Dear Mille...

They are still looking for you. Just yesterday they called for the eighth time in the last two weeks (I wasn’t home for the first seven calls). They still persist on hanging to that bogus address and phone number you gave (which happens to be mine) while passing that bad $300 check.

These clueless wonders haven’t been able to master searching that new fangled “inter-web” thingy yet so I’ll guess I should help them out so they quit pestering ME.

To:

• Alliance Asset Management, Inc., Wood Dale, Ill
• National Credit Adjusters, Hutchinson KS
  
• AIS Services, Brookfield WI
  
• OSI Recovery Solutions, Brookfield WI
  
• Paragon Way, Austin TX
  
• …and whatever dunderheaded collection agency currently owns the account.

If I were you and wanted to find someone named Milehannah Perry, I might contact Laney College for a copy of their 2005 yearbook and check the women’s softball roster.

I also might inquire at an organization called Youth Uprising for a possible last known mailing address, email address or a contact number.

I might…but “I” won’t.