Friday was the last day of a three day, pre-arranged assignment for a teacher I really like in a class I really like. The first two days it was actually fun to be there. The teacher had laid out detailed plans with books and materials logically arranged. Since I was to be there for three consecutive days, I even had the advantage of reviewing the next day’s plan before I left the classroom.
Friday, I arrived for my last day of this assignment to a school office in chaos. Thirty percent (10) of the teachers were out and they were scrambling to find subs to fill the last minute sick calls. I was SO glad I already had a class that I knew I was prepared for, a class I knew I wouldn’t have any problems with and that was “fun” to be with.
That was before the principal tracked me down while I was on morning yard duty.
“We’re having problems lining up enough subs for all the teachers that are out today. I’m trying to shift people around and I need you to sub for Ms. N in 6th today. I’ll cover your 5th grade class for the first hour until the sub I lined up for your class gets here.”
My questioning look must have conveyed my wounded confusion.
If you have a sub coming in an hour late and you are going to cover the first hour why does that involve me moving from a great 5th grade class to a 6th grade class where I know there are no plans, is a class known to be the same or worse than the one I previously described as the “day I quit” while she gets MY primo class?
As explained by prince, this sub normally only works K-3rd graders and was reluctant to agree to work with 6th graders. In desperation the prince promised he’d arrange it so she would not have to deal with “big scary kids”.
His solution was to give ME the “big scary kids” and hand over my fun class because: “You’re a guy and I know you can handle them”. As it turned out “handle” is a synonym for “survive”.
Sometimes it doesn’t pay to be flexible…
Update: 03/31/2010
I was at the school and met with the teacher of my aborted three day assignment. She related that the Friday I was switched to 6th, her kids had the school psychologist for the first part of the morning, a sub for the rest of the morning and a different sub for the afternoon! She described her kids’ reactions of that day as “disorienting” at best.
In reality, I thought the school psychologist should have taken my 6th graders for the whole day. She probably could have written a couple of books on “abhorrent childhood behavior” from that one experience alone.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
The Day I Quit…
It happened to me last week in a 6th grade class. I’ve worked with this class before when they were 4th and 5th graders. Nothing has changed. If anything it’s gotten even worse.
This class behaves as if every school day is a party day. That’s not to say that everyone in the class behaves this way, but when a good 80% of the class is in full time party mode, the other 20% disappear in the chaos.
After several attempts to get them into the mysteries of bar graphs and histograms for the math lesson, I gave up.
“I see we aren’t going to get much done today so…the text book page for today’s Math is on page 221. Read it yourself and figure it out on your own. The homework assignment is on the board. If anyone has any questions, you can come to the back of the room where I’ll help those who are motivated to do so. I’ll let your teacher know that she’ll probably have to repeat this lesson tomorrow since it isn’t happening today.”
With that, I went back to the teacher’s desk in the back of the room and sat down…waiting to see what affect that had on the class. None!
Not one student came to the back for questions or help. In detailing the events of the day for the teacher to review, I included a note that she would probably have to redo most of the day’s lessons.
“Sorry I couldn’t do a better job for you” was my closing line on the end of day report.
I met the teacher in the teacher’s lounge a couple of days later. She apologized to me for her class and said they are like that for her also and it’s not just an act they put on for subs.
In asking why the school hasn’t tried to break up this group into different classes, she told me that ALL the 6th grade classes are like hers if not worse.
At least I can take a day off after an experience like that. The teacher isn’t so fortunate.
This class behaves as if every school day is a party day. That’s not to say that everyone in the class behaves this way, but when a good 80% of the class is in full time party mode, the other 20% disappear in the chaos.
After several attempts to get them into the mysteries of bar graphs and histograms for the math lesson, I gave up.
“I see we aren’t going to get much done today so…the text book page for today’s Math is on page 221. Read it yourself and figure it out on your own. The homework assignment is on the board. If anyone has any questions, you can come to the back of the room where I’ll help those who are motivated to do so. I’ll let your teacher know that she’ll probably have to repeat this lesson tomorrow since it isn’t happening today.”
With that, I went back to the teacher’s desk in the back of the room and sat down…waiting to see what affect that had on the class. None!
Not one student came to the back for questions or help. In detailing the events of the day for the teacher to review, I included a note that she would probably have to redo most of the day’s lessons.
“Sorry I couldn’t do a better job for you” was my closing line on the end of day report.
I met the teacher in the teacher’s lounge a couple of days later. She apologized to me for her class and said they are like that for her also and it’s not just an act they put on for subs.
In asking why the school hasn’t tried to break up this group into different classes, she told me that ALL the 6th grade classes are like hers if not worse.
At least I can take a day off after an experience like that. The teacher isn’t so fortunate.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Persnickety…
Having students “read out loud” is sometimes very painful.
Readers that are painfully slow as they try to decipher words that they should know by 5th and 6th grade, painfully hard to listen to as they mutter monotone throughout the section or read machine-gunned words nonstop with no consideration for punctuation marks or spaces between words.
“Here’s a tip!” I suggested to one machinegun boy, “When you come to a period or question mark, take a breath before continuing. All that got me was exaggerated inhale-exhale sound effects at the end of every sentence to the amusement of the rest of the class.
At least I know he’s reading!
When time starts getting tight and I know they have a worksheet or practice book page to complete for the reading session, I’ll sometimes take over the reading and let them follow along.
In reading an essay about Alaska’s grizzly bears, I was attempting to cover the last three pages of the story to allow them time to complete the associated practice book page.
“….in the Unites States…( “LOWER Unites States!” interrupted the buzz cut kid on my left)…uh, yes! You are right…in the lower United States…blah, blah, blah…one day...( “one AUTUMN day!” (buzz cut kid again)…(me with a baleful look: “right again!...one autumn day …blah, blah, blah…you don’t want to bump heads with a bear while berry picking...( BC: “BLUEBERRY picking!”)…
At this point, the girl across the table told him that he was being rude and to knock it off. “Yea, quit being so persnickety!” her friend chided in.
After giving an impressed, approving look at persnickety-girl, for using that totally unexpected unusual word in correct context, I addressed the class.
Yes it IS a bit rude to correct the teacher while reading, but I DID skip some words. At least I know he’s reading along, even if it’s only to spot my next mistake.
As soon as I said it, I knew I’d regret it.
As I read the last few pages at a slower pace to make absolutely sure I didn’t skip any words, thirty kids were focused on the text, word by word, line by line to see who could be the first detect my next error.
At least I know they’re reading!
Readers that are painfully slow as they try to decipher words that they should know by 5th and 6th grade, painfully hard to listen to as they mutter monotone throughout the section or read machine-gunned words nonstop with no consideration for punctuation marks or spaces between words.
“Here’s a tip!” I suggested to one machinegun boy, “When you come to a period or question mark, take a breath before continuing. All that got me was exaggerated inhale-exhale sound effects at the end of every sentence to the amusement of the rest of the class.
At least I know he’s reading!
When time starts getting tight and I know they have a worksheet or practice book page to complete for the reading session, I’ll sometimes take over the reading and let them follow along.
In reading an essay about Alaska’s grizzly bears, I was attempting to cover the last three pages of the story to allow them time to complete the associated practice book page.
“….in the Unites States…( “LOWER Unites States!” interrupted the buzz cut kid on my left)…uh, yes! You are right…in the lower United States…blah, blah, blah…one day...( “one AUTUMN day!” (buzz cut kid again)…(me with a baleful look: “right again!...one autumn day …blah, blah, blah…you don’t want to bump heads with a bear while berry picking...( BC: “BLUEBERRY picking!”)…
At this point, the girl across the table told him that he was being rude and to knock it off. “Yea, quit being so persnickety!” her friend chided in.
After giving an impressed, approving look at persnickety-girl, for using that totally unexpected unusual word in correct context, I addressed the class.
Yes it IS a bit rude to correct the teacher while reading, but I DID skip some words. At least I know he’s reading along, even if it’s only to spot my next mistake.
As soon as I said it, I knew I’d regret it.
As I read the last few pages at a slower pace to make absolutely sure I didn’t skip any words, thirty kids were focused on the text, word by word, line by line to see who could be the first detect my next error.
At least I know they’re reading!
Friday, March 05, 2010
Flemmy Loogies
I worked only two half-day assignments this week. Took myself off the sub list for today to go out and find me some drugs for the hacking-cough-flemmy-loogie thing that’s going around.
Several people I know have had it for a month or more. At Claudette's suggestion I tried Mucinex-D and seems to get me through the night and the next morning. I just hope it gets me through four subbing assignments starting Monday.
I would have taken myself off the list for the next week, but a teacher actually begged me to take her class for two days. She insisted they were a great class.
Wanting to say "no", I agreed figuring I'd still have the rest of the week off.
Then I get a call the next day at home from another teacher at the same school: "I know you're already subbing for Ms. F on Mon/Tues so can I have you for Wed/Thur?"
Now how is it going to look at this point if I already said "yes" to one and "no" to her friend?
So now I'm working MOST of next week and counting pills to see if I can make it through to next Friday.
I wonder how many boxes of the stuff I can buy before the government thinks I’m a PCP chemist?
Several people I know have had it for a month or more. At Claudette's suggestion I tried Mucinex-D and seems to get me through the night and the next morning. I just hope it gets me through four subbing assignments starting Monday.
I would have taken myself off the list for the next week, but a teacher actually begged me to take her class for two days. She insisted they were a great class.
Wanting to say "no", I agreed figuring I'd still have the rest of the week off.
Then I get a call the next day at home from another teacher at the same school: "I know you're already subbing for Ms. F on Mon/Tues so can I have you for Wed/Thur?"
Now how is it going to look at this point if I already said "yes" to one and "no" to her friend?
So now I'm working MOST of next week and counting pills to see if I can make it through to next Friday.
I wonder how many boxes of the stuff I can buy before the government thinks I’m a PCP chemist?
Monday, March 01, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Science, Fair?
There are several things that will distract me in the classroom but, by far, the topmost irritant is the plastic water bottle that seems to populate every desk in every grade.
Now, it’s not the bottle itself or the kid sneaking an occasional drink during class that bothers me. It is kids playing with and making “crackling” noises during class that will get my unwelcome attention.
If I stop the lesson and laser sight the “bottle cracker”, he/she will eventually notice and will slowly remove it from the desktop, stashing it of sight.
If they are really into the bottle music thing and absolutely clueless to their surroundings, it takes the other kids at the table to prod the kid’s attention back to the front of the room where he/she discovers that I’m intently staring directly at them.
The bottle disappears.
So it was in a 2nd grade classroom yesterday that a tiny girl bottle cracker (aka: BC) got my attention. After asking that the bottle be put away, “BC” blurts: “But it’s my science fair spearmint!!”
I looked a bit more closely and saw that one bottle was 1/3 filled with dirt and some leaf bits on top. The other looked like it had about the same amount of cloudy water.
Me: That’s nice but let’s not play with the bottles during class, ok?
BC: It’s about worms!
Me: We’re supposed to be doing math right now. Maybe we’ll have time for science fair later.
BC: See! Worms live in wet dirt and eat leaves! Worms can’t live in just water by itself!
BC is undeterred and excited now as she approaches the desk with both bottles. She shows me the cloudy water bottle with five or maybe six worm parts floating on top.
Now I’ve lost control of what I was supposed to teach about math. Several kids come up for a viewing of worm carcasses in a bottle as BC proudly displays the cloudy bottle for each to see.
Now, it’s not my nature to be real intimidating to little kids. I would not allow a kid to interrupt the lesson like this if it was a 6th, 5th or even a 4th grade classroom. But at this point if the kids seem interested in “science” and even if they have to re-do skip counting as an introduction to multiplication tomorrow; I’m going to let them “off the leash” for a bit.
One of the boys is looking intently into the cloudy bottle and gets excited. “One of those worms is moving!” he announces to the rest. Now we have several little hands and heads trying to gain a look at the miracle of worm resurrection!
BC is confused and surprised as several other kids confirm the sighting of an un-drowned worm in the bottle. She looks intently into the bottle several seconds attempting to confirm the presence of the un-dead worm.
What happened next was surprising but not totally unexpected.
I don’t know if BC actually SAW the worm move or not but it’s a moot point as she snatched the bottle back and began violently shaking the bottle for several seconds.
BC: Ok, NOW they’re all dead!
Now, as I understand the process, science fair projects involve stating a theory, designing an experiment to test the hypothesis and doing the experiment to measure the results to prove or disprove the theory.
BC might not have a future as a “real” scientist but there might be something for her in climate scientology…
Now THIS would have been an interesting project to do for the science fair…
Is that "REAL iron" in iron fortified foods?
Now, it’s not the bottle itself or the kid sneaking an occasional drink during class that bothers me. It is kids playing with and making “crackling” noises during class that will get my unwelcome attention.
If I stop the lesson and laser sight the “bottle cracker”, he/she will eventually notice and will slowly remove it from the desktop, stashing it of sight.
If they are really into the bottle music thing and absolutely clueless to their surroundings, it takes the other kids at the table to prod the kid’s attention back to the front of the room where he/she discovers that I’m intently staring directly at them.
The bottle disappears.
So it was in a 2nd grade classroom yesterday that a tiny girl bottle cracker (aka: BC) got my attention. After asking that the bottle be put away, “BC” blurts: “But it’s my science fair spearmint!!”
I looked a bit more closely and saw that one bottle was 1/3 filled with dirt and some leaf bits on top. The other looked like it had about the same amount of cloudy water.
Me: That’s nice but let’s not play with the bottles during class, ok?
BC: It’s about worms!
Me: We’re supposed to be doing math right now. Maybe we’ll have time for science fair later.
BC: See! Worms live in wet dirt and eat leaves! Worms can’t live in just water by itself!
BC is undeterred and excited now as she approaches the desk with both bottles. She shows me the cloudy water bottle with five or maybe six worm parts floating on top.
Now I’ve lost control of what I was supposed to teach about math. Several kids come up for a viewing of worm carcasses in a bottle as BC proudly displays the cloudy bottle for each to see.
Now, it’s not my nature to be real intimidating to little kids. I would not allow a kid to interrupt the lesson like this if it was a 6th, 5th or even a 4th grade classroom. But at this point if the kids seem interested in “science” and even if they have to re-do skip counting as an introduction to multiplication tomorrow; I’m going to let them “off the leash” for a bit.
One of the boys is looking intently into the cloudy bottle and gets excited. “One of those worms is moving!” he announces to the rest. Now we have several little hands and heads trying to gain a look at the miracle of worm resurrection!
BC is confused and surprised as several other kids confirm the sighting of an un-drowned worm in the bottle. She looks intently into the bottle several seconds attempting to confirm the presence of the un-dead worm.
What happened next was surprising but not totally unexpected.
I don’t know if BC actually SAW the worm move or not but it’s a moot point as she snatched the bottle back and began violently shaking the bottle for several seconds.
BC: Ok, NOW they’re all dead!
Now, as I understand the process, science fair projects involve stating a theory, designing an experiment to test the hypothesis and doing the experiment to measure the results to prove or disprove the theory.
BC might not have a future as a “real” scientist but there might be something for her in climate scientology…
Now THIS would have been an interesting project to do for the science fair…
Is that "REAL iron" in iron fortified foods?
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The Death of Cursive…
The first assignment after the winter break was a rainy half day in a 5th grade class. The lesson plan had a typical work load including a practice spelling test.
Plan instruction: “After the test, have them self correct with handout and practice writing each word 5x.”
Easy peasy lemon squeezy…until the end of the test when I handed out the spelling work sheet (see below) for self correction purposes.
The first hands started to appear: “Do we have to write the words five times in cursive?”
Since this is a spelling test and the emphasis should be correct spelling over the method; I allowed those who wanted, to “print” instead of “writing” the words to do so.
That satisfied most but not all; “But, I can’t read cursive!” was the next complaint.
Sure enough, there was a note on the lesson plan that stated I might have to “print” the spelling words on the whiteboard for those who can’t read cursive. Amazingly, I was not surprised that today’s 5th graders can’t write cursive longhand. I was surprised that I expected them to be able to read it! Why would I expect them to read longhand when they don’t write?
Personally, my penmanship is so bad it’s illegible. Other than my signature, I almost never write cursive because I never had to use it. The introduction of the typewriter and subsequently the computer keyboard had pretty much made “fancy writing” obsolete by the time I left school. Fortunately for me, a 30 year career in software development never once required writing documentation longhand.
While there are some who might be nostalgic about loss of beautiful penmanship, I can’t see the point other than as artistic exercise. Try Googling “death of cursive” and you can see the handwriting on the wall, so to speak.
(I was going to post this using a cursive font, but the Blogger editor doesn't provide one!)
Plan instruction: “After the test, have them self correct with handout and practice writing each word 5x.”
Easy peasy lemon squeezy…until the end of the test when I handed out the spelling work sheet (see below) for self correction purposes.
The first hands started to appear: “Do we have to write the words five times in cursive?”
Since this is a spelling test and the emphasis should be correct spelling over the method; I allowed those who wanted, to “print” instead of “writing” the words to do so.
That satisfied most but not all; “But, I can’t read cursive!” was the next complaint.
Sure enough, there was a note on the lesson plan that stated I might have to “print” the spelling words on the whiteboard for those who can’t read cursive. Amazingly, I was not surprised that today’s 5th graders can’t write cursive longhand. I was surprised that I expected them to be able to read it! Why would I expect them to read longhand when they don’t write?
Personally, my penmanship is so bad it’s illegible. Other than my signature, I almost never write cursive because I never had to use it. The introduction of the typewriter and subsequently the computer keyboard had pretty much made “fancy writing” obsolete by the time I left school. Fortunately for me, a 30 year career in software development never once required writing documentation longhand.
While there are some who might be nostalgic about loss of beautiful penmanship, I can’t see the point other than as artistic exercise. Try Googling “death of cursive” and you can see the handwriting on the wall, so to speak.
(I was going to post this using a cursive font, but the Blogger editor doesn't provide one!)
Monday, February 22, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Art, History, Drama and Bit of Sand...
Ukrainian artist uses a giant light box, dramatic music, imagination and "sand painting" skills to interpret Germany's invasion and occupation of Ukraine during WWII
Monday, February 15, 2010
Origami Arsenal...
The last week leading into this winter break week was pretty busy. The four assignments in five days went pretty quickly. Only two incidents of note are worth mentioning.
The first was having a “ninja throwing star” sail by my ear as I opened the door to the classroom in the morning. No, it wasn’t a REAL throwing star but one made of folded paper.
The 4th grader ninja kid was more surprised than I was at how close it came to giving me a potential severe paper cut.
I could have sent him off to the office, but instead I made him hand over his entire origami arsenal for the trash can and wrote a note to his teacher for future discipline disposition. I didn’t send him to the office because this school has a weak disciplinarian principal and I knew nothing of consequence would come of it.
“Boys will be boys!”
The second incident occurred at the same school the Friday before the break. I had about 20 more minutes to go over the lesson plan for this final day when there was a knock on the door. The dad, standing there with his son, clearly wasn’t expecting me as I opened the door.
Dad: Uhhh, is Mr. K here?
Me: No, I’m substituting for him today. Can I help you?
The dad and son had just come from meeting with the principle about an incident that had happened previously in the week. His kid was allegedly punched by another kid with a sharp pencil sticking out between the knuckles of his fist. He wanted me to make sure this other kid would not bother his kid today.
That was the shortened story of the conversation. The actual conversation lasted for most of my remaining prep time and included threats of suing the school, the other kid’s parents, the principal, and having the aggressor kid expelled from school etc, etc, etc…
I told him that I completely understood his concerns and promised to watch out for the kid today. I would also leave a note for Mr. K to inform him about his concerns for the safety of his kid when school resumes after winter break. That’s pretty much all I can do as the daily replacement for his teacher.
As the pair turned to leave, I saw the principal making his way out to my classroom.
He saw the pair leave. He told me that “aggressor boy” does have a reputation in the school but for the other kid not to have reported the problem on the day it occurred made him doubt which boy to believe. He asked what thoughts I had about having “aggressor boy” in class today.
I’m thinking: “You want ME to make that decision for you? Ok, then…”
The last day of school before a week off doesn’t have much going on in the classroom so I suggested that he should keep “aggressor boy” in his office for the day, and I would send down his daily work to do.
I don’t need any more complications today.
The first was having a “ninja throwing star” sail by my ear as I opened the door to the classroom in the morning. No, it wasn’t a REAL throwing star but one made of folded paper.
The 4th grader ninja kid was more surprised than I was at how close it came to giving me a potential severe paper cut.
I could have sent him off to the office, but instead I made him hand over his entire origami arsenal for the trash can and wrote a note to his teacher for future discipline disposition. I didn’t send him to the office because this school has a weak disciplinarian principal and I knew nothing of consequence would come of it.
“Boys will be boys!”
The second incident occurred at the same school the Friday before the break. I had about 20 more minutes to go over the lesson plan for this final day when there was a knock on the door. The dad, standing there with his son, clearly wasn’t expecting me as I opened the door.
Dad: Uhhh, is Mr. K here?
Me: No, I’m substituting for him today. Can I help you?
The dad and son had just come from meeting with the principle about an incident that had happened previously in the week. His kid was allegedly punched by another kid with a sharp pencil sticking out between the knuckles of his fist. He wanted me to make sure this other kid would not bother his kid today.
That was the shortened story of the conversation. The actual conversation lasted for most of my remaining prep time and included threats of suing the school, the other kid’s parents, the principal, and having the aggressor kid expelled from school etc, etc, etc…
I told him that I completely understood his concerns and promised to watch out for the kid today. I would also leave a note for Mr. K to inform him about his concerns for the safety of his kid when school resumes after winter break. That’s pretty much all I can do as the daily replacement for his teacher.
As the pair turned to leave, I saw the principal making his way out to my classroom.
He saw the pair leave. He told me that “aggressor boy” does have a reputation in the school but for the other kid not to have reported the problem on the day it occurred made him doubt which boy to believe. He asked what thoughts I had about having “aggressor boy” in class today.
I’m thinking: “You want ME to make that decision for you? Ok, then…”
The last day of school before a week off doesn’t have much going on in the classroom so I suggested that he should keep “aggressor boy” in his office for the day, and I would send down his daily work to do.
I don’t need any more complications today.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Modern Geography Lesson
Do you know where the Faroe Islands are?
Me neither, until I saw it listed on the blog FlagCounter tracker (see the link in the left hand column of the blog) .
Located somewhere between Iceland and Norway, FlagCounter.com lists:
"...The population of the Faroe Islands is largely descended from Viking settlers who arrived in the 9th century. The islands have been connected politically to Denmark since the 14th century. A high degree of self government was granted the Faroese in 1948, who have autonomy over most internal affairs, while Denmark is responsible for justice, defense, and foreign affairs. The Faroe Islands are not part of the European Union."
Geography is much more interesting this way.
Me neither, until I saw it listed on the blog FlagCounter tracker (see the link in the left hand column of the blog) .
Located somewhere between Iceland and Norway, FlagCounter.com lists:
"...The population of the Faroe Islands is largely descended from Viking settlers who arrived in the 9th century. The islands have been connected politically to Denmark since the 14th century. A high degree of self government was granted the Faroese in 1948, who have autonomy over most internal affairs, while Denmark is responsible for justice, defense, and foreign affairs. The Faroe Islands are not part of the European Union."
Geography is much more interesting this way.
Friday, February 05, 2010
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Young Adults…
I intended to take the day off yesterday. After six straight classes of 5th grade children, I needed a break.
Anticipating a very long weekend until my next scheduled assignment on Wednesday, I declined calls on Friday, Saturday and Sunday to take classes for Monday and Tuesday mornings. After all, being around children constantly can drive a person a bit batty. Just ask any mother of 2 or more school age kids.
Then Sunday night I got a request to sub Monday at one of the three schools in the district I hate to turn down. I hesitate to turn them down because they don’t call that often. More importantly, the quality of student, in general, tends to be more…well…how should I politely say this?...”mature” is an apt description.
There you have it; I passed on several offers to substitute children in favor of one class of young adults the same age.
Now, if only some of the adults I have to interact with wouldn’t act like children most of the time, life would be good!!
Anticipating a very long weekend until my next scheduled assignment on Wednesday, I declined calls on Friday, Saturday and Sunday to take classes for Monday and Tuesday mornings. After all, being around children constantly can drive a person a bit batty. Just ask any mother of 2 or more school age kids.
Then Sunday night I got a request to sub Monday at one of the three schools in the district I hate to turn down. I hesitate to turn them down because they don’t call that often. More importantly, the quality of student, in general, tends to be more…well…how should I politely say this?...”mature” is an apt description.
There you have it; I passed on several offers to substitute children in favor of one class of young adults the same age.
Now, if only some of the adults I have to interact with wouldn’t act like children most of the time, life would be good!!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
It's Only January...
Subbing 5th graders on Tuesday, I pretty much listed all the boys in the class as disruptive. Each trying to out “goof-ball” each other to see who would win the #1 slacker award for the day.
By contrast, today’s 5th grade class (different school) had only one goof-ball. Not a boy but a cute, petite girl with a huge bubbly personality but zero work ethic and no sense of “personal space”.
Constantly out of her seat and wandering the room visiting friends whenever my back was turned. The final straw was when I caught her sneaking around with scissors in hand trying to snip off part of another girls pony tail.
“You’re gonna write my name down aren’t you...”, she said as I confiscated the scissors before any serious damage occurred. “You got it, kid”, writing her up and checking the clock to see how much more time until the final bell.
Maybe tomorrow will be better at yet another school, but with different 5th graders.
By contrast, today’s 5th grade class (different school) had only one goof-ball. Not a boy but a cute, petite girl with a huge bubbly personality but zero work ethic and no sense of “personal space”.
Constantly out of her seat and wandering the room visiting friends whenever my back was turned. The final straw was when I caught her sneaking around with scissors in hand trying to snip off part of another girls pony tail.
“You’re gonna write my name down aren’t you...”, she said as I confiscated the scissors before any serious damage occurred. “You got it, kid”, writing her up and checking the clock to see how much more time until the final bell.
Maybe tomorrow will be better at yet another school, but with different 5th graders.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Taking Advantage…
Subs are not paid an hourly rate. Instead, we are paid a flat “full day” or “half day” rate. Anything less than four hours is paid at ½ the full daily rate.
A normal working school day is something like 6½ to 7 hours. My full day starts ½ hour before the kids hit the door and “officially” ends at the final bell.
Unofficially my day continues “until all necessary work is completed”. This could mean extending for bus or parking lot duty after school until all the kids are gone.
Every Thursday, in the district I work for, is “minimum day”. The school day is about 1hr shorter than the normal school day. The school day ends pretty much at the end of the lunch period. Subbing on minimum days is a bonus in that we are paid the full day rate for about 5hrs work. For obvious reasons, teachers are reluctant use a discretionary “sub day” on Thursdays.
So when sub line called on Monday for one of those rare “minimum day Thursdays”, I was ready to book it.
That was until I heard that the indicated start time was 1 hour after the normal start of school. The teacher’s appended recorded message told the story:
“I will be in the classroom for the first hour. Since this is a minimum day, this will be only a half day assignment. If you could come in a few minutes early, I need you to run some copies that you will need for the class. You also have recess and after school bus duty. Thanks for covering!”
Her translation:
“I can get most of the day off by working only 1hr in the morning and save myself a ½ a discretionary sub day for later”
My translation:
“I get screwed out of full day’s pay by an hour AND she wants me to come in early!”
I passed on the assignment just on principal.
There might be some newly minted sub that is just waiting for that first call and would gladly snap it up. I hope not.
I was bit bemused to get the automated call for this same assignment the next day. It seems the no one in the substitute pool took the bait on the first pass and it was cycling around again for a second try.
As I turned it down for the 2nd time, I wondered how it would all turn out. Would she give in and re-list it as a proper “full sub day” or would she give up, go to work and save it for another time?
No one likes to be taken advantage of.
A normal working school day is something like 6½ to 7 hours. My full day starts ½ hour before the kids hit the door and “officially” ends at the final bell.
Unofficially my day continues “until all necessary work is completed”. This could mean extending for bus or parking lot duty after school until all the kids are gone.
Every Thursday, in the district I work for, is “minimum day”. The school day is about 1hr shorter than the normal school day. The school day ends pretty much at the end of the lunch period. Subbing on minimum days is a bonus in that we are paid the full day rate for about 5hrs work. For obvious reasons, teachers are reluctant use a discretionary “sub day” on Thursdays.
So when sub line called on Monday for one of those rare “minimum day Thursdays”, I was ready to book it.
That was until I heard that the indicated start time was 1 hour after the normal start of school. The teacher’s appended recorded message told the story:
“I will be in the classroom for the first hour. Since this is a minimum day, this will be only a half day assignment. If you could come in a few minutes early, I need you to run some copies that you will need for the class. You also have recess and after school bus duty. Thanks for covering!”
Her translation:
“I can get most of the day off by working only 1hr in the morning and save myself a ½ a discretionary sub day for later”
My translation:
“I get screwed out of full day’s pay by an hour AND she wants me to come in early!”
I passed on the assignment just on principal.
There might be some newly minted sub that is just waiting for that first call and would gladly snap it up. I hope not.
I was bit bemused to get the automated call for this same assignment the next day. It seems the no one in the substitute pool took the bait on the first pass and it was cycling around again for a second try.
As I turned it down for the 2nd time, I wondered how it would all turn out. Would she give in and re-list it as a proper “full sub day” or would she give up, go to work and save it for another time?
No one likes to be taken advantage of.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Are You Weirder Than a 5th Grader?
I sometimes get weird questions and comments from students in the classes I sub.
Usual questions and comments:
Weird questions and comments:
That last comment was made by a 5th grader while in the company of her regular teacher, no less. A baleful look from me and a “WHAT DID YOU SAY?” from her teacher ended that discussion.
What’s the weirdest question or comment you’ve ever heard from a 10yr old non-family member?
Usual questions and comments:
- How old are you?
- You’re funny!
- Are you married?
- Do you have kids?
- Is your wife a sub too?
Weird questions and comments:
- Can I touch your head?
That last comment was made by a 5th grader while in the company of her regular teacher, no less. A baleful look from me and a “WHAT DID YOU SAY?” from her teacher ended that discussion.
What’s the weirdest question or comment you’ve ever heard from a 10yr old non-family member?
Monday, January 18, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Wired For Sound…
From part of the email I received from the teacher for this 5th grade class last week:
“…I am planning to head in early to work tomorrow morning for lesson plans for you. I just wanted to give you a little back ground of some of my kids…
…J has hearing aids but does not like to discuss it in front of the class. I normally wear an ear piece/mic that feeds into her hearing aid, however having strep throat I am not going to have you wear it. She is really good at reading lips. Her hearing loss is mild but do not get mad at her if you think she is not listening. When talking to her, just make sure you have eye contact and you’re not talking to her back.”
When I came in the next morning, I saw the ear piece/mic on the desk. It was a single over the ear, flesh colored, straw mic that you sometimes see worn by actors and singers in stage performances. Connected to a separate, small battery control pack it didn’t look like much. But, what a fantastic use in the classroom for a kid with hearing problems!
I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t get a chance to use it but not disappointed enough to risk getting strep throat. J did just fine in class. I did have to remind myself, at times, to look in her direction when giving instruction and reading. It was the other times that “being wired for sound” might have been a distinct disadvantage.
Just how sensitive is that mic? What is its range? You have to be extra careful in what you say when you think no one can hear you.
I asked a few questions about the sensitivity and range of the technology at lunch in the teachers lounge. One of the aides told me that the teacher was in the classroom during recess one day and was wondering much the same thing. She saw J leaning against a tree on the lawn.
Through a closed classroom door and in a calm voice she said: “J, can you hear me?” and watched as J turned around and waved at her from about 100ft away.
So…when Robert emptied the contents of another kids desk on the floor when I was in the classroom, did I use an inaudible expletive before I unloaded on him or did I just think it? Would I have forgotten to take the mic off before going to the teachers lounge for lunch or used the bathroom?
All good things to think about the next time I’m in this classroom and wired for sound…
“…I am planning to head in early to work tomorrow morning for lesson plans for you. I just wanted to give you a little back ground of some of my kids…
…J has hearing aids but does not like to discuss it in front of the class. I normally wear an ear piece/mic that feeds into her hearing aid, however having strep throat I am not going to have you wear it. She is really good at reading lips. Her hearing loss is mild but do not get mad at her if you think she is not listening. When talking to her, just make sure you have eye contact and you’re not talking to her back.”
When I came in the next morning, I saw the ear piece/mic on the desk. It was a single over the ear, flesh colored, straw mic that you sometimes see worn by actors and singers in stage performances. Connected to a separate, small battery control pack it didn’t look like much. But, what a fantastic use in the classroom for a kid with hearing problems!
I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t get a chance to use it but not disappointed enough to risk getting strep throat. J did just fine in class. I did have to remind myself, at times, to look in her direction when giving instruction and reading. It was the other times that “being wired for sound” might have been a distinct disadvantage.
Just how sensitive is that mic? What is its range? You have to be extra careful in what you say when you think no one can hear you.
I asked a few questions about the sensitivity and range of the technology at lunch in the teachers lounge. One of the aides told me that the teacher was in the classroom during recess one day and was wondering much the same thing. She saw J leaning against a tree on the lawn.
Through a closed classroom door and in a calm voice she said: “J, can you hear me?” and watched as J turned around and waved at her from about 100ft away.
So…when Robert emptied the contents of another kids desk on the floor when I was in the classroom, did I use an inaudible expletive before I unloaded on him or did I just think it? Would I have forgotten to take the mic off before going to the teachers lounge for lunch or used the bathroom?
All good things to think about the next time I’m in this classroom and wired for sound…
Thursday, January 07, 2010
A Shoe for a Pencil…
“I can’t find my pencil! I lost my pencil! My pencil is broken! Someone took it!...etc”
The litany of the mysterious disappearing pencil is endless. I haven’t been in a classroom yet where there wasn’t at least one person standing at my desk begging me so solve his/her shortage of pencils problem.
Some classrooms have a stash of new or used pencils for loan. Some substitutes bring extra pens and pencils to lend for such occasions.
…I don’t.
Even if the teacher has a stash for loan, I don’t hand them out for free.
Kid: Can I borrow a pencil?
Me: Sure, ask one of the other kids to lend you one.
Kid: No one else has any. Can I borrow one of the teachers’ pencils?
Me: Sure, give me one of your shoes.
Kid: What?
Me: That’s the deal, a shoe for a pencil. When I get the pencil back, you get your shoe back.
That’s how I ended up with four, single shoes under my desk today in 4th grade. There would have been more but the others decide to redouble their efforts in locating a writing implement in the dark recesses of their own desk or the kindness of a kid with a surplus of leadware.
Now before you think I’m mean (…or brilliant depending on your viewpoint), let me explain that this idea isn’t original. Some teachers have hoards of new and used pencils that kids can use without limit. Some schools have pencil vending machines where you can buy one for a quarter. Some teachers use pencils as bribes for correct behavior and rewards.
A 6th grade teacher I worked for a couple of years ago explained that she felt the kids were taking advantage of her generosity with the new pencils so she started “lending” them out only in exchange for one of their shoes. She noticed right away a decrease in requests. A side affect is that it also cuts down on unnecessary interruptions during class time.
Obviously, I believe this woman is brilliant!
4th grade bonus joke of the day:
Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho Cheese!
The litany of the mysterious disappearing pencil is endless. I haven’t been in a classroom yet where there wasn’t at least one person standing at my desk begging me so solve his/her shortage of pencils problem.
Some classrooms have a stash of new or used pencils for loan. Some substitutes bring extra pens and pencils to lend for such occasions.
…I don’t.
Even if the teacher has a stash for loan, I don’t hand them out for free.
Kid: Can I borrow a pencil?
Me: Sure, ask one of the other kids to lend you one.
Kid: No one else has any. Can I borrow one of the teachers’ pencils?
Me: Sure, give me one of your shoes.
Kid: What?
Me: That’s the deal, a shoe for a pencil. When I get the pencil back, you get your shoe back.
That’s how I ended up with four, single shoes under my desk today in 4th grade. There would have been more but the others decide to redouble their efforts in locating a writing implement in the dark recesses of their own desk or the kindness of a kid with a surplus of leadware.
Now before you think I’m mean (…or brilliant depending on your viewpoint), let me explain that this idea isn’t original. Some teachers have hoards of new and used pencils that kids can use without limit. Some schools have pencil vending machines where you can buy one for a quarter. Some teachers use pencils as bribes for correct behavior and rewards.
A 6th grade teacher I worked for a couple of years ago explained that she felt the kids were taking advantage of her generosity with the new pencils so she started “lending” them out only in exchange for one of their shoes. She noticed right away a decrease in requests. A side affect is that it also cuts down on unnecessary interruptions during class time.
Obviously, I believe this woman is brilliant!
4th grade bonus joke of the day:
Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho Cheese!
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