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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Winter Break Optimist…

When I was a kid and we had a week off from the classroom, the last place my friends and I would think of hanging out was “the school”. Evidentially, there are a few who think otherwise.

After a week off, I approach the 5th grade classroom which had the word “Bitch” written in large yellow crayon on the blue classroom door.

I’m pretty sure the message wasn’t meant personally but after unlocking the door, I called the office and got the principle.

Prince: Yea, we got hit sometime last week, I thought we had it all cleaned up but I guessed we missed one. Did they at least spell it correctly?

Me: Actually, yes and it was even in legible cursive!

Prince: Well, I guess that’s ONE positive, isn’t it?

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Winter Break…

I was previously scheduled for only Monday and Thursday (same school) this past week before winter break. But it didn’t turn out that way. Either checking into or out of the school office every day, they had additional requests from teachers for me.

I ended up subbing every day this week for two 3rd grades classes, one 2nd and two 5th grade classes. Additionally, I’m already assigned to two classes the first week they come back.

Random items of note from this past week’s assignments:

From the Monday lesson plan for 5th grade:
“…I have a group of extremely active students who lack self control and common sense. Nice but immature”
Ugh!!!

Tuesday lesson plan for 3rd grade:
09:15 morning recess duty
01:15 afternoon recess duty
02:35 bus duty (…in the rain as it turned out)
…grrrrr! Karma!!

Friday lesson plan for 5th grade (same class as Monday):
09:15 to 10:00 – Ms. I will conduct the Cornerstone reading lesson. You have this time off, enjoy!

11:15 to 12:00 – Science prep, Ms. H will conduct science lesson and then dismiss the class for lunch. You have this time off, enjoy! (This means an 85 minute lunch “hour” for me!!)

This was the first time I’ve ever encountered two, free time “prep” periods for the same class. I think the teacher was feeling sorry for leaving me with “students who lack self control and common sense…”

Thursday, February 12, 2009

My Two Cents Worth...

Actually, it's .002 cents worth...

If you fail math in school, you might end up working for the phone company!




-- or making new advances in field of government mathematics --

...PALO ALTO, CA - An international mathematics research team announced today that they had discovered a new integer that surpasses any previously known value "by a totally mindblowing shitload." Project director Yujin Xiao of Stanford University said the theoretical number, dubbed a "stimulus," could lead to breakthroughs in fields as diverse as astrophysics, quantum mechanics, and Chicago asphalt contracting.

"Unlike previous large numbers like the Googleplex or the Bazillionty, the Stimulus has no static numerical definition," said Xiao. "It keeps growing and growing, compounding factorially, eating up all zeros in its path. It moves freely across Cartesian dimensions and has the power to make any other number irrational."

Read the whole news release over at the IowaHawk



HT to Darren for both finds at Right On the Left Coast

Friday, February 06, 2009

Odd Subbing Assignment…

I wasn’t quite sure what I was agreeing to after Tuesday night's call from a 4th grade teacher.

“…Tomorrow is our “Walking Wednesday Lunch”. If you are available and willing, you would take my place walking the class to the park for lunch tomorrow.”

This sounded interesting so I agreed to sub for her class the next day.

“…Be sure to bring your lunch to eat there! There won’t be any lesson plan because I’ll do the classroom instruction.”

Sure enough, with bag lunch in hand I checked into the office and found the teacher in the staff lounge.

“…I’m just getting over this bad cold and yesterdays walk out to the car after school exhausted me. I knew I couldn’t make the walk to the park today and I didn’t want to disappoint the kids. Thanks for coming and helping out.”

So my job Wednesday was to just help out in the classroom doing one-on-one help with the math problems and anything else she directed me to do. About 10:30am, we assembled all four of the classes and the other three 4th grade teachers on the blacktop before beginning the trek through the neighborhood streets to the park about 1.5 miles away.

We had lunch, the kids played in the park a couple hours and we got back to the school with about 20 minutes before the dismissal bell.

A very easy, non-stressful day but by the time I got to my car that afternoon, I was exhausted!

I need to get in better shape!!…

Bullshitistol...

"Take Stimulis once every election cycle or whenever you're in need of economic enhancement..."

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Wanted...

Since I last checked in about those last two, trying, terrible, 6th grade classes, I filled out this last week with 3rd graders once, two 5th grade classes, one really odd day with 4th graders and today with 2nd graders.

Because I hadn’t subbed for the 3rd grade teacher before, she was a little worried about turning her class over to me. An office staff recommendation went a long way to reassure her that I wouldn’t damage her kids too much.

She had left me detailed plans, notes, and extra work if needed (I didn’t). Her class was terrific, I had a good time with them and I left a good report. I encountered her in the teachers lounge yesterday and she was telling me how much the kids liked me.

“They even drew a red heart around where you wrote your name on the board!!”. Are you available for next Friday? They have a field trip to the Winchester Mystery House and I’ve seen it so many times and all those stairs are tiring!

Before I could answer, a teacher I had already arranged an assignment with on the same date spoke up: “He’s mine! I reserved him two weeks ago!”

It’s nice to be wanted, but the field trip sounded much more fun than 5th graders…

This Week's Odd Name Update...

Odd kid names for the week:

Vyvy - girl (pronounced Vee-Vee)
Benz - boy
Chanel - girl
Xochili - girl (Pronounced ???)