Last Tuesday’s 1st grade lesson plan included reading "Substitute Teacher Plans" to the kids.
From the Amazon review section:
“…A too-tired teacher takes a personal day after carefully making plans for her substitute and the class, and for herself during her time off. In her weariness, Miss Huff inadvertently reverses the activities lists, to everyone's delight. As the children and the sub go off to ride a roller coaster, skydive, build a huge sand castle, and so on, the teacher happily settles down to read, write, practice math by paying her bills, etc. … When Miss Huff returns the following day, she finds a thank-you note from her stand-in. The principal arrives asking for an explanation and is promptly invited to join Miss Huff and her class to take acrobatic flight training…”
Now the kids really liked it and all bought the story line but I think the there are some serious questions to be answered here:
Item 1: Miss Huff CLAIMS to be too tired, yet she was planning to ride roller coasters, do skydiving, skiing, scuba diving, visit the circus AND build sand castles at the beach. ALL IN ONE DAY! Does this sound like a “too tired” teacher to you? I think not!
Item 2: Miss Huff mixes up the lists and yet doesn’t realize it the entire day. Is Miss Huff in that much of a chemical fog that she “forgot” all that fun stuff? Me thinks she’s been “huffing” the glue sticks a bit much.
Item 3: Amazingly Miss Huff’s sub, Mrs. Martin, doesn’t even question her very odd lesson plan for teaching the kids. She just calls the office to get an instantly available school bus to cart 20 kids off campus without even ONE permission slip!
Item 4: Just where does Mrs. Martin GET all the MONEY for tickets to the circus, scuba diving rental, sky diving lessons and lift tickets to ski for 20 kids? Substitute teacher’s pay rate? School has loads of extra cash? A mystery it is!
Item 5: When the principal Mr. Johnson confronts Miss Huff and Mrs. Martin the next day, do they get the bums rush out the door? NO! Miss Huff arranges for her class AND Principal Johnson to go take acrobatic flight training!
Clearly these people are all in cahoots, embezzling school district funds to cover for a deranged teacher, an underpaid substitute teacher and an unscrupulous principal who may or may not have lecherous intentions toward his favorite chemically dependent 1st grade teacher.
Now where’s that number for “60 Minutes”…