From the Moms Behaving Badly File...

From Mercury News.com

By Stephen Baxter

sbaxter@santacruzsentinel.com

BEN LOMOND -- A 52-year-old woman was arrested early this morning near the Ben Lomond Conservation Camp on Empire Grade Road after authorities said they saw her dump two bags full of meth, marijuana and other items outside the minimum security facility for inmates to retrieve, the CHP reported.

Rhoda Lea Dydo Nunley, of Wheatland, was arrested about 2:50 a.m. after officers said she dropped two large bags near the facility's entrance, said CHP officer Sarah Jackson. Officers said they watched two inmates try to pick up the bags, and one of the intended recipients was Nunley's adult son, the CHP said.

The bags contained meth, marijuana, tobacco, food, a cell phone and other items, authorities said. Nunley was with another son, who is a minor, and the boy was taken into protective custody following Nunley's arrest, the CHP said.

Out of Context…

This year’s restriction by the school district not allowing teachers to request favored subs in their classrooms has had the unintended benefit that I’ve had a few more calls from the middle school. My personal inclination and schedule didn’t mesh with my taking any last minute, middle school P.E. assignments, but when an 8th grade science assignment came up, I accepted.

While I haven’t encountered any of these kids for the last two or three years, still about a third of them in each of the five periods remembered me from their elementary school days.

The teacher had seating charts with photos for each period that made taking roll five times a lot quicker than wasting time calling names. It was a bit social (ie: noisy conversation) at times but as long as they did the work I didn’t mind.

It was a good day and I realized that teaching the same subject to five different classes is much easier than teaching five different subjects to one class. By the time the 2nd or 3rd period shows up, I have ready answers to anticipated questions from the previous periods.

Switching topics, my wife and I have attended the same small church for more than 25yrs. In that time we’ve observed many changes. It is most noticeable in the changes the kids go through from infant to functioning adult.

Evidently one of these, now a 7th grade teenager, attends the middle school I was at last Friday. As she didn’t attend any of the elementary schools that I work, she only recognizes me in the context of “church”. When her mother approached me Sunday morning to ask if I was at her daughter's school on Friday, I was amused.

Her daughter had come home and related that she thought she had seen someone who looked exactly like me walking across the campus on the way to the teachers' lounge. She wasn’t sure if it was me or not. And if it was, why would I be at her school on a Friday afternoon?

I guess it can be a bit freaky to encounter someone “out of context” on a weekday.

A Substitute Teacher's Ultimate Nightmare...

I can't even imagine how this COULD have happened...TWICE!
(At least it wasn't a substitute teacher in the class..)

"...A teacher at an East Oakland elementary school has been placed on leave as officials investigate accusations that two of his second-grade students engaged in oral sex in the classroom and that some ran around without their clothes on, a district spokesman said Friday."

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/01/21/BALV1HCLA4.DTL#ixzz1BiqapyOG

Black Licorice and Kindergarten Teachers…

I really, really like black licorice. Not the sweet “black vine, movie theater” stuff but the good, strong anise extract stuff. Our Finnish exchange student from 20yrs ago still sends me 3-4 packages of the stuff for Christmas every year. But like too much of any good thing all at once, it can make you ill. That’s why I try to apportion my stash as long as possible to thoroughly enjoy it.

Kindergarten is like that. Good in small doses but not so much all at once.

I turned down five of seven Kinder assignments so far this month. One assignment I turned down twice the same night as I guess the subsystem didn’t find any takers the first time around.

I’ve come to believe that Kindergarten teachers are a special breed. They have to have that slow, calm, special “voice” when speaking with Kinders. And to keep it every day in class is truly amazing.

It’s a bit startling to hear Kinder teachers outside the classroom using an adult voice to realize they are great actresses to stay “in character” while in the classroom and can switch it off to become “real people” outside.

It’s really impressive to witness.

Weird Numbers - Kaprekar's constant

Amaze your nerd friends and win bar bets:

6174 is known as Kaprekar's constant after the Indian Mathematician D. R. Kaprekar. This number is notable for the following property:

Take any four-digit number, using at least two different digits (Leading zeros are allowed.)

1. Arrange the digits in ascending and then in descending order to get two four-digit numbers, adding leading zeros if necessary. 
2. Subtract the smaller number from the bigger number.
3. Using the result, go back to step 1.

The above process, known as Kaprekar's routine, will always reach 6174 in at most 7 iterations. Once 6174 is reached, the process will continue yielding:
7641 – 1467 = 6174. 

For example, choose 3524:

Iteration:

1. 5432 – 2345 = 3087
2. 8730 – 0378 = 8352
3. 8532 – 2358 = 6174
4. 7641 - 1467 = 6174

Using the above process,  the number "0050" takes 7 iterations to reach 6174. 
Try it and see!

(Hat tip to Darren at http://rightontheleftcoast.blogspot.com/2011/01/how-would-someone-figure-this-out.html)

Substitute Teaching in the U.S.

Recently, I have been receiving inquiries from others to "guest post" here. I haven't previously entertained any interest in accepting these proposals until now. Since the year is starting off kinda slow and I personally don't have anything worthwhile to say yet this new year, let me introduce you to Sarah Casey who researched and wrote the following first ever "guest post" for JAST:

Use the comments section or the "Reactions" check boxes at the bottom to record your feedback. If this goes well, I may entertain the idea of other "guest bloggers" in the future.

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The State of Substitute Teaching In The United States

If you can read this, thank a substitute teacher, if you can find one. Substitute teaching is one of those thankless jobs that require a huge amount of patience be on call and ready to go when needed. It is also a job that can be very rewarding and allows people who love to teach an opportunity to do so, once you can figure out the requirements your state and school district are looking for in a substitute.

The requirements to be a substitute teacher vary greatly from state to state, and school district to school district. The one requirement that the majority of states do agree on is that substitutes must have a high school diploma or a GED.

Substitute Teacher Shortages

According to a study by the Substitute Teaching Institute at Utah State University, substitute teachers are in over 270,000 classrooms in this country every day. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the need for regular teachers will increase about 12% by 2016, as the need for regular teachers increase, so will the need for substitutes. As most states are struggling with full time teacher shortages, the substitute shortage is even worse. Some of the ways different states and/or school districts are trying to deal with these shortages is by offering higher wages and even offering substitutes the same benefits as regular teachers, once they work so many hours for the same school district. Some are even creating permanent substitute positions, allowing their substitutes to work in other administrative areas when they are not needed in the classroom. With the budget shortages that many states are facing today, however, these options are limited.

The main reason for the shortages of substitute teachers, surprisingly, does not include wages, although in some districts this can be a factor. According to the website, PayScale.com, substitute teachers make an hourly rate of 9.84 to 15.16 an hour, depending on their level of education, experience, skills and the amount of hours worked. Poor training and very little respect by school personnel and students are two major reasons substitutes cite for deciding not to go back to teach in certain districts.

Almost all school districts do provide training to substitutes, but not enough, which is one area many experts agree needs to be improved on if they want to find and keep quality substitutes. Training not only builds confidence, it gives the substitute a blueprint of what the school district expects from them as teachers. It helps them in classroom management techniques and empowers them to step into the classroom armed with what is required of them, as well as what is required of the students. Finally, many substitutes have complained about the quality, or lack thereof, of the lesson plans left for them by the absent teachers. Too many times the substitute ends up being just a babysitter because sufficient information is not given to teach the students effectively, and that is not what they signed up for when accepting the job.

Because there are so many shortages in every state for substitute teachers, many school districts have been forced to loosen up their policies and requirements for substitutes. Some districts have even resorted to pulling their special education teachers into the regular classes to sub. This means that the special education classes for that day may have to be cancelled, and the parents of these special needs children become extremely upset, and rightly so, that their children are put on the back burner during these times. Many times students are herded into the cafeteria or auditorium and given an impromptu study hall or movie viewing because no substitute could be found.

Requirements for Substitute Teaching

As far as what type of education and/or training a person is expected to have in order to even qualify to become a substitute teacher, one would expect that they at least have a two-year college education. However, not all states make that a requirement.

States that do require two to four years of college, some of which also require at least some of the credit hours be in education, are Arizona, California, Connecticut, Delaware, D.C., Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa (a regular teaching certificate is required), Kansas, Kentucky, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska (must be a BA in Education), Nevada, New Jersey, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Washington State, West Virginia, Wisconsin (a regular teaching certificate is required) and Wyoming,

Some of these states, however, will waive the college requirements if the person has appropriate work experience, or, in emergencies, for short-term assignments. Many states are governed by districts, some of which require college, others, different types of certifications, while still others, background checks and fingerprints.

Even with the issues surrounding what it takes to be a substitute, it can be a very rewarding, part-time career, and can help those who want to teach full time get a step closer. There are many good online schools for teaching that a substitute teacher, who may want to teach full time one day, can check out. States are constantly looking for better ways to fill their substitute coffers with quality people, and the demand is high, so the outlook is good for anyone seeking this career.
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Bio: Sarah Casey is a lover of education and is always educating herself! In her free time she is a freelance writer for onlineschools.org

Flipped Update…

The Christmas break is over and a new year begins. Well…should begin as soon as I get that first call for 2011.

One of the last classes I covered before the Christmas break was a 5th grade class. Of course the lesson planned, end of day video listed wasn’t anywhere to be found.

Fortunately, I had in my bag a DVD video of the new movie Flipped that the publicist for the production company sent me as a freebie for mentioning the movie in a previous blog post. Since I hadn’t viewed the movie beforehand, I consulted with another grade level teacher to see if it would be ok to use as a substitute. She really liked the idea as they had just finished reading the book as a class a couple weeks earlier.

Just before lunch, I told the class that I had a movie that they hadn’t seen before (it was released a few weeks before) and when I told them the title, they were excited…well most of them anyway. One girl told me that she had already seen it on Netflix, PPV or some such like video service. Fortunately, she was the only one to have seen it as the rest were really interested to see the movie adaptation of a book they knew so well.

Normally, classroom movies are hit and miss attention wise. I don’t require students to actually watch the movies as long as they aren’t disruptive for those who do. This was the first movie I’ve shown in class where almost everyone was engrossed in the story line. Unfortunately, the movie had about 15 minutes left when the end of school bell rang. But that didn’t result in the expected mass exodus of kids storming the exit before the movie ended. Most of them lingered as long as possible until about a third of the class who didn’t have a bus to catch or parents waiting, stayed to see the end.

From the first and single viewing with the class, I guess I’d have to call the movie a “hit”!

Happy New Year!

Have a safe and sober drive home for the New Year 2011!!

Did you make your New Year's Impositions List yet?

Unintended Benefits…

The first half of school year 2010/11 is done and I’m surprised to report that my initial reservations about the unavailability of work didn’t come to pass. The frequency of assignments is about the same but I’m pretty much working at only 20% of the schools in the district instead of the usual 85%.

I wasn’t expecting to work the last Friday before Christmas break so the call from one of the two elusive 15% of schools I never get calls from was a double surprise. I of course took the 6th grade assignment.

The two schools that represent the “elusive 15%” are two of the higher performing schools in the district (API scores of 950+ each). They rarely have teacher absences and when they do occur, I’ve been told, they arrange for their own preferred substitutes. They rarely had to access the “random substitute” line.

Since the office rarely had to deal with the substitute line, they never instituted a priority list of preferred substitutes for the system to work from when the list of fired teachers was exhausted. I was lucky enough to be the random pick that day.

In the classroom, the teacher’s lesson plan was addressed to “Dana”. That told me that either this school HAD found away to get around the new calling rules or that “Dana” was a RIF’ed teacher that she had somehow arranged to have work for her today.

While going over the lesson plan, the teacher in the room across the hall walked in to introduce herself and ask if I had everything I needed. It took a few seconds to realize that we both recognized each other.

“Hey, Aren’t you the guy the kids call Mr. Homework?”

I had worked for her a number of times when she was at a different school several years ago. After exchanging several brief exchanges of “what happened to old acquaintances”, she left to get ready for her own class.

The rest of my day went well, the kids were well behaved, and their teacher came in just before the end of day bell. She introduced herself to me and asked how my day went. I handed her my end of day report which she read silently while the kids watched intently.

“Well, according this report it looks like you guys did really well! Merry Christmas and you’re dismissed!”

As I was leaving, the teacher I met before school today came over to ask how things went. I told her it went well. She told me that she had gone and talked with the office secretary to put in a good for me and get me placed on their priority substitute short list.

Does this mean I’ll get more work at this school the 2nd half of the school year and possibility next? Only time will tell if the unintended consequence of the limited access rule to assignments will turn into an unintended benefit for me next year.

I hope it does.

Year End Family Status...

December 19, 2010

It’s Christmas time again? Where did 2010 go? Our 2010 was the year for changes.

Claudette and I went with some friends on vacation to Kauai, Hawaii. I always like upgrades on vacation but not this time.

Claudette promptly sprained her foot within 20min after checking into the hotel. The next day, we spent some time at the urgent care facility on the island to have the “sprain” upgraded to a “fracture” which pretty much kept her out of the water for the duration. It’s hard to swim strapped into a toes to knee length black “walking” boot. This didn’t prevent the guys from doing a little deep sea fishing which provided us with a few nights of BBQ’d Ahi and Ono while the women relaxed in the warm Hawaiian sun.

Upon our return, Kaiser Hospital re-examined the foot and upgraded the black walking boot to a solid purple cast for a month. It seems the fracture is now upgraded to a special kind of fracture that required a cast, then a period back in the boot and finally back to shoes once again.

Now, personally, I’m not fond of change. As long as something still works, why change? That argument works great for staying with the same partner for 40yrs but doesn’t work so well for not getting new carpet just because it’s outdated. It’s ONLY 35yrs old! Sure it’s rich rust color is more like faded orange now, but it still covered the plywood floors and prevented splinters in my feet, right?

Well, the carpet WAS pulled up in a few places, repaired in a few others with my trusty staple gun and, as we discovered later, a habitat for a few termites near an outer wall in one of the bedrooms.

Claudette wins. We NEED new carpet. But first we need to deal with the termite problem. But before we can deal with the termites, the termite inspector informed us that we needed to get rid of, what he thought was, opossums living under our house. 

Just when I thought he was done, he informs us: “While you’re at it you should block the access vents with screening in the attic because birds have been nesting in the insulation up there”. Evidentially, bird waste in the insulation calls for removal and installing new insulation. 

So…animals under the house and birds in the attic banned and screened, contaminated insulation replaced, termites killed, new carpet installed, Claudette on two feet again.

All done, right?

Claudette: “You know…the old, crappy baseboard looks pretty shabby against the new carpet and wouldn’t some crown molding in the bedrooms look REALLY nice with new drapes?…”

Merry Christmas and a HAPPY New Year!

…Mark & Claudette

Google Audio Translator...

I think I could have used this feature a few years ago in a 2nd grade bilingual Spanish class...

Hello! My name is Mr. Homework.

You’re On My List…

Substitute teachers are encouraged (if not required) to leave an “end of day” status report to let the teacher know how the little darlings behaved (or not). One of the first things I announce at the beginning of the day is that I do make notes about how the day is going and that…I make a list.

“Kinda like Santa does with his ‘Naughty and Nice’ list and you don’t want to be on my ‘naughty’ list at the end of the day”, I warn.

As it turns out, I discovered that I’m on a few lists also:

Scholastic Magazine: Top 20 Teachers Blogs List #16

Guide to Online Schools Masters In Elementary: Top 50 Blogs by Elementary Educators #10

Tips and Tools: 100 Best Blogs by Teachers for Teachers In the miscellaneous group

Learn Me Good: Guys Who Teach and Write Blogs (no order)

Rasmussen: Top 50 Blogs for Teachers #42

Kids Learn to Blog: Blog Resources For Teachers (no order)

University reviews Online.com: 100 Most Inspiring and Innovative Blogs for Educators #46

Walden-Learning Community EDUC6710 (rated “average” 3-star)

The Cornerstone For Teachers: Favorite Blogs (listed with the bus driver)

50 Resources for Students Attending Online Teaching Schools #5

(Last updated Dec 20, 2010) 

Who's at Cancun COP 16?

Is climate change more about the science or...politics?  You decide.

To read more click here:
http://wattsupwiththat.com/2010/12/08/cop16-attendees-fall-for-the-old-dihydrogen-monoxide-petition-as-well-as-signing-up-to-cripple-the-u-s-economy/

I Got Mail!

Everyone performs better at an assignment IF they like doing it. Getting kids interested in reading and writing to enjoy doing it is no exception.

I remember one part of the CBEST qualifying exam for my substitute teaching credential was to submit a timed writing sample about my thoughts of “cheating by high school students on exams”. Needless to say my rambling, full page, written response could have been better said in three short sentences: “I’m not for it. Cheating is bad. Don’t do it".

I don’t like writing under deadline pressures or on subjects I know nothing about. I remember an essay in college that I failed miserably because I could not “imagine a day in the life of an Eskimo boy”

With that digression introduction, I was working in a 4th grade classroom when the next item in the lesson plan listed: If they finish early and have extra time they are allowed to read a book or do "PenPals".

“PenPal time” is writing a letter to anyone in class about anything, stuffing it in a large mailing envelope, addressing it and putting it in the outgoing mailbox. This teacher had one of those huge rural route roadside sized mailboxes on a table in the front of the classroom. Periodically, when the “Mailman of the Week” student noticed the red flag up on the mailbox, he could then deliver the mail to the Pen Pal addressee.

Even I got mail:

I assume that spelling, punctuation and grammar will follow as the year progresses. I’m sure Sophia will learn to spell “substitute” before she gets to 6th grade…

A Sub For Santa...

Ever wonder what would happen if Santa ever needed a substitute for the big night? Well it might go something like this:

From: The Blog O'Cheese

The following is an excerpt from a speech by a She-Claus mom to the elves just before she embarks on her Christmas Eve night - delivering toys to the good girls and boys around the world. 

"Attention Elves! [Echo: Elves... elves... elves]  I SAID, ATTENTION ELVES!

I am NOT going to ask you to be quiet AGAIN!  Do you understand?

First things first: Do these flannel pants with white cotton cuffs and added padding in the buttocks make my butt look big?

Nevermind, nevermind. Don't answer that.  Now, let's get down to business...."

Click the link->  to read the rest 

Stapled Kid…

I was working in a 4th grade classroom and in the middle of a lesson when a tiny Asian boy came up and asked to go to the office.

Me: Can it wait till recess?
Kid: No, I stapled myself.

Now, I’ve had enough experience with almost all kinds of excuses to take a little walk to the office for every known “imagined trauma” known to kid-kind. This sounded like the “I got a paper cut, call the EMTs!!” variety.

I wasn’t going to annoy the office because of a minor “injury” like this. A cursory look showed it wasn’t even bleeding. Though one end of the staple was still sticking in the end of his finger, I was sure that simply pulling it out wouldn’t hurt and he’d be fine.

Me: Why are we playing with the stapler? We are supposed to be reading a story.
Kid: I thought it was broken and tried to fix it. I need to go to the office.

The kid is starting to appear a bit pale as I took a closer look at the injury. He had not only stuck himself in the finger with a staple, he had managed to put the staple completely through and out the other fleshy side of his finger! The boy is quivering and looking a bit green. I think he’s gonna faint on me!

Me: Go! Go now and take a friend with you.

The last thing I wanted was for the kid to faint half way to the office. I called to let them know the situation and that I had sent someone to go with him to make sure he got there.

At recess, I received an update call from the office letting me know that the staple was successfully removed by the school nurse and that the grandparents were coming to take him home. The grandparents wanted also to stop by the classroom to “inspect the stapler”. I could only wonder what answers to questions they might have from examining a common kid sized stapler.

My guess was the grandparents actually wanted to “inspect” the incompetent substitute teacher that would let their grandson become mutilated by negligently operating dangerous industrial office machinery.

So, after inspecting the kid sized finger sticker, the grandparents and the boy had a short discussion in native dialect. The boy didn’t want to go home and convinced his grandparents he could stay the rest or the day.

Tomorrow’s lesson: “Electric outlets and metal paperclips – a no, no!”

Happy Thanksgiving 2010!

Here's wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving with lots of good stuff to eat and be thankful for!

We're partaking in the traditional dinner at the grand-kids house in town. For me I'm just thankful that I won't have to repeat the hunt for turkey parts from a few years ago. My job yesterday was simply obtain the last few ingredients for the apple pie that Claudette is preparing as I write this. The only hard thing to locate yesterday was a parking spot at the local Costco.

 P.S. I can say without reservation that Claudette makes THE BEST apple pie ever and that's not bragging. It's just a fact.

When Unions Attack...

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie had a face to face discussion with the head of the Bergen County Education Association about a teachers union’s memo that included a "prayer" that suggested it was time for him to die.

Christie's response:



Email excerpt:
“Dear Lord this year you have taken away my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze, my favorite actress, Farrah Fawcett, my favorite singer, Michael Jackson, and my favorite salesman, Billy Mays. I just wanted to let you know that Chris Christie is my favorite governor.”

Tipped from Darren over at http://rightontheleftcoast.blogspot.com/

Colors...

You would think that an average college graduate with a BS degree in math and more than 30yrs of professional computer software programming experience, WITH an unrelated additional six years of experience substitute teaching at all elementary grades from Kinder through sixth grades would be able to handle any 3rd grade worksheet without too much difficulty. Yea, that was my personal misconception up until this week in a 3rd grade classroom.

The science lesson was to complete a worksheet on “The Parts of Plants” which include classifying, identifying parts of plants, what each part does and finally coloring plant pictures with crayons.

Guess which part was my downfall.

“What color is fuchsia?” the boy in a Raiders t-shirt asked. I didn’t have a clue. In fact I thought fuchsia WAS a flower, not a color.

“Uhhh, let me see the worksheet” is my standard stalling tactic when they have me stumped. The sheet pictured four plants and a numbered coded color diagram to indicate what colors to use.

Red, green, blue, peach and even red-orange are pretty straightforward. But there at #11 was “Fuchsia”. I was hoping to get a clue when I see that the plant part for #11 was the flower part and not something easy like the bark of a tree (brown). I sent him off to ask some buddies in class to see what color THEY might decide to use.

Next came two girls lugging a huge plastic bin with what looked like a couple thousand loose crayons asking: “What color crayon is cerulean? We can’t find it in here.” I sent them off as well. The kids eventually DID find the “cerulean” and “fuchsia” crayons in the big box.

I used them to mark a copy of the worksheet (below) to bring home and ask if this was supposed to be common knowledge among the average, intelligent, unbiased adult female that happens to be married to clueless male.

Turns out, it IS!

Books or Movies?

What do kids willingly read in school? The Harry Potter books were the top contender a couple years back before the shift toward vampires and werewolf tales. I don’t know if the movies enticed the kids to read books or whether the books made the movies blockbuster hits with kids.

One other book I have frequently seen in the classroom since I started substitute teaching six years ago is titled “Flipped”. It’s a story about a young boy who moves into a new neighborhood and meets a local girl. The book alternates between parallel story lines of the two main characters as they get to know each other in a he-said she-said style.

Will the book make a good movie? Check it out…