Accused...

Student end-of-year evaluation reports are in progress and I had just completed the last of four, half-day assignments in 1^st grade. Even though the kids can clearly see the teacher through the window of the common central pod, it didn't seem to diminish the chaotic nature of unfocused 1^st graders already checked out for the summer.

I had been home for about an hour after class when the principal of the school called. This is odd, since no principal has ever called me at home before. We have crossed paths and had casual conversations over the last ten years I've been subbing. He has been the principal at three different schools I have subbed.

Dr. B: Hi, Mark. I know you were in for Ms. J's 1^st grade today. I need to ask if anything unusual happened today?

Me: I can't think of anything. Why?

Dr. B: One of the moms came in after school to report that her daughter told her: "The sub shoved me into my desk and hurt my arm!"

I am speechless for a couple seconds before I can respond. I can feel my heart beat faster. I am truly sucker-punch-shocked! My mind is racing as I try to process the events of the day to figure out where this might be coming from.

Me: What??  I have no idea why she would say that. It didn't happen! The kids were out of their desks a few times and the noise level was sometimes a bit chaotic but nothing like that happened. 

Dr. B: Mark, we have known each other for many years and this just didn't sound like something you'd do, but I had to call and ask. I'll do some further investigating and get back to you.

 Me: I definitely want to know what you find out. I've heard about situations like this spinning out of control with other subs and causing some serious problems. This is a serious deal, here.

Dr. B: I'll definitely call you tomorrow and let you know what I find.

As I relate the day's turn of events with Claudette, it only increases our anxiety levels. Questions along the lines of:  "Is this job worth it? Is it time to quit?" are debated and examined.  I guess it all comes down to what Dr. B comes back with. I can only wait out the rest of today and see what tomorrow brings.

The call comes mid-afternoon as promised.

Dr. B: I re-interviewed the girl with her mom. I asked it she knew the name of the substitute teacher that pushed her. She said "no". I then asked her if Mr. Perry was in the classroom yesterday. She said "yes". "Was it Mr. Perry who pushed you?" She said "No, it was the other sub"
I understand from the teacher that some of the 6^th graders who didn't go on the class field trip were sent to your class to do busy work?

Me:  Two 6^th grade boys and one girl came in for the rest of the day. The teacher and I discussed an idea to have them work as "tutors" and help with kids that needed help in class.

Dr. B: That's what I've been told also. I've got to do some additional work on this but I'm satisfied that you are not involved. So we're done, you are out of the equation. Have a good rest of the day.

Now that my blood pressure is back to normal, I guess I won't be quitting anytime soon. I will be seriously considering if I should restrict future assignments next year to 2^nd grade and above.

Science Fair...

It is science fair season and it seems that every student in every grade in every elementary school has an entry.

The lesson plan indicated the time to take the 4^th graders to tour the science fair exhibits set up in the cafeteria. At the appointed time, I escorted the group over as instructed.  I lead them up and down each isle so they could view the dozens and dozens of demonstrations of "science".

We had Solar System models constructed of Styrofoam, sticks and glue, the potato or lemon powered lamps, the flower sucking colored water demonstrations, tornado in a bottle, volcano models and....Something new I did not recognize. The exhibit indicated it was a model of something called a "Gaussian Gun".

Two wooden dowels glued together to make a track, magnets spaced and glued at three intervals and some steel marbles mounted along the track between the magnets. Like me, the kids were curious about what it was and how it worked.

Curious, I picked up one of the marbles to see how heavy it was and put it back on the rail. Before I could react fast enough, the marble rolled and accelerated down the track, hit the first magnet and before I knew what was happening, a chain reaction of steel marbles and magnets shot the last marble off the end and hit one of the boys in the leg!

Thankfully, the boy was unhurt but...really?  

That thing is downright dangerous!

Tall Tales...

I had an assignment in a 2nd grade classroom at the country club school. Of course, one of the first questions I get on a day when I come is usually: "Where did Mr/Ms Teacher go and when will he/she be back?"

This is my opening for an icebreaker and a demonstration that I am not as scary as I look. I will usually respond with some outrageously unbelievable retort like: "Ms Teacher had to attend race car driving school this morning and it's her turn on the track. She'll be in tomorrow and you can ask her all about it." Most kids "get" that I have made up an obviously silly answer instead of the standard "I don't know" response.

(...Some of the teachers I have subbed for comment that they look forward to hearing what they were supposedly doing while they were away.)

Students will sometimes try to "turn the tables" and try one of their own on the substitute teacher. Second graders usually aren't good enough to make it believable but it's fun to hear what they come up with.

Laura is an exception. The lesson plan says that she is a recent arrival from a private school across town and might have difficulties with some of the math they are currently doing in class.

While the rest of the kids are plowing through the math pages on their own, I work with Laura. As we're working, Laura tells me that she's new in this school as they just moved into the country club.

Yep, that sounds right. Even though this is a public school, I know the developer donated the land and built the school with the express stipulation that school enrollment be reserved primarily for the kids of parents living in the country club. From what I can see, it pretty much is.

Laura tells me that her family bought the biggest house at the top of the hill in the country club. They have a big pool and playground. Her dad is a musician and she has three brothers.

Sounds plausible.

L: We're going to see my grandma this weekend on the family farm.

Me: Sounds like a nice drive.

...There are many farms and vineyards about an hour's drive south of here.

L: No, it's too far to drive. We're flying.

Me: Oh, so you have to get up early to get to the airport?

...The grandparents must be out of state.

L: No, we have our own plane. My dad's a pilot.

Me: Wow, that must be fun.

...Six passenger private plane!  Impressive!

L: It's a jet. It used to belong to my grandparents but they passed it on to my Dad. 

Hmmm...Lear jet? Ok, family money. Lots of it.

L: It's been in our family for generations--since WWII!!

Ok, she got me. Got me good.

At this point I suppose I should have pointed out that Germany had the only jet powered aircraft in the world during WWII and it was dicey for even the single seat pilot to land the thing.

The teacher came in at the end of the day to see how my day went. I related how Laura had me going. The teacher laughed and then confided, "Did she also tell you that she has  seven toes on her left foot?"

I Made a 1st Grader Cry

I didn't do it on purpose, honest! 

It was supposed to be an easy half-day afternoon assignment in a 1^st grade class. 

The teacher had several math related worksheets they were supposed to complete involving counting coins to equal a certain value. The only materials required were red and green crayons to color the correct coins. Most of the kids were busy starting the assignment when I heard a disturbance on the other side of the room.

"He ripped my paper!!"

It seems that one boy could not find the right worksheet on his desk and decided to take one from someone else's desk. Of course, that resulted in a tugging match between the worksheet owner and the thief.

I gave the little girl an extra worksheet and escorted "little thief" back to his desk where I pointed out that peeking out from under three papers on his desk was the worksheet he couldn't find.

A bit later it was: "He took my red!!"

It seems that "LT" couldn't find his crayons, so he was "borrowing" crayons without asking from inattentive classmates. Returning the crayons to the rightful owners, I escorted "LT" back to his desk and asked where his crayons were.

LT: I lost them

Me: Did you look in your desk?

LT: I looked, they aren't in there.

I see that his desk it totally jammed with books, papers bits of pencils, toys and junk.

Me: Maybe they are way in the back under all that stuff in your desk

LT:  I looked, they aren't in there. (a bit louder than I cared for)

Me: Let's check again. Let's take everything out and put it on top of your desk to check.

LT:  I did and they aren't in there!

Me: Let's do it again.

LT is reluctant but since I not moving away, he doesn't have a choice. Out comes all his hard books, all his soft cover practice books, some small stuffed animals and...a large box of 48 crayons.

Me: Well, it looks like we found your crayons. Now you can start the coins worksheet.

LT:  I don't have red.

Me: Open the box and let's check, ok?

He opens the box and it contains at least three different shades of red crayons.

Me: Pick one of those and use it

LT: (In a loud whiney voice) IT'S NOT RED!!

At this point, I have pretty much exhausted what patience remained. I selected one of the reds and one of the greenish colored crayons, and instructed LT to quit stalling.

"Sit down and get to work. No more delays and no more taking stuff that isn't yours!"

A bit later while monitoring the rest of the class and checking every now and then that LT was at least not bothering anyone else, one little girl approaches to tell me that LT is crying. 

I left a note for the teacher that LT had a hard day today and some tears were shed.

I talked with the teacher a few days later and she told me that it happens a lot with LT.

Miss Nelson is Missing (video)

You've read the book, now see the video...

J.R.R. Tolkien's DVD Giveaway!

In a first for JAST, I am hosting a 2nd DVD giveaway this month...

Update: 4/7/2013 The winner is Stephanie!! 


 

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey coming to Blu-ray & DVD March 19th 2013!

J.R.R. Tolkien’s epic adventure follows the journey of Bilbo Baggins, who is swept into an amazing quest to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor from the fearsome dragon Smaug. Approached out of the blue by the wizard Gandalf the Grey, Bilbo finds himself joining a company of thirteen dwarves led by the legendary warrior, Thorin Oakenshield. Their journey will take them into the Wild; through treacherous lands swarming with Goblins and Orcs, deadly Wargs and Sorcerers.

From Academy Award®-winning filmmaker Peter Jackson comes “The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey,” the first of a trilogy of films adapting the endearingly popular masterpiece The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkien.

 

One winner till receive a copy of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Blu-ray Combo Pack! The deadline to enter is April 5!! 

•           Are You 100% Hobbit Quiz! What has a tendency to be very brave, is around 4 ft. tall with sharp eyesight, little to no facial hair, and loves cake? If you thought we were talking about you, then you might be a Hobbit Indeed! Take the quiz to find out just how much of a Hobbit you are!

•           Creatures of Middle-earth! Hobbits, Elves and Dwarves are just a few of the magical creatures that call Middle-earth home. Check out vital stats and unique features about each one!

•           The Hobbit Handbook! Our Hobbit Handbook includes everything you need to throw the best viewing party in Middle-earth right at home!

 Are You 100% Hobbit? 

Just take the "Are You 100% Hobbit Quiz" and post your results in the comments section
-- or -- 
Post your favorite Hobbit Handbook activity in the comments section to this post and you are entered in the contest giveaway for one Blu-ray combo pack of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey . 

Either way you're IN! 
ONLY ONE entry per person please. Let's let everyone have an equal opportunity to win...

The deadline to enter is April 5!!  
  
The drawing will be held on April 6. and winner will be posted here.  The prize will be sent via FedEx or UPS. No P.O. Boxes please.

The winner will be required to supply a mailing address sent to KauaiMark@gmail.com on or before 4-9-2013.

Ready For the Truth?

The day before Easter, our 8yr old granddaughter Paige told her Mom that she had an important question to ask. She wanted to know the truth about the Easter Bunny & Santa Claus. Are they real or not?

Loss of childhood innocence is one of the hardest for most of us parents to endure but we all must confront it eventually. I know it was for me, 30+yrs ago, when our 5yr old son "wanted to know".

Unfortunately, for me he could not keep such an important secret to himself. He blabbed it to his younger sister and cousins. That singular childhood memory prepared our daughter to handle the situation much more carefully than I did.

J: Ok, but before I tell, you have to promise to keep it a secret and not tell anyone else. Not your brother, your cousins, not any kids at school, nobody. Ok?

  

J: Now, are you sure you really, really want me to tell you?

P: Yes! I really, really want to know the truth.

Paige's response after learning "the truth":

"I'm going to go to bed now and I hope I forget everything you just told me!!".