Writing Services...

“Dear KauaiMark,

I work for xyz company, a writing service company.
We (have)provide(d) students help in academic writing since 1997. Our clients include students and graduates of all major American and British colleges and we've been consistently rated by clients to be the best-performing company in the field.Our service has stood the test of time and we hope that that will allow us to work with you in the future. I have found your blog, and (i'm) curious if we can advertise at your blog.
Please let me know if you are interested, and (i) will send a proposal to you(.)"

Every once in a while I’ll get similar email requests to advertise a product or service via direct email. 

While I don’t normally respond to such requests I was curious just how an “essay writing service” advertises their product. From the capitalization and grammar corrections I noticed (and highlighted) in the original email, I'm not initially impressed.

The idea of others doing “essay writing” in exchange for goods and services isn’t new. Kids have been doing it for classmates for decades. It seems that the internet has turned it into a global business.

The following snippets are cut and paste from the companies website. 

The bolding emphasis is my not so subliminal comment on their service and abilities.

Web Site Main Page:

“We will do more then help you write it on time”

“…written from scratch because our team of essay writers knows the consequences and dangers that plagiarism can have on your academic career”

100% authentic papers

Your reputation is what we are working for

Advertising Testimonial:

"I was about to give up on my thesis until my friend told me about your service and his good experience. It was really timely advice with me in a real bind. I made some slight changes and my thesis was accepted! I am really happy I did not have to rewrite several times like most of my friends had to"

(…I guess this implies that his friends used a lesser quality service that required corrections before turning in a bogus thesis??)

Book Reports:

“…Your report will express the deep knowledge (...not yours)and give a thorough analysis on the book to provide a well-grounded conclusion.”

Research Papers:

“…recommended for the most complicated subjects, such as Aviation, Engineering etc” (OMG!!)

Plagiarism:

We are happy to provide you with a plagiarism scan that is available upon request. (…I bet it passes every time)

I wonder how much these guys would charge me to write funny and/or insightful blog posts about my substitute teaching experiences. It might be more interesting than the real thing!