Public Speaking...

"The ability to clearly communicate ideas to clients and colleagues is a rare skill, yet one that often makes the difference in whether or not a great concept succeeds."

• William Hewlett, co-founder Hewlett-Packard

Fear of public speaking is number two right behind the fear of death. Or is it the other way around? It would be at least a close tie for me.

Speaking with clients and colleagues in small groups of 4-5 is one thing but public speaking in large groups is something else. It’s something I don’t do if I can avoid it.

Knowing this, my wife Claudette is surprised that I can walk into a classroom of 20-30 elementary school kids I haven’t met before, execute a lesson plan with only 30 minutes of preparation, and survive the experience without major mental trauma. She has said several times that she just couldn’t do it.

She can, and has on several occasions, got up in front of a couple hundred people in church to deliver a sermon as the quest speaker when our pastor is away.

Now THAT would cause me major trauma. I admire her fortitude and courage to research, write, plan, practice and deliver a “public speech” in church. It isn’t something I would ever voluntarily do.

Between the two of us, we make one pretty good communicator. I just like my audience a bit shorter.

30 Days...

The wife and I are usually late to clue in on most of the really new hot T.V. shows that come out every year. There are so many choices that if the premise doesn’t immediately appeal, we usually don’t give it a try.

We didn’t get hooked on “24” until after the first season was over. The premise didn’t sound all that great (“A 24-hour day presented in real time”), but our daughter-in-law really recommended it so we took a chance.

We caught up by renting the first season DVD’s from NetFlix and just about couldn’t do anything else until we finished it in about four days. It was that good!

Then we dumped our cable company and were exposed to TIVO from DirectTv. I originally thought I was simply replacing the VCR with a tapeless substitute. How wrong I was. The DVR feature of recording two shows at the same time is a nice upgrade but the real surprise was how well the software in this thing functions.

Since I come from that software engineering background, I really appreciate how intuitive and reliable this machine is to operate. In addition, this machine has a feature called “Tivo Picks” that I initially didn’t think I’d come to like or appreciate.

The software analyzes the types of programs you record and watch. It then records other shows that it guesses you might also like. When we run out of “our” list, we check the machines suggestions.

To our surprise, there have been several “suggested” shows that we turned into “favorites”. This seasons “Tivo picks” have some real potential keepers in ("Eureka": Area 51 in small town Americana) along with some real early losers ("Dead Like Me": Slacker H.S. grad gets hit by a space junk toilet seat to become a Grim Reaper).

Fortunately, the keepers can be rated “thumbs up” while the losers can be rated “thumbs down” to fine tune the Tivo box on future picks. It works really well for us.

Because we’ve been “tuning” the Tivo box for a couple of years, it no longer suggests any reality shows like "30-Days". It was only a fluke that I saw the promo ad: “An unemployed American ventures to India for 30 days to observe the effects of job outsourcing on the Indian culture”.

I guess expecting Tivo to scan online blogs and resumes might be a bit too "Orwellian"

DAMN IT'S HOT!...

Everyone’s talking about it so it isn’t really news but today something happened that’s never happened before. For the first time in thirty years our thermostat inside the house displayed a “9” in the left most digit.

Our house doesn’t have air conditioning (also known as “refrigeration” in some parts of the US) In the thirty years we’ve lived here, we’ve never had a reason to have it.

Until today...

We’re only 45mi over the mountain from the Pacific Ocean. San Jose usually has less than a dozen days a year that gets even near the triple digit range and fewer that actually reach it. Even on those days, we’ve managed to stay relatively cool by opening all the windows at night to trap the night coolness until just after dawn when we button down the hatches to coast the rest of the day. We’ve never reached much more than 85F inside.

Until today...

These last few days we’ve not only been getting to triple digit weather, we’ve been getting RECORD HIGH triple digits.

Last night I sat out on the back deck in swim shorts until well after midnight attempting to cool off. This morning I woke at 05:30 to take a cold shower, returned to bed only to repeat the cold shower at 08:00

With the windows open all night and four fans moving air, we accomplished reducing the inside temperature to only 82F. Usual for our summer would be about 68F.

Until today...

As the day progressed, a friend of mine with a high tech computerized weather station would call and give me outside temperature updates as the day progressed.

His gleeful call from inside his refrigerated house late this afternoon announced a daily high of 106.7F.

As I stood there in the kitchen with the phone to my ear, stripped to nothing but a pair of shorts, breathing a slow shallow breath, a drop of sweat dropped off the tip of my elbow.

That did it. I’m done!

I went and changed into the swim shorts from last night and went out the back door directly into the pool.

Hell! Who needs A/C!

Sell the Property and Burn Down the School...

It seems that getting rid of a bad school principal can be just as complicated in China as it seems to be here.

"...tried to buy off colleagues by cooking dog meat for them after secretly selling off trees around the school, ended up setting fire to classrooms when the meal burst into flames...The local education bureau fined the headmaster 10,000 yuan ($1,252) and suggested he be fired, the newspaper said. "

"Suggested" he be fired? How about fined, fired, arrested and jailed?

CLICK the movie...

I saw a promo for Adam Sandler's new movie CLICK.
Premise sounds vaguely similar: TIVO-Wife

Suppose SONY would send me a free ticket if I suggest they "borrowed" my idea?

...me neither!

Prostitot Clothing Update...

Today's "76^th Edition of the Carnival of Education" is hosted this week by Mike over at the Education in Texas. He’s kindly included my rant about "Prostitot clothing" .

It could be coincident that today I received at least one company response to my open letter:

“Thank you for taking the time to write to The Hershey Company. We will take your comments into consideration. Your interest in our company is appreciated.

This email address is restricted for outgoing messages only. For that reason, please do not respond to this email as the inbox is not monitored.

N.S.
Consumer Representative
…”

Does this sound like positive response to really address the issue or….something less.

I’ll let it stand as stated.

At least Hershey DID respond with an acknowledgement even if it seems somewhat less than encouraging.

Senior Prom Cancelled...

Things have come a long way since I attended the Senior Prom. Evidentially too far for Kellenberg Memorial High School in Uniondale, NY.

The letter from the school's administrator about the reason to eliminate the Senior Prom is an eye opener as is the response to a parent who objects to the cancellation. Both are pretty long letters but worth the "education".

Just some of the highlights:

"...We have in hand a signed contract for the rental of a residential house in Southampton. The details of this lease are as follows:

#1) It is a residential house in a residential area. The owner is leasing it for sixty persons.

#2) The time of lease is from early Saturday morning to noon on Sunday, approximately thirty-six hours.

The cost is $300.00 per student plus $100.00 for “security,” a total of $400.00 per student.

No food or amenities are provided by the owner for the cost.

A down payment of $10,000.00 has already been made, with the following amount of $10,000.00 to be paid by April 1 st. It seems that the total amount of money for the rental of this house is $20,000.00.

There is no indication anywhere that there is any type of supervision. Nor is there any indication of responsibility for liability.

Forty-six Seniors have already paid their down payment for this one particular “house.” They have received no rules or guidelines for these thirty-six hours. We are informed that there are other houses in the Southampton area that are rented under similar conditions
..."

"...Over the years parents have become more active in creating the “prom experience,” from personally signing for houses for a three day drug/sex/alcohol bash, to mothers making motel reservations for their sons and daughters for after prom get-togethers, to fathers signing the contract for Captain Jim’s booze-cruise out of Huntington for an after prom adventure. We have become convinced that some parents support this type of activity, some tolerate it, prefer not to see it, or dismiss it as part of growing up.
..."

"...Then comes the rejoinder: yes, but why let a few spoil it for the rest! First of all, it is not just a few ..."

"...One could use the argument which insurance personnel would advise, namely, why attach your name to something which is so prone to problems and over which you have little effective control. Good logic (and financial policy)! This argument becomes even more cogent, given the rise of a sue-happy population and a cadre of unscrupulous lawyers looking for deep pockets (KMHS has experienced both). However, KMHS is not liability-shy. We are willing to take on the risks for programs that fulfill our educational mission. The culture and practice of the senior prom on Long Island can no longer justify its place in our mission, not just in our liability
..."

"...Long Island, known in some circles as Wrong Island, is an alcohol culture. It starts early and never ends. Because of our affluence and arrogance everything has to be exaggerated - bigger, better, more, over the top. Our students do not learn how to drink socially. Their goal is to get roaring drunk as quickly as possible and boast about it the next day
..."

Prostitots...

No word back yet from Macy's or Hershey's to my open letter but there have been many emails and comments to my previous post .

While an estimated 5% minority feel:

• "Offensive and inappropriate is in the eye of the beholder. I don't see it here"
• "It's just a candy bar, for heavens sake!"
• "Can't wait until the Mounds and Almond Joy tanks come out.."

I'd say that rest are more are in tune with:

• "A shirt with sexual inuendos on a young girl is not appropriate...period"

I have also learned there is even a term for this trend: "Prostitots".

Open Letter To Hershey's and Macy's...

Open Letter To:
Macy’s Federated Stores
-- AND --
The Hershey’s Chocolate Company

From: P.O’ed GrandPa
Subject: Inappropriate Children’s Clothes

Dear Sir(s) (because I’m sure a woman wouldn’t be responsible for this)

My wife and I recently visited a Macy’s store in one of the local Malls here in town. We were dismayed to see a T-Shirt (see attached photos) in the girls section of the children’s dept.

Let me repeat that…in the CHILDREN’S department.

While I’m fully aware that the Hershey Chocolate Company makes a fine product in Reese’s Milk Chocolate, the slogan “2 PEANUT BUTTER CUPS” is totally inappropriate to be displayed on a little girl’s shirt.

I am addressing this complaint to both companies in case I get the “It’s the other guy’s fault” excuse.

To Hershey’s Corp: You should know better. If you don’t then hire a “mom” to review your children sized appropriate promotional apparel to maybe veto certain age inappropriate products.

To Macy’s Corp: I thought you had better class than promote debasing children. When I went back to your store with my camera, I was questioned by the dept. manager about why I was taking photos of this particular product and cautioned that I’d need the store manager’s permission.

Instead, I asked her if she thought there was anything offensive about the shirt in question.

Her response was: “I wouldn’t let my little girl wear it…” and allowed me to leave without further comment. She even suggested I should swing by the “juniors” dept on the way out implying I’d find even worse examples of the same.



Since neither company lists a public email address, I’ll send you guys a link to this message (with photos) while awaiting, hopefully, a positive response result.

What's So Great About America?

During the week of the Fourth of July, TAE looks back to its April/May 2002 issue when Indian-born scholar Dinesh D’Souza shared his thoughts on his adopted country of America.

"...The immigrant cannot help noticing that America is a country where the poor live comparatively well. This fact was dramatized in the 1980s, when CBS television broadcast an anti-Reagan documentary, “People Like Us,” which was intended to show the miseries of the poor during an American recession. The Soviet Union also broadcast the documentary, with the intention of embarrassing the Reagan administration. But it had the opposite effect. Ordinary people across the Soviet Union saw that the poorest Americans had television sets and cars. They arrived at the same conclusion that I witnessed in a friend of mine from Bombay who has been trying unsuccessfully to move to the United States for nearly a decade. I asked him, “Why are you so eager to come to America?” He replied, “Because I really want to live in a country where the poor people are fat.”...

What's So Great About America?

(Thanks to Darren on Right On The Left Coast for the orginal find)

Happy Birthday!...

My life, lately, seems to be imitating a bad parody of the runner in Logan's Run. The powers that be seem to be conspiring to end my “life clock” tomorrow at the age of fifty-plus.

It started earlier in the week with a call from my credit union.

CUguy: Is this Mr. KauiMark?

Me: Yes…

CUguy: Uh, the credit union is auditing its records and we don’t seem to have a membership card for you on file. We need you to come in and fill out a new membership application.

Me: I’ve been a member since the 1970’s. You have my checking and saving accounts. You financed several of our cars. You had our 2nd mortgage loan and currently have our home equity loan. How can there be no records?

CUguy: I really don’t know, but we really need you to submit a new one for our records.

Me: Ok, send a new application form.

CUguy: Before I can do that, I need you to verify your mailing address for me.

Me: (long pause of frustration before I “verify” my own mailing address)

I should have asked if I had to repay my loan if they didn’t have any records, but I didn’t.

So today, my lovely bride (aka: Trophy Wife) for the last 36 years, suggests we go shopping for some shorts for my birthday.

It’s off to the mall and the Macy’s Men’s store. We walk in, I locate the rack of men’s shorts. I pick my size, try them on once to see if I’m still “my size” and we’re good to go. TW makes a couple of comments about how much “not fun” it is to shop with me.

MacyClerk: Cash or credit?

TW: Credit (hands over the Macy card)

MacyClerk: Humm..Can I see your ID please?

TW: Sure! (hands over driver’s license)

MacyClerk: It doesn’t seem to want to take the credit card. Did you get a new card recently?

TW: No, I’ve used this card for more than 20 years. It should work.

MacyClerk: I notice the name on the card is your husband’s. Is this a joint account?

TW: Yes, it’s a joint account but it’s my card. He doesn’t even have a Macy card. It should be ok.

MacyClerk: (Calls manager) I’m sorry, we don’t seem to have you on file in our records. Would you like to open a new charge account now to get a new card?

I feel my life crystal blinking red and black as my life existence is beginning to be erased. We pay cash for the shorts and bail before an errant comet smacks the mall with us still inside.

Arriving safely home, I empty the van while TW retrieves the mail.

TW: Honey? Are you expecting anything from the I.R.S.?

Me: Siiiggghhh…..Ahhh Nooooo. What is it?

TW: A refund check for $702.00!!

Maybe I got a few more hours left on my life clock after all.

Happy Birthday U.S.A!!!

Human Sign...

I always wondered about that guy on the corner.

What qualifications should you list on the resume' ? The pay is better than I thought it would be but I'm not sure if I have enough "enthuasium" for the job.

CraigsList part time employment ad for:

Human Sign
"...Have some fun and make some money on weekends downtown San Jose off of Julian and second street! We need dependable young men or women to direct potential buyers in to our new home development by using "enthuasium" and personality while displaying our signs. Hardworking people only need apply. " $15 per hour 11-4 on Sat/Sun.


But I might be feeling more "enthuasium" for this one:

New Chocolate Store Hiring
"A chocolate connoisseur/lover a plus..."

Transplant surgeons are exempt...

After, yet again, being stuck in the fast lane driving behind "rain man" on a cell phone, I thought I'd rant about cell phone usage in all the wrong places.

But, this guy pretty much covers it all: http://waiterrant.net/?p=328

...and yes, The Waiter and I are the only two people left in the world without a cell phone.

Graphical Blog...

This is the graphical representation of my blog. Looks like some kind of wierd virus doesn't it?

Want to see what your website looks like? Go here and try it out...


http://www.aharef.info/static/htmlgraph/

What do the colors mean?
blue: for links (the A tag)
red: for tables (TABLE, TR and TD tags)
green: for the DIV tag
violet: for images (the IMG tag)
yellow: for forms (FORM, INPUT, TEXTAREA, SELECT and OPTION tags)
orange: for linebreaks and blockquotes (BR, P, and BLOCKQUOTE tags)
black: the HTML tag, the root node
gray: all other tags

By Executive Order...

Summer school break means a few off topic posts of interest.

Since the recent courts seemed to be on the side of developers and tax greedy local governments this is hopefully GREAT news for property owners everywhere.

"...It is the policy of the United States to protect the rights of Americans to their private property, including by limiting the taking of private property by the Federal Government to situations in which the taking is for public use, with just compensation, and for the purpose of benefiting the general public and not merely for the purpose of advancing the economic interest of private parties to be given ownership or use of the property taken..."

http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2006/06/20060623-10.html

What this means is: "By executive order of the president of the United States, you can't take my house to build a casino to increase tax revenue."

If you haven't been following the news and court rulings lately, this was where some local and state governments were headed with the "eminent domain" issue.

Unfortunately this order only applies to the Federal government. Hopefully it will migrate down to the state and local governments as well.


(Thanks Darren for finding this one...)

Bad Boss? Might be worth a free vacation!...

Summer vacation here. Just waiting for the end of the month to collect my last two checks from the school districts. Blogging about the classroom and school experiences will be lean for the next month or so.

For those of you still working for a living, you might want to check the following. It might be worth a free vacation. The hook is that you have to have a REAL sucky job with a real SOB boss.

http://www.workingamerica.org/badboss/

P.S. Suggest you only "read" the storys unless you want to start getting spam mail from the AFL/CIO

The Day I Discovered Electricity...

Over on Fred’s World, he posted about his "Life's Most Embarrassing Moments...".

I even contributed my account of when I had my old VW bug a long time ago. I had a flash thought: "I don't know how many turns lock to lock the steering is. Let's see!"...momentarily forgetting that I was driving 15mph down a residential street at the time.

Fortunately I survived…

This reminded me that not all the important learning occurs in the classroom. If you can survive all the extra curricular life experience learning to reach a certain age, you might be able write about it and hopefully spare others the possibility of avoiding similar “embarrassing moments”.

Now for the dumb things involving electricity. I’m pretty sure this is a “guy thing” but I could be wrong.

A few of us guys were sitting around talking about “nothing” when the topic veered toward the topic of stupid things we did involving electricity. Amazingly we all had a memory our first “shocking” discovery of electricity.

My first “real” discovery of electricity was when I was old enough to know better. I distinctly remember doing some boring homework in my bedroom while fiddling with a chain of paper clips.

Now I’m not sure what the actual thought process was so I don’t remember anything like “possible consequences” coming to mind when I stuck the ends of the paper clip chain into the wall outlet to see if it would glow like a light bulb or something equally stupid.

My next conscious thought, while looking at the blackened plastic outlet cover and my black stained thumbnails holding paper clip shrapnel shards, was not “Wasn’t very smart, was it?” it was more “My parents are gonna KILL me if they find out!”

Fortunately I survived…

But the best story of the group, though, had us choking with laughter. It involved one of those lantern sized batteries for starting model airplanes, some wired alligator clips and his newly installed dental braces. I can still picture his description of “dancing” while trying to disconnect the dangling 2lb battery from his mouth.

Fortunately he survived…

So if I was asked to offer anyone some sage advice, it might be this:
“Consider the possible consequences before acting and you just might survive”

Want to tell your “discovery of electricity” story?
The comments section is open.

Final Tally: 2005-2006.

The 2005-06 school year is complete as of noon today. As expected there were no substitute assignment calls these last three days.

The final tally working for two school districts this year is…

EG – 52 full days, 9 half days
OG – 20 full days, 5 half days

Making for a total of….less see….add the 2 and 0…carry…multiply by πrr (because I can't figure out how to get blogger to do "squared") …calculate the mean value…add in the depreciation discount…AND

We have a grand total of 79 full days in the classroom this year.

Here's how some other subs did this year: http://www.proteacher.net/discussions/showthread.php?t=9847

Time for recess!

Three Biggest Lies...

OG24-G2

Today didn’t start well.

The recorded voice assignment from the teacher listed it as:
3rd grade class at ABC Elementary school for 08:35am to 03:35pm

The recorded information assignment from the district listed it as:
2nd grade class at XYZ Elementary school for 08:15am to 03:15pm

I listened to the recording three times before accepting it. This is the last week before the summer vacation and it might be the last subbing day until August. I just had to figure out where, what and when to do it.

Since I hadn’t subbed at ABC school before, I checked the district map for the location of ABC and discovered that ABC school has been closed since 2003.

Arriving at XYZ elementary at 08:15am, I picked up the attendance sheet, everything else in the teachers box and got the room key for my 2nd grade class.

(District info batting 1.000, teacher info batting 0.000)

The long walk out to the classroom proved fruitless because the office gave me the wrong room key.

After a round trip back to the office and with the right key, I finally gained access to the room and found today’s lesson plan.

The first thing I notice is that there are no books, videos, worksheets to accompany said lesson plan on the desk. A quick look doesn’t reveal any obvious, alternate hiding place of materials I’m supposed to use today.

PLAN:
Item 1: Get the attendance and lunch tickets from my box. (Didn’t notice any “lunch tickets”)
Item 2: Check the math homework. The kids know which one.
Item 3: Give the spelling test. The kids have the list.
Item 4: Math - Do Excel-127. The kids know where it is.

Blessed is the teacher who has a complete lesson plan AND all books, materials to use for the day in plain sight with pages marked.

I trudge back to the office (my 2nd trip in less than 10 minutes) to search for the missing “lunch tickets”. Tickets are found in another teacher’s box just ABOVE hers.

As I’m returning to the classroom, for the second time, I’m reminded of the "The Three Biggest Lies" as it applies it to teacher lesson plans.

1. This is a great class, you just have to be firm
2. The kids know where it is.
-- and --
3. The kids know what to do.

What I usually find is:
1. If it was a “great class”, I wouldn’t have to be “firm”.
2. The kids may know where it usually is, but today it isn’t going to be there.
3. No, they don’t know what to do. If they did, they wouldn’t keep asking me “What do we do we do now?”

As a result, today we discover that:

1. There is confusion about which math homework they were supposed to do. It seems some of the kids had to do makeup work as well as the regular homework.
2. The kids had three different lists of spelling words.
-- and –
3. The kids have to search for the math Excel-127 sheets because they don’t seem to be in the right box.

To top off the day, the teachers lounge soda machine took my money only to deliver a sliced, punctured and foaming Diet Pepsi to the retrieval tray.

TWICE!

Summer School...

OG19-G5/6

Spotted on the bulletin board:
Summer School Substitutes needed! Pay rate: $95/day! Teachers apply in the office.

Translation: “Regular subs need not apply...”