that you marked everything on your paper in green. Is that what the instructions say?
FF: I don't know.
Me: Were you listening when we read the instructions together?
FF: (no answer)
Me: Well, let's read the instructions again, shall we?
No answer, no movement to pick up the worksheet, he's staring straight ahead across the table and not looking at me.
Me: FF, let's read the instructions together so you know what to do.
No reaction. In fact, he's not moving. No squirming, no fidgeting, no movement at all!
Me: Come on FF, let's go. Pick up the worksheet and let's read together ok?
Nothing!
Other Kid: He's frozen. He does that sometimes. The teacher has to make a loud sound to unfreeze him.
I make a few more unsuccessful attempts to communicate but nothing works. One of the other kids claps his hands and FF looks startled and starts looking around.
Oh, brother! I got kid with one of those weird three-letter acronym-istic, conditions that no one told me about.
Now that he's listening again, I start over in attempting to get him back on track with the lesson at hand. He freezes up on me again. He's holding his hands still as stone, in front of him, just a couple of inches off the table.
I walk around to the other side of the table so we're face to face and I notice something odd. I move a little left and then back a little right, then left again.
Me: You know, FF, it's amazing. Everything is frozen. No reaction whatever.
FF: (no answer)
Me: Nothing moving...except your EYES!! They're following me!
FF: (Slight twitch at the corner of the mouth)
I lean slowly across the table getting nearer and nearer, watching his eyes start to cross as I'm almost nose to nose with FF.
Me: (whispering) You're FAKING, aren't you!
FF: (Busts out laughing)
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
What a Difference Four Years Make...
Global Warming?
September 16, 2005
Global warming 'past the point of no return'!!!
"...The greatest fear is that the Arctic has reached a "tipping point" beyond which nothing can reverse the continual loss of sea ice and with it the massive land glaciers of Greenland, which will raise sea levels dramatically."
January 1, 2009
Sea Ice Ends Year at Same Level as 1979
"...Each year, millions of square kilometers of sea ice melt and refreeze. However, the mean ice anomaly -- defined as the seasonally-adjusted difference between the current value and the average from 1979-2000, varies much more slowly. That anomaly now stands at just under zero, a value identical to one recorded at the end of 1979, the year satellite record-keeping began."
Solved!!
Now, can we dump this silly fad and get on with the next one?
September 16, 2005
Global warming 'past the point of no return'!!!
"...The greatest fear is that the Arctic has reached a "tipping point" beyond which nothing can reverse the continual loss of sea ice and with it the massive land glaciers of Greenland, which will raise sea levels dramatically."
January 1, 2009
Sea Ice Ends Year at Same Level as 1979
"...Each year, millions of square kilometers of sea ice melt and refreeze. However, the mean ice anomaly -- defined as the seasonally-adjusted difference between the current value and the average from 1979-2000, varies much more slowly. That anomaly now stands at just under zero, a value identical to one recorded at the end of 1979, the year satellite record-keeping began."
Solved!!
Now, can we dump this silly fad and get on with the next one?
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Here's to a Better New Year!
Happy New Year 2009!! (...hopefully better than 2008)
Uncle Jay's year end review...
Uncle Jay's year end review...
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Congressional Automotive!
New for 2012! The new and approved (approval pending the next election) Pelosi GTxi SS/RT!!
My favorite feature: "...the standard three speaker, fairness, octophonic, FM low band sound system"... it only gets NPR
Credit to: http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/
My favorite feature: "...the standard three speaker, fairness, octophonic, FM low band sound system"... it only gets NPR
Credit to: http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Merry Christmas Light Show - 2008
It appears that the subbing jobs for 2008 have ended and will resume in Jan/2009 so now it's time to sit back and enjoy the rest of the year.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Rocks in My Pockets!
I knew I shouldn’t have made the call, but subbing assignments have been a little light this month. I had already checked the subbing line a few times Tuesday afternoon and and into the evening without success. I decided to make one last attempt before I went to bed at midnight.
The assignment was for 2nd grade the next morning at 7:30am. Since this assignment wasn’t posted when I checked at 10:00pm, I knew there was a high probably that this was a last minute deal and unless the school requires teachers to plan for such an eventuality (…yes, there ARE a few that do), there is a high probability that I’ll be walking in without a lesson plan.
I stalled for time, by replaying the assignment description while trying to decide if I really wanted to take that chance. The desire for a bump in the paycheck won out and so it was that I arrived at school the next morning 15 minutes late. The sub line hadn’t been updated to this year’s earlier starting schedule.
No lesson plan. Not only that, there were no books in the kids desks either.
No reading or math practice books that I could assign as a time killer. The teacher had ripped all the pages out of all 20 sets of reading and math practice books with the separate piles of each page in file folders that she used to make daily “work packets”.
Unfortunately for me, it looked like she makes these sets of “work packets” only one day in advance. There was evidence that she was out the two previous days and one of the subs had already used the single advanced prepared set on Tuesday. There was none prepared for today.
With no plan, I was unaware that this class “switches” with a different class for science until the teacher I was supposed to switch with asked me what time I wanted to do it. She didn’t quite believe me that I didn’t have any material for a science lesson until she went looking for books in the room.
Finding none, she gave me a text from her class to “read to them”. With her help and a copy of the current bell schedule, I had only a few minutes to get a general plan in place before I was to pick up the kids.
The bell rang for start of class and I went looking to pick up my class in the back playground where I could see classes lining up.
Not finding “my class”, I was told that the 2nd graders line up in the Kinder playground…on the other side of the campus! That item of information would have been handy on a lesson plan.
I’m exhausted by the time the first recess comes. The stacks of worksheets I’m pulling from her folder stash are coming up a couple short when I pass them out, so I have to start pre-counting material before I start handing it out.
The first recess ends, so I went to pick up the kids on the Kinder playground only to discover that the 2nd graders only line up there in morning. Of course, my kids are the only ones left standing in the back playground when I finally get there. That’s another planning item that would have been useful information.
Now, at this point, you may be wondering about the title of this post and what it has to do with pockets and rocks.
Well, the last activity of the day for 2nd graders is P.E. The missing plan should have read, “You will be monitoring the special ed class, while the 2nd graders perform P.E. with Ms. S” but…there was no plan.
I’m watching 1st graders play some form of dodge ball without rules, when I notice one of the special ed aides chasing one particular kid around the blacktop trying to prevent him from eating pieces of gravel he’s finding on the ground.
Trying to help as much as I can, I hold out my hand to have the little rock eater surrender whatever he’s got in his tight little fist. After disgorging several handfuls, he’s modified the game where he just picks up rocks to give me. A couple of times if I’m distracted watching some of the other kids, he just sneaks up behind me and dumps the rocks in my side pants pocket.
The rocks in my pocket will be a reminder about what kind of rocks I must have in my head to pick up another late night substitute assignment.
But...at least it wasn't squirrels!
From one of my granddaughter's favorite shows:
The assignment was for 2nd grade the next morning at 7:30am. Since this assignment wasn’t posted when I checked at 10:00pm, I knew there was a high probably that this was a last minute deal and unless the school requires teachers to plan for such an eventuality (…yes, there ARE a few that do), there is a high probability that I’ll be walking in without a lesson plan.
I stalled for time, by replaying the assignment description while trying to decide if I really wanted to take that chance. The desire for a bump in the paycheck won out and so it was that I arrived at school the next morning 15 minutes late. The sub line hadn’t been updated to this year’s earlier starting schedule.
No lesson plan. Not only that, there were no books in the kids desks either.
No reading or math practice books that I could assign as a time killer. The teacher had ripped all the pages out of all 20 sets of reading and math practice books with the separate piles of each page in file folders that she used to make daily “work packets”.
Unfortunately for me, it looked like she makes these sets of “work packets” only one day in advance. There was evidence that she was out the two previous days and one of the subs had already used the single advanced prepared set on Tuesday. There was none prepared for today.
With no plan, I was unaware that this class “switches” with a different class for science until the teacher I was supposed to switch with asked me what time I wanted to do it. She didn’t quite believe me that I didn’t have any material for a science lesson until she went looking for books in the room.
Finding none, she gave me a text from her class to “read to them”. With her help and a copy of the current bell schedule, I had only a few minutes to get a general plan in place before I was to pick up the kids.
The bell rang for start of class and I went looking to pick up my class in the back playground where I could see classes lining up.
Not finding “my class”, I was told that the 2nd graders line up in the Kinder playground…on the other side of the campus! That item of information would have been handy on a lesson plan.
I’m exhausted by the time the first recess comes. The stacks of worksheets I’m pulling from her folder stash are coming up a couple short when I pass them out, so I have to start pre-counting material before I start handing it out.
The first recess ends, so I went to pick up the kids on the Kinder playground only to discover that the 2nd graders only line up there in morning. Of course, my kids are the only ones left standing in the back playground when I finally get there. That’s another planning item that would have been useful information.
Now, at this point, you may be wondering about the title of this post and what it has to do with pockets and rocks.
Well, the last activity of the day for 2nd graders is P.E. The missing plan should have read, “You will be monitoring the special ed class, while the 2nd graders perform P.E. with Ms. S” but…there was no plan.
I’m watching 1st graders play some form of dodge ball without rules, when I notice one of the special ed aides chasing one particular kid around the blacktop trying to prevent him from eating pieces of gravel he’s finding on the ground.
Trying to help as much as I can, I hold out my hand to have the little rock eater surrender whatever he’s got in his tight little fist. After disgorging several handfuls, he’s modified the game where he just picks up rocks to give me. A couple of times if I’m distracted watching some of the other kids, he just sneaks up behind me and dumps the rocks in my side pants pocket.
The rocks in my pocket will be a reminder about what kind of rocks I must have in my head to pick up another late night substitute assignment.
But...at least it wasn't squirrels!
From one of my granddaughter's favorite shows:
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Friday, December 05, 2008
This Test Has All The Answers!
I had a super great class of 4th graders today. The only glitch came during the math assessment test today.
Everyone had their anti-cheating privacy folders up and ready to go for the test. I handed out the test and sat back anticipating a quiet half hour when one hand went up almost immediately. The boy said he must have gotten the teachers answer copy because all the right answers were already circled.
I picked up his test paper and didn’t immediately see any circled answers. While I was trying to figure out just what this kid was talking about, a couple more kids held up their tests and said the same thing.
“We see the answers!”
I picked up those tests and after close examination and angling the exam juuussst right, I could indeed see a faint blue circled outline around the multiple choice answers on the front page. Checking page two of the test, I could make out about half of the answers there also.
Nothing much I could do now but note on my end of day report the problem. I suggested that the kids pretend the answers weren’t already there and “show work” in getting the answer they chose.
It seems that while copier technology is getting better at picking up even the slightest color shades that didn’t show with older machines, the testing standards books haven’t changed with them to make sure the answer sheet isn’t visible when copied.
P.S. One of the girls drew a portrait of me in class holding my clipboard. I thought it was close enough for me use as my blogger “About Me” profile picture. Check it out and tell me what you think.
Everyone had their anti-cheating privacy folders up and ready to go for the test. I handed out the test and sat back anticipating a quiet half hour when one hand went up almost immediately. The boy said he must have gotten the teachers answer copy because all the right answers were already circled.
I picked up his test paper and didn’t immediately see any circled answers. While I was trying to figure out just what this kid was talking about, a couple more kids held up their tests and said the same thing.
“We see the answers!”
I picked up those tests and after close examination and angling the exam juuussst right, I could indeed see a faint blue circled outline around the multiple choice answers on the front page. Checking page two of the test, I could make out about half of the answers there also.
Nothing much I could do now but note on my end of day report the problem. I suggested that the kids pretend the answers weren’t already there and “show work” in getting the answer they chose.
It seems that while copier technology is getting better at picking up even the slightest color shades that didn’t show with older machines, the testing standards books haven’t changed with them to make sure the answer sheet isn’t visible when copied.
P.S. One of the girls drew a portrait of me in class holding my clipboard. I thought it was close enough for me use as my blogger “About Me” profile picture. Check it out and tell me what you think.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Five Ws…
They had just returned from the five day Thanksgiving holiday. Monday's very multi-cultural 3rd graders were excited about the upcoming holidays. When it came time for the social studies assignment to write an outline for a newspaper article, they had a worksheet with the famous “Five Ws of Journalism” to fill in.
“What do we write about?”
I’ve always found that it’s much easier to write about something I’m interested in rather than an assigned, boring topic I know little about. Since the lesson plan was a little vague about answers to the kids’ question, I suggested writing about Thanksgiving or the upcoming Christmas holiday. Santa Claus is always a favorite “Who”.
Who is the story about?
What happens?
When is it going to happen?
Where is it happening?
Why is it celebrated?
How is it celebrated?
“We don’t have Christmas. We’re Jewish”
How about Hanukah, then?
“I’m Indian and we don’t do Christmas either. Can I write a story about something else?”
My knowledge of world cultural celebrations is pretty much exhausted so I allowed anyone who didn’t want to do the holiday theme choose something else as long as it followed the “Five Ws” format.
“Indian kid again: I wanna do a story about the Mumbai bombings. I already know the ‘Who’ ”
Fortunately, that’s about the time I noticed that the “News Outline” on the lesson plan was related to the earlier reading lesson on the “First Thanksgiving”. The kids were supposed to pretend to be a reporter attending and reporting on that event.
CTL-ALT-DELETE faulty instruction from the substitute teacher! Reset the topic and get back on a less controversial track.
(…although, the bombing story from a 3rd grader's viewpoint would be more interesting)
“What do we write about?”
I’ve always found that it’s much easier to write about something I’m interested in rather than an assigned, boring topic I know little about. Since the lesson plan was a little vague about answers to the kids’ question, I suggested writing about Thanksgiving or the upcoming Christmas holiday. Santa Claus is always a favorite “Who”.
Who is the story about?
What happens?
When is it going to happen?
Where is it happening?
Why is it celebrated?
How is it celebrated?
“We don’t have Christmas. We’re Jewish”
How about Hanukah, then?
“I’m Indian and we don’t do Christmas either. Can I write a story about something else?”
My knowledge of world cultural celebrations is pretty much exhausted so I allowed anyone who didn’t want to do the holiday theme choose something else as long as it followed the “Five Ws” format.
“Indian kid again: I wanna do a story about the Mumbai bombings. I already know the ‘Who’ ”
Fortunately, that’s about the time I noticed that the “News Outline” on the lesson plan was related to the earlier reading lesson on the “First Thanksgiving”. The kids were supposed to pretend to be a reporter attending and reporting on that event.
CTL-ALT-DELETE faulty instruction from the substitute teacher! Reset the topic and get back on a less controversial track.
(…although, the bombing story from a 3rd grader's viewpoint would be more interesting)
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
No Bailout For Me...
Fred Thompson discloses why I won't qualify for a $illion $ollar government bailout.
I didn't screw up big enough!!!!
If YOU by chance DID screw up big time, just fill out and submit the following form for your reward:
(click to enlarge)
Form via: Carpe Diem
I didn't screw up big enough!!!!
If YOU by chance DID screw up big time, just fill out and submit the following form for your reward:
(click to enlarge)
Form via: Carpe Diem
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Julie Amero Is Free At Last…
…but justice wasn’t served.
If you don’t remember the case of the substitute teacher Julie Amero and what “crime” she was convicted of take a look at the SunBelt Breaking News for a great summary of the case. I’ve also had a few things to say on the issue.
Short story:
Julie was substitute teaching in a class where an unsecured computer started showing porno popup ads after she tried to access her email account in class. This incident escalated into a criminal case against her which resulted in her conviction and sentencing of up to 40 yrs in prison.
With new evidence from computer professionals, the original case and verdict was overturned. I believe that the prosecutor was gunning for higher office and decided that losing this case would hurt his career so a new trial was ordered.
When it became evident that a retrial and conviction was going to be extremely hard to get in the face of “true expert” testimony, the court delayed any new trial date.
Instead of doing the right thing and dismissing the case outright in the face of overwhelming new evidence in Julie’s favor, the prosecutor still pressed for re-trial.
In the ultimate of arrogance and reluctance to admit that they were totally wrong, the prosecution and the court pressured Julie to plea bargain to a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct, revoked her substitute teaching license and fined her $100.
Even with the close of the case, the local paper reported:
“…The decision by both parties to resolve the matter with the plea arrangement is appropriate and just. Relinquishing her teaching license and paying a small fine for failing to safeguard students entrusted to her is a more just punishment than pursuing criminal charges and jail time.”
Appropriate and just? You gotta be kidding me!
What would have been “appropriate and just” would be exonerating Julie of all the charges, issuing Julie a public apology and having the school district pay any and all legal fees and fines for “not safeguarding students and employees” for lack of common sense.
...But that’s just me!
If you don’t remember the case of the substitute teacher Julie Amero and what “crime” she was convicted of take a look at the SunBelt Breaking News for a great summary of the case. I’ve also had a few things to say on the issue.
Short story:
Julie was substitute teaching in a class where an unsecured computer started showing porno popup ads after she tried to access her email account in class. This incident escalated into a criminal case against her which resulted in her conviction and sentencing of up to 40 yrs in prison.
With new evidence from computer professionals, the original case and verdict was overturned. I believe that the prosecutor was gunning for higher office and decided that losing this case would hurt his career so a new trial was ordered.
When it became evident that a retrial and conviction was going to be extremely hard to get in the face of “true expert” testimony, the court delayed any new trial date.
Instead of doing the right thing and dismissing the case outright in the face of overwhelming new evidence in Julie’s favor, the prosecutor still pressed for re-trial.
In the ultimate of arrogance and reluctance to admit that they were totally wrong, the prosecution and the court pressured Julie to plea bargain to a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct, revoked her substitute teaching license and fined her $100.
Even with the close of the case, the local paper reported:
“…The decision by both parties to resolve the matter with the plea arrangement is appropriate and just. Relinquishing her teaching license and paying a small fine for failing to safeguard students entrusted to her is a more just punishment than pursuing criminal charges and jail time.”
Appropriate and just? You gotta be kidding me!
What would have been “appropriate and just” would be exonerating Julie of all the charges, issuing Julie a public apology and having the school district pay any and all legal fees and fines for “not safeguarding students and employees” for lack of common sense.
...But that’s just me!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Farts Strong Enough to Kill Computers?
...at least that's what I thought I read, but just like in those infomercials for miracle "Shamoo Towels", there's MORE!
___
STUART, Fla. – A student at a Florida school has been arrested after authorities said he was "passing gas" and turned off his classmates' computers. According to a report released Friday by the Martin County Sheriff's Office, the 13-year-old boy "continually disrupted his classroom environment" by intentionally breaking wind. He then shut off some computers other students were using.
The Spectrum Junior-Senior High School was arrested Nov. 4.
A school resource officer placed the boy under arrest after he confessed about his behavior, according to the report. He was charged with disruption of school function and released to his mother.
___
Information from: The Stuart News, http://www.tcpalm.com
The official police report -> http://blogs.tampabay.com/schools/files/Martinreport.pdf
Just coincidentally, I was in a 3rd grade classroom yesterday where I ran across the following book: The Gas We Pass - The Story of Farts.
The perfect Christmas gift for someone special I know!
___
STUART, Fla. – A student at a Florida school has been arrested after authorities said he was "passing gas" and turned off his classmates' computers. According to a report released Friday by the Martin County Sheriff's Office, the 13-year-old boy "continually disrupted his classroom environment" by intentionally breaking wind. He then shut off some computers other students were using.
The Spectrum Junior-Senior High School was arrested Nov. 4.
A school resource officer placed the boy under arrest after he confessed about his behavior, according to the report. He was charged with disruption of school function and released to his mother.
___
Information from: The Stuart News, http://www.tcpalm.com
The official police report -> http://blogs.tampabay.com/schools/files/Martinreport.pdf
Just coincidentally, I was in a 3rd grade classroom yesterday where I ran across the following book: The Gas We Pass - The Story of Farts.
The perfect Christmas gift for someone special I know!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tell Us a Story…
The subbing assignments have been pretty light the last couple of weeks. I subbed only one day last week and a half day so far this week.
Yesterday’s 5th/6th combo class was the half day class. Most of the kids in the class know me from the previous years when I subbed their 2nd, 3rd and 4th grade classrooms so it wasn’t unexpected when they asked me to tell the story about the “bad class” again even though all of them had heard it before.
Instead I told them a story that my daughter told me a couple of days ago about my sweet little granddaughter.
My daughter was doing housework and not really paying attention to what 4yr-old Paige was singing while playing with her toys. But after a while the song finally got her attention because of the monotonous lyric of the tune. Listening closer, she heard my sweet little granddaughter singing to herself a one word tune that sounded something like:
“dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit…”
Astonished, my daughter asked her sweet little girl where she heard that word.
Paige: I dunno…
Mom: Well, it’s not a nice word so let’s not say it anymore, ok?
Paige: ok…
Mom was thinking she must have picked it up at pre-school and had several tot suspects in mind when she remembered something that happened last week.
They were visiting some friends in Boston who have a little boy about the same age as Paige. Near the end of the trip, the “guys” decided to go golfing and take the kids with them.
Knowing full well how Mike is at the Sharks hockey games and probably golfing, she had a new prime suspect. She would be waiting when he got home from work to have a little talk about “acceptable language”.
(P.S. The kids practically fell on the floor laughing when I tried to imitate the song for them)
Yesterday’s 5th/6th combo class was the half day class. Most of the kids in the class know me from the previous years when I subbed their 2nd, 3rd and 4th grade classrooms so it wasn’t unexpected when they asked me to tell the story about the “bad class” again even though all of them had heard it before.
Instead I told them a story that my daughter told me a couple of days ago about my sweet little granddaughter.
My daughter was doing housework and not really paying attention to what 4yr-old Paige was singing while playing with her toys. But after a while the song finally got her attention because of the monotonous lyric of the tune. Listening closer, she heard my sweet little granddaughter singing to herself a one word tune that sounded something like:
“dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit…”
Astonished, my daughter asked her sweet little girl where she heard that word.
Paige: I dunno…
Mom: Well, it’s not a nice word so let’s not say it anymore, ok?
Paige: ok…
Mom was thinking she must have picked it up at pre-school and had several tot suspects in mind when she remembered something that happened last week.
They were visiting some friends in Boston who have a little boy about the same age as Paige. Near the end of the trip, the “guys” decided to go golfing and take the kids with them.
Knowing full well how Mike is at the Sharks hockey games and probably golfing, she had a new prime suspect. She would be waiting when he got home from work to have a little talk about “acceptable language”.
(P.S. The kids practically fell on the floor laughing when I tried to imitate the song for them)
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
John Quarles…
The year is 1999.
At 50 years of age, it wasn’t the best time for the layoff to happen. I had already been experiencing signs that age was more than a little factor when looking for work in the software field.
Fortunately, a twenty year history in the software field also generates a pretty good network of friends and associates that can be relied upon to mention your name when the managers are looking to fill a software position in the department.
As a result of one such connection (thanks again, Nels!), I found myself assigned to a well equipped cubicle in what was to be, though I didn’t know it at the time, my last “professional” employment assignment.
It was there that I met a fellow cube dweller. John was also considered one of the “old dudes” even though he was less than a half dozen years younger than me. While we grew up in entirely opposite environments (the streets of Compton, Calif .vs. the sleepy pre-Silicone Valley days of San Jose), we discovered shared interests in books, lunch spots, chess, investing strategies and world views (mostly).
We had adjoining cubes with short walls. While we were assigned different aspects of the same project, it wasn’t long before we got to know and like each other while trading ideas and advice about many aspects of life on and off the job.
It was during the hi-tech bursting bubble days of 2002 that John was selected in one of a continuing series of layoffs (…my turn would come two years later).
John and I kept in touch often via email and phone. Even more so when it was my turn to hit the streets. At first, we would email each other possible leads and contacts for possible jobs. Even after I decided to retire, we would check in with each other and arrange to meet for lunch to trade bags of paperback books and catch up on the latest intel in the programming job search world.
Always optimistic, John never gave up the hope that the economy would turn and he’d be able to catch up on the mounting debts that were accruing. John would do anything he could to get back into a programming position. He even started working part time for a start-up company for the “experience” and a promise of a paycheck “someday”. After the start-up went belly-up last year, a mutual friend was able to get him an interview and a paying job in computer tech. After several long and difficult years, John was optimistic about his future again.
So it was an absolute shock when I got a call from a mutual friend last week to hear that John had a heart attack and died at work on November 4, 2008.
I’ll attend his memorial tomorrow afternoon. I will send a condolence card to the family but I don’t know what else to write that fits on one tiny card.
“I sorry for your loss. He will be missed.” just doesn’t seem to cover it.
…Mark
At 50 years of age, it wasn’t the best time for the layoff to happen. I had already been experiencing signs that age was more than a little factor when looking for work in the software field.
Fortunately, a twenty year history in the software field also generates a pretty good network of friends and associates that can be relied upon to mention your name when the managers are looking to fill a software position in the department.
As a result of one such connection (thanks again, Nels!), I found myself assigned to a well equipped cubicle in what was to be, though I didn’t know it at the time, my last “professional” employment assignment.
It was there that I met a fellow cube dweller. John was also considered one of the “old dudes” even though he was less than a half dozen years younger than me. While we grew up in entirely opposite environments (the streets of Compton, Calif .vs. the sleepy pre-Silicone Valley days of San Jose), we discovered shared interests in books, lunch spots, chess, investing strategies and world views (mostly).
We had adjoining cubes with short walls. While we were assigned different aspects of the same project, it wasn’t long before we got to know and like each other while trading ideas and advice about many aspects of life on and off the job.
It was during the hi-tech bursting bubble days of 2002 that John was selected in one of a continuing series of layoffs (…my turn would come two years later).
John and I kept in touch often via email and phone. Even more so when it was my turn to hit the streets. At first, we would email each other possible leads and contacts for possible jobs. Even after I decided to retire, we would check in with each other and arrange to meet for lunch to trade bags of paperback books and catch up on the latest intel in the programming job search world.
Always optimistic, John never gave up the hope that the economy would turn and he’d be able to catch up on the mounting debts that were accruing. John would do anything he could to get back into a programming position. He even started working part time for a start-up company for the “experience” and a promise of a paycheck “someday”. After the start-up went belly-up last year, a mutual friend was able to get him an interview and a paying job in computer tech. After several long and difficult years, John was optimistic about his future again.
So it was an absolute shock when I got a call from a mutual friend last week to hear that John had a heart attack and died at work on November 4, 2008.
I’ll attend his memorial tomorrow afternoon. I will send a condolence card to the family but I don’t know what else to write that fits on one tiny card.
“I sorry for your loss. He will be missed.” just doesn’t seem to cover it.
…Mark
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