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Friday, May 27, 2005

Bathroom Olympics …

I knew Karma was coming my way for how easy I had it with the last class. I just didn’t think it would find me so soon.

This was a 3rd grade class, short ½ day assignment (Teacher Friday afternoon getaway before the three day weekend? Hmmmm….)

The kids arrived back from lunch recess smelling blood in the water. “Ohh Boy! A sub!”

The requests drinks of water and“I gotta GO! REAL BAD!" started almost immediately and kept coming.

They just came back from lunch recess so I turned all the requests down just to get something started, but the requests didn’t stop. One boy put on a pretty convincing show of an impending flood if I didn’t relent. I finally compromised with one proviso.

“You can go if you can get back in less than two minutes.”

I have a stopwatch feature on my watch and dramatically started it hoping that the threat of being timed would eliminate any dilly-dallying outside the classroom.

Imagine my surprise when the boy boomed back into the classroom out of breath asking for his time. Stopwatch indicated 01:52s.

I’m thinking, “Ok, I guess that worked!”

New hand rose. Same request, different boy, same convincing show. He’s back in just under 01:45s

Next up is a girl who’s out and back in under 01:30s

OMG! I’ve inadvertently created the “Bathroom Olympics”

I ended the competition after one kid claimed he did his business in under 0:45s

The end of class bell didn’t come soon enough for me. These kids were a handful. As the kids filed out to start their long weekend, they all “high-fived” me in a “good-bye” salute.

It was only after the “00:45s wonder kid” left that it dawned on me that I needed some serious hand sanitizer…RIGHT NOW!

…I’m pretty slow on the uptake, aren’t I?

1 comment:

leesepea said...


That's hilarious!

I make kids sign out and take the pass. If there isn't already a sign out sheet and a pass in the room, I put my own out - a clipboard with a pencil attatched and a print out with lines that says "Name, Time In, Time Out" and a CDR-W disc gone bad with "MS. D'S HALL PASS" scrawled on both sides in Sharpie, attatched to a braid of yarn so kids can actually wear it around their neck.

It usually works out one of two ways:

Little kids love the novelty of getting to wear my "special" hall pass, and all of them want to go at once.

Intermediate kids roll their eyes and are embarrassed to wear it because they are simply too cool to be seen with something huge and shiny dangling around from the neck, so after one kid goes, the rest are kind of turned off to the idea.

They have to at least wear it out the door, by the way. They can (and I'm sure do) take it off the minute they step foot outside, lest they run into one of their friends in the hallway.

The other good thing is that it limits them; I mean, there's only one pass, so only one person can be out at a time.

And it helps me keep track of who's where; if I look on the counter and don't see my shiny disc, I can check the sheet to see what time a kid left and call the office if the kid's been gone for a suspiciously long amount of time. Plus, I can leave a copy of it for the teacher, so they can see which kids are frequent restroom users and which kids are just trying to get out of class.


Good luck to you and your future Olympians!