I had a great day with this 5th grade class. No discipline problems other than getting them quite down a few times.
I have found that the magic marker “HOMEWORK” technique a 6th grade teacher showed me (See the Saturday, October 30, 2004 blog entry) REALLY, REALLY works!
The magic marker tapping on the white board, indicating another letter was close to being appended to the partial word that would eventually spell “HOMEWORK” was more than enough to quell this crowd.
Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for the class next door.
This school was built during the previous “new age” method where teaching in an “open” space without walls was felt to be an enriching environment for learning.
When the schools finally realized that this didn’t work AT ALL, temporary walls were added between the classes, but they left pass-through ways between all four of the classrooms in this pod. This means you can hear the classes on both sides if the other class gets a little rowdy.
Within the first 10 minutes while taking attendance, I heard this teacher next door screeching at her class to settle down and be quite. I had to stop the attendance until she was finished.
I must have had a puzzled look on my face because a kid in the front row said “She always screams like that. Every Day!” The outbursts from next door reoccurred several times during the day.
(Note to self. Find out which class that is and append it to my “Never In My Lifetime Sub List”)
With each teacher tirade next door, the kids in my class would snicker, giggle and laugh.
I would then have to tap the whiteboard with the marker and like magic, my kids would quiet down.
Late in the day when I felt they were ignoring the warning signs, I finally printed the first “H” on the board.
You should have heard the stifled cry’s of dismay.
This was the only letter I had to print for the rest of the day.
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
See Habble Es Pan Oly – Part Dos….
I got a call for the same bilingual 2nd grade class I had on the 15th.
I figured this would work out “ok” since I had a good experience last time. But, it seems that familiarity breeds “Hey! We know this guy and he isn’t fierce anymore!”
It was almost like a complete different bunch of kids but I knew they weren’t because they remembered my name from the last time.
It was a constant battle to keep the noise level down enough to finish the day.
During the lunch break, some of the other teachers were complaining about how wound up all the kids were the day before the long holiday.
I hope that was the case because I’d hate to see what a third round with these guys would be like.
Maybe, I’ll avoid assignments for this class until I’m desperate for work. This is also reinforcing my reluctance to take on any “long term” sub jobs for any one class.
I figured this would work out “ok” since I had a good experience last time. But, it seems that familiarity breeds “Hey! We know this guy and he isn’t fierce anymore!”
It was almost like a complete different bunch of kids but I knew they weren’t because they remembered my name from the last time.
It was a constant battle to keep the noise level down enough to finish the day.
During the lunch break, some of the other teachers were complaining about how wound up all the kids were the day before the long holiday.
I hope that was the case because I’d hate to see what a third round with these guys would be like.
Maybe, I’ll avoid assignments for this class until I’m desperate for work. This is also reinforcing my reluctance to take on any “long term” sub jobs for any one class.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Clean Sweep….
This was another no-warning bilingual 2nd grade class. Also a very late morning call. Teacher sounded like she was at deaths door when I got there.
My wife is a fan of a show called “Clean Sweep” where the focus of the show is to locate the house with the most accumulated stuff to de-stuff and re-organize it back to a somewhat human habitat.
This teacher’s desk would be a good candidate for this show.
I knew there was a desk under this mountain of papers, books, bags, cans, boxes and everything else because there was an office chair in front of it. The chair hole, if that’s what the space where your legs were supposed to go when sitting at a desk, was filled and overflowing out beyond the desk with more stuff. Piles of more stuff blocked all the desk drawers.
As a sub, I’m encouraged to leave a note letting the teacher know how my day went. I stood there at the end of the day with my note in hand just wondering where on this “Data Stuff Mountain”, I should leave it.
I decided to leave it on the seat of the chair at the bottom the mountain and left the building.
My wife is a fan of a show called “Clean Sweep” where the focus of the show is to locate the house with the most accumulated stuff to de-stuff and re-organize it back to a somewhat human habitat.
This teacher’s desk would be a good candidate for this show.
I knew there was a desk under this mountain of papers, books, bags, cans, boxes and everything else because there was an office chair in front of it. The chair hole, if that’s what the space where your legs were supposed to go when sitting at a desk, was filled and overflowing out beyond the desk with more stuff. Piles of more stuff blocked all the desk drawers.
As a sub, I’m encouraged to leave a note letting the teacher know how my day went. I stood there at the end of the day with my note in hand just wondering where on this “Data Stuff Mountain”, I should leave it.
I decided to leave it on the seat of the chair at the bottom the mountain and left the building.
Monday, November 22, 2004
Nine Little Birds on a Wire….
Every once in a while something surprising happens and you just have to applaud. That’s what happened in this Kindergarten class today.
The teacher left me some notes on a few songs on CD the kids like to hear during their class. The kids were getting a little restless during an “art” project so I queued up the songs she had indicated and went back to the “teachers chair” in front of the class.
Some of the kids sang along with the first song and the “fidgets” settled somewhat. The second song had about half the class singing along with the tune while coloring nicely.
The surprise was at the start of the third song about something dealing with “nine little birds on a wire”. One of the littlest girls got up and announced in a loud voice, “Come on girls let’s go!”
I thought they were about to make a break for the door or something.
Instead, six or seven of the little girls all lined up in front of me and began singing and line dancing to the song. They were so small but all arms, legs and hands were all in sync to this very energetic hula like performance. Toward the end, even some of the boys joined in.
I was so surprised and they were so cute, I had to applaud at the end. I was tempted to play the song again just to see it one more time.
The teacher left me some notes on a few songs on CD the kids like to hear during their class. The kids were getting a little restless during an “art” project so I queued up the songs she had indicated and went back to the “teachers chair” in front of the class.
Some of the kids sang along with the first song and the “fidgets” settled somewhat. The second song had about half the class singing along with the tune while coloring nicely.
The surprise was at the start of the third song about something dealing with “nine little birds on a wire”. One of the littlest girls got up and announced in a loud voice, “Come on girls let’s go!”
I thought they were about to make a break for the door or something.
Instead, six or seven of the little girls all lined up in front of me and began singing and line dancing to the song. They were so small but all arms, legs and hands were all in sync to this very energetic hula like performance. Toward the end, even some of the boys joined in.
I was so surprised and they were so cute, I had to applaud at the end. I was tempted to play the song again just to see it one more time.
Friday, November 19, 2004
Exposed!......
I was the sub for the long term sub for this 1st grade class. Evidentially, there have been a number of sub’s working this class. From the comments I heard from other teachers, I think the long term sub is due to return to short term sub assignments.
During the break, one of the other 1st grade teachers came to the teachers lounge and handed everyone an “Exposure Notice”. Evidentially one of her kids left after an hour into the lessons with a diagnosis of contagious “Hand, Foot and Mouth” disease (coxsackie virus). Great…I guess this is what they mean by occupational hazard.
The name sounds like that scary “mad cow” stuff. While I’m sure this isn’t anything in the same league, I can’t help visualizing 15-20 kids whirling around the classroom, spewing saliva then collapsing in big heap.
During the break, one of the other 1st grade teachers came to the teachers lounge and handed everyone an “Exposure Notice”. Evidentially one of her kids left after an hour into the lessons with a diagnosis of contagious “Hand, Foot and Mouth” disease (coxsackie virus). Great…I guess this is what they mean by occupational hazard.
The name sounds like that scary “mad cow” stuff. While I’m sure this isn’t anything in the same league, I can’t help visualizing 15-20 kids whirling around the classroom, spewing saliva then collapsing in big heap.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
Last Minute 4th Grade Assignment
There is nothing of unusal interest to say about this last minute assignment. The kids are kids if a little noisier than some.
This class includes a couple of 9 year old wannabe hard cases probably headed to JUVI in the future. It's still too soon to make that call.
(just my non-expert, one shot experience, personal observation)
Besides, what do I know? These two just might end up politicians or priests for all I know.
As of today, they are just two disruptive elements that make my job twice as hard. I shudder to think what a group of five or more like these kids in one class can do to a substitute teacher.
I’m not at all confident I could handle it.
This class includes a couple of 9 year old wannabe hard cases probably headed to JUVI in the future. It's still too soon to make that call.
(just my non-expert, one shot experience, personal observation)
Besides, what do I know? These two just might end up politicians or priests for all I know.
As of today, they are just two disruptive elements that make my job twice as hard. I shudder to think what a group of five or more like these kids in one class can do to a substitute teacher.
I’m not at all confident I could handle it.
Monday, November 15, 2004
See Habble Es Pan Oly??
I arrived at this school early Tuesday morning to sub for a 2nd grade class. The office secretary took one look me and said “You DO know this is a bilingual class, right? Do you speak Spanish?”
I said something like: “Ahhh, that would be..No!. That wasn’t indicated under special notes from the teacher”. At the same time I’m thinking “OOOHHHH….SH*T!!!!”
She hesitated a little before saying: “Oh, I’m sure you’ll do fine”. (Did I hear a little chuckle as I left the office?)
I get the room key and head off to the classroom. In the window of the classroom are a few signs that looked like “Welcome to Ms. S’s class”. At least that’s what I thought it said because I CAN’T READ SPANISH!!! NOT A GOOD SIGN HERE!!! “OOOHHHH….DOUBLE SH*T!!!!”
Entering the classroom, I notice that all the signage and posters on the walls around the classroom are “ALL SPANISH!!” I’m feeling overly warm now and my leg starts twitching.
There is a nice older lady writing on a pad at the teachers’ desk and we introduce ourselves. She is the teacher in the room next door. SHE is writing this teachers lesson plan ON THE FLY!!. OMG!! AN ALL SPANISH CLASS AND NO LESSON PLAN!!!. I am in REAL DEEP DOO-DOO HERE! “OOOHHHH….TRIPLE SH*T!!!!”
She asked me if I was bilingual and could read and write Spanish. (I’m about to bolt out the door at this point, but I stick with it.). I guess I look like I’m a mono-lingual type of guy, of which I AM!!
Reacting to my negative response, she starts crossing some things she just wrote on the lesson plan. I guessed she’s revising the schedule to adjust to this Anglo sub sacrifice that’s about to happen.
I pick up the math book that’s open for today’s lesson. All the instructions are in Spanish. I browse the kids “fun” reading books the kids can use during silent reading time. At least half of these are in English, the rest are, of course, in Spanish.
This nice lady teacher from next door then tells me that she and another teacher will drop in when they can to see how it’s going. She then addresses the 22 kids waiting at the door to explain where their regular teacher was, who I was and informs them that I don’t speak any Spanish.
If that bit of news fazed them, it didn’t show.
With a little trepidation we began out day together with a “Good morning, children!” and I get back a chorus of “Good morning, Mr. Perry”’s
What I discover, is, that ALL these 7 yr olds are truly bilingual enough to deal with me in English and can help each other out when I had a few problems communicating with some of the newer kids.
They are really a bunch of great kids! What a surprise!
While, their reading and writing skills aren’t at the usual level of an all English class, their verbal skills are great in both languages.
I did have teacher visitors, and even the principal at one point, check in from time to time. I could honestly tell them that things were going great.
When reading a lesson story to them in English, I’d stop a few times and ask them a few questions to make sure they understood ok. Occasionally, I’d ask how to say some of the things we were reading about, like lizard, turtle and mouse in Spanish. They got a kick out of my remedial Spanish pronunciations.
When I returned the room key to the office, the secretary asked “How did it go?”
With a self-satisfied smug, I told her “Great!”
…and it WAS!
I said something like: “Ahhh, that would be..No!. That wasn’t indicated under special notes from the teacher”. At the same time I’m thinking “OOOHHHH….SH*T!!!!”
She hesitated a little before saying: “Oh, I’m sure you’ll do fine”. (Did I hear a little chuckle as I left the office?)
I get the room key and head off to the classroom. In the window of the classroom are a few signs that looked like “Welcome to Ms. S’s class”. At least that’s what I thought it said because I CAN’T READ SPANISH!!! NOT A GOOD SIGN HERE!!! “OOOHHHH….DOUBLE SH*T!!!!”
Entering the classroom, I notice that all the signage and posters on the walls around the classroom are “ALL SPANISH!!” I’m feeling overly warm now and my leg starts twitching.
There is a nice older lady writing on a pad at the teachers’ desk and we introduce ourselves. She is the teacher in the room next door. SHE is writing this teachers lesson plan ON THE FLY!!. OMG!! AN ALL SPANISH CLASS AND NO LESSON PLAN!!!. I am in REAL DEEP DOO-DOO HERE! “OOOHHHH….TRIPLE SH*T!!!!”
She asked me if I was bilingual and could read and write Spanish. (I’m about to bolt out the door at this point, but I stick with it.). I guess I look like I’m a mono-lingual type of guy, of which I AM!!
Reacting to my negative response, she starts crossing some things she just wrote on the lesson plan. I guessed she’s revising the schedule to adjust to this Anglo sub sacrifice that’s about to happen.
I pick up the math book that’s open for today’s lesson. All the instructions are in Spanish. I browse the kids “fun” reading books the kids can use during silent reading time. At least half of these are in English, the rest are, of course, in Spanish.
This nice lady teacher from next door then tells me that she and another teacher will drop in when they can to see how it’s going. She then addresses the 22 kids waiting at the door to explain where their regular teacher was, who I was and informs them that I don’t speak any Spanish.
If that bit of news fazed them, it didn’t show.
With a little trepidation we began out day together with a “Good morning, children!” and I get back a chorus of “Good morning, Mr. Perry”’s
What I discover, is, that ALL these 7 yr olds are truly bilingual enough to deal with me in English and can help each other out when I had a few problems communicating with some of the newer kids.
They are really a bunch of great kids! What a surprise!
While, their reading and writing skills aren’t at the usual level of an all English class, their verbal skills are great in both languages.
I did have teacher visitors, and even the principal at one point, check in from time to time. I could honestly tell them that things were going great.
When reading a lesson story to them in English, I’d stop a few times and ask them a few questions to make sure they understood ok. Occasionally, I’d ask how to say some of the things we were reading about, like lizard, turtle and mouse in Spanish. They got a kick out of my remedial Spanish pronunciations.
When I returned the room key to the office, the secretary asked “How did it go?”
With a self-satisfied smug, I told her “Great!”
…and it WAS!
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Kindergarten Week
Well this week seems to be ALL Kindergarten. Monday and today in two different districts and got a call for Friday at the country club school for a half day.
With Thursday a holiday, that only leaves tomorrow a mystery as of tonight.
Kids art for me tends more toward the abstract (i.e. let the kids' draw what they want) where as “real” Kindergarten teachers tend more toward the traditional.
If the teachers plan calls for “draw a picture of the student of the week”, I tell’em have at it!! If their student portraits look like green globs of Swiss cheese on toothpicks, who am I to judge? I’m no art critic! I can’t even draw a crooked line!
The “real” Kindergarten teachers, on the other hand, are very “hands on” in their control of art technique.
“Draw an oval for the head, and then add eyes”. “No Billy, the eyes aren’t even. Start over, please”, Tarique, the hair isn’t supposed to be orange. Change it to brown, please”. “No, No, Allie, the trees are supposed to have leaves, go do it right”
What happened to free expression? No self-respecting “painter” would allow this suppression of artist freedom!!!
At least that’s the way our city fathers justified their expenditure of $500,000 for a supposed sculpture of the Aztec Snake God “Queztalcoatl”. It’s constructed of what looks like three huge blobs of black concrete stacked one on top of the other. The locals have nicknamed it the “pile of dinosaur poop” which is exactly what it looks like.
I found this link for your review: Quetzy
I vote to have a real Kindergarten teacher on the art approval commission for any future acquisitions by our fair city!!!!
With Thursday a holiday, that only leaves tomorrow a mystery as of tonight.
Kids art for me tends more toward the abstract (i.e. let the kids' draw what they want) where as “real” Kindergarten teachers tend more toward the traditional.
If the teachers plan calls for “draw a picture of the student of the week”, I tell’em have at it!! If their student portraits look like green globs of Swiss cheese on toothpicks, who am I to judge? I’m no art critic! I can’t even draw a crooked line!
The “real” Kindergarten teachers, on the other hand, are very “hands on” in their control of art technique.
“Draw an oval for the head, and then add eyes”. “No Billy, the eyes aren’t even. Start over, please”, Tarique, the hair isn’t supposed to be orange. Change it to brown, please”. “No, No, Allie, the trees are supposed to have leaves, go do it right”
What happened to free expression? No self-respecting “painter” would allow this suppression of artist freedom!!!
At least that’s the way our city fathers justified their expenditure of $500,000 for a supposed sculpture of the Aztec Snake God “Queztalcoatl”. It’s constructed of what looks like three huge blobs of black concrete stacked one on top of the other. The locals have nicknamed it the “pile of dinosaur poop” which is exactly what it looks like.
I found this link for your review: Quetzy
I vote to have a real Kindergarten teacher on the art approval commission for any future acquisitions by our fair city!!!!
Saturday, November 06, 2004
The Middle Wife
Received in an email
(By an Anonymous second grade teacher)
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness. Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch and stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant.
"This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."
"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement. "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Now the kid was doing this hysterical duck walk, holding her back and groaning.
"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man."
"They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall. "And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!". This kid has her legs spread and her little hands are miming water flowing away. It was too much!
"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push, and breathe, breathe.' They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they all said was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell-day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.
(By an Anonymous second grade teacher)
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness. Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch and stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant.
"This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."
"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement. "Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Now the kid was doing this hysterical duck walk, holding her back and groaning.
"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man."
"They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall. "And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!". This kid has her legs spread and her little hands are miming water flowing away. It was too much!
"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push, and breathe, breathe.' They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff they all said was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell-day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Down and out for the count...
It isn’t that I am short on opportunities to sub these last two days of this week. The phone has been ringing off the hook day and night for all three of the school districts.
I have had a sore throat and a colorful yellow phlegmy cough since Wednesday afternoon. I decided I received enough from the schools this week.
I have had a sore throat and a colorful yellow phlegmy cough since Wednesday afternoon. I decided I received enough from the schools this week.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Politics In Kindergarten...
Back to the country club school.
It’s the day after the election and all I heard this morning from the kids in my class was “Kerry, Bush this….”, “Bush, Kerry that…”.
Whooo, Whee. Thank God it’s finally over.
It’s a little disconcerting to hear all this from 5 year olds in the two Kindergarten classes I had, when at least half of them are still struggling to make it all the way through writing the alphabet.
I don’t think I even KNEW there was a president when I was 5 and in Kindergarten!
It’s the day after the election and all I heard this morning from the kids in my class was “Kerry, Bush this….”, “Bush, Kerry that…”.
Whooo, Whee. Thank God it’s finally over.
It’s a little disconcerting to hear all this from 5 year olds in the two Kindergarten classes I had, when at least half of them are still struggling to make it all the way through writing the alphabet.
I don’t think I even KNEW there was a president when I was 5 and in Kindergarten!
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
ADD or Class Clowns?
Assignment: Day 2 of the same 5th Grade
Today went pretty much like yesterday only an hour shorter. Short day on Tuesdays.
The “other” teacher came in after class. Evidentially, two teachers switch off teaching this class. She had just come back from her Mediterranean cruise vacation and was scheduled for tomorrow’s class.
She asked me how I did with the ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) kids. I must have looked a little surprised because I didn’t realize that the same “challenging” students described by the first teacher were also the ADD students indicated by her partner.
Funny. I wouldn’t have labeled any of these kids with what I thought was a serious disorder like ADD.
If this is what ADD is, then I know a few guys that we used to know as “class clowns” that would have qualified.
Today went pretty much like yesterday only an hour shorter. Short day on Tuesdays.
The “other” teacher came in after class. Evidentially, two teachers switch off teaching this class. She had just come back from her Mediterranean cruise vacation and was scheduled for tomorrow’s class.
She asked me how I did with the ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) kids. I must have looked a little surprised because I didn’t realize that the same “challenging” students described by the first teacher were also the ADD students indicated by her partner.
Funny. I wouldn’t have labeled any of these kids with what I thought was a serious disorder like ADD.
If this is what ADD is, then I know a few guys that we used to know as “class clowns” that would have qualified.
Monday, November 01, 2004
Challenging ...
Assignment: 5th Grade Frozen District (35 kids)
I got a late morning call for this one. Teacher threw her back out and could hardly stand, but was in the classroom doing the lesson plan for me.
Most of her running conversation for me was about the “challenging” students in the class. Of course they were assigned the front row seats nearest the teacher’s chair.
In case you haven’t guessed, “challenging” isn’t a good thing. I began to wonder just how the teacher threw her back out or had it thrown for her by a “challenging” student.
The last half hour of class was spent mostly trying to keep the noise to be less than the noise in the next classroom of 4-5 combo kids. I figured a tie counts as a win.
The end of day bell rang and I sit back with a sigh of relief and I’m almost outta here!
Except……..
Just as I’m leaving, the office called to say the teacher wouldn’t be in tomorrow either and they wanted me to come back tomorrow. I only agreed if the teacher came back to do a second day lesson plan.
I just hope she’s there tomorrow!.......
I got a late morning call for this one. Teacher threw her back out and could hardly stand, but was in the classroom doing the lesson plan for me.
Most of her running conversation for me was about the “challenging” students in the class. Of course they were assigned the front row seats nearest the teacher’s chair.
In case you haven’t guessed, “challenging” isn’t a good thing. I began to wonder just how the teacher threw her back out or had it thrown for her by a “challenging” student.
The last half hour of class was spent mostly trying to keep the noise to be less than the noise in the next classroom of 4-5 combo kids. I figured a tie counts as a win.
The end of day bell rang and I sit back with a sigh of relief and I’m almost outta here!
Except……..
Just as I’m leaving, the office called to say the teacher wouldn’t be in tomorrow either and they wanted me to come back tomorrow. I only agreed if the teacher came back to do a second day lesson plan.
I just hope she’s there tomorrow!.......
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Last Tursdays Assignment: 6th Grade Frozen District (30 kids)
The power of the pen is quite the experience. Well in this case it’s the power of the whiteboard marker pen.
I arrived at this school and was told the sick teacher came in specifically to do the lesson plan for me and that I could meet with her in the classroom. Thank you Lord!
Ms. S was completing the lesson plan when I met her. She was deleting a couple items of work she felt she had to monitor and was substituting SSR intervals. SSR is teacher lingo for Sustained Silent Reading. This is where the kids are supposed to read anything they want as long as it’s done SILENTLY.
She had three entries in the lesson plan where SSR was prescribed.
I queried her about her procedures for classroom discipline (each class and teacher does it slightly differently), and she pointed to the word “HOME” at middle of the whiteboard.
She then explained that if she felt she wasn’t getting the cooperation she felt was warranted, she would add another letter until the word “HOMEWORK” was complete.
The class would then be assigned some horrendous homework project that she had planned for such occasions.
After she left, I had about 20 mins to review the plan for a day that concluded with, of course, SSR.
The kids arrived and attendance was taken. I asked them about the funny partial word at the top of the board and they verified that they knew what “HOMEWORK” meant.
I picked up a blue marker pen and twisted the cap which made a distinctive “skrittching” sound and asked them if I should practice my spelling of the word “WORK” a couple to times “just in case”.
The response was a lot of “No’s”
First half of the day was a dream. The first SSR was, indeed, silent. Not a sound other than the occasional cough. Great!
I’m thinking good thoughts about this class. The plan is actually going according to plan. Math, literature, homework correction were complete and done.
The second SSR in the plan occurred just before lunch. The natives were getting a little restless. I gather they didn’t get this much SSR in the normal daily routine.
All I had to do was go to the board and “skritch” the marker top and a wave of silence spread across the room. Amazing! When a couple of kids in the back were still “bapping” at each other, I popped the cap ALL THE WAY OFF the marker and held it up for all to see.
The “bappers”, informed by their neighbors, suddenly became model students and the SSR returned to “silence”.
The cap went back on and the marker returned to the tray just below the unmodified word “HOME” at the top of the board. This only had to be repeated a couple of additional times.
Ahhhh….the power of the (marker) pen.
The afternoon assignments, again, were accomplished according the plan when we came to the last SSR of the day. Thirty minutes of “complete unfinished work, homework if you want to start or SSR”.
Ten minutes into it, they’d had enough, the noise level steadily rose, kids started to wander around the room re-sharpening already perfectly sharpened pencils, tapping those newly sharpened pencils on tables, rolling and dropping stuff on the floor and other undesired noisy activities.
The magic marker pen had lost its power. Appending additional letters to “HOMEWO” had only a temporary effect.
So I fell back to my, now popular, “Guess the sub’s previous job” exercise. I emphasized that this had to be done orderly and quietly otherwise I’d just erase all the guesses and call it a day.
They all wanted to participate. I guess this beats SSR any day. I allowed them all one guess each and wrote them on the board.
So watching the clock to have the climax occur just before the end of day bell, I would walk in the front of the classroom and surreptitiously erase one of the guesses.
I would hear whispers. “Look! He erased one! What was it?”
When my back was turned, I could see out of the corner of my eye one or more kids approach the board to read the faint tracing of what I erased. This continued as the time passed. Sometimes I’d even erase 2-3 at a time.
With 3 minutes to go till the bell, the choices are down to “Retired Cop” and “Computer programmer”. I had the kids all come up and split into two groups and “vote” with each group choosing their choice for the “correct” answer.
There is a LOT of noise and animated excitement at this point, but there is also only two minutes left so I felt it was a good trade off.
At this point I turn around and there at the back of the classroom sitting in an empty student chair is……………..THE PRINCIPAL OF THE SCHOOL.
GULP!
Recovering, I explained to THE PRINCIPAL what was happening and added that it was kinda, sorta related to an election year civic lesson. Yea, that’s the ticket! (I don’t think she bought it).
I asked the kids if THE PRINCIPAL could have a vote and they agreed. THE PRINCIPAL said she didn’t have any facts to vote on so she asked the “retired cop” group what make them think I was a cop?
One kid said, “Well when he went by Henry’s desk during SSR, he said ‘You have the right to remain silent, and I think you should exercise it’. That sounded like a cop to me”
She then asked the smaller group “Why a computer programmer”. The response was that it "..was so different than all the other guesses, it must be it”
Glancing at the clock, I then told THE PRINCIPAL she had about 30 seconds to choose. She picked the majority vote saying, “Against my initial intuition, I’ll go with cop”
With a dramatic flourish, I then took the eraser poised it above “computer programmer” and as the bell rang, I quickly erased “Cop”.
The kids exploded!
I turned and looked to the back of the room where “THE PRINCIPAL” was applauding and smiling.
I talked to her after the class and explained about the kids getting restless and she told me she understood perfectly. Her comment: “Whatever works”
WHEW!
I then erased “WO” from the word “HOMEWO” and left the building.
The power of the pen is quite the experience. Well in this case it’s the power of the whiteboard marker pen.
I arrived at this school and was told the sick teacher came in specifically to do the lesson plan for me and that I could meet with her in the classroom. Thank you Lord!
Ms. S was completing the lesson plan when I met her. She was deleting a couple items of work she felt she had to monitor and was substituting SSR intervals. SSR is teacher lingo for Sustained Silent Reading. This is where the kids are supposed to read anything they want as long as it’s done SILENTLY.
She had three entries in the lesson plan where SSR was prescribed.
I queried her about her procedures for classroom discipline (each class and teacher does it slightly differently), and she pointed to the word “HOME” at middle of the whiteboard.
She then explained that if she felt she wasn’t getting the cooperation she felt was warranted, she would add another letter until the word “HOMEWORK” was complete.
The class would then be assigned some horrendous homework project that she had planned for such occasions.
After she left, I had about 20 mins to review the plan for a day that concluded with, of course, SSR.
The kids arrived and attendance was taken. I asked them about the funny partial word at the top of the board and they verified that they knew what “HOMEWORK” meant.
I picked up a blue marker pen and twisted the cap which made a distinctive “skrittching” sound and asked them if I should practice my spelling of the word “WORK” a couple to times “just in case”.
The response was a lot of “No’s”
First half of the day was a dream. The first SSR was, indeed, silent. Not a sound other than the occasional cough. Great!
I’m thinking good thoughts about this class. The plan is actually going according to plan. Math, literature, homework correction were complete and done.
The second SSR in the plan occurred just before lunch. The natives were getting a little restless. I gather they didn’t get this much SSR in the normal daily routine.
All I had to do was go to the board and “skritch” the marker top and a wave of silence spread across the room. Amazing! When a couple of kids in the back were still “bapping” at each other, I popped the cap ALL THE WAY OFF the marker and held it up for all to see.
The “bappers”, informed by their neighbors, suddenly became model students and the SSR returned to “silence”.
The cap went back on and the marker returned to the tray just below the unmodified word “HOME” at the top of the board. This only had to be repeated a couple of additional times.
Ahhhh….the power of the (marker) pen.
The afternoon assignments, again, were accomplished according the plan when we came to the last SSR of the day. Thirty minutes of “complete unfinished work, homework if you want to start or SSR”.
Ten minutes into it, they’d had enough, the noise level steadily rose, kids started to wander around the room re-sharpening already perfectly sharpened pencils, tapping those newly sharpened pencils on tables, rolling and dropping stuff on the floor and other undesired noisy activities.
The magic marker pen had lost its power. Appending additional letters to “HOMEWO” had only a temporary effect.
So I fell back to my, now popular, “Guess the sub’s previous job” exercise. I emphasized that this had to be done orderly and quietly otherwise I’d just erase all the guesses and call it a day.
They all wanted to participate. I guess this beats SSR any day. I allowed them all one guess each and wrote them on the board.
So watching the clock to have the climax occur just before the end of day bell, I would walk in the front of the classroom and surreptitiously erase one of the guesses.
I would hear whispers. “Look! He erased one! What was it?”
When my back was turned, I could see out of the corner of my eye one or more kids approach the board to read the faint tracing of what I erased. This continued as the time passed. Sometimes I’d even erase 2-3 at a time.
With 3 minutes to go till the bell, the choices are down to “Retired Cop” and “Computer programmer”. I had the kids all come up and split into two groups and “vote” with each group choosing their choice for the “correct” answer.
There is a LOT of noise and animated excitement at this point, but there is also only two minutes left so I felt it was a good trade off.
At this point I turn around and there at the back of the classroom sitting in an empty student chair is……………..THE PRINCIPAL OF THE SCHOOL.
GULP!
Recovering, I explained to THE PRINCIPAL what was happening and added that it was kinda, sorta related to an election year civic lesson. Yea, that’s the ticket! (I don’t think she bought it).
I asked the kids if THE PRINCIPAL could have a vote and they agreed. THE PRINCIPAL said she didn’t have any facts to vote on so she asked the “retired cop” group what make them think I was a cop?
One kid said, “Well when he went by Henry’s desk during SSR, he said ‘You have the right to remain silent, and I think you should exercise it’. That sounded like a cop to me”
She then asked the smaller group “Why a computer programmer”. The response was that it "..was so different than all the other guesses, it must be it”
Glancing at the clock, I then told THE PRINCIPAL she had about 30 seconds to choose. She picked the majority vote saying, “Against my initial intuition, I’ll go with cop”
With a dramatic flourish, I then took the eraser poised it above “computer programmer” and as the bell rang, I quickly erased “Cop”.
The kids exploded!
I turned and looked to the back of the room where “THE PRINCIPAL” was applauding and smiling.
I talked to her after the class and explained about the kids getting restless and she told me she understood perfectly. Her comment: “Whatever works”
WHEW!
I then erased “WO” from the word “HOMEWO” and left the building.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Yesterdays assignment: Back to Kindergarten (20 kids).
This job was pretty easy even though a good half of the kids did not speak English as a first language. I was subbing ½ of a K-team with Mr. H. This class even has a long term aid and an ESL language aid to help out.
Four people for 20 kids really does lighten the work day.
The difference in language and reading skills in different schools in the same district was demonstrated in this class.
Mr. H. explained that most if not all of these kids in this class did not have the benefit of the pre-school experience.
I would say that at least 25% of these kids did not speak English. Fortunately, Mr. H is bilingual in Spanish and at least one of the kids can translate for the newest immigrant from Vietnam.
This was their first experience with the “school routine” and it was definitely evident compared to the “country club” Kindergarten.
Mr. H said the Vietnamese boy is picking up Spanish AND English pretty fast from his classmates.
This job was pretty easy even though a good half of the kids did not speak English as a first language. I was subbing ½ of a K-team with Mr. H. This class even has a long term aid and an ESL language aid to help out.
Four people for 20 kids really does lighten the work day.
The difference in language and reading skills in different schools in the same district was demonstrated in this class.
Mr. H. explained that most if not all of these kids in this class did not have the benefit of the pre-school experience.
I would say that at least 25% of these kids did not speak English. Fortunately, Mr. H is bilingual in Spanish and at least one of the kids can translate for the newest immigrant from Vietnam.
This was their first experience with the “school routine” and it was definitely evident compared to the “country club” Kindergarten.
Mr. H said the Vietnamese boy is picking up Spanish AND English pretty fast from his classmates.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
No Plan...
Yesterdays Assignment: 4th grade (30 students) local country club school.
Tuesday, 4th grade assignment, stormy weather like last Tuesday and NO LESSON PLAN. OMG! It’s deja vu all over again from a week ago!!!
I called the office to ask if there is a special place the lesson plan might be located, wishing like hell this wasn’t going to be a repeat of last Tue.
The office called the teacher at home and hooked us up. She said the “general plan” was in the plan date book and that the kids all knew what/when to do stuff.
With crossed fingers and a little prayer, I met the incoming class at the door.
Sure enough, I was more of a “conductor” instead of a “teacher”. One kid took the role, a second did the homework check and 2-3 of the girls guided me to the location of the teacher’s books for the lessons to be done.
The work day pretty much petered out about 45 mins before the end of class and the noise level started to get out of hand.
I decided to try the “guess my old job” exercise that worked so well with last weeks 6th grade class.
Surprisingly they all got into it with the pretty much the same list as the 6th grade. One kid floored me with “I think you worked for Applied Materials, am I right?”
Busted!!!
I couldn’t figure out how this kid knew where I had worked, so I asked her how she came to that conclusion.
She had spotted the logo on the pen in my shirt pocket with the stylized company logo of an “A” on the clip. These country club kids are pretty sharp to spot that logo AND know the company name it goes with it.
She then rattled off several names of people she knew that, evidentially, work for her Dad and sell stuff to Applied.
Gotta stay on my toes around these kids.
Tuesday, 4th grade assignment, stormy weather like last Tuesday and NO LESSON PLAN. OMG! It’s deja vu all over again from a week ago!!!
I called the office to ask if there is a special place the lesson plan might be located, wishing like hell this wasn’t going to be a repeat of last Tue.
The office called the teacher at home and hooked us up. She said the “general plan” was in the plan date book and that the kids all knew what/when to do stuff.
With crossed fingers and a little prayer, I met the incoming class at the door.
Sure enough, I was more of a “conductor” instead of a “teacher”. One kid took the role, a second did the homework check and 2-3 of the girls guided me to the location of the teacher’s books for the lessons to be done.
The work day pretty much petered out about 45 mins before the end of class and the noise level started to get out of hand.
I decided to try the “guess my old job” exercise that worked so well with last weeks 6th grade class.
Surprisingly they all got into it with the pretty much the same list as the 6th grade. One kid floored me with “I think you worked for Applied Materials, am I right?”
Busted!!!
I couldn’t figure out how this kid knew where I had worked, so I asked her how she came to that conclusion.
She had spotted the logo on the pen in my shirt pocket with the stylized company logo of an “A” on the clip. These country club kids are pretty sharp to spot that logo AND know the company name it goes with it.
She then rattled off several names of people she knew that, evidentially, work for her Dad and sell stuff to Applied.
Gotta stay on my toes around these kids.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Dodge Ball..
Yesterdays Monday Assignment: 1st grade (20 students) Frozen district school
Walked into this classroom and was visually assaulted by “STUFF” on every square inch of wall and floor space. It looked like a teacher supply store exploded and left this classroom crater.
I had to maneuver through the maze of stuff to find the teachers desk behind a wall of cardboard file drawers. It’s obvious this is her retreat from the kids. She certainly can’t teach from this corner kingdom retreat.
Hand written lesson plan and well behaved kids (mostly), had the day going pretty well till late afternoon P.E. that called for “dodge ball”. This game in the other district is banned.
I now know why.
The game, at least as 1st graders do it, is mostly taking the ball and run away from all the other kids trying to take it away from you while all of them scream “It’s MINE”.
A half hour of this is more than enough.
Walked into this classroom and was visually assaulted by “STUFF” on every square inch of wall and floor space. It looked like a teacher supply store exploded and left this classroom crater.
I had to maneuver through the maze of stuff to find the teachers desk behind a wall of cardboard file drawers. It’s obvious this is her retreat from the kids. She certainly can’t teach from this corner kingdom retreat.
Hand written lesson plan and well behaved kids (mostly), had the day going pretty well till late afternoon P.E. that called for “dodge ball”. This game in the other district is banned.
I now know why.
The game, at least as 1st graders do it, is mostly taking the ball and run away from all the other kids trying to take it away from you while all of them scream “It’s MINE”.
A half hour of this is more than enough.
Friday, October 22, 2004
Combo Class...
Assignment: 1st-2nd combo. ½ day afternoon class
After last Tuesday, this was a welcome respite. The kids were enthusiastic, well behaved, and polite. This allowed me to function with the minimum of classroom control required.
Almost makes up for Tues. .............Not quite, but almost.
Met a teacher that taught my daughter when she was Elementary school.
I forgot to show her, her former student’s new baby. I bet that would have made her feel old.
P.S. Every job should have a recess…….
After last Tuesday, this was a welcome respite. The kids were enthusiastic, well behaved, and polite. This allowed me to function with the minimum of classroom control required.
Almost makes up for Tues. .............Not quite, but almost.
Met a teacher that taught my daughter when she was Elementary school.
I forgot to show her, her former student’s new baby. I bet that would have made her feel old.
P.S. Every job should have a recess…….
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
No Control...
Assignment: Tuesday 4th grade (32 students) in the south county district late morning call.
Nagasaki, Hiroshima and Ms. R’s 4th grade class. What do these three have in common? They were all bombs of large magnitude.
After Monday’s success, I was looking forward to today’s assignment.
I arrived at the school an hour after the start of class, was handed the teachers lesson plan that she phoned in that morning. Very sketchy and short on details. Not a good sign but I felt after yesterday’s success, I could handle this class.
I even got a break in that it was class picture day (0.5 hour) and Native American Indian Assembly presentation (1.0 hours) and a 40 minute lunch break. This six hour class was down to about 3 hours worth of actual class assignments.
These were the LONGEST THREE HOURS I’ve ever spent.
From the minute I walked in to the minute after I left, I had NO control whatsoever with these kids. Constant talking, throwing things, upset seats. You name it, they were doing it.
They didn’t seem to mind the “consequences”.
I took away “table points” until they were all in the negative and had at least 4 names on the board.
I let them know that I was supposed to write a report about the class progress for their teacher. I asked THEM what they think I should tell their teacher. At least some were honest enough to say they’d probably get an “F” for the day.
I take back the “I think I got this job down…” comment from yesterday.
Nagasaki, Hiroshima and Ms. R’s 4th grade class. What do these three have in common? They were all bombs of large magnitude.
After Monday’s success, I was looking forward to today’s assignment.
I arrived at the school an hour after the start of class, was handed the teachers lesson plan that she phoned in that morning. Very sketchy and short on details. Not a good sign but I felt after yesterday’s success, I could handle this class.
I even got a break in that it was class picture day (0.5 hour) and Native American Indian Assembly presentation (1.0 hours) and a 40 minute lunch break. This six hour class was down to about 3 hours worth of actual class assignments.
These were the LONGEST THREE HOURS I’ve ever spent.
From the minute I walked in to the minute after I left, I had NO control whatsoever with these kids. Constant talking, throwing things, upset seats. You name it, they were doing it.
They didn’t seem to mind the “consequences”.
I took away “table points” until they were all in the negative and had at least 4 names on the board.
I let them know that I was supposed to write a report about the class progress for their teacher. I asked THEM what they think I should tell their teacher. At least some were honest enough to say they’d probably get an “F” for the day.
I take back the “I think I got this job down…” comment from yesterday.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Consequences List...
Yesterdays Assignment: 6th grade students (27 students) in the newest district.
This is the “top end” of my risk taking in the sub business. Everyone had been telling me that this would probably be the toughest job to deal with because these guys are “almost junior high”.
I wasn’t too reassured when the top item on the lesson plan was the “Consequences List”
Five levels of discipline starting with “name on the board” to “Principal’s office”
What am I getting myself into?
I decided the “Kindergarten” friendly grandpa persona wouldn’t work with this age kids. I decided the straight forward no nonsense approach should be the order of the day.
To my surprise (and relief) this worked pretty well. They were under control for most of the day. One of the kids was asking me what job I had before being a sub. “I bet you were a teacher”.
I let it slide and completed most of the teacher’s lesson plan. We had a few minutes left when some of the kids started pestering me for the “What I did before…” answer.
I thought it would be more interesting to see what they “thought I was” rather than simply telling them.
I had them guess what my old job was before teaching them and the list was interesting to see how they saw me.
The guess list:
Military (2 guesses Army, Navy)
FBI/CIA (2 guesses)
Teacher
School Principal
Engineer
Computers
Cop
I told them that one of these guesses was right and I’d erase the wrong answers one at a time to reveal the right answer just before the end bell was supposed to ring.
There were moans and gasps of mock dismay as I erased each guess until it got down to “School Principal” and “Computers”
Since this was an election year and “voting in class” seemed to be the order of the day, I had them “vote” for which job they think I did.
School Principal – 21 votes
Computers – 6 votes
I think I got this job down………….
This is the “top end” of my risk taking in the sub business. Everyone had been telling me that this would probably be the toughest job to deal with because these guys are “almost junior high”.
I wasn’t too reassured when the top item on the lesson plan was the “Consequences List”
Five levels of discipline starting with “name on the board” to “Principal’s office”
What am I getting myself into?
I decided the “Kindergarten” friendly grandpa persona wouldn’t work with this age kids. I decided the straight forward no nonsense approach should be the order of the day.
To my surprise (and relief) this worked pretty well. They were under control for most of the day. One of the kids was asking me what job I had before being a sub. “I bet you were a teacher”.
I let it slide and completed most of the teacher’s lesson plan. We had a few minutes left when some of the kids started pestering me for the “What I did before…” answer.
I thought it would be more interesting to see what they “thought I was” rather than simply telling them.
I had them guess what my old job was before teaching them and the list was interesting to see how they saw me.
The guess list:
Military (2 guesses Army, Navy)
FBI/CIA (2 guesses)
Teacher
School Principal
Engineer
Computers
Cop
I told them that one of these guesses was right and I’d erase the wrong answers one at a time to reveal the right answer just before the end bell was supposed to ring.
There were moans and gasps of mock dismay as I erased each guess until it got down to “School Principal” and “Computers”
Since this was an election year and “voting in class” seemed to be the order of the day, I had them “vote” for which job they think I did.
School Principal – 21 votes
Computers – 6 votes
I think I got this job down………….
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