Flood of Assignments...

Tomorrow is the start of last “work week” before the Thanksgiving break. Previous experience indicates this week to be a dead week substitute teaching wise.

It’s frowned upon by the school district to “extend” week-long breaks by calling in “sick” the Friday previous or the Monday following. Still, a few assignments do show up from time to time.

I was therefore surprised to see a total of thirteen open assignments for a single school starting the Friday before Thanksgiving break, extending through most of December and even a few the first week(s) of Jan/2014.

The assignments listed various different teachers at all grade levels so I don't believe this portends a mass group holiday exodus. The school must be doing some kind of school wide training for the entire staff over the next couple "holiday" months.

The only downer is that each assignment is for only a half day each, which also means half-day pay.

I took a single, pre-turkey Friday assignment and skipped the rest with fingers crossed to snag some better paying assignments for December/January.

Subbing Halloween...

I had a 5^th grade assignment October 31 (Halloween). It was an easy if somewhat amped up, tiring kind of day. It helped that it was a minimum day and the kids were going home right after lunch.

I had already listed myself as "unavailable" in the sub system for the post-Halloween Friday, anticipating a quiet three-day weekend instead of enduring the chaos awaiting me if I braved any classroom.

I got back late from a Halloween party that night knowing I could sleep in and relax without dealing with dozens of kids recovering last night's sugar high. I was surprised by the late morning call.

L: "Hello? Mr. Perry? This is Lisa at xyz school.

Me: Hi, Lisa

L: Uhh, where are you?

Me: I'm here at home.

(...and knowing what comes next, I'm ready to decline the assignment request. I was up late. I'm still tired from the party. I'm still nice and warm in my jammies anticipating a relaxing afternoon off)

L: Are you on your way?

Me: (??) ..uh, no. I don't have an assignment today...do I?

L: You are supposed to be here for Ms. L's class. Remember a few weeks ago when I asked you about it and you said yes?

Me: (visualize: dropped jaw and panicked memory recall...)

I totally forgot to log it in the calendar and I didn't check the sub system as I was planning to take today off!

L: Are you still coming in?

Me: Yea, but I need 30min if that's ok. I totally understand if you have someone else to get there sooner. I'm really sorry that I screwed up.

L: No, that's fine. We'll have someone covering until you get here.

Thirty minutes (...or less), I'm at the school office, offering repeated apologies for not showing up today. I'm sure I'm not the first that's totally flaked on an assignment, but it's the first time for me.

As I quick-step out the door and over to my class already in session, I'm greeted by my "sub for the sub".

It's the principal of the school!

Can you remember back when you were still in school and got called down to the principal's office for something you knew you were in trouble for? Yea, that's how I felt.

Offering repeated apologies, she was nice enough to let me off the hook with a "no problem, it happens" kind of response.

In my defense, it would have been handy if the SmartFindExpress system had flagged a warning that I was already listed for an assignment for the same day I was trying to make myself "unavailable".

Good enough for an excuse?.....No, I didn't think so either.

Beyond Folly...

There are tons of advice articles, how-to books, blogs, news stories (most of which involve arrest warrants) about substitute teaching. There are movies and books where the occupation of "substitute teacher" is a cover identity for a more glamorous and adventurous lifestyle. There are, however, very few books of fiction where the main character is "just a substitute teacher".

Emil DeAndreis's book "Beyond Folly" is a work of fiction about a budding poet making ends meets as a 3^rd year substitute teacher in the San Francisco school district. I'm not sure how much of the work is fiction but I certainly recognize a lot of non-fictional situations as only someone experienced as a "real life" sub can attest .

Horton Hagardy has discovered that life as a professional poet does not cover both food and rent...sometimes neither. Meanwhile, waiting for fame and fortune as a poet to blossom, Horton resorts to working as a part time substitute teacher to pay the bills.

Horton is tested and re-tested while juggling to learn new skills dealing with sleep deprivation, classroom management, district office politics, coworker subs and "real" teachers.  

Fame and fortune does eventually end Horton's foray into the education system but not quite the way he planned. 

Available at BlueCubiclePress.com and Amazon.com

Documented Incompetence...

 I majored in and received a BA degree in Mathematics.

I took advanced courses in Algebra, Calculus, Differential Equations, Statistics, Probability Theory, etc while contemplating a possible career as a math teacher. Instead, a couple computer-programming courses changed my course toward a 30yr career as software engineer in Silicon Valley.

Jump to present day 4th grade class. Despite my eventual career change, I am still fully equipped to handle even the toughest problem any 4th grade math book could throw at me. Therefore, when one of the kids approached for some help, I knew I could navigate and guide him to the proper result.

The word problem involved patrons at a movie theater with four multiple-choice answers. Should not be any problem AT ALL for a substitute teacher with such impressive credentials. I even had the TE (Teacher's Edition) with the correct answer indicated!

However, even though I read and reread the problem at least three times there seemed to be some additional data missing to satisfy for any of the four possible answer choices.

This isn't the first time I've come across incorrect or confusing word choice problems in classroom math books. I explained to the class that there seemed to be some kind of error with problem #4 and to go ahead and skip it.

"Your teacher will deal with it on Monday...."

My end of day status report included a statement that math problem #4 on page xx seems to need more information to solve it. I made a copy of the page and brought it home to show Claudette.

Claudette, who also has a BA in Math (with a better GPA), took one look at it and says:

So? The answer is 'C', right? Subtract the number of people attending the afternoon show from the number attending the evening show and you get answer 'C', right? I take back the page. I re-read the problem and it is obviously correct. The indicated answer is indeed the one marked on the TE page.

I must have had some kind of brain fart in class to not "see" the obvious! AND I made it worse in that I left written evidence of my incompetence by documenting it as part of my end of day note for the teacher!!