The Word Problem Committee…

Third grade math text books must be written by “socially correct (SC)” committees without regard for clarity. That’s the only possible explanation I can fathom when you come across examples like problems #2 & #3 below:

(click to enlarge)

 First draft: There are 28 people camping for the night and they share 7 tents. How many people slept in each tent? (Answer: 4)

SC Member #1: Since this is for 3^rd graders, shouldn’t we somehow make it relevant and inclusive for them?

SC Member #2: Ok, sure. How ‘bout this:

There are 28 students camping for the night and they share 7 tents. How many students sleep in each tent? (Answer: 4)

SC Safety Officer: Hummm, 28 unsupervised kids in the woods at night? I don’t think that sends the correct message. Remember these are 3^rd graders and that might give them the wrong idea about being safe.

SC Member #1: Ok, Ok…Let’s do this:

There are 28 students and their chaperones camping for the night and they share 7 tents. How many people sleep in each tent? (Answer: 4)

SC Member #2: Wait a minute, doesn’t that change the answer? I mean if each tent has 4 kids and one chaperone, that makes 5 people x 7 tents = 35 people not 28! Right?

SC Member #1:Oh! Good catch. Let’s change the answer to ‘5’.

SC Member #2: I’m not sure that’s the best thing. Everyone knows that 3^rd graders don’t really “read the words” in word problems. They tend to automatically take the numbers they see in the problem and divide: 28 divided by 7 = 4 as an answer.

SC Member #1: Well technically, it could be read “28….studentsandchaperones” if you read it really, really fast and that means that the “28 people” includes all the students AND chaperones together, right? Maybe we could annotate the Teacher’s Edition (TE)  reference to make the following notation:

Note to teacher: There are 28, not 35, total people out in the woods that night. If you misinterpret the wording at this crucial point in the word problem sequence and get an answer of ‘5’ instead of ‘4’, you’re screwed when you attempt to answer the next question since we haven’t gotten to fractions yet.

      Sincerely, The Socially Correct (if not necessarily grammar literate) Committee

SC Safety Officer: What are the chances that the teacher will be out for the day and the substitute teacher doesn’t have the TE Math book with the “clarification notice”. That could be a problem!

SC Member #2:  Let’s not do the “Note to teacher” notice. It makes us look incompetent not being able to write a simple 3^rd grade math problem. Besides, the teachers will figure it out on their own if we give them the correct answers to work backward from.

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear reader: For the next one, you’re on your own as to how they came up with this one. I couldn't see any reference as to how many total booths there are.

 

The indicated answer is"10".  That would mean 10_rows x 10_booths x 100 people = 10 THOUSAND people in the balcony??.

Crapples...

It might not seem like it judging by the drop off in new blog postings lately but I HAVE been busy with subbing assignments. 

My last assignment was a three day assignment with 3^rd graders at the newest school in the district. I’ve managed to only get assignments here once or twice until this year when I picked up five assignments and had to turn down three more due to personal conflicts.

To emphasize just how new this school is, look no further than the men’s restroom. No other school in the district has two urinals AND two stalled toilets. All other schools in this district are “single service”, which makes the timing at the end of lunch break an Olympic class race for male employees.

This school, being the newest, has the latest in high tech gear including document cameras, SmartBoards and high end Apple computers in every classroom.

It was the Apple computer that unexpectedly shut down just before class began on the third day of my assignment making the SmartBoard an instant Dumb&DeafBoard. I attempted to restart the computer, but I had problem with this particular version of Crapple Computer.

It had no “ON” button. In fact, I couldn’t even FIND the computer. I started with the big screen monitor and followed all the cables hoping to find anything that looked like a computer without success. Class was starting and I didn’t have any more time to futz around with it.

Fortunately the DocCamera still worked and using the Teachers Editions and practice books, we plowed away with the lessons as best we could without the fancy popup graphics and animation planned lessons.

After class, I resumed my search for the hidden Crapple computer. Again not finding one, I turned my attention to the big screen monitor. Again, finding NO controls on the front, bottom or top or sides, I moved around the table to the back. After moving a pile of books and folders, I saw it. On the lower left side BEHIND the monitor there was a single power button. Evidentially the big screen monitor WAS also the all-in-one computer. Have I already mentioned I’m not fond of Apple computers?  

This experience hasn’t altered my opinion one bit.

Free book drawing - Michael Vey

The publisher sent me three copies for review.

For a chance in this free drawing for your own free hardcover copy of Richard Paul Evans book, "Michael Vey: The Prisoner of Cell 25" just use the comment section and include a name and email address (will not be displayed publicly) or email your entry to KauaiMark@gmail.com on or before Monday, November 14, 2011.






The storyline is targeted for young adults, so with that in mind I read the book this last week and found it fast paced, a pretty good story line and an easy read. At 325 pages, it is bit short but as this is the first in the "Michael Vey" adventures, it leaves some unresolved issues "to be continued" in the next book(s) of the series. It reminded me a combination of those short lived TV series "Heroes" and "Kyle XY".

The main "hero", Michael Vey, is your typical 14yr old teenager with the usual teenage problems and some unusual abilities. Michael has a secret ability to control electricity and uses it as a defense mechanism to the chagrin of some teenage bullies. Unfortunately, demonstrating that ability draws the attention of some pretty bad people who know more about Michael and others like him.

Because I'm pretty far removed from the target audience I thought a better review from an actual "young adult" would be more appropriate at this point. I gave one copy of the book to the daughter of some good friends of ours.

Jillian is 14yrs old and in the 9th grade. According to her parents she is an avid book reader.

Michael Vey 
Prisoner of Cell 25   

            Whether you like this book or not depends on how well you notice unique details about it. From looking at the basic plot, you see a typical fiction book these days. The main character is discovered, someone needs to be saved by the main character, and then the happy ending. But when looking at the small details of the plot like the characters, settings, and dangerous and risky situations you notice new exciting detail on every page. The author throws you curveballs every chapter and it's exciting all the way to the last page.    

 --- Jillian

Drawing entries to date: 8 (...odds are good!)
...and the winner is: Dustin in Boaz, Alabama!!  Congratulations!

Band & Choir…

The substitute teacher system called late last night offering me a ½ day assignment for Band & Choir class. I don’t know how to play any musical instruments, nor do I know anything about singing.

But, I didn’t know anything about art earlier this year, so I assumed that the teacher wouldn’t expect me to actually “teach” either band or singing.

The lesson plan called for showing a video about practice and technique staring featuring Wynton Marsalis & Yo-Yo Ma. The kids were to write 20 facts or comments about the video with the admonition that a comment like: “There was a guy talking” would NOT be acceptable.

What I DIDN’T expect was SIZE of the classes. The middle school attendance sheets can accommodate 30 names per page. If I have a class with two attendance pages, it’s a big class.

First period had 41 students (a page and a half) but it was the second period when I saw the hoards arriving that I noticed the three full pages listing 85 students!

I did a quick count to see if I had 85 bodies, as I knew that calling out all those names would take up most of the available class time. I came up 4 short.

Asking who was missing didn’t work as I don’t think any one student knew ALL the names of the people in the class. I had one of the students call the attendance and identify the missing while I set up and began the video lesson.

Band kids tend to be the more "reliable side" kind so my day went pretty well for "trying something new". Someone suggested that my next "outside the comfort zone" substituting assignment might be girls P.E.

...I think not.

Book – 101 Ways to Bug Your Parents…

I took the 4^th grade class to check out books from the school library. Everyone except one boy seemed to making progress in selecting books for the week.

Me: Have you found a book yet?

Bored Boy: No, I don’t know what to get.

Me: What kind of books do you like to read?

Bored Boy: I don’t know.

Me: Mysteries, adventure, animals…?   

Bored Boy: Nah, no, ummm nuh-uh. I don’t think I want a book.

He then went to sit out for the rest of library time.

Since I had twenty-eight other kids to monitor, I turned over the assignment of “book finding” to two 6^th grade girls working as librarian assistants, with the instructions to locate a book a boy his age might like to read and bring it to me. I didn’t really care if they were successful. I had nothing to lose.

The girls returned just as I was rounding up the kids to return to class. They couldn’t have chosen better. I congratulated them on their excellent find and handed “bored boy” his book choice.

Lee Warder's book: 101 Ways To Bug Your Parents

Bored Boy: I don’t think I like this book.

Me: Trust me. YOU will.

Back in class, the lesson plan called for 20mins of silent reading (SSR). This is one of my favorite times in that I get to lead by example, relaxing and reading whatever book I’m currently into.

Bored boy was the only one who hadn’t started when I caught his attention and pantomimed, with my hands, opening and closing a book while giving him “THE LOOK”. He started reading.

Every couple of minutes, I’d check on the class and in particular “Bored Boy”. Amazingly, Bored Boy was still reading. After a while, I heard him giggle a couple of times, saw him share a page with the kid next to him.

After a while, I glanced up and saw that Bored Boy and two boys on each side of him were reading 101-ways, pointing at different pages and trying not to draw my attention.

I pretended to not notice and at the end of SSR. Bored Boy couldn’t help himself and came up to show me several “things” they found that were funny and “he was going to try it at home”.

With a wink, my final comment at the end of the day was, “Remember now, you didn’t get that book from me, RIGHT?”

Bottled Water Dilemma…

I never understood the bottled water craze. Maybe that’s because it didn’t really exist for the first half of my lifetime. As kids, we even drank from the garden hose and miraculously not one of us neighborhood kids died from drinking it.

Given that background, I could never justify paying $2/bottle for “better water” in preference to the stuff that was delivered to the house via city plumbing for pennies per gallon.  

But that’s not the point of this post. Every kid in every class I’ve been to seems to have one of those 16oz clear plastic bottles on the desk that originally contained French, Alpine or some such glacially pure “better water". The 3^rd grade class I had yesterday is no exception.

I had recess duty with the 3^rd graders when one of my half pint students approaches to ask if I will open the classroom so she could fill her water bottle from the drinking fountain in the classroom.

“I’m real hot and thirsty!”

The classroom is only 50-60 feet away, but I’m reluctant to cede her request when there was a perfectly good drinking fountain right behind her as I pointed out.

“Oh, I can’t.  My mom only allows me to drink bottled water!”

I could have pointed out that the plumbing to the OUTSIDE water fountain was the same as the one INSIDE the classroom and therefore had the same water. Also, refilling the bottle after she had already consumed the “better water” didn’t really make it "bottled water" any longer. Actually, it was probably worse depending how many times I suspect that same bottle has been refilled over the course of several classroom days.

Instead, I opted to open the classroom so she could fill her bottle and saved myself the panic that might ensue if the rest of the class (…and maybe the rest of the school?) found out.

It will just have to be our little secret that drinking fountains in the school don’t deliver “better water” than what kids 50yrs ago consumed and that drinking it won’t kill you!

The First Answer is Free…

I always get a positive response when handing out quiz and test materials with the standard promise:

“I’ll always give you the first answer for free!”

That always seems to accelerate the process of getting tables cleared, a pencil out and their undivided attention toward the front of the room in record time.

With dramatic pause and thirty pencils poised to snag a freebie answer, I direct their attention to the top of the page where the first question is:  

NAME________________

"The first answer is: your name"

Varied responses:

Groan!

…Ha, Ha, I get it, Good one!

…And let me guess, the answer to the 2^nd question is: Date?
...I don’t get it! (…from slow on the uptake group still looking at QUESTION #1)

Steve Jobs (1955 - 2011)

Rest in peace Steve...

View more videos at: http://nbcbayarea.com.

Chain Gang Elementary...

One important item I carry in my subbing bag is a book to read at break, lunch and even in the classroom when the kids are doing “silent reading time”. It’s good to set an example in the classroom. 

I recently received a book in the mail detailing the “fictional” tale of an idealistic newsletter writer who gets drafted as the Parent Teacher Organization (PTO) president at his son's elementary school.

The opening paragraph hints that his idealism isn’t going to prevail…

“…In the twelfth year of his marriage, sixteen months before the shooting, twenty-one shopping days until Christmas, and eight hours before he reckoned for the tenth time that his wife didn’t love him, Richard Gray met a woman who would have roughly the same effect on his life a tornado has on a trailer park.”

I have to admit that I had a hard time reading the book. Not because of the fast paced and well written storyline but the cover art seemed to draw more than a few double takes from fellow educators passing through the teachers' lounge.

Save some money, the awkward stare and get the Kindle version on Amazon...

Roving Substitute Essentials…

My bag of “Substitute Teacher Essentials” or “Bag of Tricks (BOT)”, as some subs call it, weighs about 12lbs. I only have to lug it once from the car to the classroom and then back again at the end of the day.

Evidentially, the substitute call system has a hard time finding takers for the generic unstated “Vacancy” assignment. In this district, “vacancy” is synonymous for the word “roving sub”. After only one month into this New Year, I’ve already had two roving assignments with six future assignments on the books.

Roving, as opposed to aimless wandering, is simply covering for teachers that have scheduled meetings with school functionaries during school hours. It could be as few as four teachers to as many as eighteen in a single day. It’s an easy assignment but not very exciting for those who sub in hopes of gaining experience for that hopeful full time teacher position…(of which I’m not one)

Roving, obviously, requires a lot of walking around the campus from classroom to classroom. That’s when carrying that bag becomes a real burden, literally! There is also the real possibility that I could forget which classroom I left it in.

Now, when I have a “roving” assignment, the BOT stays in the car. I take only my “roving substitute essentials” which are: reading glasses, a book to read during break time, a whistle, sun glasses and a hat. You’ll need the whistle, sunglasses and hat because frequently the teacher you are covering for has the class outside at recess or doing P.E.

If you are blessed with good eyesight and hair follicle genes, you might be able to trim your list to just the remaining three essentials.

Math: Ten More, Ten Less

I subbed three 1^st grade classes at the same school the first week of the new school year. The kids are starting to learn the concept of words problems and number placement in Math.

Their workbook pages were concentrating on organizing number groups of adding and subtraction by 10’s in the form: “What’s 10 more? What’s 10 less? What’s 3 more? What’s 1 less”…etc

Skipping the coloring questions #6 & #8, Take a couple of seconds and answer problems 4, 5 and 7.

(click to enlarge)

 Did you get 24, 14 and 34?

Imagine my confusion when first two kids I asked replied with: 22, 12 and 32. It was then I knew something was wrong.

The kids dutifully followed the first instruction by counting each letter in the picture where I “saw” two rows of 10 with four extra.

Did the publishers intentionally try to make this a trick question or was it a screw up in the art department that depicted the first two rows of NINE letters and one row of four?

You can vote your opinion in the comments section.

Air Swimmers

These would be great in the classroom for some downtime entertainment!

Don’t Panic…

My job assignment starts exactly 30mins before the kids enter the room. Most of that time is used to review the lesson plans, locate all the material on the plan and try to make sure that I know how to work all of the in-classroom “technology”.

This doesn’t portend a good start to my day with 5^th graders when I don’t know what the definition of “shortly” means.

Also, I don’t want “access”. All I desire is the printed hard copy, please. 

London school seeks bouncers to ‘cover’ kids

Just what I need...more competition:

London school seeks bouncers to ‘cover’ kids

(Of course I jest as I try out "bloggers" share feature) 

What a Difference a Year Makes...

Last year’s change over to the new substitute call system seems to have changed without notice. For the first time, I was able to go online and view eight new available assignments going out as far as Feb/2012.

I took them all…

Trying Hard to Remember…

I’ve completed two of three assignments in 1st grade this week. If tomorrow is anything like Monday and Wednesday, I’ll be glad when 3:00pm rolls around. I’m trying to remember to tell myself that these guys are just 10 days out of Kindergarten and not yet in “school mode”.

All the 1st grade teachers are on campus this week doing individual student assessments while substitute teachers are have the rest of the class for the day. My daily report for Monday listed two names that pretty much used up 85% of my voice, energy and fortitude.

Meeting with the teacher at the end of the day, she said she was not surprised they didn’t behave any better for me than they do for her.

Wednesday’s class was more of the same with twice the number unfocused still-stuck-in-kinder-mode tykes. The only calm moment realized was during the reading of the next two chapters of  “Flat Stanley”. Their teacher wasn’t surprised by her class behavior report either!

Totally Wrong Answers…

Glad you could stop in for today's “F In Exams” book tour.
Your next stop tomorrow is over on: Blogging through the Fourth Dimension

The book titled “F In Exams” by Richard Benson claims to have “The very best totally wrong test answers”. While the A’s in the Q/A’s are pretty wrong, they are also pretty entertaining

Click here for sample Q&A pages

While it IS wrong, I’d have to give partial credit for the following math test answer because it made me think more about the question.

The author displays his own humor pointing out “wrongness” by publishing a book with a table of contents while omitting the actual page numbers in the book ;)

Anyway, if you’d like a chance for a free copy of the book, use the comment section and be sure to include your first name and email address or send an email with your name and return email address to: KauaiMark@gmail.com on or before September 14th. One winner will be selected Sept 15th

One entry per person please.

(Entries via the comments section will not be displayed publicly.)

Drawing entries to date: 10 (...odds are good!)

...and the winner is: Darren from California !!  

Procrastination Means Work for Me…

My assignment was for two days in 6th grade this week. It came with an addendum note that stated: “…class will be held in the library both days”. When I arrived Monday morning, the office clarified what was going on.

It seems that 6th grade enrollment had dropped over the summer. As a result all five 6th grade classes were under populated. The decision was made to disband one of the 6th grade classrooms and re-absorb the students into the remaining four.

Coincidentally, the 1st grade classes were over populated and the, now the newly surplused, 6th grade teacher was now going to be the teacher for the “over quota” 1st graders.

The “new” 1st grade teacher, under contract, is allowed a two day transition period to dismantle the old 6th grade classroom and setup her new 1st grade classroom. My job is to cover those days and be with her 6th graders until they disperse to their new class assignments.

All this was finalized by the school district on Friday, the third day after the start of the new school year. I found out later via “teachers lounge scuttlebutt” that the district has been “grappling” with situation since mid-summer.

The uncertainty and apprehension among the kids was obvious as I was asked several times both days if I knew which classes they were going into. I had no answers. It was Tuesday afternoon when I delivered them to the 6th grade wing when they finally had the answer while meeting their new teachers.

I can’t imagine that the situation will be much better over in the 1st grade wing come tomorrow.

Unlike Last Year…

This school year is off to a fast start.

Three days into the new school year and I’ve been offered 18 ½ days of work for August/Sept.

…so far.

Start of School Year 2011/12

The school year started yesterday. I’m waiting for that first assignment call.

Well…technically that’s inaccurate, because there was a call on Tuesday but I missed it.

My “California Emergency 30-Day Substitute Teaching Permit” expires Aug 1 of every year. I submitted my $57 renewal payment mid-July before the expiration date and one week later, the state renewed my status for one additional year.

With a freshly printed copy of my permit, I turned it in to the district office the next day to have my status updated for the 2011-12 school year. Two weeks later, the district substitute assignment system still has me listed as “expired”.

With only two weeks left before the start of the school year, I call the district office to find out what’s up.

“We’ve been busy, haven’t had time to enter the data. We’ll have everyone updated before the start of school”. Another couple weeks pass with no updates.

Tuesday, the day before school starts, I’m still “expired” and a personal visit to the office (…this is the 3rd attempt) is warranted. As soon as I entered, she knew exactly what I was there for even before I asked.

“Sorry, sorry we just haven’t gotten around to it yet. I’ll do it right now.” …and she does.

Leaving the district office, I completed a few errands and lunch before returning home.

That’s when I discover a missed call from the district subbing call center indicating that I missed the first assignment call for 2011-12.

I may have to re-think my money conservation choice of not paying for a cell phone.