Ever wonder what would happen if Santa ever needed a substitute for the big night? Well it might go something like this:
From: The Blog O'Cheese
The following is an excerpt from a speech by a She-Claus mom to the elves just before she embarks on her Christmas Eve night - delivering toys to the good girls and boys around the world.
"Attention Elves! [Echo: Elves... elves... elves] I SAID, ATTENTION ELVES!
I am NOT going to ask you to be quiet AGAIN! Do you understand?
First things first: Do these flannel pants with white cotton cuffs and added padding in the buttocks make my butt look big?
Nevermind, nevermind. Don't answer that. Now, let's get down to business...."
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