Milehannah Perry Again...

Well, I got my next quarterly demand letter from yet another debt collection agency looking for Milehannah Perry.

It seems that “bad debt” collections agencies BUY the accounts from creditors and each other at a discount in the hopes that someone, one day will locate and/or pressure somebody to pay up to make them go away.

Evidentially my plan to have web searches for “Milehannah Perry” clue these guys in hasn’t kicked in yet. So now I feel an open letter to all debt collection services that might be enticed to buy this “loan” from the current agency might be in order:

I wrote this letter to the first collection agency last year after several attempts to explain the situation. The name and address of the first agency has been deleted but it still holds true for any and all agencies that find their way here:

To: Any And ALL Debt Recovery Services

P.O. Box “whatever”

In All States of the US of A

RE: Ref# - Milehannah F. Perry check forger/scam artist/criminal

Thank you for ignoring my previous response to your demand to pay but as I already informed you in my last response:

THIS PERSON DOES NOT nor HAS EVER LIVED AT THIS ADDRESS!!

I have no idea who this scam artist is. I assume he/she picked our address with a common last name from the phone book and has been writing bad checks all across town.

As for your demand of “The decision is yours, PAY THE BILL”, well that just isn’t going to happen, at least from ME anyhow. Please proceed with all due haste and “proceed with further collection activity” because Milehannah surely isn’t going to get the message at this address.

If you wish additional information FROM ME, then please provide a toll free phone number or self addressed and postage paid envelope and I’ll help in any way I can, short of paying his/her bad debts.

If you can catch this deadbeat, I’ll help you press charges, testify in court or personally beat the living daylights out of this person for involving me and my wife in this identity theft attempt.

I look forward to your next communiqué.

…Mark