The last two days I’ve been in Kindergarten. These are my first Kinder assignments in about eight months.
What I forgot…
1. They constantly tattle like little machine guns.
2. They can’t remember directions beyond the first two words.
Instructions: “Color the tree brown and the leaves green…” is executed as multi hued flora of Technicolor wonders, only some of which ends up with brown trees and green leaves.
3. They cry if you say “No”
4. That repeating the mantra “Print your name at the top of the paper” works for only 30% of the class. The rest need you to point your finger at where the “top of the paper” is and wait while they print the name.
5. That sitting still “Criss-cross, apple sauce with zip locked lips” isn’t achievable for more than 5 seconds.
6. That you MUST, MUST make sure each kinder gets an EQUAL amount of snack going out to recess. …And you better not run out of snack before the last kid reaches the door.
7. They can’t read or write words longer than four letters, so Mr. HOMEWORK is powerless to threaten assigning the extra homework essay if they act up.
8. They are short. You aren’t. That means you need a tune-up at the chiropractor tomorrow.
And last…to carry this list the next time the automated sub system calls for a Kinder assignment.
…Did I forget anything? If I did, leave a comment and I’ll add it to the list later.
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