The first half of school year 2010/11 is done and I’m surprised to report that my initial reservations about the unavailability of work didn’t come to pass. The frequency of assignments is about the same but I’m pretty much working at only 20% of the schools in the district instead of the usual 85%.
I wasn’t expecting to work the last Friday before Christmas break so the call from one of the two elusive 15% of schools I never get calls from was a double surprise. I of course took the 6th grade assignment.
The two schools that represent the “elusive 15%” are two of the higher performing schools in the district (API scores of 950+ each). They rarely have teacher absences and when they do occur, I’ve been told, they arrange for their own preferred substitutes. They rarely had to access the “random substitute” line.
Since the office rarely had to deal with the substitute line, they never instituted a priority list of preferred substitutes for the system to work from when the list of fired teachers was exhausted. I was lucky enough to be the random pick that day.
In the classroom, the teacher’s lesson plan was addressed to “Dana”. That told me that either this school HAD found away to get around the new calling rules or that “Dana” was a RIF’ed teacher that she had somehow arranged to have work for her today.
While going over the lesson plan, the teacher in the room across the hall walked in to introduce herself and ask if I had everything I needed. It took a few seconds to realize that we both recognized each other.
“Hey, Aren’t you the guy the kids call Mr. Homework?”
I had worked for her a number of times when she was at a different school several years ago. After exchanging several brief exchanges of “what happened to old acquaintances”, she left to get ready for her own class.
The rest of my day went well, the kids were well behaved, and their teacher came in just before the end of day bell. She introduced herself to me and asked how my day went. I handed her my end of day report which she read silently while the kids watched intently.
“Well, according this report it looks like you guys did really well! Merry Christmas and you’re dismissed!”
As I was leaving, the teacher I met before school today came over to ask how things went. I told her it went well. She told me that she had gone and talked with the office secretary to put in a good for me and get me placed on their priority substitute short list.
Does this mean I’ll get more work at this school the 2nd half of the school year and possibility next? Only time will tell if the unintended consequence of the limited access rule to assignments will turn into an unintended benefit for me next year.
I hope it does.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Year End Family Status...
December 19, 2010
It’s Christmas time again? Where did 2010 go? Our 2010 was the year for changes.
Claudette and I went with some friends on vacation to Kauai, Hawaii. I always like upgrades on vacation but not this time.
Claudette promptly sprained her foot within 20min after checking into the hotel. The next day, we spent some time at the urgent care facility on the island to have the “sprain” upgraded to a “fracture” which pretty much kept her out of the water for the duration. It’s hard to swim strapped into a toes to knee length black “walking” boot. This didn’t prevent the guys from doing a little deep sea fishing which provided us with a few nights of BBQ’d Ahi and Ono while the women relaxed in the warm Hawaiian sun.
Upon our return, Kaiser Hospital re-examined the foot and upgraded the black walking boot to a solid purple cast for a month. It seems the fracture is now upgraded to a special kind of fracture that required a cast, then a period back in the boot and finally back to shoes once again.
Now, personally, I’m not fond of change. As long as something still works, why change? That argument works great for staying with the same partner for 40yrs but doesn’t work so well for not getting new carpet just because it’s outdated. It’s ONLY 35yrs old! Sure it’s rich rust color is more like faded orange now, but it still covered the plywood floors and prevented splinters in my feet, right?
Well, the carpet WAS pulled up in a few places, repaired in a few others with my trusty staple gun and, as we discovered later, a habitat for a few termites near an outer wall in one of the bedrooms.
Claudette wins. We NEED new carpet. But first we need to deal with the termite problem. But before we can deal with the termites, the termite inspector informed us that we needed to get rid of, what he thought was, opossums living under our house.
Just when I thought he was done, he informs us: “While you’re at it you should block the access vents with screening in the attic because birds have been nesting in the insulation up there”. Evidentially, bird waste in the insulation calls for removal and installing new insulation.
So…animals under the house and birds in the attic banned and screened, contaminated insulation replaced, termites killed, new carpet installed, Claudette on two feet again.
All done, right?
Claudette: “You know…the old, crappy baseboard looks pretty shabby against the new carpet and wouldn’t some crown molding in the bedrooms look REALLY nice with new drapes?…”
Merry Christmas and a HAPPY New Year!
…Mark & Claudette
It’s Christmas time again? Where did 2010 go? Our 2010 was the year for changes.
Claudette and I went with some friends on vacation to Kauai, Hawaii. I always like upgrades on vacation but not this time.
Claudette promptly sprained her foot within 20min after checking into the hotel. The next day, we spent some time at the urgent care facility on the island to have the “sprain” upgraded to a “fracture” which pretty much kept her out of the water for the duration. It’s hard to swim strapped into a toes to knee length black “walking” boot. This didn’t prevent the guys from doing a little deep sea fishing which provided us with a few nights of BBQ’d Ahi and Ono while the women relaxed in the warm Hawaiian sun.
Upon our return, Kaiser Hospital re-examined the foot and upgraded the black walking boot to a solid purple cast for a month. It seems the fracture is now upgraded to a special kind of fracture that required a cast, then a period back in the boot and finally back to shoes once again.
Now, personally, I’m not fond of change. As long as something still works, why change? That argument works great for staying with the same partner for 40yrs but doesn’t work so well for not getting new carpet just because it’s outdated. It’s ONLY 35yrs old! Sure it’s rich rust color is more like faded orange now, but it still covered the plywood floors and prevented splinters in my feet, right?
Well, the carpet WAS pulled up in a few places, repaired in a few others with my trusty staple gun and, as we discovered later, a habitat for a few termites near an outer wall in one of the bedrooms.
Claudette wins. We NEED new carpet. But first we need to deal with the termite problem. But before we can deal with the termites, the termite inspector informed us that we needed to get rid of, what he thought was, opossums living under our house.
Just when I thought he was done, he informs us: “While you’re at it you should block the access vents with screening in the attic because birds have been nesting in the insulation up there”. Evidentially, bird waste in the insulation calls for removal and installing new insulation.
So…animals under the house and birds in the attic banned and screened, contaminated insulation replaced, termites killed, new carpet installed, Claudette on two feet again.
All done, right?
Claudette: “You know…the old, crappy baseboard looks pretty shabby against the new carpet and wouldn’t some crown molding in the bedrooms look REALLY nice with new drapes?…”
Merry Christmas and a HAPPY New Year!
…Mark & Claudette
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Google Audio Translator...
I think I could have used this feature a few years ago in a 2nd grade bilingual Spanish class...
Hello! My name is Mr. Homework.
Hello! My name is Mr. Homework.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
You’re On My List…
Substitute teachers are encouraged (if not required) to leave an “end of day” status report to let the teacher know how the little darlings behaved (or not). One of the first things I announce at the beginning of the day is that I do make notes about how the day is going and that…I make a list.
“Kinda like Santa does with his ‘Naughty and Nice’ list and you don’t want to be on my ‘naughty’ list at the end of the day”, I warn.
As it turns out, I discovered that I’m on a few lists also:
“Kinda like Santa does with his ‘Naughty and Nice’ list and you don’t want to be on my ‘naughty’ list at the end of the day”, I warn.
As it turns out, I discovered that I’m on a few lists also:
Friday, December 10, 2010
Who's at Cancun COP 16?
Is climate change more about the science or...politics? You decide.
To read more click here:
http://wattsupwiththat.com/2010/12/08/cop16-attendees-fall-for-the-old-dihydrogen-monoxide-petition-as-well-as-signing-up-to-cripple-the-u-s-economy/
To read more click here:
http://wattsupwiththat.com/2010/12/08/cop16-attendees-fall-for-the-old-dihydrogen-monoxide-petition-as-well-as-signing-up-to-cripple-the-u-s-economy/
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
I Got Mail!
Everyone performs better at an assignment IF they like doing it. Getting kids interested in reading and writing to enjoy doing it is no exception.
I remember one part of the CBEST qualifying exam for my substitute teaching credential was to submit a timed writing sample about my thoughts of “cheating by high school students on exams”. Needless to say my rambling, full page, written response could have been better said in three short sentences: “I’m not for it. Cheating is bad. Don’t do it".
I don’t like writing under deadline pressures or on subjects I know nothing about. I remember an essay in college that I failed miserably because I could not “imagine a day in the life of an Eskimo boy”
With that digression introduction, I was working in a 4th grade classroom when the next item in the lesson plan listed: If they finish early and have extra time they are allowed to read a book or do "PenPals".
“PenPal time” is writing a letter to anyone in class about anything, stuffing it in a large mailing envelope, addressing it and putting it in the outgoing mailbox. This teacher had one of those huge rural route roadside sized mailboxes on a table in the front of the classroom. Periodically, when the “Mailman of the Week” student noticed the red flag up on the mailbox, he could then deliver the mail to the Pen Pal addressee.
Even I got mail:
I assume that spelling, punctuation and grammar will follow as the year progresses. I’m sure Sophia will learn to spell “substitute” before she gets to 6th grade…
I remember one part of the CBEST qualifying exam for my substitute teaching credential was to submit a timed writing sample about my thoughts of “cheating by high school students on exams”. Needless to say my rambling, full page, written response could have been better said in three short sentences: “I’m not for it. Cheating is bad. Don’t do it".
I don’t like writing under deadline pressures or on subjects I know nothing about. I remember an essay in college that I failed miserably because I could not “imagine a day in the life of an Eskimo boy”
With that digression introduction, I was working in a 4th grade classroom when the next item in the lesson plan listed: If they finish early and have extra time they are allowed to read a book or do "PenPals".
“PenPal time” is writing a letter to anyone in class about anything, stuffing it in a large mailing envelope, addressing it and putting it in the outgoing mailbox. This teacher had one of those huge rural route roadside sized mailboxes on a table in the front of the classroom. Periodically, when the “Mailman of the Week” student noticed the red flag up on the mailbox, he could then deliver the mail to the Pen Pal addressee.
Even I got mail:
I assume that spelling, punctuation and grammar will follow as the year progresses. I’m sure Sophia will learn to spell “substitute” before she gets to 6th grade…
Friday, December 03, 2010
A Sub For Santa...
Ever wonder what would happen if Santa ever needed a substitute for the big night? Well it might go something like this:
From: The Blog O'Cheese
The following is an excerpt from a speech by a She-Claus mom to the elves just before she embarks on her Christmas Eve night - delivering toys to the good girls and boys around the world.
"Attention Elves! [Echo: Elves... elves... elves] I SAID, ATTENTION ELVES!
I am NOT going to ask you to be quiet AGAIN! Do you understand?
First things first: Do these flannel pants with white cotton cuffs and added padding in the buttocks make my butt look big?
Nevermind, nevermind. Don't answer that. Now, let's get down to business...."
Click the link-> to read the rest
From: The Blog O'Cheese
The following is an excerpt from a speech by a She-Claus mom to the elves just before she embarks on her Christmas Eve night - delivering toys to the good girls and boys around the world.
"Attention Elves! [Echo: Elves... elves... elves] I SAID, ATTENTION ELVES!
I am NOT going to ask you to be quiet AGAIN! Do you understand?
First things first: Do these flannel pants with white cotton cuffs and added padding in the buttocks make my butt look big?
Nevermind, nevermind. Don't answer that. Now, let's get down to business...."
Click the link-> to read the rest
Monday, November 29, 2010
Stapled Kid…
I was working in a 4th grade classroom and in the middle of a lesson when a tiny Asian boy came up and asked to go to the office.
Me: Can it wait till recess?
Kid: No, I stapled myself.
Now, I’ve had enough experience with almost all kinds of excuses to take a little walk to the office for every known “imagined trauma” known to kid-kind. This sounded like the “I got a paper cut, call the EMTs!!” variety.
I wasn’t going to annoy the office because of a minor “injury” like this. A cursory look showed it wasn’t even bleeding. Though one end of the staple was still sticking in the end of his finger, I was sure that simply pulling it out wouldn’t hurt and he’d be fine.
Me: Why are we playing with the stapler? We are supposed to be reading a story.
Kid: I thought it was broken and tried to fix it. I need to go to the office.
The kid is starting to appear a bit pale as I took a closer look at the injury. He had not only stuck himself in the finger with a staple, he had managed to put the staple completely through and out the other fleshy side of his finger! The boy is quivering and looking a bit green. I think he’s gonna faint on me!
Me: Go! Go now and take a friend with you.
The last thing I wanted was for the kid to faint half way to the office. I called to let them know the situation and that I had sent someone to go with him to make sure he got there.
At recess, I received an update call from the office letting me know that the staple was successfully removed by the school nurse and that the grandparents were coming to take him home. The grandparents wanted also to stop by the classroom to “inspect the stapler”. I could only wonder what answers to questions they might have from examining a common kid sized stapler.
My guess was the grandparents actually wanted to “inspect” the incompetent substitute teacher that would let their grandson become mutilated by negligently operating dangerous industrial office machinery.
So, after inspecting the kid sized finger sticker, the grandparents and the boy had a short discussion in native dialect. The boy didn’t want to go home and convinced his grandparents he could stay the rest or the day.
Tomorrow’s lesson: “Electric outlets and metal paperclips – a no, no!”
Me: Can it wait till recess?
Kid: No, I stapled myself.
Now, I’ve had enough experience with almost all kinds of excuses to take a little walk to the office for every known “imagined trauma” known to kid-kind. This sounded like the “I got a paper cut, call the EMTs!!” variety.
I wasn’t going to annoy the office because of a minor “injury” like this. A cursory look showed it wasn’t even bleeding. Though one end of the staple was still sticking in the end of his finger, I was sure that simply pulling it out wouldn’t hurt and he’d be fine.
Me: Why are we playing with the stapler? We are supposed to be reading a story.
Kid: I thought it was broken and tried to fix it. I need to go to the office.
The kid is starting to appear a bit pale as I took a closer look at the injury. He had not only stuck himself in the finger with a staple, he had managed to put the staple completely through and out the other fleshy side of his finger! The boy is quivering and looking a bit green. I think he’s gonna faint on me!
Me: Go! Go now and take a friend with you.
The last thing I wanted was for the kid to faint half way to the office. I called to let them know the situation and that I had sent someone to go with him to make sure he got there.
At recess, I received an update call from the office letting me know that the staple was successfully removed by the school nurse and that the grandparents were coming to take him home. The grandparents wanted also to stop by the classroom to “inspect the stapler”. I could only wonder what answers to questions they might have from examining a common kid sized stapler.
My guess was the grandparents actually wanted to “inspect” the incompetent substitute teacher that would let their grandson become mutilated by negligently operating dangerous industrial office machinery.
So, after inspecting the kid sized finger sticker, the grandparents and the boy had a short discussion in native dialect. The boy didn’t want to go home and convinced his grandparents he could stay the rest or the day.
Tomorrow’s lesson: “Electric outlets and metal paperclips – a no, no!”
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Happy Thanksgiving 2010!
Here's wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving with lots of good stuff to eat and be thankful for!
We're partaking in the traditional dinner at the grand-kids house in town. For me I'm just thankful that I won't have to repeat the hunt for turkey parts from a few years ago. My job yesterday was simply obtain the last few ingredients for the apple pie that Claudette is preparing as I write this. The only hard thing to locate yesterday was a parking spot at the local Costco.
P.S. I can say without reservation that Claudette makes THE BEST apple pie ever and that's not bragging. It's just a fact.
We're partaking in the traditional dinner at the grand-kids house in town. For me I'm just thankful that I won't have to repeat the hunt for turkey parts from a few years ago. My job yesterday was simply obtain the last few ingredients for the apple pie that Claudette is preparing as I write this. The only hard thing to locate yesterday was a parking spot at the local Costco.
P.S. I can say without reservation that Claudette makes THE BEST apple pie ever and that's not bragging. It's just a fact.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
When Unions Attack...
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie had a face to face discussion with the head of the Bergen County Education Association about a teachers union’s memo that included a "prayer" that suggested it was time for him to die.
Christie's response:
Email excerpt:
“Dear Lord this year you have taken away my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze, my favorite actress, Farrah Fawcett, my favorite singer, Michael Jackson, and my favorite salesman, Billy Mays. I just wanted to let you know that Chris Christie is my favorite governor.”
Tipped from Darren over at http://rightontheleftcoast.blogspot.com/
Christie's response:
Email excerpt:
“Dear Lord this year you have taken away my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze, my favorite actress, Farrah Fawcett, my favorite singer, Michael Jackson, and my favorite salesman, Billy Mays. I just wanted to let you know that Chris Christie is my favorite governor.”
Tipped from Darren over at http://rightontheleftcoast.blogspot.com/
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Colors...
You would think that an average college graduate with a BS degree in math and more than 30yrs of professional computer software programming experience, WITH an unrelated additional six years of experience substitute teaching at all elementary grades from Kinder through sixth grades would be able to handle any 3rd grade worksheet without too much difficulty. Yea, that was my personal misconception up until this week in a 3rd grade classroom.
The science lesson was to complete a worksheet on “The Parts of Plants” which include classifying, identifying parts of plants, what each part does and finally coloring plant pictures with crayons.
Guess which part was my downfall.
“What color is fuchsia?” the boy in a Raiders t-shirt asked. I didn’t have a clue. In fact I thought fuchsia WAS a flower, not a color.
“Uhhh, let me see the worksheet” is my standard stalling tactic when they have me stumped. The sheet pictured four plants and a numbered coded color diagram to indicate what colors to use.
Red, green, blue, peach and even red-orange are pretty straightforward. But there at #11 was “Fuchsia”. I was hoping to get a clue when I see that the plant part for #11 was the flower part and not something easy like the bark of a tree (brown). I sent him off to ask some buddies in class to see what color THEY might decide to use.
Next came two girls lugging a huge plastic bin with what looked like a couple thousand loose crayons asking: “What color crayon is cerulean? We can’t find it in here.” I sent them off as well. The kids eventually DID find the “cerulean” and “fuchsia” crayons in the big box.
I used them to mark a copy of the worksheet (below) to bring home and ask if this was supposed to be common knowledge among the average, intelligent, unbiased adult female that happens to be married to clueless male.
Turns out, it IS!
The science lesson was to complete a worksheet on “The Parts of Plants” which include classifying, identifying parts of plants, what each part does and finally coloring plant pictures with crayons.
Guess which part was my downfall.
“What color is fuchsia?” the boy in a Raiders t-shirt asked. I didn’t have a clue. In fact I thought fuchsia WAS a flower, not a color.
“Uhhh, let me see the worksheet” is my standard stalling tactic when they have me stumped. The sheet pictured four plants and a numbered coded color diagram to indicate what colors to use.
Red, green, blue, peach and even red-orange are pretty straightforward. But there at #11 was “Fuchsia”. I was hoping to get a clue when I see that the plant part for #11 was the flower part and not something easy like the bark of a tree (brown). I sent him off to ask some buddies in class to see what color THEY might decide to use.
Next came two girls lugging a huge plastic bin with what looked like a couple thousand loose crayons asking: “What color crayon is cerulean? We can’t find it in here.” I sent them off as well. The kids eventually DID find the “cerulean” and “fuchsia” crayons in the big box.
I used them to mark a copy of the worksheet (below) to bring home and ask if this was supposed to be common knowledge among the average, intelligent, unbiased adult female that happens to be married to clueless male.
Turns out, it IS!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Books or Movies?
What do kids willingly read in school? The Harry Potter books were the top contender a couple years back before the shift toward vampires and werewolf tales. I don’t know if the movies enticed the kids to read books or whether the books made the movies blockbuster hits with kids.
One other book I have frequently seen in the classroom since I started substitute teaching six years ago is titled “Flipped”. It’s a story about a young boy who moves into a new neighborhood and meets a local girl. The book alternates between parallel story lines of the two main characters as they get to know each other in a he-said she-said style.
Will the book make a good movie? Check it out…
One other book I have frequently seen in the classroom since I started substitute teaching six years ago is titled “Flipped”. It’s a story about a young boy who moves into a new neighborhood and meets a local girl. The book alternates between parallel story lines of the two main characters as they get to know each other in a he-said she-said style.
Will the book make a good movie? Check it out…
Monday, November 15, 2010
Bag of Tricks…
That’s what a lot of substitute teachers call it. What is it? It’s the sum total of everything a substitute teacher thinks he/she might need to teach an unplanned lesson for the day. It manifests itself in various forms. I’ve seen the “Bag of Tricks” in the form of backpacks, canvas tote bags, duffle bags, briefcases, small suitcases and even a small rolling filing system.
My bag of tricks is more a survival backpack. It’s actually a “manly” diaper bag that my daughter let me have at her garage sale last year. This is my third after two previous bags wore out.
My bag contains a three ring binder, clipboard, pens, pencils, markers, notepad paper, day timer, calculator, condensed dictionary, some educational nature videos, basic first aid supplies, sunglasses, baseball cap and a whistle.
The binder contains blank report forms, maps of all the schools in the district, lists of completed and future assignments, and the current year substitute handbook and any other paperwork worth carrying around.
Except for the 2-3 nature videos I carry, I do not carry emergency substitute lesson plans, assignments, prize bribes, candy or fun busywork activities as some other subs do. If I did, I would have to drag a filing cabinet around to be that prepared. If I have to improvise an assignment, I try to make do with what I find in the classroom.
There is nothing of value in my bag. No phone, no iPad, or expensive electronics of any kind. No wallet, no keys or anything that would be of any value. At least that’s what I thought up until the day my bag went missing.
It was one of those “roving substitute” assignment days where I have 20-40 minute assignments in five or six different classes. After visiting the first four classes, I knocked on the door my next assignment. There was no one in the unlocked classroom. Since the classroom was unlocked and empty, the teacher and the kids must be at recess or getting books in the library.
I didn’t want to lug my bag all over campus looking for my lost class, so I set my backpack on the teachers chair in the back of the room and decided to first try the library located one building over.
The library was where I found the class. The teacher handed over the class and went to her meeting. My “assignment” for her was to finish library checkout and take the class back to the classroom for a math lesson on fractions. Upon the teacher’s return after the meeting and I went to get my backpack to leave.
My blue backpack wasn’t where I left it.
I then realized I hadn’t recalled seeing it since I returned from the library. I searched the entire room until the office called to tell me I was late for the next teacher conference. I told them I was missing a backpack.
Between my final two assignments, the principal asked for a description of my backpack and if it contained anything of value. A veteran in situations like this, he said he would have the janitor check the trash cans, roof areas of the school and ask the teachers to be on the lookout for it. Ten minutes before the final bell, there the office broadcast a “check your room for a missing blue backpack” announcement.
I left the office depressed and disappointed walking out to the parking lot sans backpack. I was wondering how much effort it was going to take to replace my “stuff of no value” when the school secretary called me back to the office. A teacher called to say that she found a black backpack in her room after all the kids had left. She was bringing it to the office to see if it was mine. It’s the wrong color but I waited until she arrived…with MY backpack!
She said she returned from her recess break and found the backpack in her desk chair. She thought one of the students left it there and moved it to the pile of student packs near the coat lockers. When the class let out, it was the only one left. I searched the bag and found nothing missing. It turns out that her unlocked classroom is next door to the one I substituted for today.
I realized then that I must have walked into the “wrong" classroom this afternoon, left my bag, went to the library and returned with the kids to the “right” classroom. I also realized that I didn’t know what color the backpack I’ve been carrying around for more than a year actually is. It’s the interior vinyl lining of my bag that’s “baby blue”.
I left that day feeling relived and a bit stupid at the same time. I also realized that I do care about my “worthless stuff” more than I thought I did.
My bag of tricks is more a survival backpack. It’s actually a “manly” diaper bag that my daughter let me have at her garage sale last year. This is my third after two previous bags wore out.
My bag contains a three ring binder, clipboard, pens, pencils, markers, notepad paper, day timer, calculator, condensed dictionary, some educational nature videos, basic first aid supplies, sunglasses, baseball cap and a whistle.
The binder contains blank report forms, maps of all the schools in the district, lists of completed and future assignments, and the current year substitute handbook and any other paperwork worth carrying around.
Except for the 2-3 nature videos I carry, I do not carry emergency substitute lesson plans, assignments, prize bribes, candy or fun busywork activities as some other subs do. If I did, I would have to drag a filing cabinet around to be that prepared. If I have to improvise an assignment, I try to make do with what I find in the classroom.
There is nothing of value in my bag. No phone, no iPad, or expensive electronics of any kind. No wallet, no keys or anything that would be of any value. At least that’s what I thought up until the day my bag went missing.
It was one of those “roving substitute” assignment days where I have 20-40 minute assignments in five or six different classes. After visiting the first four classes, I knocked on the door my next assignment. There was no one in the unlocked classroom. Since the classroom was unlocked and empty, the teacher and the kids must be at recess or getting books in the library.
I didn’t want to lug my bag all over campus looking for my lost class, so I set my backpack on the teachers chair in the back of the room and decided to first try the library located one building over.
The library was where I found the class. The teacher handed over the class and went to her meeting. My “assignment” for her was to finish library checkout and take the class back to the classroom for a math lesson on fractions. Upon the teacher’s return after the meeting and I went to get my backpack to leave.
My blue backpack wasn’t where I left it.
I then realized I hadn’t recalled seeing it since I returned from the library. I searched the entire room until the office called to tell me I was late for the next teacher conference. I told them I was missing a backpack.
Between my final two assignments, the principal asked for a description of my backpack and if it contained anything of value. A veteran in situations like this, he said he would have the janitor check the trash cans, roof areas of the school and ask the teachers to be on the lookout for it. Ten minutes before the final bell, there the office broadcast a “check your room for a missing blue backpack” announcement.
I left the office depressed and disappointed walking out to the parking lot sans backpack. I was wondering how much effort it was going to take to replace my “stuff of no value” when the school secretary called me back to the office. A teacher called to say that she found a black backpack in her room after all the kids had left. She was bringing it to the office to see if it was mine. It’s the wrong color but I waited until she arrived…with MY backpack!
She said she returned from her recess break and found the backpack in her desk chair. She thought one of the students left it there and moved it to the pile of student packs near the coat lockers. When the class let out, it was the only one left. I searched the bag and found nothing missing. It turns out that her unlocked classroom is next door to the one I substituted for today.
I realized then that I must have walked into the “wrong" classroom this afternoon, left my bag, went to the library and returned with the kids to the “right” classroom. I also realized that I didn’t know what color the backpack I’ve been carrying around for more than a year actually is. It’s the interior vinyl lining of my bag that’s “baby blue”.
I left that day feeling relived and a bit stupid at the same time. I also realized that I do care about my “worthless stuff” more than I thought I did.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
ILLEGAL LIBERALS SNEAKING INTO CANADA
The Manitoba Herald , Canada
Reported by Clive Runnels
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota . The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn't give any milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons and drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves." A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though." When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.
In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age." an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them." an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"
In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada , Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close to President Obama said, "We're going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul and Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined to reach out." he said. The Herald will be interested to see if Obama can actually raise Mary from the dead in time for the concert.
(Disclaimer: This came via email and is circulating on the net in various forms. A search for "The Manitoba Herald" reveals that it was published daily from January 11, 1877 until August 2, 1877. If "Clive" actually is a reporter for that newspaper, he probably won't mind at this point that I share it with you...)
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Party Moms
The substitute’s rule of wisdom states that the day before a major holiday or the start of summer vacation is generally an assignment to be avoided if you can’t handle amped up kids. The two most likely problematic assignments are the Fridays before Christmas and Halloween night. The job is then less about the 3R’s and more about crowd control for the day.
So this Friday before Halloween, the teacher’s note on the system said that they would be having an in-class party and a school costume parade about an hour before dismissal. The teacher’s note also suggested that I could come in costume if I wanted to join in. Since I hadn’t worked this week and the assignment was for only the last half of the day, I went in. My only concession to a costume was wearing my SF Giants baseball cap.
The 5th grade class was in full party mode when I arrived to meet with the teacher I would be working for. The teacher said there was no lesson plan since I wouldn’t be teaching anything. I was not surprised. My job today, as explained by the teacher, was to be the properly credentialed teacher required to supervise as legally required. The class “party moms” would handle everything.
One the reasons I took this assignment was that this school has a high parent participation rate and this class proved to be no exception. Six “party moms” were directing Halloween crafts involving Graham crackers, chocolate, and candy corn art. They handled the pizza party lunch and games. All were dressed in costume and in full control. There was really nothing for me to do but “monitor” all day.
When some of the kids asked where my costume was, I put on my Giants cap and told them I was the superhero who radiated an invisible force field in front of me that deflects all thrown objects. I’m called WALKMAN!
Fortunately most of these kids HAD watched last night’s MLB World Series game against the Rangers and “got” the joke.
So this Friday before Halloween, the teacher’s note on the system said that they would be having an in-class party and a school costume parade about an hour before dismissal. The teacher’s note also suggested that I could come in costume if I wanted to join in. Since I hadn’t worked this week and the assignment was for only the last half of the day, I went in. My only concession to a costume was wearing my SF Giants baseball cap.
The 5th grade class was in full party mode when I arrived to meet with the teacher I would be working for. The teacher said there was no lesson plan since I wouldn’t be teaching anything. I was not surprised. My job today, as explained by the teacher, was to be the properly credentialed teacher required to supervise as legally required. The class “party moms” would handle everything.
One the reasons I took this assignment was that this school has a high parent participation rate and this class proved to be no exception. Six “party moms” were directing Halloween crafts involving Graham crackers, chocolate, and candy corn art. They handled the pizza party lunch and games. All were dressed in costume and in full control. There was really nothing for me to do but “monitor” all day.
When some of the kids asked where my costume was, I put on my Giants cap and told them I was the superhero who radiated an invisible force field in front of me that deflects all thrown objects. I’m called WALKMAN!
Fortunately most of these kids HAD watched last night’s MLB World Series game against the Rangers and “got” the joke.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Exposure Notice!
Possible exposure to almost every kind of communicable malady is sure to appear when dealing with hundreds of kids at dozens of schools. Exposure to everything from head lice, hand, foot and mouth disease, ringworm, and common flu viruses are common but each year something new seems to appear. This year it’s scabies!
It’s almost impossible to be prepared for what comes next, but I'm going to try!
Happy Halloween!
It’s almost impossible to be prepared for what comes next, but I'm going to try!
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| From Blogger Pictures |
Saturday, October 16, 2010
I Said – No!
Automated calling systems for substitute teachers are supposed to benefit both parties. The school doesn’t have to rely on an actual person to make dozens of phone calls each day in the attempt to fill positions. The automated computers will tirelessly dial until every assignment is booked.
Substitute teachers, on the other hand, aren’t expected to do much. Some subs only respond when called while others continuously query online or by phone looking for available jobs.
The ONLY thing that the district requires of a substitute teacher is to notify the system for any “period of unavailability”. This requirement supposedly saves time by not offering positions to someone who has already stated is not taking assignments for the day, a partial week or more. It’s a sensible requirement.
Why then, after I’ve listed an advanced three day absence, does the system STILL call offering jobs late into the night (two within 5min of each other) and, more irritatingly, at 05:35am the following morning?
Does the system not understand: “No! I’m not available”? I now have to assume that entering an unavailable date is just a “suggestion” to the system in that I might have changed my mind at the last minute without telling them.
After the first early wake up call, I turned the ringer off for the next two days.
Substitute teachers, on the other hand, aren’t expected to do much. Some subs only respond when called while others continuously query online or by phone looking for available jobs.
The ONLY thing that the district requires of a substitute teacher is to notify the system for any “period of unavailability”. This requirement supposedly saves time by not offering positions to someone who has already stated is not taking assignments for the day, a partial week or more. It’s a sensible requirement.
Why then, after I’ve listed an advanced three day absence, does the system STILL call offering jobs late into the night (two within 5min of each other) and, more irritatingly, at 05:35am the following morning?
Does the system not understand: “No! I’m not available”? I now have to assume that entering an unavailable date is just a “suggestion” to the system in that I might have changed my mind at the last minute without telling them.
After the first early wake up call, I turned the ringer off for the next two days.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Sounds Like an Old Song
I was in class Monday and Tuesday, but I am taking off the rest of the week. Why?
Well, we need new carpet in the house but...
Before we get carpet, we need to fix the termite problem but...
Before the termite guys will work, we need to fix the possum problem under the house...
This is starting to sound something like the little old lady who swallowed a fly!
Well, we need new carpet in the house but...
Before we get carpet, we need to fix the termite problem but...
Before the termite guys will work, we need to fix the possum problem under the house...
This is starting to sound something like the little old lady who swallowed a fly!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Doof Move…
Went and picked up my class of 4th graders this morning. Half way back to the room, a teacher runs up behind asking:
T: Who are you subbing for today?
Me: Ms B in room D15?
T: Ms B is room D14. That’s my class you have there.
Your class is still out on the blacktop waiting for you…
Not an auspicious start to my day…
T: Who are you subbing for today?
Me: Ms B in room D15?
T: Ms B is room D14. That’s my class you have there.
Your class is still out on the blacktop waiting for you…
Not an auspicious start to my day…
Saturday, October 09, 2010
Rovingest Sub…
The “roving sub” assignment is just school jargon for “scheduled wandering” from class to class to cover the time period necessary for teachers to conduct meetings or functions that can’t be handled outside of school.
Roving is usually a rare assignment, as I’ve previously experienced only one or two of these per year. This year seems to be an exception. I’ve had nine roving assignments in September and October so far. My record for the most classes covered in one day is eighteen!
Roving sub duty is usually easy. There is no preparation required. The first “assignment” usually starts a half hour after school begins and frequently ends before the final bell.
The teacher usually has you supervise work already in progress, do a short lesson like a spelling test or the favorite default, silent reading until her return. There is a lot of walking involved and if you take a “roving sub” assignment, be sure to get a map of the school so you don’t waste time getting lost.
Question: Is “roving-est” even a word?
Roving is usually a rare assignment, as I’ve previously experienced only one or two of these per year. This year seems to be an exception. I’ve had nine roving assignments in September and October so far. My record for the most classes covered in one day is eighteen!
Roving sub duty is usually easy. There is no preparation required. The first “assignment” usually starts a half hour after school begins and frequently ends before the final bell.
The teacher usually has you supervise work already in progress, do a short lesson like a spelling test or the favorite default, silent reading until her return. There is a lot of walking involved and if you take a “roving sub” assignment, be sure to get a map of the school so you don’t waste time getting lost.
Question: Is “roving-est” even a word?
Monday, September 27, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Is Your Mother Smarter Than a Sixth Grader?
The job was a half-day 6th grade class in the afternoon. The Social Studies homework assignment was to locate a recent local, state or world news story and summarize it for the rest of the class. The result was less summarization and more copying verbatim the actual news article to read.
I’m sure that once the teacher saw the handed in work, the definition of “summarization” would be a follow-up lesson on Monday morning. A few actually read and summarized the news story as instructed, demonstrating the skills needed to extract and comprehend written information.
Then we came around to Henry (not his real name). When I called on him for his turn to “stand and deliver”, he began fumbling around his backpack for the homework assignment.
You’d think that he would have been ready since we had over half the class do theirs before we got around to him. After what seemed like several minutes rummaging, I asked if he had done the homework, while getting ready to mark his assignment missing.
Henry: Yea, yea! My Mom picked it out. I just can’t find it.
Me: Well then, just tell me briefly what it was about.
Henry: Ummmmm…
Me: Did you write a summary?
Henry: Uhhh…yea!
Me: …but you don’t know what it’s about?
Henry: I forgot.
Henry finally locates his homework about the hoax bomb threat to the Eiffel Tower last week. He reads the news story verbatim and turns it in. The story is a Yahoo News page print from the website and the attached news summary is an excellent computer printed summarization of the events from Paris, France.
Me: Did your Mom write this summary?
Henry: (short pause) No?
Me: Hmmm…Henry? The article is about the Eiffel Tower, right?...Where IS the Eiffel Tower?
Henry: (longer pause)…New Zealand?
(Collective murmurs from the class): OMG! Henry…Paris!
Henry: No, no…Paris!
Me: And where is Paris? What country?
Henry: Texas!!
(Collective groan from the class)
Me: …Okayyyy!
Note to the teacher: Henry’s Mom does excellent summarization work!
I’m sure that once the teacher saw the handed in work, the definition of “summarization” would be a follow-up lesson on Monday morning. A few actually read and summarized the news story as instructed, demonstrating the skills needed to extract and comprehend written information.
Then we came around to Henry (not his real name). When I called on him for his turn to “stand and deliver”, he began fumbling around his backpack for the homework assignment.
You’d think that he would have been ready since we had over half the class do theirs before we got around to him. After what seemed like several minutes rummaging, I asked if he had done the homework, while getting ready to mark his assignment missing.
Henry: Yea, yea! My Mom picked it out. I just can’t find it.
Me: Well then, just tell me briefly what it was about.
Henry: Ummmmm…
Me: Did you write a summary?
Henry: Uhhh…yea!
Me: …but you don’t know what it’s about?
Henry: I forgot.
Henry finally locates his homework about the hoax bomb threat to the Eiffel Tower last week. He reads the news story verbatim and turns it in. The story is a Yahoo News page print from the website and the attached news summary is an excellent computer printed summarization of the events from Paris, France.
Me: Did your Mom write this summary?
Henry: (short pause) No?
Me: Hmmm…Henry? The article is about the Eiffel Tower, right?...Where IS the Eiffel Tower?
Henry: (longer pause)…New Zealand?
(Collective murmurs from the class): OMG! Henry…Paris!
Henry: No, no…Paris!
Me: And where is Paris? What country?
Henry: Texas!!
(Collective groan from the class)
Me: …Okayyyy!
Note to the teacher: Henry’s Mom does excellent summarization work!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Limited Access Update…
The first month of the school year (mid-Aug to mid-Sept) is in and despite my reservations about lack of work this year, it hasn’t happened.
Of the 22 possible school days, I’ve been in class 14. That’s a bit above average for this time of the year. Since teachers can’t request favored substitute teachers anymore, ALL assignments are posted to the random substitute assignment pool. That may be a factor in the apparent increase of available assignments. I don’t really know if that’s the case but it seems that the phone is busier than normal for this time of year.
One month after the fact, the district finally sent out a “SmartFindExpress” reference card to tell us how the system works. Next week the district is holding a workshop to tell us how to use it. The workshop is a bit pointless at this stage since everyone has been using it for a month but they promised cookies and soda. Anyone who personally knows me knows I’ll be there.
The reference card they sent DID have some useful information. For instance, those of us who are “limited access” don’t need to hang around the phone before 05:00pm or after 10:00pm. Those are the only hours the system does assignment calling. We don’t have to hang around on Saturdays either. The system only calls for “future dates” Sunday through Thursday night.
The “day of” calls start at 05:30am and continue until taken or cancelled by the school. I have missed a few of those because I wasn’t home to take the call. If I had been permitted to access the website for current day assignments before I left for Costco at 10:00am this morning, I might have taken the assignment that was left on my answering machine at 10:15am. I wonder how the district will handle the flood of last minute assignments as they go unfilled during flu season.
That might be a good question to ask at the workshop next week!
Of the 22 possible school days, I’ve been in class 14. That’s a bit above average for this time of the year. Since teachers can’t request favored substitute teachers anymore, ALL assignments are posted to the random substitute assignment pool. That may be a factor in the apparent increase of available assignments. I don’t really know if that’s the case but it seems that the phone is busier than normal for this time of year.
One month after the fact, the district finally sent out a “SmartFindExpress” reference card to tell us how the system works. Next week the district is holding a workshop to tell us how to use it. The workshop is a bit pointless at this stage since everyone has been using it for a month but they promised cookies and soda. Anyone who personally knows me knows I’ll be there.
The reference card they sent DID have some useful information. For instance, those of us who are “limited access” don’t need to hang around the phone before 05:00pm or after 10:00pm. Those are the only hours the system does assignment calling. We don’t have to hang around on Saturdays either. The system only calls for “future dates” Sunday through Thursday night.
The “day of” calls start at 05:30am and continue until taken or cancelled by the school. I have missed a few of those because I wasn’t home to take the call. If I had been permitted to access the website for current day assignments before I left for Costco at 10:00am this morning, I might have taken the assignment that was left on my answering machine at 10:15am. I wonder how the district will handle the flood of last minute assignments as they go unfilled during flu season.
That might be a good question to ask at the workshop next week!
Monday, September 13, 2010
In My Own Backyard…
Every parent has observed their kids go through developing “awareness stages”. I think the earliest stages from the “self absorbed, right now” to a dawning awareness of a past, present and future existence is sometimes one of the most interesting to witness.
One such moment occurred on Labor Day this month. The family was over for backyard BBQ and swimming at our house. The grandkids are always excited for the chance to go swimming when they come over. Of our four grandkids, Paige a 1st grader was excitedly bouncing up and down waiting for Dad to get changed into swim shorts to go swimming.
It was then that she had one of those “awareness” moments…
Paige: Papa? Why do you have a pool in the backyard?
GrandPa: Lots of people have pools in the backyard. (I later checked Google satellite maps to verify that about 20% of the homes in our California neighborhood have backyard pools)
Paige: Why don’t we have one in our backyard!
GrandPa: But, you used to have a pool in your backyard, Paige
Stunned silence… A quick glance at Dad confirmed that Papa isn’t just kidding around like he sometimes does. I could almost hear the thought processes in the transparent facial expressions as my granddaughter digested this earth shattering bit of newly revealed information:
(…“WHAT!!?? Mommy and Daddy had a real swimming pool in our yard! You mean we could be going swimming every day we wanted just by walking out the back door instead of only once in a while when mommy has to get my brother and me ready to drive to the cabana club to swim? Where did it go?)
Paige: “We did?” looking suspiciously at Dad standing nearby.
I could see her visualizing the backyard swing set, sandbox and the lush green lawn where her puppy likes to run and “do his business”.
Paige: “Where is it now?”
Dad explained that before she was born, they decided that the pool wasn’t safe for little babies and puppies to fall into so they had it taken out.
This led into more questions about “how” it was removed (they buried it). “What did it look like” (deep end is under the swing set and steps are under one end of the lawn). If I dig under the swing, will I fall into the water?” (No, they dug holes in bottom to let the water out and filled it with dirt). The questions continued until everyone else was ready to go out and swim.
I look forward to more “light bulb” moments from all four of my grandkids. While I wish it could last a bit longer before the “surly teen years” to enjoy, I know it will pass far too quickly.
Now I wonder when (or most likely “IF”) I should reveal to my youngest grandson (currently 18 months) the story of his father jumping off a bridge with bungee cords wrapped around his feet without telling us.
One such moment occurred on Labor Day this month. The family was over for backyard BBQ and swimming at our house. The grandkids are always excited for the chance to go swimming when they come over. Of our four grandkids, Paige a 1st grader was excitedly bouncing up and down waiting for Dad to get changed into swim shorts to go swimming.
It was then that she had one of those “awareness” moments…
Paige: Papa? Why do you have a pool in the backyard?
GrandPa: Lots of people have pools in the backyard. (I later checked Google satellite maps to verify that about 20% of the homes in our California neighborhood have backyard pools)
Paige: Why don’t we have one in our backyard!
GrandPa: But, you used to have a pool in your backyard, Paige
Stunned silence… A quick glance at Dad confirmed that Papa isn’t just kidding around like he sometimes does. I could almost hear the thought processes in the transparent facial expressions as my granddaughter digested this earth shattering bit of newly revealed information:
(…“WHAT!!?? Mommy and Daddy had a real swimming pool in our yard! You mean we could be going swimming every day we wanted just by walking out the back door instead of only once in a while when mommy has to get my brother and me ready to drive to the cabana club to swim? Where did it go?)
Paige: “We did?” looking suspiciously at Dad standing nearby.
I could see her visualizing the backyard swing set, sandbox and the lush green lawn where her puppy likes to run and “do his business”.
Paige: “Where is it now?”
Dad explained that before she was born, they decided that the pool wasn’t safe for little babies and puppies to fall into so they had it taken out.
This led into more questions about “how” it was removed (they buried it). “What did it look like” (deep end is under the swing set and steps are under one end of the lawn). If I dig under the swing, will I fall into the water?” (No, they dug holes in bottom to let the water out and filled it with dirt). The questions continued until everyone else was ready to go out and swim.
I look forward to more “light bulb” moments from all four of my grandkids. While I wish it could last a bit longer before the “surly teen years” to enjoy, I know it will pass far too quickly.
Now I wonder when (or most likely “IF”) I should reveal to my youngest grandson (currently 18 months) the story of his father jumping off a bridge with bungee cords wrapped around his feet without telling us.
Friday, September 03, 2010
Special Education Class…
I’ll admit it. When assignments for SED (Special Education Class) or SDC (Special Day Class) are offered, I tend to check what else might be available. My trepidation is that I’m never sure what I’m supposed to do or what to expect mentally or physically from the kids in the class.
Given the realities of this potentially lean year in subbing, I arrived at school last Thursday morning ready to survive the day. The teacher left a detailed lesson plan that involved several folders with assignments for each student. All the assignments were tailored for the abilities of each student.
She had left me a quick summary of the twelve, 8 to 10yr old kids I would shortly meet. In addition, there were two aides assigned to help with any issues that might come up. That was a big relief and they reassured me that this was an easy going group and should I experience any problems, they were there to take care of it for me.
If you are waiting for the horror story of the day, I’m happy to disappoint. The kids were curious, friendly and much better behaved than the three “normal” 1st grade assignments I had earlier that week. The few potential incidences that did come up were quickly and quietly handled by the classroom aides.
Will I sub “SpecialEd” in the future? Sure, why not!
Given the realities of this potentially lean year in subbing, I arrived at school last Thursday morning ready to survive the day. The teacher left a detailed lesson plan that involved several folders with assignments for each student. All the assignments were tailored for the abilities of each student.
She had left me a quick summary of the twelve, 8 to 10yr old kids I would shortly meet. In addition, there were two aides assigned to help with any issues that might come up. That was a big relief and they reassured me that this was an easy going group and should I experience any problems, they were there to take care of it for me.
If you are waiting for the horror story of the day, I’m happy to disappoint. The kids were curious, friendly and much better behaved than the three “normal” 1st grade assignments I had earlier that week. The few potential incidences that did come up were quickly and quietly handled by the classroom aides.
Will I sub “SpecialEd” in the future? Sure, why not!
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You…
Well, it is two weeks into the new school year and I’m surprised to report that I AM getting calls to work. Even though I still can’t call in to the substitute system for any assignments, I have been getting called almost every day from the system for work.
I have heard through the grapevine that most of the RIF’ed teachers have been rehired into other schools or different positions so the competition pool is lessening. Assignments are more than trickling down to the “on call only” substitutes. At this point, I believe that I’m working more at this time of the year than previous years.
I still don’t like the fact that I can’t call in to plan my week more than a day or two in advance, but maybe that restriction will disappear as the year progresses.
I have heard through the grapevine that most of the RIF’ed teachers have been rehired into other schools or different positions so the competition pool is lessening. Assignments are more than trickling down to the “on call only” substitutes. At this point, I believe that I’m working more at this time of the year than previous years.
I still don’t like the fact that I can’t call in to plan my week more than a day or two in advance, but maybe that restriction will disappear as the year progresses.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Reasonable Assurance…
In an effort to make obvious my displeasure with current school district procedures, I composed the following letter of complaint yesterday:
(The names have been altered or omitted to preserve anonymity)
I didn’t immediately send it. I thought I’d wait a day then re-read it to see if I wanted to make any last minute changes after I had time to contemplate the matter further.
Last night I got class assignment requests for Wednesday and Thursday and a 5:30am call this morning to work today. It seems things have changed since last week.
What a waste of a good temper tantrum….
(The names have been altered or omitted to preserve anonymity)
-------------------
Dear Mr. Superintendent and/or Mr. HR Director
My name is Mr. Homework and I’ve been employed as a “Certificated Substitute Teacher” working in Your School District these last six years.
Each year, following school closure for the summer, the school district has sent me the usual letter of “Notification of Reasonable Assurance” letting me know that I have “reasonable assurance of returning to work” in the same capacity next year as an “Emergency 30-Day Substitute Teacher”.
When I contacted the district office at the close of the previous school year, I asked if there were any changes I should know about for the coming year. I was told everything was the same. As a result I sent in my yearly renewal for the district required state credential document.
The reason for this communication is to express my dismay and disappointment in the unfair discrimination in access to this year’s substituting assignments list.
I did know that numerous teachers had been let go at the end of the previous year and many (all?) had been added to the available substitute rolls. I have no complaint.
I assumed that they would be listed as higher priority in the callout list for new assignments. I have no complaint.
What I DO have an issue with is being entirely locked out of the automated assignment system without being told. (…I had to call the office to find out why the system “wasn’t working” when I logged in.)
Yet…even that might have been acceptable if the teachers I had worked for previously still had the ability to ask for me by name. I had to hear 2nd hand that pre-arranged assignments are longer allowed.
This is a big change from previous years and should have been disclosed long before the first day of the new school year. The letter of “reasonable assurance” should have been a “maybe but not likely” letter.
For an organization that purports to teach the values of equality, non-discrimination and fairness, I find that actions speak louder than words and the absence of words (not being told before hand) speaks even louder.
Knowing what I do now, I probably would have not renewed my credential this year. But since I have, I believe a $57 fee reimbursement from the district would not be unreasonable.
Failing that, how about letting each of us 2nd tier substitutes have immediate access to the assignment system to work at least one subbing assignment so we can recoup the cost of our credential renewal before locking us out for the rest of the year. I don’t think that would be an unreasonable corrective course of action.
I would appreciate a timely reply to this correspondence.
Sincerely disappointed,
---Mr. Homework
-------------------I didn’t immediately send it. I thought I’d wait a day then re-read it to see if I wanted to make any last minute changes after I had time to contemplate the matter further.
Last night I got class assignment requests for Wednesday and Thursday and a 5:30am call this morning to work today. It seems things have changed since last week.
What a waste of a good temper tantrum….
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I’m Sure You Understand…
This is the first day of the new school year. A lot of changes occurred over the summer since the close of the previous school year. The district replaced the old “SubFinder” substitute assignment system with the "SmartFindExpress" system.
The old “SubFinder” was telephone access only. I could call the system for an available assignment any time of the day or night. Alternatively, the system would call with an automated request if an assignment was available.
If I declined the assignment, the system went to the next name on the list until it found a “taker”. If there were no takers, it simply looped back around to the top of the list and tried again. The list, presumably, was ordered from high to low by some desirability or seniority scale, and would keep calling even AFTER the start of the school day, attempting to fill the position until canceled by the school. The system, though a bit outdated, worked fine.
Over the summer, the district installed the new “SmartFindExpress” system and encouraged us to check it out and get familiar using it. It has both phone and web access to display, presumably, all upcoming assignments for the week, month. The phone access operates, presumably, the same way its predecessor did.
I say “presumably” because the “list of available assignments” feature disappeared from both the phone and web access menus a few days before the start of school.
I called the district office to inquire when the substitute assignment system would start showing available assignments. The substitute coordinator informed me that the system up and running and showed no problems. When I asked about the unavailability of assignments list menu, the answer was disappointing.
Due to budget cuts, the district layoff of several teachers over the summer placed them on the substitute teacher rolls, which was ok with me. I assumed that they would be placed on the top of the list of all available substitute teachers to call.
What I didn’t expect was there are now TWO lists: the fired teachers (FT) list and the list for the rest of us. Only the FT’s have access to all available substitute assignments. The rest of us won’t be called until all available FT’s have had a chance to accept ot decline the assignment up to and until the morning of the assignment. That’s presumably when they’ll activate the second tier list to service the late morning “leftovers”.
“It’s only fair. I’m sure you understand…” was the last comment from the “Substitute Coordinator” at the district office before I hung up on her.
What I understand is that I’ll probably be working a lot fewer days this year. I’ll have to wait and see if renewing my yearly state credential was worth the cost.
Too soon to tell…
The old “SubFinder” was telephone access only. I could call the system for an available assignment any time of the day or night. Alternatively, the system would call with an automated request if an assignment was available.
If I declined the assignment, the system went to the next name on the list until it found a “taker”. If there were no takers, it simply looped back around to the top of the list and tried again. The list, presumably, was ordered from high to low by some desirability or seniority scale, and would keep calling even AFTER the start of the school day, attempting to fill the position until canceled by the school. The system, though a bit outdated, worked fine.
Over the summer, the district installed the new “SmartFindExpress” system and encouraged us to check it out and get familiar using it. It has both phone and web access to display, presumably, all upcoming assignments for the week, month. The phone access operates, presumably, the same way its predecessor did.
I say “presumably” because the “list of available assignments” feature disappeared from both the phone and web access menus a few days before the start of school.
I called the district office to inquire when the substitute assignment system would start showing available assignments. The substitute coordinator informed me that the system up and running and showed no problems. When I asked about the unavailability of assignments list menu, the answer was disappointing.
Due to budget cuts, the district layoff of several teachers over the summer placed them on the substitute teacher rolls, which was ok with me. I assumed that they would be placed on the top of the list of all available substitute teachers to call.
What I didn’t expect was there are now TWO lists: the fired teachers (FT) list and the list for the rest of us. Only the FT’s have access to all available substitute assignments. The rest of us won’t be called until all available FT’s have had a chance to accept ot decline the assignment up to and until the morning of the assignment. That’s presumably when they’ll activate the second tier list to service the late morning “leftovers”.
“It’s only fair. I’m sure you understand…” was the last comment from the “Substitute Coordinator” at the district office before I hung up on her.
What I understand is that I’ll probably be working a lot fewer days this year. I’ll have to wait and see if renewing my yearly state credential was worth the cost.
Too soon to tell…
Monday, August 16, 2010
Daily Show - The Race Card
...don't leave home without it.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Race Card Is Maxed Out | ||||
| ||||
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Fungus Among Us…
Have you heard those radio ads for getting rid of toenail fungus with laser treatments? I have and the prospects of a painless solution to a problem I’ve had for the last few years sounded great.
The fungus of the big toe hasn’t responded to liberal applications of Lamisil, Lotrimin or numerous acidic lotions that promise to restore my extremity digit to healthful looking status. I’ll spare you any photographic grossness of the ugly toe, so just take my word for it. It’s bad.
The only drawback is the wallet draining cost. One thousand bucks ($100/per toe) is no small bet. That’s approximately a one month paycheck of substitute teaching gamble on this working.
Anyway, the other morning there was this ad on the radio about laser treatment of toenail fungus for only $500 for ALL TEN TOES ($50/toe) from an outfit called “ShinyToes” here in town. I called for an appointment.
The GPS unit guided me to the address of the medical clinic, as it announced “Arriving on right”!
I’m looking for a medical clinic like looking building but all I see is a block of old Victorian homes in this neighborhood. I circled the block, while “Mindy” (our GPS) made recalculating announcements until I parked at her indicated address destination.
The address was a Bed & Breakfast Inn according to the sign on the building.
I climbed the steps and rang the bell. I told the guy who answered the door that I might have the wrong address but I was looking for ShinyToes? The doc verified that I was at the right address, this was the wellness clinic and that they just hadn’t gotten around to changing the sign on the door yet.
My BS intuition meter ratchets up to “1” but…
The guy explains that he, Mr. “S”, is the director of this particular “wellness clinic” as attested to by the framed degree in on his desk issued by the Harvard Medical School of Boston Mass. It indicates a successful completion of 1.0 unit in some field (I forget the actual wording as I was focused on the “1.0 units”) of “Wellness Training”
BS meter ratchets up to “2” but…
After explaining what the treatment is, the cost and answers my questions about how many patients he’s successfully treated, I hand over my HSA card for a $500 charge. We move to the treatment room, which I later found out was the dining room of the mansion, where the initial exam is to take place.
It’s there that I meet the laser technician, Ms “P” that is to do the actual “lasering”.
“This will have to be a gloveless session as we don’t have any more gloves”, Mr. “S” explains to Ms “P”. “I need to go out for more gloves”, Mr. "P" states as he exits the room.
BS meter skips “3” and goes right to “4” but…
Ms. P activates the laser unit and starts working on toes left to right. Working carefully using only the laser pen tip to touch the toenails, she instructs me in the common sense precautions about common showers at the gym and tub showers at home.
Nuke the floor with Clorox before use when possible and wear flip-flops when not.
As she progresses from toe to toe, I don’t feel anything. No heat, no burning sensation, no smoke or sizzling. If fact I can’t even see the laser light on the toenail!
BS meter at “5” but…
I mention that fact to Ms. P and she demonstrates that there actually is red light coming from the end of the pen by shining it on my pant leg. It’s appears to be of less intensity than the laser pointer we have at home to drive the cats nuts chasing around the house.
BS meter at “6”….
They said I should see improvement in about four months when the nail has had time to grow out (or fall off) enough to tell any difference, but I’m doubtful.
But, I pretty much had the same BS opinion of those urban witch doctors (also known as chiropractors) until I had one work on and fix my screwed up back a few years ago so we’ll see.
…I’ll report my final “BS meter” setting about 4-5 months from now.
UPDATE: March 16, 2011…
It didn't work. Toe looks the same but at least not worse. Applying the post operative "Tree Tea" oils daily whitened the nail but did nothing to get rid of the fungus. At $12/oz for something that smells suspiciously like paint thinner, I'm pulling the plug on this waste of time and $$...
UPDATE: July 14, 2011
UPDATE: June 23, 2012
Fake San Jose foot doctor convicted of 19 felonies
By Eric Kurhi
"...Silberman was convicted on the remaining 19 counts. He was acquitted on the misdemeanor child endangerment charge, which stemmed from using laser therapy on a 4-year-old."
The fungus of the big toe hasn’t responded to liberal applications of Lamisil, Lotrimin or numerous acidic lotions that promise to restore my extremity digit to healthful looking status. I’ll spare you any photographic grossness of the ugly toe, so just take my word for it. It’s bad.
The only drawback is the wallet draining cost. One thousand bucks ($100/per toe) is no small bet. That’s approximately a one month paycheck of substitute teaching gamble on this working.
Anyway, the other morning there was this ad on the radio about laser treatment of toenail fungus for only $500 for ALL TEN TOES ($50/toe) from an outfit called “ShinyToes” here in town. I called for an appointment.
The GPS unit guided me to the address of the medical clinic, as it announced “Arriving on right”!
I’m looking for a medical clinic like looking building but all I see is a block of old Victorian homes in this neighborhood. I circled the block, while “Mindy” (our GPS) made recalculating announcements until I parked at her indicated address destination.
The address was a Bed & Breakfast Inn according to the sign on the building.
I climbed the steps and rang the bell. I told the guy who answered the door that I might have the wrong address but I was looking for ShinyToes? The doc verified that I was at the right address, this was the wellness clinic and that they just hadn’t gotten around to changing the sign on the door yet.
My BS intuition meter ratchets up to “1” but…
The guy explains that he, Mr. “S”, is the director of this particular “wellness clinic” as attested to by the framed degree in on his desk issued by the Harvard Medical School of Boston Mass. It indicates a successful completion of 1.0 unit in some field (I forget the actual wording as I was focused on the “1.0 units”) of “Wellness Training”
BS meter ratchets up to “2” but…
After explaining what the treatment is, the cost and answers my questions about how many patients he’s successfully treated, I hand over my HSA card for a $500 charge. We move to the treatment room, which I later found out was the dining room of the mansion, where the initial exam is to take place.
It’s there that I meet the laser technician, Ms “P” that is to do the actual “lasering”.
“This will have to be a gloveless session as we don’t have any more gloves”, Mr. “S” explains to Ms “P”. “I need to go out for more gloves”, Mr. "P" states as he exits the room.
BS meter skips “3” and goes right to “4” but…
Ms. P activates the laser unit and starts working on toes left to right. Working carefully using only the laser pen tip to touch the toenails, she instructs me in the common sense precautions about common showers at the gym and tub showers at home.
Nuke the floor with Clorox before use when possible and wear flip-flops when not.
As she progresses from toe to toe, I don’t feel anything. No heat, no burning sensation, no smoke or sizzling. If fact I can’t even see the laser light on the toenail!
BS meter at “5” but…
I mention that fact to Ms. P and she demonstrates that there actually is red light coming from the end of the pen by shining it on my pant leg. It’s appears to be of less intensity than the laser pointer we have at home to drive the cats nuts chasing around the house.
BS meter at “6”….
They said I should see improvement in about four months when the nail has had time to grow out (or fall off) enough to tell any difference, but I’m doubtful.
But, I pretty much had the same BS opinion of those urban witch doctors (also known as chiropractors) until I had one work on and fix my screwed up back a few years ago so we’ll see.
…I’ll report my final “BS meter” setting about 4-5 months from now.
UPDATE: March 16, 2011…
It didn't work. Toe looks the same but at least not worse. Applying the post operative "Tree Tea" oils daily whitened the nail but did nothing to get rid of the fungus. At $12/oz for something that smells suspiciously like paint thinner, I'm pulling the plug on this waste of time and $$...
UPDATE: July 14, 2011
"...A San Jose spa owner who owns several Shiny Toes shops in the Bay Area is facing felony charges after investigators seized evidence from his office and charged him with injuring a 4-year-old child during laser treatment.
Cary Silberman, 52, was arrested Monday by investigators from the Medical Board of California and was charged by the Santa Clara County District Attorney's Office with two felonies, including practicing medicine without a license and grand theft by fraud, and one misdemeanor count of child endangerment."UPDATE: June 23, 2012
Fake San Jose foot doctor convicted of 19 felonies
By Eric Kurhi
"...Silberman was convicted on the remaining 19 counts. He was acquitted on the misdemeanor child endangerment charge, which stemmed from using laser therapy on a 4-year-old."
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
In the Search for Equality, Common Sense is Abandoned...
Via: The Washington Examiner
By: Byron York
Chief Political Correspondent
August 3, 2010
Then by the same reasoning, shouldn't schools stop using dry erase white boards and electronic SmartBoards in the classroom?
--and--
By: Byron York
Chief Political Correspondent
August 3, 2010
"...Last year, the schools -- among them Princeton, Arizona State and Case Western Reserve -- wanted to know if e-book readers would be more convenient and less costly than traditional textbooks. The environmentally conscious educators also wanted to reduce the huge amount of paper students use to print files from their laptops.
It seemed like a promising idea until the universities got a letter from the Justice Department's Civil Rights Division, now under an aggressive new chief, Thomas Perez, telling them they were under investigation for possible violations of the Americans With Disabilities Act.
From its introduction in 2007, the Kindle has drawn criticism from the National Federation of the Blind and other activist groups. While the Kindle's text-to-speech feature could read a book aloud, its menu functions required sight to operate. "If you could get a sighted person to fire up the device and start reading the book to you, that's fine," says Chris Danielsen, a spokesman for the federation. "But other than that, there was really no way to use it."
..."
Then by the same reasoning, shouldn't schools stop using dry erase white boards and electronic SmartBoards in the classroom?
--and--
"...Now, Perez is at work on a far bigger project, one that could eventually declare the Internet a "public accommodation" under the ADA. That could result in a raft of new Justice Department regulations for disabled access..."
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Milestones...
According to StatCounter, sometime this week the blog hit counter will roll over 100,000 page views.
Six years ago when I started this blog, I never imagined that it would develop any kind of notice to reach that kind of number.
So…I wish to thank in advance all 74 public followers, numerous “tweeters” (even though I don’t understand how that works) and the few anonymous friends I know who wish to remain that way…That’s you Gary, Pat and Val!
On to the next 100K!!
Six years ago when I started this blog, I never imagined that it would develop any kind of notice to reach that kind of number.
So…I wish to thank in advance all 74 public followers, numerous “tweeters” (even though I don’t understand how that works) and the few anonymous friends I know who wish to remain that way…That’s you Gary, Pat and Val!
On to the next 100K!!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
School Year 2010/11 Starts in Four Weeks!
School starts again in exactly four weeks. I hope those kids spent some time in the library!...
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Summer Jobs for White Substitute Teachers?
From: Beijing, China (CNN) -- In China, white people can be rented.
For a day, a weekend, a week, up to even a month or two, Chinese companies are willing to pay high prices for fair-faced foreigners to join them as fake employees or business partners.
Some call it "White Guy Window Dressing." To others, it's known as the "White Guy in a Tie" events, "The Token White Guy Gig," or, simply, a "Face Job."
And it is, essentially, all about the age-old Chinese concept of face. To have a few foreigners hanging around means a company has prestige, money and the increasingly crucial connections -- real or not -- to businesses abroad.
...Before you apply, view the accompanying video. You could end up spending time in a Chinese jail.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
AUTO SERVICE
Yep, I thought. The car might be due for an oil change or tire rotation but some how I didn’t think I’d get it done here despite the services advertised.
The “AUTO SERVICE” sign notice was taped to the locked men’s room door of the local Carl’s burger joint.
I wonder if this phonetic spelling is the result of too much shorthand texting or too many social promotions in school.
The “AUTO SERVICE” sign notice was taped to the locked men’s room door of the local Carl’s burger joint.
I wonder if this phonetic spelling is the result of too much shorthand texting or too many social promotions in school.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Politicians and Geography
When politicians don't know basic geography of the topics they want to speak on, you wonder what else they failed in H.S.??
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Writing Services...
“Dear KauaiMark,
I work for xyz company, a writing service company.We (have)provide(d) students help in academic writing since 1997. Our clients include students and graduates of all major American and British colleges and we've been consistently rated by clients to be the best-performing company in the field.Our service has stood the test of time and we hope that that will allow us to work with you in the future. I have found your blog, and (i'm) curious if we can advertise at your blog.
Please let me know if you are interested, and (i) will send a proposal to you(.)"
Every once in a while I’ll get similar email requests to advertise a product or service via direct email.
While I don’t normally respond to such requests I was curious just how an “essay writing service” advertises their product. From the capitalization and grammar corrections I noticed (and highlighted) in the original email, I'm not initially impressed.
The idea of others doing “essay writing” in exchange for goods and services isn’t new. Kids have been doing it for classmates for decades. It seems that the internet has turned it into a global business.
The following snippets are cut and paste from the companies website.
The bolding emphasis is my not so subliminal comment on their service and abilities.
Web Site Main Page:
“We will do more then help you write it on time”
“…written from scratch because our team of essay writers knows the consequences and dangers that plagiarism can have on your academic career”
100% authentic papers
Your reputation is what we are working for
Advertising Testimonial:
"I was about to give up on my thesis until my friend told me about your service and his good experience. It was really timely advice with me in a real bind. I made some slight changes and my thesis was accepted! I am really happy I did not have to rewrite several times like most of my friends had to"
(…I guess this implies that his friends used a lesser quality service that required corrections before turning in a bogus thesis??)
Book Reports:
“…Your report will express the deep knowledge (...not yours)and give a thorough analysis on the book to provide a well-grounded conclusion.”
Research Papers:
“…recommended for the most complicated subjects, such as Aviation, Engineering etc” (OMG!!)
Plagiarism:
We are happy to provide you with a plagiarism scan that is available upon request. (…I bet it passes every time)
I wonder how much these guys would charge me to write funny and/or insightful blog posts about my substitute teaching experiences. It might be more interesting than the real thing!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Final Tally: 2009-2010
Another year in the books and the results are in.
For the 180 possible working school days for 2009/10 school year:
66 full working days
13 half days
----
79 days in school
For the 180 possible working school days for 2009/10 school year:
66 full working days
13 half days
----
79 days in school
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Mr. Armstrong...
Ex-major league pitcher with blown arm substitute teaching...Funny video:
Kindle Wireless Reading Device (6" Display, Global Wireless, Latest Generation)
Kindle Wireless Reading Device (6" Display, Global Wireless, Latest Generation)
Saturday, June 05, 2010
FindOurSchool.com
I knew there were sites like http://www.ratemyteachers.com/, but I didn't know there were also school ratings sites.
This one is new and still under construction. Pretty cool if you are thinking of moving to a new area and want to take a peek at the local schools and neighborhoods in the area.
FindOurSchool.com.
Find Information on the best Brooklyn Schools
This one is new and still under construction. Pretty cool if you are thinking of moving to a new area and want to take a peek at the local schools and neighborhoods in the area.
FindOurSchool.com.
Find Information on the best Brooklyn Schools
Friday, June 04, 2010
Breaks…
We’re in the last week of the 2009/10 school year and getting ready for the summer break. You may or may not have noticed but I haven’t written anything for the last couple weeks. That’s because I took a break from the blog and school to vacation ten days in Hawaii. Substitute teachers can do that with a simple call to enter a “period of unavailability” at any time for any reason.
The reason to vacation two weeks early was intended to beat the airlines at their own “un-fare” game. Claudette and I booked our flights to Hawaii before the predictable increase in air fares when the real teachers go on vacation.
The plan was working perfectly until we encountered a different kind of unexpected “break”.
Claudette fell off one of her “really cute new shoes” and broke her foot entering the hotel the day we arrived on Kauai. We still had a great time except for the “urgent care” facility visit.
Rotten break!
The reason to vacation two weeks early was intended to beat the airlines at their own “un-fare” game. Claudette and I booked our flights to Hawaii before the predictable increase in air fares when the real teachers go on vacation.
The plan was working perfectly until we encountered a different kind of unexpected “break”.
Claudette fell off one of her “really cute new shoes” and broke her foot entering the hotel the day we arrived on Kauai. We still had a great time except for the “urgent care” facility visit.
Rotten break!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Subbing As a Career...
No one spends fifteen plus years in school with a final goal to become a “professional substitute teacher”. While there are many reasons that a person might go into substitute teaching, making it a life long career isn’t one of them.
A newly minted credentialed teacher discovers that teaching jobs aren’t as plentiful as expected. Subbing is a way to get your foot in the door, make contacts and demonstrate your abilities in the attempt to land that ideal job you previously thought was waiting for you after graduation.
The just retired teacher can’t quite walk away from the classroom just yet. Some of the reasons might include subbing as a way to keep in touch with life long teacher friends or a pension supplement for that yearly cruise vacation.
You volunteered your time at the school while your kids attended. Now they’re out of school and on their own. That empty nest feeling is getting to you. Feeling it’s too late to start a new career, subbing at least pays something for what you used to for free and yet allows flexibility to take off whenever you need.
Laid off in a down economy, unemployment insurance ran out and not enough in the savings account to survive. No matter what they say or what’s legal, being over 50 years of age is a big negative in the competition for employment in a professional industry position. Educators refer to anyone not working for the schools or government as “industry”. Subbing is flexible enough to schedule job interviews around if they materialize. In the mean time, subbing income helps pay some of the bills until you’re old enough to start taking Social Security. This is me.
Then there is a small majority, one of which I met recently. She’s close to my age and, coincidently, attended the same high school I did. After graduation she skipped college and went directly into the workforce. She didn’t elaborate on her employment history but did tell me that a while back she returned to school and obtained her BA, Masters and a teaching credential hoping to get a teaching position.
When that didn’t happen she started subbing full time. She’s currently signed with three districts and has worked for almost every district in the area since she graduated university. Three districts will almost guarantee an assignment every school day. She has invested in keeping her teaching credential current in the hope that a teaching position will open for her. She’s been subbing for nine years and is no closer to a teaching position than when she started.
She’s given up hope to be a full time teacher as she told me she isn’t going to renew her teaching credential next year. She will continue to substitute full time until she reaches retirement age.
“I have no choice. I have to…”
A newly minted credentialed teacher discovers that teaching jobs aren’t as plentiful as expected. Subbing is a way to get your foot in the door, make contacts and demonstrate your abilities in the attempt to land that ideal job you previously thought was waiting for you after graduation.
The just retired teacher can’t quite walk away from the classroom just yet. Some of the reasons might include subbing as a way to keep in touch with life long teacher friends or a pension supplement for that yearly cruise vacation.
You volunteered your time at the school while your kids attended. Now they’re out of school and on their own. That empty nest feeling is getting to you. Feeling it’s too late to start a new career, subbing at least pays something for what you used to for free and yet allows flexibility to take off whenever you need.
Laid off in a down economy, unemployment insurance ran out and not enough in the savings account to survive. No matter what they say or what’s legal, being over 50 years of age is a big negative in the competition for employment in a professional industry position. Educators refer to anyone not working for the schools or government as “industry”. Subbing is flexible enough to schedule job interviews around if they materialize. In the mean time, subbing income helps pay some of the bills until you’re old enough to start taking Social Security. This is me.
Then there is a small majority, one of which I met recently. She’s close to my age and, coincidently, attended the same high school I did. After graduation she skipped college and went directly into the workforce. She didn’t elaborate on her employment history but did tell me that a while back she returned to school and obtained her BA, Masters and a teaching credential hoping to get a teaching position.
When that didn’t happen she started subbing full time. She’s currently signed with three districts and has worked for almost every district in the area since she graduated university. Three districts will almost guarantee an assignment every school day. She has invested in keeping her teaching credential current in the hope that a teaching position will open for her. She’s been subbing for nine years and is no closer to a teaching position than when she started.
She’s given up hope to be a full time teacher as she told me she isn’t going to renew her teaching credential next year. She will continue to substitute full time until she reaches retirement age.
“I have no choice. I have to…”
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Winding Down...
The last day of school is June/11 for this year. The prevailing atmosphere in the classroom is that most of the kids have already checked out.
I was asked to do a “roving sub” assignment for three of the 6th grade classes yesterday. I was brought in to work 1.5hrs in each classroom to allow the teachers additional time to catch up evaluating the “writing” ability of their students. The teachers need to complete the student writing assessments for final grades.
Each teacher I talked to before my time slot made similar comments about the kids being more talkative than usual now that they’re in the final weeks. The final classroom lesson plan even listed:
“1:50 – 2:30: Science practice book pages xxx to xxx…or just take them out to the school yard for P.E. if you feel the need to get out”
No science practice book pages completed!
I was asked to do a “roving sub” assignment for three of the 6th grade classes yesterday. I was brought in to work 1.5hrs in each classroom to allow the teachers additional time to catch up evaluating the “writing” ability of their students. The teachers need to complete the student writing assessments for final grades.
Each teacher I talked to before my time slot made similar comments about the kids being more talkative than usual now that they’re in the final weeks. The final classroom lesson plan even listed:
“1:50 – 2:30: Science practice book pages xxx to xxx…or just take them out to the school yard for P.E. if you feel the need to get out”
No science practice book pages completed!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Unexpected Surprise…
I mentioned earlier that the 6th grade class I was to have today, had a “low expectation of social behavior” when it came to school demeanor. I knew what to expect.
Well, I’m batting 1-2 in the “expectations” department. Today's anticipated disaster with the 6th graders didn’t materialize!
Well, I’m batting 1-2 in the “expectations” department. Today's anticipated disaster with the 6th graders didn’t materialize!
Since the last time I was in this class, the school had instituted a guideline to remove the class hoodlum whenever a sub was in for the teacher. Amazingly, removing that one kid dispelled the dark forces that permeated the social atmosphere I had witnessed twice earlier this year.
The class was actually fun to be with for a change!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Hand Sanitizer Insanity…
Well, contrary to expectations about sub assignments during testing week, I’ve picked up three assignments for this week. A 2nd grade class today, 6th on Thursday and 5th on Friday to round out the week.
I wouldn’t designate the first two assignments “prime” because the 2nd grade assignment is at a school that has a reputation for “low expectations of social behavior” and the second assignment in a 6th grade class that I know has the same problem because I’ve experienced it twice already this year.
While most 2nd graders elsewhere are usually excited about school, think it’s fun and are respectful of adults. These 2nd graders lived down to the school reputation. In addition to being hard to control, one girl would constantly taunt others to start fights. “I don’t do homework and you can’t make me!” spouts the boy that just arrived mid-day from his “special classes”.
Just before lunch break, the kids were to line up and get a “small squirt” of hand sanitizer before walking over for lunch. I should have known better than to let the designated “squirter” kid handle what looked like a quart sized jug of the stuff to parcel out.
By the time I saw what was happening, several kids were lathering themselves up to their elbows and dripping it off the ends of all ten fingers.
This day could not have ended soon enough. All I could think of was decompressing for a whole day tomorrow before doing it all over again on Thursday…with the 6th graders!
I wouldn’t designate the first two assignments “prime” because the 2nd grade assignment is at a school that has a reputation for “low expectations of social behavior” and the second assignment in a 6th grade class that I know has the same problem because I’ve experienced it twice already this year.
While most 2nd graders elsewhere are usually excited about school, think it’s fun and are respectful of adults. These 2nd graders lived down to the school reputation. In addition to being hard to control, one girl would constantly taunt others to start fights. “I don’t do homework and you can’t make me!” spouts the boy that just arrived mid-day from his “special classes”.
Just before lunch break, the kids were to line up and get a “small squirt” of hand sanitizer before walking over for lunch. I should have known better than to let the designated “squirter” kid handle what looked like a quart sized jug of the stuff to parcel out.
By the time I saw what was happening, several kids were lathering themselves up to their elbows and dripping it off the ends of all ten fingers.
This day could not have ended soon enough. All I could think of was decompressing for a whole day tomorrow before doing it all over again on Thursday…with the 6th graders!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Silence of the Lines…
It’s the same every year about this time. Steady work all year and then suddenly the phone lines go dark. No phone calls, no automated request calls, no email requests from teachers…nada!
That’s when you realize it is mid-May and state testing for all the schools starts this week. All teachers are required on deck to conduct and monitor the tests. Subs need not apply.
Testing ends Thursday. I have an assignment for Friday.
That’s when you realize it is mid-May and state testing for all the schools starts this week. All teachers are required on deck to conduct and monitor the tests. Subs need not apply.
Testing ends Thursday. I have an assignment for Friday.
Thursday, May 06, 2010
Squirrel Head...
I just released the 2nd graders for recess and retired to the teachers lounge for quick Diet Pepsi break.
A few minutes later, one of the other teachers came in and said that a group of boys had found a decapitated squirrel head and were poking at it with sticks. When I started to get up, she said: "Don't worry, the janitor shooed them away and carried it off with a shovel". I sat back down and finished my drink. She misinterpreted my motivation.
Maybe it's a guy thing but I wanted to take a look!
A few minutes later, one of the other teachers came in and said that a group of boys had found a decapitated squirrel head and were poking at it with sticks. When I started to get up, she said: "Don't worry, the janitor shooed them away and carried it off with a shovel". I sat back down and finished my drink. She misinterpreted my motivation.
Maybe it's a guy thing but I wanted to take a look!
Monday, May 03, 2010
They Fooled Me…
I don’t have that gift for remembering names. Whether it’s a curse or gift depends on circumstances.
I’m doomed when it comes to remembering 20-30 names of kids in class that I have just met or haven’t seen for several weeks. Conversely, there seem to be hundreds of kids that know me by sight and name at all the schools I work
When I arrive on campus to pick up the attendance sheet and walk the gauntlet path to my assigned classroom, I’m always greeted by name by students waiting to be allowed on playground before school. I’ll wave back and respond with a non-committal greeting response.
This last month, I’ve been working in the same 5th grade class twice a week while the teacher is getting some kind of medical treatment. After the 2nd week, I could almost put names to faces of about half the class. Even if I couldn’t remember a name, I did recognize the face of every kid that belonged in this class.
It helps remembering names when you have to use them several times a day to get certain people back in the academic instead of entertainment frame of mind. Others I might remember for unusual physical features or characteristics. On the last week of this multi-week assignment, I went to the playground to “collect” my class for the walk to the classroom.
When I was in hearing range, several kids were telling me that they had a new kid in class. Sure enough, the second kid in line was a new face I didn’t recognize.
I said “Hello, What’s your name?” to the newbie boy who gave no response of any kind.
“He doesn’t speak English. He’s from France!” the kid next to him informed me. A quick look at the lesson plan had no notes about a new “French kid” or how I was supposed to work with him.
I’m thinking: “Great! Just great!"
Back at the classroom, I started taking attendance waiting to see which name this kid would respond to.
When I get to “Sam” and the kid responds with “Here!” I repeat the name again using the first and last name I know is absolutely not French in origin and belongs to a kid that doesn't seem to be in class today.
The French kid responds: “Hey Mr. Homework! It’s me! Don’t you recognize me?”
I’m clueless. If I have seen this kid before, I don’t recognize him now.
I take a closer look at “Sam” and remember that “Sam” was the kid I mistook for a girl on that first day because of his long, dark hair, gender neutral build and clothing. He now sports a short haircut and looks totally different. He looks like a boy.
Sam: “I got a haircut because I got tired of everyone thinking I looked like a girl”, he says with a big grin, “Did I fool ya?”
Me: “That you did, Sam. You got me! I just hope I recognize you the next time I’m here”
BTW: This isn’t the first time I had difficulty recognizing boys .vs. girls
I’m doomed when it comes to remembering 20-30 names of kids in class that I have just met or haven’t seen for several weeks. Conversely, there seem to be hundreds of kids that know me by sight and name at all the schools I work
When I arrive on campus to pick up the attendance sheet and walk the gauntlet path to my assigned classroom, I’m always greeted by name by students waiting to be allowed on playground before school. I’ll wave back and respond with a non-committal greeting response.
This last month, I’ve been working in the same 5th grade class twice a week while the teacher is getting some kind of medical treatment. After the 2nd week, I could almost put names to faces of about half the class. Even if I couldn’t remember a name, I did recognize the face of every kid that belonged in this class.
It helps remembering names when you have to use them several times a day to get certain people back in the academic instead of entertainment frame of mind. Others I might remember for unusual physical features or characteristics. On the last week of this multi-week assignment, I went to the playground to “collect” my class for the walk to the classroom.
When I was in hearing range, several kids were telling me that they had a new kid in class. Sure enough, the second kid in line was a new face I didn’t recognize.
I said “Hello, What’s your name?” to the newbie boy who gave no response of any kind.
“He doesn’t speak English. He’s from France!” the kid next to him informed me. A quick look at the lesson plan had no notes about a new “French kid” or how I was supposed to work with him.
I’m thinking: “Great! Just great!"
Back at the classroom, I started taking attendance waiting to see which name this kid would respond to.
When I get to “Sam” and the kid responds with “Here!” I repeat the name again using the first and last name I know is absolutely not French in origin and belongs to a kid that doesn't seem to be in class today.
The French kid responds: “Hey Mr. Homework! It’s me! Don’t you recognize me?”
I’m clueless. If I have seen this kid before, I don’t recognize him now.
I take a closer look at “Sam” and remember that “Sam” was the kid I mistook for a girl on that first day because of his long, dark hair, gender neutral build and clothing. He now sports a short haircut and looks totally different. He looks like a boy.
Sam: “I got a haircut because I got tired of everyone thinking I looked like a girl”, he says with a big grin, “Did I fool ya?”
Me: “That you did, Sam. You got me! I just hope I recognize you the next time I’m here”
BTW: This isn’t the first time I had difficulty recognizing boys .vs. girls
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Poo...
Twenty 3rd graders, forty shoes, one fresh dog poo; guess how many kids tracked it in the classroom after recess. One would have been more than enough, but FOUR??…
How was your day?
How was your day?
Monday, April 26, 2010
Privacy 101
I find that embarrassment is a pretty good deterrent to continuing distractions in the classroom. Passing notes instead of doing work is one such distraction I tolerate only at a minimal level. I warn the students that I read everything I find on notes being passed around or found on the floor. I even suggest that I might share a few of the more interesting ones out loud with the class.
“In general, if you want to keep it private, don’t do it in class.” More than a few haven’t taken me seriously.
Such was the incident in a 5th grade class last week when three girls were fighting over a tiny address book in the back of the classroom. After an ignored warning to “knock it off and put it away” I walked back and confiscated it, telling the owner she could have it back after class.
Returning to my desk at the front of the class, I made a show of opening the book, turning the pages, not really reading lists of names, addresses, Face Book handles and email addresses of classmates. Every now and again I’d make non-committal comments like: “Hmm! Interesting!, Oh, wow!” while surreptitiously watching the book owner squirm in her seat. After a minute or so, I believed that I had made my point, was ready close the book and place it in the desk drawer until the final bell.
That’s when I turned the page and saw it! The sudden shock or surprised look on my face must have registered or maybe it was something I uttered under my breath but the kid knew I had seen it.
There, entered on the next page was MY personal email address!!!
Now it was me that had that stunned, surprised and pissed all at the same time look. I didn’t want to overreact in front of the rest of the class. I simply looked at the book owner and gestured that she should approach the desk.
When she came close enough, I turned the page and pointed with a questioning look.
“Where and when did you get this?” I whispered, pointing to my email address. Her explanation was simple and direct: “From the paper on your clipboard. I saw it when you were helping me with rounding up numbers in math.”
Sure enough, I see that part of my contact information on the end of day status report has slipped just a bit beyond the bottom of lesson plan that is on top.
There wasn’t much I could do at this point but to but cross out the email address and warn the girl that I wasn’t happy that she had copied stuff that she knew she wasn’t supposed to have access to without permission.
I normally try to end blog entries with clever quips or a summation phrase but…nothing comes to mind for this one.
Still stunned and pissed I guess.
“In general, if you want to keep it private, don’t do it in class.” More than a few haven’t taken me seriously.
Such was the incident in a 5th grade class last week when three girls were fighting over a tiny address book in the back of the classroom. After an ignored warning to “knock it off and put it away” I walked back and confiscated it, telling the owner she could have it back after class.
Returning to my desk at the front of the class, I made a show of opening the book, turning the pages, not really reading lists of names, addresses, Face Book handles and email addresses of classmates. Every now and again I’d make non-committal comments like: “Hmm! Interesting!, Oh, wow!” while surreptitiously watching the book owner squirm in her seat. After a minute or so, I believed that I had made my point, was ready close the book and place it in the desk drawer until the final bell.
That’s when I turned the page and saw it! The sudden shock or surprised look on my face must have registered or maybe it was something I uttered under my breath but the kid knew I had seen it.
There, entered on the next page was MY personal email address!!!
Now it was me that had that stunned, surprised and pissed all at the same time look. I didn’t want to overreact in front of the rest of the class. I simply looked at the book owner and gestured that she should approach the desk.
When she came close enough, I turned the page and pointed with a questioning look.
“Where and when did you get this?” I whispered, pointing to my email address. Her explanation was simple and direct: “From the paper on your clipboard. I saw it when you were helping me with rounding up numbers in math.”
Sure enough, I see that part of my contact information on the end of day status report has slipped just a bit beyond the bottom of lesson plan that is on top.
There wasn’t much I could do at this point but to but cross out the email address and warn the girl that I wasn’t happy that she had copied stuff that she knew she wasn’t supposed to have access to without permission.
I normally try to end blog entries with clever quips or a summation phrase but…nothing comes to mind for this one.
Still stunned and pissed I guess.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Revealed?
I had always assumed that the teachers I work for have no interest, inclination or time to read blogs; especially those by substitute teachers.
I say “had” because I received an email request to sub addressed, not to the published email address I leave for teachers, but to the blogger email address.
I guess it had to happen sooner or later…or had it?
The email, I later discovered, came from another substitute teacher working in the same district. She needed to locate someone to cover the last hour of a class due to an overlapping commitment elsewhere. As it turned out, I was working only a half day at a different school was able to oblige. The little extra cash for extending my lunch hour before I went home was a good deal.
I asked how she ended up with the blogger email address and it was immediately obvious. She knew my name and that I was subbing frequently at the school. Google connected the two search phrases and it provided her with the blog site. After reading a few posts, she was sure she knew she had the right guy before contacting me.
Would teachers tell me if they found the blog? Would I suddenly see a drop off in assignments? Would I be blackballed if the district took notice? Am I worried enough to stop writing or change what I write about?
The answers: I don’t know; It could happen; Possibility; …and Not really.
There are several other districts in the area I can work for if that happened.
I say “had” because I received an email request to sub addressed, not to the published email address I leave for teachers, but to the blogger email address.
I guess it had to happen sooner or later…or had it?
The email, I later discovered, came from another substitute teacher working in the same district. She needed to locate someone to cover the last hour of a class due to an overlapping commitment elsewhere. As it turned out, I was working only a half day at a different school was able to oblige. The little extra cash for extending my lunch hour before I went home was a good deal.
I asked how she ended up with the blogger email address and it was immediately obvious. She knew my name and that I was subbing frequently at the school. Google connected the two search phrases and it provided her with the blog site. After reading a few posts, she was sure she knew she had the right guy before contacting me.
Would teachers tell me if they found the blog? Would I suddenly see a drop off in assignments? Would I be blackballed if the district took notice? Am I worried enough to stop writing or change what I write about?
The answers: I don’t know; It could happen; Possibility; …and Not really.
There are several other districts in the area I can work for if that happened.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Free Field Trip?
Every now and again I get email wanting to publicize a product or school relate function on the blog. I rarely accommodate the request unless I think I think it's "cool enough".
I'll let you guys vote -- yes/no in the comments section. Is this a program any teacher would be interested enough to investigate further?
(see the link to lunchables.com for further info)
"........
I think you and your readers might be interested in a project I’m working on for Field Trips.
Did you know that the American Assoc. of school administrators predicts that the number of school districts eliminating field trips will increase by 56 percent, or more than 30,000 schools?
My client, Lunchables, recently announced a new campaign to help deserving kids go on education and inspiring field trip adventures, called “Field trips for All.” They’ll be sending 50 classrooms nationwide on unforgettable field trips. Anyone can nominate a classroom to win a field trip on Lunchables.com through June 1!
To kick off the program, we took one lucky class of fifth graders on a field trip where they came face to face with some out-of-this-world creatures…check out this video to see what went down! I hope you’ll take a moment to nominate your classroom to win a field trip or let your readers know how they can get involved.
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