Five Year Old Develops Teleportation Technology….

Since the job assignments from the two nearest districts seemed to have fallen off since the first of the year, I accepted this south county Kindergarten assignment of 18 kids.

This is only the fourth time I’ve subbed in this district since I started last Sept.

The usual assignment reporting time is 30 minutes before the students are supposed to show up. This, supposedly, gives the substitute teacher time to get situated with the room and go over the lesson plan before the kids show up.

So I was surprised that at my assigned 07:15am arrival time that the lesson plans stated “The kids will wander in from 07:20am until about 07:30"! And sure enough, before I had my coat off, the first two munchkins came stomping in the door. No prep time today!

One of the “big deal” activities of Kindergarten is “sharing day”. So it was no surprise when Rebecca walked in announcing that she had brought in a trophy and a 3” diameter silver medal on a red, white and blue ribbon to share.

After she shared her awards for dance with the class, I suggested she put the trophy and medal in her cubby box so it wouldn’t get broken during class. After some protesting, she complied and the class resumed.

A short while later, while reading them a story, I look over to see that Rebecca and another kid aren’t listening but are having a “tug-o-war” with something.

It’s the trophy! I never saw when/how she had retrieved it from her cubby.

I took it and placed it on the teacher’s desk and told her that she could have it at the end of the day.

Some Kinders can REALLY give you some evil looks.

A short while later during another assignment, I look over and there is a red, white and blue ribbon streaming out both sides of Rebecca’s mouth. In response to my inquiry, Rebecca extracts the big, now slimy, silver medal from her mouth to announce that “My Mother said I have to keep it with me ALL DAY!”

Again, I had missed when she had gotten up to get the medal from her cubby. I assure her that it’s “ok” and I’ll keep it safe with the trophy.

Lifting the medal from her by the ribbon end, I placed it with the trophy on the teacher’s desk. I periodically check the rest of the period to make sure they haven’t disappeared.

We make it to lunch time when I send the kids off to eat. Rebecca exits the class sans medal and trophy.

I finish my lunch return to the class in time to greet “my returning kids” from lunch recess.

Rebecca walks in carrying the trophy AND wearing the medal around her neck!

My only explanation, at this point, is that NASA should recruit this kid for future assignment because apparently she has developed the Star Trek equivalent of a transporter machine!

...Either that or I’m getting too old and slow for these kids.