Grey Fox?

Awoke this morning to see this little fellow in our back yard. We live almost on the south/east outskirts of San Jose, Calif but certainly not considered IN the country.

We HAVE seen lots of possums, raccoons, deer, turkeys, ducks and wild geese. We can hear the coyotes in the hills at night behind us and have even seen a few out while walking in the hills, but I've never seen a fox in the 30yrs we've lived here.

I think it's a grey fox. Can anyone confirm? Pretty animal...

Bully - The Movie

I remember being the target in 6-8 grades in the 1960's. It pretty much ended when I got into a fist fight with one of them and the nuns had to pull me off him. We went to separate High Schools the next year.

Khan Academy Classroom - Flip the Classroom

Kahn Academy on 60 minutes. This combined with iPads in the classroom could be the classroom of the future...which could/should easily be...NOW!

 

Are Textbooks in the Classroom Dead?

A friend of mine sends his daughter to a H.S. that has eliminated almost all text books in the classroom. The school, instead, issues all students an iPad as a replacement textbook resource. The coming of age for iPad like devices in the classroom is becoming more prevalent as Apple reports that more than 600 schools across the nation, including the one my friends daughter attends, are ditching the classic text book.

I think it’s a great idea that has only one tiny potential glitch. Hardly anyone is going to steal a 6^th grade math book from the dozens of backpacks left unattended outside a classroom or on a bus. Dozens of school backpacks with iPads inside are another matter.

My friends H.S. assigns liability for the iPad to the parents to make sure it’s returned to the school intact and undamaged. That school offers flat fee insurance of about $50/yr that covers damage but isn’t mandatory. The parents can opt out and risk the cost of replacing it on their own or insure it elsewhere with one of many private policy issuers.

But for now, and until the schools I work are able to maintain a working day-to-day network, I won’t have to worry about connecting and navigating the electronic text books.

…But that day APPEARS fast approaching!

Uh-Oh

I might be paranoid but then again, maybe not.
Look who's been visiting the blog lately...

U.S. Army, Dept of Defense

Greatest Teacher Free Stuff!

I like free stuff. Sometimes I get free stuff. Sometimes I get to give away free stuff. 

This time YOU get a chance to give away free stuff to the school and/or the teachers you think deserve free stuff...but only till the end of the month.

"...Worth Ave Group’s “Greatest Teacher” Technology in Education Give-away. The grant will give away $150,000 in grants and prizes to teachers and their schools who get the most votes for the "Greatest Teacher in America," including a $25,000 education technology grant for schools, iPads for teachers, etc. Voting runs through March 31st, 2012."

If you want to nominate a teacher, submit your entry here->  http://www.worthavegroup.com/giveaway/

The Quiet Gun...

From Right On The Left Coast: Every Teacher Wants One:

It currently looks a bit bulky to fit in my substitute teacher bag, but I'm sure with new revisions they will get it down to the size of a laser pen...eventually.

But they'll have to do something about the name. Can't bring something with the word "gun" to school although "glue gun" is still acceptable.  I don't think this thing would get the same pass.  It will have to pass the: "Will it get the S.W.A.T. team upset if you point it at them" test.

I'm sure with time and improvements, every teacher will be provided one as standard classroom issue.

The Night Watchman Maze …

I’ve had a couple of email requests about the puzzle in the “Mr. G” post.

I first saw this in a comic book when I was a kid and comic books cost 10-cents/ea. I wasted I don’t know how many hours trying to solve it. Never found a solution until I got to college and used it as a term paper in a logic/math class to answer the question: “Does it have a solution?”

I was successfully able to answer the question and explain my logical solution to get an “A” for the assignment. If you want the answer, request via email and  I’ll reply with the solution. 

I’ve used it in various classrooms when the assigned work is completed in less time than allowed and they need something “fun” to occupy/exercise their curious minds.

The materials required are one personal sized whiteboard and two different color whiteboard markers, one to draw the floor plan the other to draw a path.

As the story goes, a night watchman is assigned the job of locking all the doors of a building for the night. After a few years on the job assigned to the same building, the night watchman is getting a little bored with the job.

He decides to make his job a bit more interesting by trying to see if there is a path through the building where he can lock the all the doors behind him as he passes through each door of the building. The only rule is that he can pass through, close and lock each door once and at the end all the doors must be closed and locked.

He may start inside or outside the building and he can end up either inside or outside the building.

The floor plan of the building is displayed below. It has five rooms and sixteen doorways.Your task is to draw his walking path around and through the building to accomplish his goal.

The building floor plan is easily constructed on a whiteboard.  Starting with a large rectangle, bisect it horizontally in the middle. Then construct the three rooms above the horizontal line and the two large rooms below.  Then erase breaks in each of the walls where indicated to represent the 16 doors.

With practice, it should take less than a minute to draw and easy for the kids to re-construct on their personal whiteboards. 

In any case, it’s not as easy as it looks….

Who Put Tootsie-Rolls in the Snake Cage?

The first Monday after the ski week school vacation was spent in a 4^th grade classroom. Like a number of other teachers in this school, this guy has classroom pets. In this one school, I have encountered: turtles, guinea pigs, rats, mice, fish, large bearded dragon lizards, and various snakes.

The two cages in this classroom each contained one pretty good sized corn snake. Initially, I wasn’t able to see how big they were. They were hiding out under tree bark covers until later afternoon when the classroom warmed. Both had beautiful orange markings. One was about 4’ and the other about a foot shorter.

Just before the end of day bell rang, one of the students came up to ask me: “Who put the Tootsie-Rolls in the snake cage”? After examining the something that DID very much look like about 6” of Tootsie-Rolls along the inside glass, we had an impromptu lesson on what snake poop looks like.

I’m just glad they didn’t ask what it was before it entering the toothy end of the snake as I could only venture that these constrictors eat live meals.

Mr. G…

The schools are out for what is commonly termed “Ski Week Vacation”.  I’m betting there won’t be much skiing as the closest slopes are about 160 miles from here and there is hardly any snow to ski this year. But, last Friday was the last day to pad the paycheck for February this year so I took the 3^rd grade assignment.

I arrived at the school, signed in and picked up the class attendance from the office secretary. As she handed me the form, she said “I need to give you a heads up about one boy in your class.”

This is never a good sign…

“His name is G-----, and he’s a tough little so-n-so. He’s pretty mouthy with all the teachers but sometimes “ok” with subs. He probably won’t do any work; he’ll crawl around on the ground or walk on all fours crab like in the classroom. He might make weird, rude noises without warning. Be firm and you might be ok. If you DO have problems and you can’t take it anymore, just send him to the office with some work and he’ll spend the day with us. Don’t get me wrong, he’s really very smart but almost always out of control.”

“Oh, I almost forgot…He’s also not allowed to use the boy’s bathroom as he’s been known to pee on the walls and defecate on the floors. If he needs to go, send him to the office and we’ll deal with him here.”

With that warning, I’m already tired as I wander out to find the classroom.

The assignment is pretty basic. Some math assessment and spelling tests, reading, and water color artwork followed by an end of the day assembly on the playground. This would have been a pretty easy assignment day if it wasn’t for the unknown “Mr. G” situation.

The morning bell rang, I greeting the kids as they entered.  I was feeling pretty good after taking attendance and “Mr. G” seemed to be missing. That feeling was short lived when “Mr. G” arrived just under the wire to be tardy.

His desk is apart from the rest of the class and closest to the door.  He stood standing just behind his desk chair, two steps away upon entering. He just stood there staring at me, mouth wide open, not moving.

“Have a seat Mr. G. Since you weren’t here for lunch count, are you having the hot lunch or did you bring your own?”

-- Nothing --

“Did you hear me, Mr. G? Hot or cold lunch today?”

-- Nothing, still standing, silent, mouth agape --

“He does that all the time” offered more than one classmate in the class. “We just ignore it.”

Sigh…

About a third of the kids knew all about “Mr. Homework and the bad, bad 5^th grade class” from their older brothers and sisters. Upon request, I retold the story and what I expected of this class so as not to repeat the consequences suffered by the 5^th graders so long ago.

At some point during the story, I noticed that “Mr. G” was now sitting at his desk and listening. No outbursts, no weird mannerisms but laughing with the class at all the expected points during the story.

So far so good…

We get through the math assessment and spelling tests. Surprisingly, even “Mr. G” is doing work. Sloppy work but at least it’s something.  The reading and water color projects don’t interest “Mr. G” much as he’s aimlessly wandering the room.

Escorted back to his desk, I tried to engage him in idle conservation so the rest of the class could continue unmolested. I found out that he has a brother who is in middle school, his dad is an auto mechanic and not surprisingly, he doesn’t much care much for school.

“Mr. G” does like to ride his bike, play with his friends at home, and likes games and puzzles.

Puzzles!

My “bag of tricks” includes a fun, time killer puzzle for those rare occasions where time allotted for class work is longer that the time kids need to complete it. If anyone needs something to occupy his time, “Mr G” is a prime candidate since the alternative is mischief.  Required tools are two different color whiteboard markers and one of those student sized personal white boards.

After showing “Mr. G” how to draw the layout of the puzzle and explained the simple rules, he was quiet for the rest of the time before recess, working on a solution to what looks deceptively simple but is in fact, impossible to solve.

As I roved around the room checking on the rest of the classroom I half expected “Mr. G” to give up and turn to other disruptions in the classroom. That didn’t happen. I surreptitiously checked on “Mr. G” to notice that he was carefully considering advanced approaches as he progressed through the puzzle…he wasn’t ready to give up.

The first recess bell came and all the kids except “Mr. G” exited to the playground. “Mr. G” was still engrossed in the puzzle and was reluctant to go. Since I had yard duty, I had to usher him out the door to join the rest of the class.

His Dad arrived during recess and introduced himself letting me know that he had checked “Mr. G” out at the office for a doctor’s appointment and wouldn’t be back the rest of the day.

With only 5min recess left, he waited until the bell before escorting his son back to the classroom to collect his backpack and jacket.

As I signed out after school, the office secretary gave me a look that begged an answer.

“He didn’t do much work, but at least he didn’t disrupt the class”

Her response: “Let’s count that a success, then” ...as I left the building.

Lie or Truth...

School administrations pretty much frown on teachers taking the leading or trailing days off before long vacation breaks. Teachers also don’t usually give up the short minimum day if they can help it.

President's Week break starts Saturday and today is minimum day at the elementary school. That’s a double hex on getting a sub job for today but 30mins before school started, the call came for a 5^th grade assignment. That told me the vacancy was for a legit reason.

The office told me that the teacher injured his back somehow and is now horizontal for the duration for at least today…and possibility tomorrow.

As per usual, the first thing the kids want to know is: “Where is Mr. L today?”

Knowing that 5^th graders are a bit savvier than younger kids, I offer them a choice:

“What do you want first…the lie or the truth?”

Interestingly, they chose “lie” first so I told them the “tale” of the “Blue Lollipop Agent” before I told them the “truth”.

It turns out the I’m going to have to come up with something more unbelievable than “rare blue lollipops” because almost half of this class still had Valentines Day candy that included …you guessed it…not so rare BLUE Tootsie Roll Pops!  

Charlie?

What do you do in situations where you’re not quite sure if the student you are addressing is a boy or a girl?

“Charlie” is a cute 3^rd grader with chin length blond hair, wearing a stylish long sleeved shirt not tucked in, but over skinny legged jeans. In this school it’s not safe to assume that the name “Charlie” indicates a definite gender.

The face, voice and mannerisms can go either way. This isn’t the first time or even the second  that I’ve run into  situations like this. Having been wrong twice before, I don’t want to make this the third strike.

I’m NOT going embarrass him/her (and more importantly myself) by asking. I’m certainly not going to ask any other kid in class to clue me in so for most of the day, when needed, I just address “Charlie” by name and continue to watch for some deciding factor before making yet another inadvertent faux-pas.

It came just as everyone was lining up for the 1^st recess when two boys in line were fighting over a ball to take out with them. Deciding that neither of these guys should get the prize, took the ball and tossed it to “Charlie” wherein one of the losers said:

“Awww, HE always gets to take the ball out!”

-- Dilemma solved!

Did you hear the one...

...about the substitute teacher that won a Super Bowl ring this weekend?

"Chase Blackburn, a key special teams cog the last time the Giants made it this far, had been cut before the start of the season. So he was back home in Dublin, Ohio, trying to get a job as a substitute teacher. He was in the basement of his house, playing with his two sons, when Giants assistant GM Kevin Abrams called"

Congratulations to Chase and the NY Giants!

From:  Just Another Substitute Teacher

Double Subbed…

I was a bit puzzled when I logged onto the substitute assignment system last night to discover a job offering for today as I already had an assignment for Friday afternoon. I had assumed that the computerized system wouldn’t allow double assignment bookings for the same day.

After yesterday’s fiasco, I checked to see if my previous assignment listing for Friday was still active. It was!

It was then I noted that new assignment was a half day MORNING assignment for BAND at the middle school.

If I took this new morning assignment, I would have about 50mins travel time between schools. That was more than enough time since the two schools were less than two miles from each other. This was the first time I’ve been able to bookend two half day assignments for the same day

It made for an interesting experience. Imagine eighty-two middle school band kids followed by nine elementary SpecEd students in one day!

It WAS a day of contrasts!

Mistakes Were Made…

It’s not unusual to have assignments cancelled before day of the assignment. It’s part of the job and normally not a big deal. My preference is to have cancellations as much in advance as possible so I might have the opportunity to schedule an alternative.

But there are limits to my “understanding index”:

Cancel a week before: AOK

Cancel the day before: A bit disappointed, but still acceptable. Maybe another assignment will show up tonight or tomorrow morning.

Cancel the night before: That’s cutting it a bit close, but there’s really nothing I can do about it.

Cancel after I accept your late morning call, for a job that started an hour ago, where I have rushed getting ready, driven to the school in less than 20min since I got the assignment and THEN cancel?: Well, now I’m pissed.

“Then, why did I get a call to come here today?” I inquired in my calmest voice I can manage at 09:30am this morning.

The school secretary explained that she had already called a different sub come in. She needed to enter the assignment in the computer system but accidentally sent it as  an “open assignment” that automatically put it out for calls. She didn’t know she had screwed up until I walked in the door.

“…Ok, so I’m not working today, but what does that mean for me since I DID accept the assignment. The “mistake” wasn’t mine and I’m here as instructed? Will I be paid for at least part of my time?”  While she sympathized and apologized once more for the mix up, she said there was nothing she could do.

I left the parking lot feeling more than a little pissed. As it happened, the street I was traveling on went directly past the district office. I pulled into the district parking lot to have a chat with the district substitute coordinator lady to escalate my case.

After explaining what happened, she contacted the school and verified my narrative of events this morning. She then checked for any available open assignments for today. Finding none, she asked me to wait while she talked with the payroll office.

“The payroll system isn’t set up to pay by the hour so instead, we’re going pay you today for a “half day” assignment if that’s acceptable.

More than acceptable, I returned home and logged on to the SmartFindExpress substitute assignment system and printed this month's completed assignments showing today’s cancelled botched assignment and today’s completed half-day assignment.

Trust but verify and document… 

Mandated Reporter…

All school district employees, including subs, are designated “mandated reporters”.

I sometimes feel that applying common sense to an incident isn’t worth the risk when criminal and other legal sanctions for failing to report even possible suspected situations are pretty harsh. The obvious situations are clear but sometimes my gut tells me that some situations don’t really warrant reporting but general rule is: “When I doubt, report”

Today was a pretty good day with a fairly large 5^th grade class when one of the girls brought me her library book. Inside the cover was the post-it note:

“If you open this book, we will rape you!”….and it was signed!

First names only but the office staff pretty much had an idea who they were. I’m pretty sure it was just a sick joke since they could not possibly know who the next person to check the book out would be.

I’m kinda saddened that 5^th graders these days even know what “rape” is.

Fast .vs. Slow Roving …

There are two types of “roving sub” assignments. I have just completed one “fast” roving assignment this month and have four more unknown types lined up for Feb. and March.

Since I never know who will be running the roving schedule, I will ask the interviewer if they want me to hold strictly to the schedule (slow) or to send the next teacher as soon as the previous returning teacher releases me (fast).  

The health insurance auditors usually want to be done as quickly as possible (fast) whereas the twice yearly principal/teacher evaluations tend to plod along at the preset, scheduled (slow) pace.

If I have a choice, I prefer the fast roving schedule. Even just a few minutes sliced off each early ended interview adds time to the front end of my lunch period and subtracts time off my end of day release.

In either case, I’ve never had a school require me to stay beyond the end of the last interview.

What’s Worse Than An Early Morning Assignment Call?

…Answer: It’s the early morning cancellation call as my wife will attest.

It’s been a while since I’ve had to rely on the last minute, 05:30am phone calls for substitute teaching assignments to add to a paycheck.

After several years experience, I have managed to assemble a modest network of teachers and school secretaries that I rely upon for pre-assigning my teaching assignments in non-layoff years.

Since before the beginning of this New Year, I had already pre-assigned classes scheduled for about half the school days of January and even a few more lined up for February through April.

I was startled, then to be awakened at 05:30am only to be informed that I wouldn’t be working today. After all, this assignment was arranged back in mid-December and only canceled sometime after midnight. I know because it was still in the assignment queue when I checked the computer just before I went to bed at 11:30pm

So, now it’s 05:30 in the morning and my paranoia won’t let me get back to sleep wondering what I must have done wrong yesterday.

You see, today’s class was the second half of a two day assignment. I had met with the teacher in class yesterday morning before she left. We went over the lesson plans and she verified that I was scheduled for next day also. No pre-warning that she might need to cancel, which would have been ok.

I guess you never know why some things happen the way they do.

Blue Lollipops…

I could have subbed the entire first week of the New Year had I had stamina for Kinders or middle school P.E. classes. Instead, I started the New Year with two days of 4^th graders.

The most common question I get when kids enter the room for the first time is: “Where is Ms/Mr teacher?” This class was no exception

First girl through the door:  “Where is Ms H?”

Me: I’ll answer that question when everyone gets settled, ok?

Earlier in my short career as a substitute teacher, I’d just tell them that I don’t know why their teacher had to be away for the day. Sometimes I DID know, but I didn’t feel that it was my job to give out any details that the teacher might or might not care to share with the students.

Lately, I’ve gotten a bit more creative, especially around this age group of kids (8-10).

Me: Your teacher is not here today because she is on an assignment.

Door girl: Assignment? What’s that?

Me: It is supposed to be a secret, but your teacher is a CIA agent and “teacher” is just her undercover job. She was sent out on an important mission for today and tomorrow!

Random Kid: What?

Me: It’s true! She’s a secret agent for the CIA. That stands for “Candy Interception Agency”. Her secret mission is to track down and stop the smuggling of illegal “blue lollipops” into the country. She had a tip that a giant box of them was coming this morning at the airport and had to go investigate.

At this point, they know (at least I hope so) that I was having a bit of fun but they seemed interested in the “yarn”.

Random Kid: But lollipops aren’t illegal! We have them lots of times.

Me: Ahhh. But were any of them BLUE?

The room went quiet and I could almost hear them thinking about colors. Ummm,  green, yellow, red, orange …blue?

Confident Kid: But, I’ve had blue ones before!

Me: Really? What flavor was it?

NowNotSoConfident Kid: Ummmmm…

Me: See! Think about it. What flavor IS blue? Very few people have had a blue lollipop because they are illegal in the United States.

“While you think that over, let’s get to work. The first item on the lesson plan is a practice spelling test. Get a piece of binder paper and number it from 1-20 with your name at the top…”.

Now, the standard procedure for spelling tests in elementary school is for the teacher to:

1.       Clearly pronounce the word

2.       Use the word in a sentence

3.       Repeat the word.

Of course all the sentences used for this spelling test were going to have to incorporate the phrase “blue lollipop” somehow. When I occasionally failed to come up with a sentence with “blue lollipop”, one or more of the kids suggested one for me.

…now that I think about it, what flavor IS blue?

Happy New Year - 2012!

Here's hoping for some change for the better on the start of this new year!

Piggy Wants a Cookie

School is out for the rest of 2011. Today's in class movie is about a hungry pig...enjoy!

Substitute Teacher Book Idea?

I recently received an email:

 “…I was thinking of writing a book on what it's really like to be a substitute teacher… Would you be willing to contribute stories- the good, bad, and ugly?”

I responded with the links to a few of my more “memorable” experiences.

That got me wondering about readers of my blog. Are there any of my posts you feel would be useful for this book?

My personal subbing experience is in relatively low key schools here in San Jose, Calif. I have heard that subbing in some of the tougher intercity schools elsewhere might be a bit more “interesting”.

Have you come across any "tales of the substitute teacher" that might be of interest for this budding author? If so, use the comments section to list your favorite/interesting true tales of the substitute teacher experience.

Links to relevant individual blog posts (mine or others) are encouraged. Links to non-related material will not be displayed.

Fake Credentials...

 

I occasionally get email requests to advertise essay and thesis writing services to "help" you get that coveted advanced degree but never anything this blatant:

"...Buy fake/novelty university diplomas and degrees online.
We design our Degree or Diploma Certificates and Transcripts to look 99.99% identical to world famous originals including identical security grade transcript paper, identical water markings, raised-ink crests, embossed seals, correct card stock weight (60-100lb depending upon institution specifications). Most post-secondary institutions available."

If  you ARE interested in "buying" one of these degrees, don't contact me. I'm not gonna help you. Talk to the U.S. Treasury Dept about fake "novelty" $20 bills that are 99.99% authentic and see how far that gets ya.

P.S: don't contact me about any thesis writing services either. 

Tryptophan Turkeys...

There are only three school weeks between the Thanksgiving break and Christmas break. I had only three half-day assignments last week.

Half day assignments are usually a breeze. There usually isn’t enough time for the 2^nd graders to wind up to total craziness before I lose it altogether. By the time they are, it’s over and I go home.

I don’t think I could have survived any more than the assigned three hours in any one of these classrooms. I was worn out and dead tired after each assignment.

The funny thing is that these were classes I’ve had before. They were all classes I’ve had for full day assignments. Second graders are polite, fun, bright, inquisitive and follow directions.

It must be the overdoses of tryptophan turkey that turned me into a tired crotchety old man and the kids to hyper-excited insanity.

Let’s try middle school tomorrow and see if I can make it through a full day in Science class.

The Word Problem Committee…

Third grade math text books must be written by “socially correct (SC)” committees without regard for clarity. That’s the only possible explanation I can fathom when you come across examples like problems #2 & #3 below:

(click to enlarge)

 First draft: There are 28 people camping for the night and they share 7 tents. How many people slept in each tent? (Answer: 4)

SC Member #1: Since this is for 3^rd graders, shouldn’t we somehow make it relevant and inclusive for them?

SC Member #2: Ok, sure. How ‘bout this:

There are 28 students camping for the night and they share 7 tents. How many students sleep in each tent? (Answer: 4)

SC Safety Officer: Hummm, 28 unsupervised kids in the woods at night? I don’t think that sends the correct message. Remember these are 3^rd graders and that might give them the wrong idea about being safe.

SC Member #1: Ok, Ok…Let’s do this:

There are 28 students and their chaperones camping for the night and they share 7 tents. How many people sleep in each tent? (Answer: 4)

SC Member #2: Wait a minute, doesn’t that change the answer? I mean if each tent has 4 kids and one chaperone, that makes 5 people x 7 tents = 35 people not 28! Right?

SC Member #1:Oh! Good catch. Let’s change the answer to ‘5’.

SC Member #2: I’m not sure that’s the best thing. Everyone knows that 3^rd graders don’t really “read the words” in word problems. They tend to automatically take the numbers they see in the problem and divide: 28 divided by 7 = 4 as an answer.

SC Member #1: Well technically, it could be read “28….studentsandchaperones” if you read it really, really fast and that means that the “28 people” includes all the students AND chaperones together, right? Maybe we could annotate the Teacher’s Edition (TE)  reference to make the following notation:

Note to teacher: There are 28, not 35, total people out in the woods that night. If you misinterpret the wording at this crucial point in the word problem sequence and get an answer of ‘5’ instead of ‘4’, you’re screwed when you attempt to answer the next question since we haven’t gotten to fractions yet.

      Sincerely, The Socially Correct (if not necessarily grammar literate) Committee

SC Safety Officer: What are the chances that the teacher will be out for the day and the substitute teacher doesn’t have the TE Math book with the “clarification notice”. That could be a problem!

SC Member #2:  Let’s not do the “Note to teacher” notice. It makes us look incompetent not being able to write a simple 3^rd grade math problem. Besides, the teachers will figure it out on their own if we give them the correct answers to work backward from.

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear reader: For the next one, you’re on your own as to how they came up with this one. I couldn't see any reference as to how many total booths there are.

 

The indicated answer is"10".  That would mean 10_rows x 10_booths x 100 people = 10 THOUSAND people in the balcony??.

Crapples...

It might not seem like it judging by the drop off in new blog postings lately but I HAVE been busy with subbing assignments. 

My last assignment was a three day assignment with 3^rd graders at the newest school in the district. I’ve managed to only get assignments here once or twice until this year when I picked up five assignments and had to turn down three more due to personal conflicts.

To emphasize just how new this school is, look no further than the men’s restroom. No other school in the district has two urinals AND two stalled toilets. All other schools in this district are “single service”, which makes the timing at the end of lunch break an Olympic class race for male employees.

This school, being the newest, has the latest in high tech gear including document cameras, SmartBoards and high end Apple computers in every classroom.

It was the Apple computer that unexpectedly shut down just before class began on the third day of my assignment making the SmartBoard an instant Dumb&DeafBoard. I attempted to restart the computer, but I had problem with this particular version of Crapple Computer.

It had no “ON” button. In fact, I couldn’t even FIND the computer. I started with the big screen monitor and followed all the cables hoping to find anything that looked like a computer without success. Class was starting and I didn’t have any more time to futz around with it.

Fortunately the DocCamera still worked and using the Teachers Editions and practice books, we plowed away with the lessons as best we could without the fancy popup graphics and animation planned lessons.

After class, I resumed my search for the hidden Crapple computer. Again not finding one, I turned my attention to the big screen monitor. Again, finding NO controls on the front, bottom or top or sides, I moved around the table to the back. After moving a pile of books and folders, I saw it. On the lower left side BEHIND the monitor there was a single power button. Evidentially the big screen monitor WAS also the all-in-one computer. Have I already mentioned I’m not fond of Apple computers?  

This experience hasn’t altered my opinion one bit.

Free book drawing - Michael Vey

The publisher sent me three copies for review.

For a chance in this free drawing for your own free hardcover copy of Richard Paul Evans book, "Michael Vey: The Prisoner of Cell 25" just use the comment section and include a name and email address (will not be displayed publicly) or email your entry to KauaiMark@gmail.com on or before Monday, November 14, 2011.






The storyline is targeted for young adults, so with that in mind I read the book this last week and found it fast paced, a pretty good story line and an easy read. At 325 pages, it is bit short but as this is the first in the "Michael Vey" adventures, it leaves some unresolved issues "to be continued" in the next book(s) of the series. It reminded me a combination of those short lived TV series "Heroes" and "Kyle XY".

The main "hero", Michael Vey, is your typical 14yr old teenager with the usual teenage problems and some unusual abilities. Michael has a secret ability to control electricity and uses it as a defense mechanism to the chagrin of some teenage bullies. Unfortunately, demonstrating that ability draws the attention of some pretty bad people who know more about Michael and others like him.

Because I'm pretty far removed from the target audience I thought a better review from an actual "young adult" would be more appropriate at this point. I gave one copy of the book to the daughter of some good friends of ours.

Jillian is 14yrs old and in the 9th grade. According to her parents she is an avid book reader.

Michael Vey 
Prisoner of Cell 25   

            Whether you like this book or not depends on how well you notice unique details about it. From looking at the basic plot, you see a typical fiction book these days. The main character is discovered, someone needs to be saved by the main character, and then the happy ending. But when looking at the small details of the plot like the characters, settings, and dangerous and risky situations you notice new exciting detail on every page. The author throws you curveballs every chapter and it's exciting all the way to the last page.    

 --- Jillian

Drawing entries to date: 8 (...odds are good!)
...and the winner is: Dustin in Boaz, Alabama!!  Congratulations!

Band & Choir…

The substitute teacher system called late last night offering me a ½ day assignment for Band & Choir class. I don’t know how to play any musical instruments, nor do I know anything about singing.

But, I didn’t know anything about art earlier this year, so I assumed that the teacher wouldn’t expect me to actually “teach” either band or singing.

The lesson plan called for showing a video about practice and technique staring featuring Wynton Marsalis & Yo-Yo Ma. The kids were to write 20 facts or comments about the video with the admonition that a comment like: “There was a guy talking” would NOT be acceptable.

What I DIDN’T expect was SIZE of the classes. The middle school attendance sheets can accommodate 30 names per page. If I have a class with two attendance pages, it’s a big class.

First period had 41 students (a page and a half) but it was the second period when I saw the hoards arriving that I noticed the three full pages listing 85 students!

I did a quick count to see if I had 85 bodies, as I knew that calling out all those names would take up most of the available class time. I came up 4 short.

Asking who was missing didn’t work as I don’t think any one student knew ALL the names of the people in the class. I had one of the students call the attendance and identify the missing while I set up and began the video lesson.

Band kids tend to be the more "reliable side" kind so my day went pretty well for "trying something new". Someone suggested that my next "outside the comfort zone" substituting assignment might be girls P.E.

...I think not.

Book – 101 Ways to Bug Your Parents…

I took the 4^th grade class to check out books from the school library. Everyone except one boy seemed to making progress in selecting books for the week.

Me: Have you found a book yet?

Bored Boy: No, I don’t know what to get.

Me: What kind of books do you like to read?

Bored Boy: I don’t know.

Me: Mysteries, adventure, animals…?   

Bored Boy: Nah, no, ummm nuh-uh. I don’t think I want a book.

He then went to sit out for the rest of library time.

Since I had twenty-eight other kids to monitor, I turned over the assignment of “book finding” to two 6^th grade girls working as librarian assistants, with the instructions to locate a book a boy his age might like to read and bring it to me. I didn’t really care if they were successful. I had nothing to lose.

The girls returned just as I was rounding up the kids to return to class. They couldn’t have chosen better. I congratulated them on their excellent find and handed “bored boy” his book choice.

Lee Warder's book: 101 Ways To Bug Your Parents

Bored Boy: I don’t think I like this book.

Me: Trust me. YOU will.

Back in class, the lesson plan called for 20mins of silent reading (SSR). This is one of my favorite times in that I get to lead by example, relaxing and reading whatever book I’m currently into.

Bored boy was the only one who hadn’t started when I caught his attention and pantomimed, with my hands, opening and closing a book while giving him “THE LOOK”. He started reading.

Every couple of minutes, I’d check on the class and in particular “Bored Boy”. Amazingly, Bored Boy was still reading. After a while, I heard him giggle a couple of times, saw him share a page with the kid next to him.

After a while, I glanced up and saw that Bored Boy and two boys on each side of him were reading 101-ways, pointing at different pages and trying not to draw my attention.

I pretended to not notice and at the end of SSR. Bored Boy couldn’t help himself and came up to show me several “things” they found that were funny and “he was going to try it at home”.

With a wink, my final comment at the end of the day was, “Remember now, you didn’t get that book from me, RIGHT?”

Bottled Water Dilemma…

I never understood the bottled water craze. Maybe that’s because it didn’t really exist for the first half of my lifetime. As kids, we even drank from the garden hose and miraculously not one of us neighborhood kids died from drinking it.

Given that background, I could never justify paying $2/bottle for “better water” in preference to the stuff that was delivered to the house via city plumbing for pennies per gallon.  

But that’s not the point of this post. Every kid in every class I’ve been to seems to have one of those 16oz clear plastic bottles on the desk that originally contained French, Alpine or some such glacially pure “better water". The 3^rd grade class I had yesterday is no exception.

I had recess duty with the 3^rd graders when one of my half pint students approaches to ask if I will open the classroom so she could fill her water bottle from the drinking fountain in the classroom.

“I’m real hot and thirsty!”

The classroom is only 50-60 feet away, but I’m reluctant to cede her request when there was a perfectly good drinking fountain right behind her as I pointed out.

“Oh, I can’t.  My mom only allows me to drink bottled water!”

I could have pointed out that the plumbing to the OUTSIDE water fountain was the same as the one INSIDE the classroom and therefore had the same water. Also, refilling the bottle after she had already consumed the “better water” didn’t really make it "bottled water" any longer. Actually, it was probably worse depending how many times I suspect that same bottle has been refilled over the course of several classroom days.

Instead, I opted to open the classroom so she could fill her bottle and saved myself the panic that might ensue if the rest of the class (…and maybe the rest of the school?) found out.

It will just have to be our little secret that drinking fountains in the school don’t deliver “better water” than what kids 50yrs ago consumed and that drinking it won’t kill you!

The First Answer is Free…

I always get a positive response when handing out quiz and test materials with the standard promise:

“I’ll always give you the first answer for free!”

That always seems to accelerate the process of getting tables cleared, a pencil out and their undivided attention toward the front of the room in record time.

With dramatic pause and thirty pencils poised to snag a freebie answer, I direct their attention to the top of the page where the first question is:  

NAME________________

"The first answer is: your name"

Varied responses:

Groan!

…Ha, Ha, I get it, Good one!

…And let me guess, the answer to the 2^nd question is: Date?
...I don’t get it! (…from slow on the uptake group still looking at QUESTION #1)

Steve Jobs (1955 - 2011)

Rest in peace Steve...

View more videos at: http://nbcbayarea.com.

Chain Gang Elementary...

One important item I carry in my subbing bag is a book to read at break, lunch and even in the classroom when the kids are doing “silent reading time”. It’s good to set an example in the classroom. 

I recently received a book in the mail detailing the “fictional” tale of an idealistic newsletter writer who gets drafted as the Parent Teacher Organization (PTO) president at his son's elementary school.

The opening paragraph hints that his idealism isn’t going to prevail…

“…In the twelfth year of his marriage, sixteen months before the shooting, twenty-one shopping days until Christmas, and eight hours before he reckoned for the tenth time that his wife didn’t love him, Richard Gray met a woman who would have roughly the same effect on his life a tornado has on a trailer park.”

I have to admit that I had a hard time reading the book. Not because of the fast paced and well written storyline but the cover art seemed to draw more than a few double takes from fellow educators passing through the teachers' lounge.

Save some money, the awkward stare and get the Kindle version on Amazon...

Roving Substitute Essentials…

My bag of “Substitute Teacher Essentials” or “Bag of Tricks (BOT)”, as some subs call it, weighs about 12lbs. I only have to lug it once from the car to the classroom and then back again at the end of the day.

Evidentially, the substitute call system has a hard time finding takers for the generic unstated “Vacancy” assignment. In this district, “vacancy” is synonymous for the word “roving sub”. After only one month into this New Year, I’ve already had two roving assignments with six future assignments on the books.

Roving, as opposed to aimless wandering, is simply covering for teachers that have scheduled meetings with school functionaries during school hours. It could be as few as four teachers to as many as eighteen in a single day. It’s an easy assignment but not very exciting for those who sub in hopes of gaining experience for that hopeful full time teacher position…(of which I’m not one)

Roving, obviously, requires a lot of walking around the campus from classroom to classroom. That’s when carrying that bag becomes a real burden, literally! There is also the real possibility that I could forget which classroom I left it in.

Now, when I have a “roving” assignment, the BOT stays in the car. I take only my “roving substitute essentials” which are: reading glasses, a book to read during break time, a whistle, sun glasses and a hat. You’ll need the whistle, sunglasses and hat because frequently the teacher you are covering for has the class outside at recess or doing P.E.

If you are blessed with good eyesight and hair follicle genes, you might be able to trim your list to just the remaining three essentials.

Math: Ten More, Ten Less

I subbed three 1^st grade classes at the same school the first week of the new school year. The kids are starting to learn the concept of words problems and number placement in Math.

Their workbook pages were concentrating on organizing number groups of adding and subtraction by 10’s in the form: “What’s 10 more? What’s 10 less? What’s 3 more? What’s 1 less”…etc

Skipping the coloring questions #6 & #8, Take a couple of seconds and answer problems 4, 5 and 7.

(click to enlarge)

 Did you get 24, 14 and 34?

Imagine my confusion when first two kids I asked replied with: 22, 12 and 32. It was then I knew something was wrong.

The kids dutifully followed the first instruction by counting each letter in the picture where I “saw” two rows of 10 with four extra.

Did the publishers intentionally try to make this a trick question or was it a screw up in the art department that depicted the first two rows of NINE letters and one row of four?

You can vote your opinion in the comments section.

Air Swimmers

These would be great in the classroom for some downtime entertainment!

Don’t Panic…

My job assignment starts exactly 30mins before the kids enter the room. Most of that time is used to review the lesson plans, locate all the material on the plan and try to make sure that I know how to work all of the in-classroom “technology”.

This doesn’t portend a good start to my day with 5^th graders when I don’t know what the definition of “shortly” means.

Also, I don’t want “access”. All I desire is the printed hard copy, please. 

London school seeks bouncers to ‘cover’ kids

Just what I need...more competition:

London school seeks bouncers to ‘cover’ kids

(Of course I jest as I try out "bloggers" share feature) 

What a Difference a Year Makes...

Last year’s change over to the new substitute call system seems to have changed without notice. For the first time, I was able to go online and view eight new available assignments going out as far as Feb/2012.

I took them all…

Trying Hard to Remember…

I’ve completed two of three assignments in 1st grade this week. If tomorrow is anything like Monday and Wednesday, I’ll be glad when 3:00pm rolls around. I’m trying to remember to tell myself that these guys are just 10 days out of Kindergarten and not yet in “school mode”.

All the 1st grade teachers are on campus this week doing individual student assessments while substitute teachers are have the rest of the class for the day. My daily report for Monday listed two names that pretty much used up 85% of my voice, energy and fortitude.

Meeting with the teacher at the end of the day, she said she was not surprised they didn’t behave any better for me than they do for her.

Wednesday’s class was more of the same with twice the number unfocused still-stuck-in-kinder-mode tykes. The only calm moment realized was during the reading of the next two chapters of  “Flat Stanley”. Their teacher wasn’t surprised by her class behavior report either!